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Brines
08-09-2005, 04:37 PM
Each week, I find multiple typos and/or grammatical errors in the Clare County Review. These oversights make your newspaper lack in professionalism.

After reading through the entire newspaper, I've found the "Bits & Pieces" editorial to be very uninteresting--even more so than the obituaries. The editor never fails to point out the most obvious, mundane facts, such as the temperature outside. There are four seasons, and she seems to write about them fifty-two times a year. The same topics are recycled to the point of monotony. The excessive use of clichés is irritating, by the way. The twenty-five square inches could be used for something more worthwhile, if you ask me.

Kudos to Lisa Zelinski on the exceptional photography and to Mr. Allen, who actually writes about issues that are somewhat significant.

Sincerely,
Devin Brines

___________________________
Does that sound decent to you guys? Could anything be changed? I'm writing to this old lady that writes about her grandchildren and the time of the year every week.

TheUnholyNightbringer
08-09-2005, 04:38 PM
I'd need to read the thing to be able to comment.

Brines
08-09-2005, 04:39 PM
That's why it's in the message.

EDIT: My bad, link provided below!

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
08-09-2005, 04:40 PM
Yeah, it sounds classic, and with good grammar.


And stuff.

Brines
08-09-2005, 04:41 PM
Just one correction: the irritating use of clichés IS, not are. Syntax error.

You've truly attained Notdoc's humour level. I'm laughing my bum off. How ever could I thank you enough?


Thanks a bunch!

Homer
08-09-2005, 04:44 PM
I don't get it. What are we doing here?

Brines
08-09-2005, 04:47 PM
Step 1: Enter thread.
Step 2: Read the letter I wrote to the editor of the local newspaper.
Step 3: Press reply, and tell me what changes I should make to the letter, if any.

barangatang
08-09-2005, 04:54 PM
Excellent, I could not have done any better, throw in a couple of swear words though.

Brines
08-09-2005, 05:00 PM
Turns out they DO have content on their website. Linkage: http://clarecountyreview.com/editorial.htm

*took that part out, edited the part maria informed me of*

Brines
08-09-2005, 05:37 PM
Here's a line from the front page that I stumbled across:

"Any other discussion by individuals who don’t make fourth the effort to bring it to the board will be dismissed."

Brines
08-09-2005, 05:41 PM
You're tuned in on Radio Maria.


Lolz, nice. I'll check it out.

Dirty Bertie
08-10-2005, 01:58 AM
Brines,
Nice letter. However, I think that you are missing a couple of very fundamental things:

Firstly --- EXAMPLES!!!

Always, quote examples to back up your points. It's the first thing they teach in Journalism 101 at Uni i.e. after the first section:

Each week, I find multiple typos and/or grammatical errors in the Clare County Review. These oversights make your newspaper lack in professionalism.

reference some examples from the paper i.e. page number, column number.

Also, Quote a few particularly boring sentences about the weather or excessive cliches from the column etc..

Second --- ADD SOME MORE SUBSTANCE

For example:
The twenty-five square inches could be used for something more worthwhile, if you ask me.

LIKE WHAT??? Say what you think would be better use of space i.e. articles on the Offsprings Greatest Hits

Idiot
08-10-2005, 02:33 AM
Each week, I find multiple typos and/or grammatical errors in the Clare County Review. These oversights make your newspaper lack in professionalism.

After reading through the entire newspaper, I've found the "Bits & Pieces" editorial to be very uninteresting--even more so than the obituaries. The editor never fails to point out the most obvious, mundane facts, such as the temperature outside. There are four seasons, and she seems to write about them fifty-two times a year. The same topics are recycled to the point of monotony. The excessive use of clichés is irritating, by the way. The twenty-five square inches could be used for something more worthwhile, if you ask me.

Kudos to Lisa Zelinski on the exceptional photography and to Mr. Allen, who actually writes about issues that are somewhat significant.

Sincerely,
Devin Brines

___________________________
Does that sound decent to you guys? Could anything be changed? I'm writing to this old lady that writes about her grandchildren and the time of the year every week.


*snoring*





.......................



Boring!

Megs
08-10-2005, 10:32 AM
hey! it rhymes!

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
08-10-2005, 10:32 AM
hey! it rhymes!

Why you have to be going and revive threads?!

Brines
08-10-2005, 10:34 AM
It's not an old thread. It just got pushed to page two because of certain dumbfucks writing retarded shit in other posts, making them go to page 1.


Here's what I have right now...


Each week, I find multiple typos and/or grammatical errors in the Clare County Review. These oversights make your newspaper lack in professionalism. For example, by just merely glancing at the front page of the August 5th edition, I found this mistake: "Any other discussion by individuals who don’t make fourth the effort to bring it to the board will be dismissed." It should be "put forth", not "make fourth."

After reading through the entire newspaper, I've found the "Bits & Pieces" editorial to be very uninteresting--even more so than the obituaries. The editor never fails to point out the most obvious, mundane facts, such as the temperature outside. There are four seasons, and she seems to write about them fifty-two times a year. The same topics are recycled to the point of monotony. Also, the excessive use of clichés is irritating. The twenty-five square inches could be used for something considerably more worthwhile.

I've asked kids my age if they ever read the Clare County Review, and maybe one in ten do on a regular basis. It'd be refreshing if more articles were directed at the youth, rather than the stereotypical grandmother type of topics.

Kudos to Lisa Zelinski on the exceptional photography, however, and to Mr. Allen, who actually writes about issues that are somewhat significant.

Sincerely,
Devin Brines



Bertie, I'll do that crap later.

JoY
08-10-2005, 10:35 AM
how does this interest any of us?

Megs
08-10-2005, 10:57 AM
once again, brilliant and extensive voacbulary! i like it! :p

EDIT: yeah, what brines said about it's not an old thread...etc