PDA

View Full Version : Boys...



ibid
07-27-2005, 09:12 AM
Since certain males seemed to see the need:

Instructions for guys (http://www.sexhealth.org/bettersex/cunnilingus.shtml)

Sin Studly
07-27-2005, 09:16 AM
I've got better advice.

Just spit on your dicks. It's not like women have orgasms anyway.

Elmo Is My Father
07-27-2005, 10:59 AM
Unless you do cock push-ups. If you do cock push-ups as soon as the ladies see it they will dive onto it and have 900 orgasms.

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
07-27-2005, 11:00 AM
HAHAHA! THIS THREAD IS SO FUNNY!

Is that what you want to hear?

Paint_It_Black
07-27-2005, 11:02 AM
Since certain males seemed to see the need:

Instructions for guys (http://www.sexhealth.org/bettersex/cunnilingus.shtml)

And do you put as much effort into making sure you please your partner? You'd better if you're going to make a post like this. Oh, you can probably get the job done, but making a guy orgasm is easy. It doesn't prove you actually did it well.

Conspiracy of One
07-27-2005, 11:02 AM
This thread is wak...........but its kool

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
07-27-2005, 11:07 AM
Well - no. Just wondering if the boys will take direction in the same vein as they expect the girls too... I guess I wasn't really wondering.

That is so cool!!!!!

[sarcasm]

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
07-27-2005, 11:11 AM
^virgins shouldn't post here

Then why are you posting? Plus, you don't know if im a virgin or not, loser. Plus, im just 17, plus im a christian, so i don't want to have sex before marriedge.

Conspiracy of One
07-27-2005, 11:14 AM
Nimrod In Town']Then why are you posting? Plus, you don't know if im a virgin or not, loser. Plus, im just 17, plus im a christian, so i don't want to have sex before marriedge.


FUck you........... yur not 17!

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
07-27-2005, 11:15 AM
HAHAHAHAHAHa!!

Nimrod (what an apt name): Having 'sex' with your hand does not count.

Keep reading, stupid. I bet you have never had sex. You're too ugly, i'd be a sin to date someone as ugly as you.

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
07-27-2005, 11:16 AM
FUck you........... yur not 17!

Yeah, i am. You're not 14. You're 11.

TheUnholyNightbringer
07-27-2005, 11:17 AM
Nimrod In Town']That is so cool!!!!!

[sarcasm]

Stop being so ridiculously boring and unfunny.

Elmo Is My Father
07-27-2005, 11:17 AM
Nimrod In Town']Then why are you posting? Plus, you don't know if im a virgin or not, loser. Plus, im just 17, plus im a christian, so i don't want to have sex before marriedge.



Buddy,you just totally explained your a virgin.

Conspiracy of One
07-27-2005, 11:18 AM
NIce................... :D

Elmo Is My Father
07-27-2005, 11:19 AM
OH MY SHIT perfect thread to post this.


KITTIES CLUB: LIQUOR IN THE FRONT, POKER IN THE REAR.

Sin Studly
07-27-2005, 08:52 PM
Ibid is pretty hawt. It's a shame her kind can't have orgasms :(

Conspiracy of One
07-27-2005, 08:55 PM
is wrong^^^^
about her being hot

RXP
07-28-2005, 01:30 AM
Ew pussy's dirty and wet.

JoY
07-28-2005, 01:34 AM
Ibid is pretty hawt. It's a shame her kind can't have orgasms :(
man, she looks like Jew to me. Jew-lover.

JoY
07-28-2005, 02:29 AM
phew!

Justin's still a Jew-lover, though.

RXP
07-28-2005, 03:27 AM
I searched google for hot jewish chicks and the best i found was:

http://newjewishtheatre.org/FileUploads/Young-Jewish-Women-JCL-0001.jpg

jennie
07-28-2005, 03:33 AM
Ok boys!!!! There are 152 erogenous zones on a womans body. Now doesn't it sound fun, exciting & pleasureable to go exploring and find them. Even if you only find 1 or 2, she'll at least have one orgasm. Someones religion has nothing to do with whether or not someone will cum. Grow up, prejudice went out with the civil war & WWII
Peace, love & happiness

RXP
07-28-2005, 03:35 AM
Jennie, if I call you up will you come over and show me your 152 zones?

I don't know if to take you seriously. If you are serious, it's amazingly sweet that you'd give 'advice' like that on the phone to someone. But I think it's a joke.

jennie
07-28-2005, 03:43 AM
I think the small pond between England & Socal would prevent us. Do you have my #?

RXP
07-28-2005, 03:46 AM
Dude, I don't want any advice. I know the problem, it's my 3" penis :(

JoY
07-28-2005, 03:49 AM
I searched google for hot jewish chicks and the best i found was:

http://newjewishtheatre.org/FileUploads/Young-Jewish-Women-JCL-0001.jpg
ohhh NOEZZ! *shakes head*

jennie
07-28-2005, 03:49 AM
Don't worry I'm sure there a girl out there with a 3 inch vagina perfect for you

neocon58
07-28-2005, 03:51 AM
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/forumfun/sucks10.gif

RXP
07-28-2005, 03:53 AM
There was a pic of Jessica Alba in the jewish search but she's not a jew I don't think.

JoY
07-28-2005, 03:55 AM
pfft, everyone's a Jew nowadays. it's like a fucking trend.

Vera
07-28-2005, 04:33 AM
Yeah, what's up with that? Do you get free cable or something if you sign up to become a Jew?

I want Jewdom. :[

Tizzalicious
07-28-2005, 04:35 AM
Tsk, only because you want jewbortions...

Vera
07-28-2005, 04:36 AM
Why of-fucking-course.

There are only so many things one can do with a Jew. Or being a Jew.

Sin Studly
07-28-2005, 06:23 AM
Lampshades, soap, bone chess pieces, book bindings, human hair wigs, the possibilities go on and on.

And yes Bella, you are the Helen Herscht(sp?) to my Amon Göth. Keep mentioning it and eventually I'll hang myself in shame. :(

Preocupado
07-28-2005, 06:31 AM
Boys...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Since certain males seemed to see the need:


I don't need any lessons!!!! :mad: :mad: :mad: :(

Sin Studly
07-28-2005, 06:37 AM
Woah, Preocupadio is acting like a woman who can't give decent head!

Elmo Is My Father
07-28-2005, 06:43 AM
I think so Sin. Maybe she needs more than a website. Really the best thing I can say about this is you don't need a fucking forum to learn about giving head,just look at blowjob porn.

Preocupado
07-28-2005, 06:48 AM
I think so Sin. Maybe she needs more than a website. Really the best thing I can say about this is you don't need a fucking forum to learn about giving head,just look at blowjob porn.

Exactly!!!!! Porn thaught me everything i know about how to use my 19cm penis.

Sin Studly
07-28-2005, 06:49 AM
..... you're an idiot.

edit ; to the bastard lovechild of Elmo

Elmo Is My Father
07-28-2005, 06:51 AM
Oh shut the fuck up you grouchy bastard!

Sin Studly
07-28-2005, 06:53 AM
Does your garage have rafters?

Elmo Is My Father
07-28-2005, 07:06 AM
No my garage has no rafters,but if it did I would have traps in them.

Sin Studly
07-28-2005, 07:10 AM
Is it well ventilated?

Elmo Is My Father
07-28-2005, 07:12 AM
Dude I live in California ofcourse theres a fan.

RXP
07-28-2005, 07:32 AM
In porno the girls are good if you get a special blowjob series. Otherwise yeah they're lame. That chick off ideepthroat is exceptional.

Preocupado
07-28-2005, 07:58 AM
Preocupado would be a male who feels he doesn't need lessons on how to go down on a woman. Which I doubt. heh


I know, i wasant being serious.

Btw, did you compare the reaction from Girls and Boys in both threads?

Mota___Boy
07-28-2005, 08:29 AM
Someone get me a miners helmet and pick axe, im going in (or down)

Sin Studly
07-28-2005, 08:36 AM
Somebody needs to get you a willing woman first.

Therein lies the hard part.

Paint_It_Black
07-28-2005, 09:03 AM
Well, yes, sometimes obviously it's just straight fucking or whatever, but if we're going to get into it then yes.

And you do relise this thread is a comment on another thread titled "Girls.." from a day or two ago?

No, I didn't realise that. Maybe you should have said so in your original post.

Paint_It_Black
07-28-2005, 09:10 AM
Nimrod In Town'] plus im a christian, so i don't want to have sex before marriedge.

You can't even spell 'marriage' you moron.

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
07-28-2005, 09:38 AM
You can't even spell 'marriage' you moron.

It's called Typo. Idiot.

Sin Studly
07-28-2005, 09:54 AM
A typo is a typographical error. It means when you accidently hit the wrong keys, or put letters in the wrong order. Marriedge is obviously a mispelling. I see no possible way for somebody to accidently hit "e" then "d" when they were aiming for "a".

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
07-28-2005, 09:55 AM
A typo is a typographical error. It means when you accidently hit the wrong keys, or put letters in the wrong order. Marriedge is obviously a mispelling. I see no possible way for somebody to accidently hit "e" then "d" when they were aiming for "a".

I do. Since i write without seeing the screen, well excuse me for making an error.

Sin Studly
07-28-2005, 10:04 AM
Yes, an error. A spelling error. Not a typographical error.

Just admit it, your pathetic arguments only make you look stupider.

the_GoDdEsS
07-28-2005, 10:10 AM
Nimrod In Town']It's called Typo. Idiot.

Hahahahaha. Last time I made a typo, you told me to watch my spelling. Moron.

JoY
07-28-2005, 10:57 AM
Lampshades, soap, bone chess pieces, book bindings, human hair wigs, the possibilities go on and on.

And yes Bella, you are the Helen Herscht(sp?) to my Amon Göth. Keep mentioning it and eventually I'll hang myself in shame. :(
Hirsch I think.

& ..does your garage have rafters?

Paint_It_Black
07-28-2005, 11:13 AM
A typo is a typographical error. It means when you accidently hit the wrong keys, or put letters in the wrong order. Marriedge is obviously a mispelling. I see no possible way for somebody to accidently hit "e" then "d" when they were aiming for "a".

I was going to point that out myself.
I knew he was going to try calling it a typo.

sKratch
07-28-2005, 01:19 PM
Nimrod In Town']Plus, you don't know if im a virgin or not, loser. Plus, im just 17, plus im a christian, so i don't want to have sex before marriedge.

Best reply EVER.

SicN Twisted
07-28-2005, 02:06 PM
I can make a girl cum by dry fingering her.

HornyPope
07-28-2005, 02:10 PM
Best reply EVER.

He loves to leave us guessing.

SicN Twisted
07-28-2005, 02:24 PM
You don't want to have sex before marriage because of your religion? That excuse doesn't even work for prude girls, let alone deprived guys.

Paint_It_Black
07-28-2005, 03:12 PM
I know one guy who is waiting to have sex until he's married. He's creepy. Sometimes extremely so. He talks about sex constantly, rages about homosexuals while calling everyone a fag with the slightest provocation. He also frequently goes to strip clubs and doesn't see anything wrong with getting blown before marriage. And possibly not anal either, though I'm not sure. Christians. Strange motherfuckers.

sKratch
07-28-2005, 03:25 PM
Hah I thought I was gonna do the wait till marriage thing in my younger (read: more naive) days, but when the opportunity arrises it's like "OMG TEH SECTKTS!121!1one~" and it kinda fails then and there.

Paint_It_Black
07-28-2005, 04:17 PM
It's an outdated policy. I can only imagine it was designed to limit unwanted pregnancies for people who have no intention of staying together and creating a stable family unit. With birth control readily available, it just doesn't apply anymore. And the divorce rate these days means that getting married doesn't mean you're going to get a lasting, stable family anyway. And fuck, that's ignoring how silly it is to marry someone before you've fully tested them out. I wonder how many poor bastards have been eagerly looking forward to their wedding night only to find their new spouse just doesn't really do it for them. AND if you don't sow those wild oats before marriage you're going to be way more likely to get tempted later, wondering what you missed. I have some unfortunate experience with that last one.

Sin Studly
07-28-2005, 06:47 PM
& ..does your garage have rafters?

Yes, and they're sturdy enough to support a sex swing. Oh my!

jennie
07-29-2005, 02:20 AM
I can make a girl cum by dry fingering her.
God Bless you abundantly over & over again with multiple orgasms in all of your lifetimes; that is an amazing talent that all women greatly appreciate!

And boys... the female orgasm is not a myth, it should be one of your goals to srtive for.
The high a man gets when his friends find out he made a woman cum multiple times is priceless
Jennie

RXP
07-29-2005, 02:26 AM
Jennie what the hell are you? Some kinda graduate in female orgasm preaching?

Bar talk is usually about how a guy rammed a girl up the ass or down her throat, not how he made her cum multiple times. Or maybe I hang round with the wrong type of people.

jennie
07-29-2005, 02:40 AM
Have u ever made a woman cum? Do you know what it's like to cum? For those not ready to have babies; Cumming isn't that why you have sex, for pleasure and joy.

RXP
07-29-2005, 02:48 AM
I've already answered your first question in this thread. Multiple times cause everyone keeps ad hoimuming it up.

Anyway, I realised I misread your post. I was reading "the high when he tells his friends he made a girl cum multiple times" but you meant when the girl tells his friends. That's totally different. So yah I agree. But when a guy brags he usually says how he nailed a girl up the ass or something equally as vulgar.

And where'd you get 152 zones btw? A zone would be a cluster of pleasure tissue. I can't imagine there are that many 'zones'. I've heard of women who can orgasm purely from nipple stimulation so maybe some orgasm from having their kneck kissed and stuff. So does that count as a zone?

jennie
07-29-2005, 03:02 AM
Yes the nipples are a zone. Not to confuse you but some zones have multiple zones within one zone. Everybody has certain areas on their body that sensitive to touch. Playing with featrhers can help u find yours.

RXP
07-29-2005, 03:19 AM
An ex of mine had stupidly sensitive soles of her feet. It was ridiclous. You coudln't touch her there. If by accident you did in the night when you were sleeping you got kneed. Considered a zone?

There's gotta be different zones tho dude. I mean that feet thing is extremely sensitive but it surely *isn't* a pleasure zone. It's the same when girls get painful nipples, surely they don't count as enhanced zones. Getting my back scratched when it's each is extremely pleasureable for me. That isn't surely a zone.

Sin Studly
07-29-2005, 03:44 AM
Female orgasm is just something bitches invented to try and make us spend more time with them and less time at the pub. It's a myth, pure and simple. Multiple orgasm is something they made up to further manipulate the men stupid enough to believe the female orgasm exists at all.

Sin Studly
07-29-2005, 03:48 AM
And yeah, this 152 erogenous zones is bullshit of the highest order. What the hell is your definition of erogenous zone? A place that feels 'nice' when it's touched? Like... perhaps... the entire fucking body? You might as well say "152 parts of the body" instead of "152 erogenous zones".

And multiple zones within one zone? What, are you expecting us to directly stimulate each individual nerve with 29 gauge needles wired with low voltage electrical pulses? Become erotic pressurepoint ninja masters? Deadly five-point pressure hand-jab of pleasure? What the fuck?

Take your preaching elsewhere jennie, you sound like one of those 14 year old virgins who has no idea what sex is like, but has read every book and instruction guide on the subject.

RXP
07-29-2005, 04:33 AM
I'd do Jennie, purely cause she'd be a good teacher if she really knows her shit. She can be like a university. You go into her to learn, you come out a better man.

Sin Studly
07-29-2005, 04:45 AM
Dush, I doubt she's ever felt the touch of a man in her life before. I think it's some teenage girl who reads far too much good-sex-guides in Cosmo magazines.

Sin Studly
07-29-2005, 04:46 AM
ME,me,me,meeeee practise on me pleeeese.
heh

Pay for the airfare, alcohol, amphetamines, make-out tunes and romantic dinner and I'll consider it.

RXP
07-29-2005, 04:52 AM
Dush, I doubt she's ever felt the touch of a man in her life before. I think it's some teenage girl who reads far too much good-sex-guides in Cosmo magazines.

If she's 15, she's game.

Sin Studly
07-29-2005, 05:04 AM
Game female virgins are invariably ugly. Especially if they're whorish enough to be willing to do a paki and still a virgin.

RXP
07-29-2005, 05:11 AM
Oooo jab. What shall I do? She said I sleep with ugly chicks :confused:

Sin Studly
07-29-2005, 06:09 AM
I'd just accept it and sigh. If you argue the point I might be tempted to post a picture of your ex.

RXP
07-29-2005, 06:29 AM
My ex is hot. I don't care what anyone says. She only had a big nose, and for some reason all girls I go for have nose issues going on. This chick I fell for in high school had a big nose and I thought she was perfect and all my mates were like wtf. I'm surprised you didn't call her a jew tho.

Come to think of it, I told her I go for chicks with big noses. That didn't go over very well.

I never knew ibid had an alcohol problem tho. wtf was that about on face the issue? And is Isabella, Bella form here? If you do you shoudln't be ashamed of it, just post there. That's what it's there for. Justin may humliate you for it in the future but he does that shit to everyone. I've told him the most personal shit ever and he posts about it. I don't care tho.

RXP
07-29-2005, 06:41 AM
I have no idea what that means. But OK.

Sin Studly
07-29-2005, 07:23 AM
IJustin may humliate you for it in the future

Change 'may' to 'will'. Humiliate with extreme prejudice, paki.

JoY
07-29-2005, 07:48 AM
please SOMEONE tell me Jennie is a fake account.


NO ONE'S ASKED FOR YOUR SEXUAL EXPERTISE. (at least not seriously) whore.

JoY
07-29-2005, 07:53 AM
And where'd you get 152 zones btw? A zone would be a cluster of pleasure tissue. I can't imagine there are that many 'zones'. I've heard of women who can orgasm purely from nipple stimulation so maybe some orgasm from having their kneck kissed and stuff. So does that count as a zone?
I'm female & real fucking simple;
nipples, neck, lower back/spine, inside of the upper legs, jackpot.

& NO, there's no way I'd fucking orgasm if someone runs his fucking finger down my spine, or chronically chews on my goddam earlobe. jaysus.

JoY
07-29-2005, 07:54 AM
Oi JoY the link was semi serious for those who might want to learn. Most guys couldn't give a shit, but then there's some guys and oooooooohhhhhhh that is sooooo goood.
I was talking about Jennie.

JoY
07-29-2005, 07:58 AM
I never knew ibid had an alcohol problem tho. wtf was that about on face the issue? And is Isabella, Bella form here? If you do you shoudln't be ashamed of it, just post there. That's what it's there for. Justin may humliate you for it in the future but he does that shit to everyone. I've told him the most personal shit ever and he posts about it. I don't care tho.
I chose a different name not to reveal my identity, bitch.

jasofern
07-29-2005, 07:59 AM
*whip cracking noise* lol

HornyPope
07-29-2005, 08:08 AM
If a girl wants to teach me something i dont know, let her demonsrtate it in bed. Seriously. Show me what you like and ill play aong. But dont send me links to websites and tell me to learn on my own as if im not worthy of you until I have 'understood' which of the thousands turns-on you like.

jennie
08-01-2005, 04:06 AM
Just a suggestion, have a safety meeting before you come onto the boards. Hands on experience is the best teacher. Sharing pleasure secrets. Wtf, 152 zones, whether you believe they exist or not wasn't the whole point, there was inspiration in the message, to explore, enjoy sex, your mate & what's being done. Reflexology, massages put it all together and you'll have 152 zones. Listen to what turns people on and you'll have even more zones.
Why does it upset you that people living in the world enjoy sex with orgasms and find pleasure in the human body?

Sin Studly
08-01-2005, 04:09 AM
Seriously though, stop being a virgin and we might listen to you.

jennie
08-01-2005, 06:12 AM
Why do you think I'm a virgin?
I'll admit there a lot of things I have't tried yet, but will. I lost my virginity 16 years ago. I've had some expiernce.

HisHolinessSatan
08-01-2005, 06:16 AM
Femdom issues here?

Sin Studly
08-01-2005, 07:39 AM
Why do you think I'm a virgin?

Because you're acting like a 13-year old virgin who's read too many good-sex guides in back issues of Cosmopolitan.

killer_queen
08-01-2005, 07:42 AM
Because you're acting like a 13-year old virgin who's read too many good-sex guides in back issues of Cosmopolitan.
I used to do that when I was 13.

Sin Studly
08-01-2005, 08:02 AM
But unlike jennie, you grew out of it. Women like jennie are invariably ugly, stupid, crap in bed, everybody hates them, and they score guys by using the "Oh, you're too afraid to have sex with me cause you're insecure" tactic. Which leads me to suggest that if you need to use psychological exortion to get laid, you're ugly and stupid, crap in bed and everybody hates you.