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View Full Version : Please Congratulate the God of Bullshit



wheelchairman
06-17-2005, 01:35 AM
Alright y'all. I just finished my IT presentation, based on a power point I made this morning, on a report I had lost until I borrowed it this morning, on a subject I know nothing about.

My note cards were blank pieces of paper.

And for anyone who knows me, I know jack shit about IT.

Yet I was able to pull of my speech on how html coding is outdated and website design should be based on Database Integration Technology (like PHP) using MySequel. Talk about primary keys and shit. And to top it off, a little mention of parallel development for the intranet and the necessesity of employee development.

I am a God of Improve.

And this isn't even unusual. In my last business case presentation, they asked me about the other European Competitors to Bella Center (a Danish conference Hall), I said something like 'I forgot the name, but I believe there is one in Frankfurt.' Total bonus it was correct.

Endymion
06-17-2005, 01:44 AM
MySequel

mysql, please. it's not even pronounced that way--you say the letters.

lost_nvrfound
06-17-2005, 01:51 AM
i did that last semester when i had to write a paper on the random number theory. i had no knowledge whatsoever on the subject, so i just wrote several pages on how there is no such thing as a random number when its found with an equation, all you get are pseudorandom numbers. and then i went on to describe how this effects the jury selection (the members are selected by a "random" number producing program) and how there will always be a group of numbers that are never selected.

all of that had absoutely nothing to do with the random number theory, but, since my teacher had never had someone do that subject before, i got a B because she knew hardly anything on the subject either. and i never turned in the other parts of the assignment cause i'm lazy. somehow i still managed a B.

i do that a lot. somehow, i got straight As this year and i never once put effort into passing. i have no clue how in hell that happened. its mind boggling really. i hardly ever did my homework and never payed attention in class.

EDIT: oh yeah... congratulations oh great god of bullshit

RXP
06-17-2005, 02:06 AM
HTML is merely a markup language. Indeed databse integration is the way to the future but for websites that require no updating or made by small home useres HTML is fine.

sKratch
06-17-2005, 02:15 AM
I endorse the comments made about "MySequel".

Sin Studly
06-17-2005, 06:24 AM
Bullshit is the finest art form known to mankind.

wheelchairman
06-17-2005, 06:44 AM
People, People, I am the god of bullshit. Why on Earth would I put in my powerpoint, a word I don't know how to spell?

Anyways when I wrote 'mysql' I was drunk and a little high so cut me some slack.

I endorse Sin Studly's comment. So true.

wheelchairman
06-17-2005, 10:19 AM
Forgot to mention that I got a 10. This is a very good grade in the Danish standards, equivalent to an A- in the American system. 90% or so.

*bump*

the_GoDdEsS
06-17-2005, 10:44 AM
Whoa, congrats. I bullshitted my way through two exams where I got some weird questions. And at the end of one of them my prof asked me where the hell I studied from because it was good. Err, my own thoughts? I lied about reading some books.

the_GoDdEsS
06-17-2005, 10:45 AM
Besides, I love the term. God of Bullshit.

Mota Boy
06-17-2005, 10:54 AM
Ah, good. It was useless to brag about artsy bullshit if you failed. I've churned out some good B.S. in my time.


Forgot to mention that I got a 10. This is a very good grade in the Danish standards, equivalent to an A- in the American system. 90% or so.
So... are you saying the Danish grading system goes up to 11? Why don't you just make ten count for more and make ten be the top number and make that count for a little more?

wheelchairman
06-17-2005, 11:02 AM
Mota Boy, the Danish grading system, is almost wholly dependent on the teacher's interpretation of it. So unlike the American system, the majority of your grade comes from what the teacher, thinks you know, and how much you participate in class. While the written work doesn't really seem to connect to the grades.

And what's worse is the Danish grading system is weird. It doesn't go in even increments, it bounces forward in odd ways. Here's a basic outline of it.

00- Absolutely no work (or maybe a little)
03- Next to no work, but at least you sort of tried
5- failed, but almost passed
6- just passed
7- kinda average, the equivalent of a C
8- slightly above average, room for improvement
9- A strong grade that is always good to have,
The next 3 grades are much rarer than these bottom ones, teachers don't like giving them out.
10- The lowest of the best,
11- This is really good, This is generally the best you can get
13- This is if you go above and beyond the call of duty, I've only ever recieved this grade in English exams.

There is nothing like a good airtight bullshit to make one feel good. I'd say it's actually better than knowing stuff.

Duracell
06-17-2005, 11:05 AM
There is nothing like a good airtight bullshit to make one feel good. I'd say it's actually better than knowing stuff.
I've got to agree with that.

Flexing Wings
06-17-2005, 11:11 AM
I did all that with my Othello stuff... I never owned the book, I fucked about the whole time, never did any essays and came out with a 'B'... imagine how great I'd be if I hadn't pissed half my time up the wall, ey? :D

lost_nvrfound
06-17-2005, 12:15 PM
There is nothing like a good airtight bullshit to make one feel good. I'd say it's actually better than knowing stuff.
damn skippy man!...damn skippy

Mota Boy
06-17-2005, 12:34 PM
WCM, I was hoping that you'd reply with "Ours goes to 11".





But fascinating nonetheless.

wheelchairman
06-17-2005, 01:01 PM
WCM, I was hoping that you'd reply with "Ours goes to 11".





But fascinating nonetheless.
The real question here is, who's bullshitting who?

Endymion
06-17-2005, 01:36 PM
why don't you just make 10 louder?

wheelchairman
06-17-2005, 01:39 PM
I have absolutely no idea what you are trying to say.

Sin Studly
06-17-2005, 10:54 PM
On old-style stereos the maximum volume is 11, not 10. It's a mystery that's been plauging mankind since the dawn of stereophonics.

SkunkIt
06-17-2005, 10:59 PM
Whoa, congrats. I bullshitted my way through two exams where I got some weird questions. And at the end of one of them my prof asked me where the hell I studied from because it was good. Err, my own thoughts? I lied about reading some books.I did that too, and I got a high grade, because I knew the outlines.

Sin Studly
06-17-2005, 11:05 PM
THEY SHOULD JUST MAKE FUCKING TEN LOUDER!

Bah!

HornyPope
06-17-2005, 11:08 PM
That sounds like my life all through high school.