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[Warning] Nimrod In Town
08-10-2005, 10:43 AM
I- Thou Shalt Nap
And God gave unto Student a great gift, the gift of napping. God said to him, You shall spend half your day napping. You shall nap in class, in your room and in your friend's room. And God said, if you don't nap, you will not be able to stay up all night drinking. And Student said, Nap I shall, and it was good.

II- Thou Shalt Get Sick All the Time
Now God said to Student, you must be sick all of the time. And student said why. And God said unto him, you shall share drinks, stay up too late, drink too much and make out with people you don't know. Therefore, God said, you shall be sick all year round. But God said, blessed are the sick for they have partied the hardest. And it was good.

III- Thou Shalt Write Witty Away Messages
Student asked, but God, how will I show everyone that I am funny? And God said unto him, thou shall write witty away messages. God said to student, you shall never just say you are in the shower, you shall say you are getting wet and wild…in the shower. You shall never say you are at class, you shall say you are sleeping…in class. God said, if you do not write witty away messages, I shall smite you. Blessed are the funny, for they will get many girls to be their friends but never hook up with them. And it was good.

IV- Thou Shalt Wear a Hoodie
And then Student asked God, God how do I look like a college kid. And God said unto student, you must wear a hoodie, for it is a useful garment. And you shall never wash it either. Student asked God what kind of Hoodie should it be and God said, you shall own one with your school's logo on it and you shall own many others of varying colors and creeds. And Student was pleased and God was pleased.

V- Thou Shalt Shit a Lot
And Student asked of his bathroom habit and God told him, Student, you shall eat in the Cafeteria and you shall shit a lot. And it will not be good shit, it will be the shit of the devil for your ass shall burn for hours. Your school shall put laxatives in their food and you shall feel their pain. And Student began to weep, and God said unto him, Student, fear not the shit, for all your fellow students will be experiencing the same. And Student dried his eyes and thanked God and God told him to use wet naps to ease the pain.

VI- Thou Shalt Eat EasyMac
Student asked unto God if there was any alternatives to the cafeteria, and God said to him, you shall eat a lot of EasyMac. It is easy to make and you don't need milk or a stove. And student said microwaves were forbidden by the RA. And God said to him, you shall hide the microwave under your bed with a towel on top. And Student asked, what if it is discovered. And God told him to stop being such a pussy, and it was good.

VII- Thou Shalt Hook Up
Student then asked of sex. And God said, Student, you shall hook up and be happy. You shall go home with random people every weekend and forget about them the next day. You shall see them at class and be awkward amongst their company. You shall exchange saliva at bars and parties and it will be good. And Student became gleeful and God told Student to wrap it up because He knows where she has been, but Student does not.

VIII- Thou Shalt Join a Club and Never Go to Meetings
Student inquired of his spare time and God reminded him that he should be napping. But Student said he wanted to do other things. So God said unto him, you shall join a club at the beginning of the semester, but then never go to meetings. And Student asked why he should not go to meetings, and God told him, because the glee club is gay. And Student understood His wisdom.

IX- Thou Shalt Wake Up Confused
God said to Student, there will come many a day when you shall wake up in the bed of another and not know where you are. You will not remember what you did last night and you shall be confused. You will see that you have nipple rings and a tattoo now and are covered in Sharpie. And Student was disturbed by this, but God said, you shall tell great stories about it to your friends someday. And Student understood and God took a sip of a beer.

And God gave Student the final Commandment

X- Thou Shalt Gain Weight
And Student wished to hear the final commandment and God said he would not like it. But Student insisted, so God said unto him, you shall gain weight. However, God said, you will not buy new clothes, so you will wear sweat pants a lot. God said, Student, you will watch a lot of TV and become fat to which Student wept profusely. But God comforted Student saying, you will still get ass even if you cannot tie your shoes anymore. Student felt better and God pointed to Student's chest saying, those will soon be bitch tits. And it was good.

This is the word of God, follow the Ten Commandments of College or you will be smote!

Edit: I mispelled College, sorry.

sKratch
08-10-2005, 10:45 AM
Colledge, eh? Maybe you need to go there.
Edit: Nice edit.

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
08-10-2005, 10:45 AM
Colledge, eh? Maybe you need to go there.

I said i misspelled it! Sorry!

0r4ng3
08-10-2005, 10:46 AM
That was kinda funny, so I know you copy+pasted.

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
08-10-2005, 10:48 AM
That was kinda funny, so I know you copy+pasted.

No. I got the idea from my friend. It took me alot of time to write it...i think there's typos and stuff. I don't care.

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
08-10-2005, 10:48 AM
My personal favorite:

VI- Thou Shalt Eat EasyMac
Student asked unto God if there was any alternatives to the cafeteria, and God said to him, you shall eat a lot of EasyMac. It is easy to make and you don't need milk or a stove. And student said microwaves were forbidden by the RA. And God said to him, you shall hide the microwave under your bed with a towel on top. And Student asked, what if it is discovered. And God told him to stop being such a pussy, and it was good.

0r4ng3
08-10-2005, 10:50 AM
Nimrod In Town']No. I got the idea from my friend. It took me alot of time to write it...i think there's typos and stuff. I don't care.Whatever, it's still funny, especially the one with the club.

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
08-10-2005, 10:55 AM
Whatever, it's still funny, especially the one with the club.
Yeah, the glee club is gay.

sKratch
08-10-2005, 11:05 AM
You couldn't have written it, because you have to attend college to get some of them.

the_GoDdEsS
08-10-2005, 11:45 AM
Shut up, lodat. No matter what you post or copy is gonna be lame. You have no idea about life.

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
08-10-2005, 12:32 PM
Shut up, lodat. No matter what you post or copy is gonna be lame. You have no idea about life.

It's a joke! Oh jeez!

Rag Doll
08-10-2005, 12:56 PM
You couldn't have written it, because you have to attend college to get some of them.

Exactly.

Some of them are so true... =x

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
08-10-2005, 12:58 PM
Exactly.

Some of them are so true... =x

My brother told me them, with his friend. He's in college.

sKratch
08-10-2005, 01:04 PM
Exactly.

Some of them are so true... =x
Yeah... I knew people with magic towels (microwaves).

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
08-10-2005, 03:09 PM
Bump!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jebus
08-10-2005, 03:42 PM
http://users.wfu.edu/watkjk1/The%20Ten%20Commandments%20of%20College.htm
pw3nd?

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
08-10-2005, 03:44 PM
http://users.wfu.edu/watkjk1/The%20Ten%20Commandments%20of%20College.htm
pw3nd?

Nope. Becuase i got it from here:

http://forum.vgcats.com/showthread.php?t=2661

Plus, i didn't say i made it up.

Jebus
08-10-2005, 03:45 PM
Nimrod In Town']Nope. Becuase i got it from here:

http://forum.vgcats.com/showthread.php?t=2661
It doesn't matter where you got it from.

Nimrod In Town']Plus, i didn't say i made it up.

Nimrod In Town']No. I got the idea from my friend. It took me alot of time to write it...i think there's typos and stuff. I don't care.
..........

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
08-10-2005, 03:48 PM
..........

Exactly. I got it from my friend.

Jebus
08-10-2005, 03:50 PM
Nimrod In Town']Exactly. I got it from my friend.
You got the idea from your friend. You also said it took you a lot of time to write.
I shouldn't bother arguing with you.

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
08-10-2005, 03:53 PM
You got the idea from your friend. You also said it took you a lot of time to write.
I shouldn't bother arguing with you.

I got the idea from my friend. I didn't know he got it from there.

sKratch
08-10-2005, 09:50 PM
You're a fucking moron. I think my new hobby will be googling every thread you make to check if it's actually original. Seriously, that's so fucking stupid. And then you bump it?

Jebus
12-09-2005, 02:13 AM
This is where it all began. If it wasn't for skratch, all of this would have never happened.

T-6005
12-09-2005, 02:17 AM
damn... He's a horrible liar, as well.

TheUnholyNightbringer
12-09-2005, 07:17 AM
lolzrofflepwnd

rusty
02-23-2008, 06:57 PM
A only know that from The Simpsons o be fair, Thats as far as ma knowledge goes of mr Poe

TheUnholyNightbringer
02-25-2008, 09:58 AM
Why in the love of God did you bump a three-year old thread to say that?

the_offsprings_monkey
02-25-2008, 10:01 AM
Just what I was thinkings!

XYlophonetreeZ
02-25-2008, 03:22 PM
Hey, remember when Lodat was really lame? Oh wait.

Lodat225
02-25-2008, 04:47 PM
I do.

Oh wait. He still is!