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Sin Studly
08-11-2005, 08:41 AM
I'm a crap lay, give me some sex advice.

jennie
08-11-2005, 08:43 AM
a crap lay? Are u scared of women?

Sin Studly
08-11-2005, 08:44 AM
No, I mean I can't satisfy my sexual partners.

Give me advice.

JoY
08-11-2005, 08:45 AM
you stole this from me, bastard.

Sin Studly
08-11-2005, 08:46 AM
It deserved it's own thread.

voodoomagik
08-11-2005, 08:52 AM
jennie=NiG?

JoY
08-11-2005, 08:53 AM
no, that's Jenny. get with the times.

voodoomagik
08-11-2005, 08:55 AM
sorry! i've been away for a month!

Sin Studly
08-11-2005, 08:57 AM
C'mon jennie, where's my sex advice? Are you busy looking up websites to copy and paste from?

TheUnholyNightbringer
08-11-2005, 08:58 AM
She's reading a thread that's been closed for at least a few days.

Sin Studly
08-11-2005, 09:03 AM
I'll never be a he-man superfuck without her advice :(:(:(

jennie
08-11-2005, 09:30 AM
I apologize for for abscense, I've been working long hours, not to mention dealing with egotistical pricks, who have waged a war against the divine. You might want to pray for mercy for all the assholes who have wronged me. I'm not feeling very merciful right now & having trouble coming up with a good reason on why I should. Normally I show great mercy for others in case I'm in their shoes one day, but I know for a fact that even on my worst day, I won't have been so fucking arrogant, selfish, disrespectful and be outrightly some of the stupiest people on this earth, to actrually think they were going to get away with what they did, without some serious consequences. Again pray for these poor fucks as they get reaquianted with the divine, consequences of actions, karma, mother nature and heaven. I'm taking suggestions on how I this will be made up to me, how it will be corrected, and how fast will all fucks ups be made right.

What turns you on? what is your fav part olf the female body? what do you love a girl to do to you?

Thucydides
08-11-2005, 09:31 AM
^ whoa...it's Maria the Second!

Sin Studly
08-11-2005, 09:34 AM
I get turned on by Nazi chicks.

TheUnholyNightbringer
08-11-2005, 09:35 AM
I apologize for for abscense, I've been working long hours, not to mention dealing with egotistical pricks, who have waged a war against the divine. You might want to pray for mercy for all the assholes who have wronged me. I'm not feeling very merciful right now & having trouble coming up with a good reason on why I should. Normally I show great mercy for others in case I'm in their shoes one day, but I know for a fact that even on my worst day, I won't have been so fucking arrogant, selfish, disrespectful and be outrightly some of the stupiest people on this earth, to actrually think they were going to get away with what they did, without some serious consequences. Again pray for these poor fucks as they get reaquianted with the divine, consequences of actions, karma, mother nature and heaven. I'm taking suggestions on how I this will be made up to me, how it will be corrected, and how fast will all fucks ups be made right.

You smell!

LOL!

Evil-Dead
08-11-2005, 10:02 AM
I get turned on by Nazi chicks.

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/6305808120.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

Sin Studly
08-11-2005, 10:04 AM
Dude, don't get me started on how gorgeous Ilsa is.

jennie
08-11-2005, 10:09 AM
What do you want to do to her????How would you love her?

Sin Studly
08-11-2005, 10:12 AM
I don't know, you're supposed to be telling me this kind of stuff. I don't know how sex works, I've never had it before.

killer_queen
08-11-2005, 10:15 AM
I don't know, you're supposed to be telling me this kind of stuff. I don't know how sex works, I've never had it before.
Me too! Let's try together.

Sin Studly
08-11-2005, 10:17 AM
First we need jennie to tell us how.

MichealCorleone
08-11-2005, 10:21 AM
Me too! Let's try together.

* neither 10 fucking characters

ruroken
08-11-2005, 10:23 AM
* neither 10 fucking characters
Correcting grammar now? Wait...it is 'grammar' right?

Thucydides
08-11-2005, 10:23 AM
* neither 10 fucking characters

I love you. :)

Sin Studly
08-11-2005, 10:23 AM
Hi Mikey baby!

Sin Studly
08-11-2005, 10:24 AM
Make love to me Micheal, please!

killer_queen
08-11-2005, 10:25 AM
* neither 10 fucking characters
I can't believe I'm saying this but thank you, I've never been able to learn how to use the word neither.

Sin Studly
08-11-2005, 10:28 AM
Where's my damn sex advice already? I could have a chick waiting in my bedroom for all you know, jennie! Without sex advice from you my entire love life will be derailed :( I need your sex advice, I simply cannot live a rich and fulfilling life without you telling me exactly how to please a woman.

jennie
08-11-2005, 10:44 AM
OK START BY KISING HER & letting her feel how turned on you are. When you start to feel her get weak from your kiss & touch, start kissing the other parts of her body that turn u on. When u get to 3rd base, pretend it's your favorite guitar, !st acoustic the electric. After she cums then, your penis can enter her. Have music in the background that you like and that has a easy strong solid bass/beat that you connect to. Use this a your rythm guide. pay attention to how she responds to what you do (her body) intensity. Do what feels good.
Chocolate sauce or some other liquid you like, makes oral sex a lot more fun, becasue you have to lick it all off. A feather on any naked body will make anyone cum.
What else would u like to know? Any questions?

Sin Studly
08-11-2005, 10:52 AM
What else would u like to know? Any questions?

Are you actually a real person, and if so, are you certified insane?

jennie
08-11-2005, 10:52 AM
OK START BY KISING HER & letting her feel how turned on you are. When you start to feel her get weak from your kiss & touch, start kissing the other parts of her body that turn u on. When u get to 3rd base, pretend it's your favorite guitar, !st acoustic the electric. After she cums then, your penis can enter her. Have music in the background that you like and that has a easy strong solid bass/beat that you connect to. Use this a your rythm guide. pay attention to how she responds to what you do (her body) intensity. Do what feels good.
Chocolate sauce or some other liquid you like, makes oral sex a lot more fun, becasue you have to lick it all off. A feather on any naked body will make anyone cum.
What else would u like to know? Any questions?

TheUnholyNightbringer
08-11-2005, 10:52 AM
Oh man, this thread is classic.

voodoomagik
08-11-2005, 10:53 AM
do me......

JohnnyNemesis
08-11-2005, 10:54 AM
* neither 10 fucking characters

Wait, isn't it proper to use the spelling "ten" in this situation, rather than the numeral?

TheUnholyNightbringer
08-11-2005, 10:55 AM
Why yes, yes it is.

JohnnyNemesis
08-11-2005, 10:56 AM
Wow. I've rendered another user's existence completely obsolete.

It's good to be back.

Sin Studly
08-11-2005, 10:57 AM
What else would u like to know? Any questions?

Also ; have you ever had sex? Ever?

Sin Studly
08-11-2005, 10:58 AM
Wow. I've rendered another user's existence completely obsolete.

MichealCorleone already had his spelling corrected by MichaelCorleone, and he's still posting. It was pretty fucking classic.

jennie
08-11-2005, 11:03 AM
What makes me insane?? yes i'm real & have had some sex. Not as often as like but I'm working on it, and waiting for him to get his head out of his ass and call me

voodoomagik
08-11-2005, 11:04 AM
What makes me insane?? yes i'm real & have had some sex. Not as often as like but I'm working on it, and waiting for him to get his head out of his ass and call me
tell us more

Thucydides
08-11-2005, 11:05 AM
OK START BY KISING HER & letting her feel how turned on you are. When you start to feel her get weak from your kiss & touch, start kissing the other parts of her body that turn u on. When u get to 3rd base, pretend it's your favorite guitar, !st acoustic the electric. After she cums then, your penis can enter her. Have music in the background that you like and that has a easy strong solid bass/beat that you connect to. Use this a your rythm guide. pay attention to how she responds to what you do (her body) intensity. Do what feels good.
Chocolate sauce or some other liquid you like, makes oral sex a lot more fun, becasue you have to lick it all off. A feather on any naked body will make anyone cum.
What else would u like to know? Any questions?

I'm confused....I thought this was supposed to be pretty easy but it sounds really complicated.....??? :confused: COuld you explain a wee bit more?

Thucydides
08-11-2005, 11:14 AM
Please expatiate somewhat, I feel uncertain whether to bash your head in or to stroke your curls (supposing you have any).

Most definitely the latter. :p

Thucydides
08-11-2005, 11:20 AM
I'll give in to my lenient temper, then... how was your day? I'm shattered, gonna fix myself an energy drink...

good, good, I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of it.

I gotta go though - dinner is served/

jennie
08-11-2005, 11:24 AM
I'll give in to my lenient temper, then... how was your day? I'm shattered, gonna fix myself an energy drink...
I didn't mean to offend you, so there will be no bashing. What exactly do you need ,me to explain? Safety meeting!!!!!!!!!!

sKratch
08-11-2005, 11:29 AM
Wait, isn't it proper to use the spelling "ten" in this situation, rather than the numeral?
Ehhh... not quite. There was no period after the correction.

JohnnyNemesis
08-11-2005, 11:30 AM
Ehhh... not quite. There was no period after the correction.


Makes no difference...the spelling was in order in this case, not the numeral.

sKratch
08-11-2005, 11:31 AM
Why do you say that? I'm under the impression that numbers don't need to be spelled out unless they are at the beginning of a sentence. Of course there are some stylistic choices, but I don't know any of them to be mandatory.

TheUnholyNightbringer
08-11-2005, 11:33 AM
Why do you say that? I'm under the impression that numbers don't need to be spelled out unless they are at the beginning of a sentence. Of course there are some stylistic choices, but I don't know any of them to be mandatory.

I learned that in a sentence not referring to numerals etc, the word should be spelled out. But I could be wrong, of course.

RXP
08-11-2005, 11:36 AM
What makes me insane?? yes i'm real & have had some sex. Not as often as like but I'm working on it, and waiting for him to get his head out of his ass and call me

we sld hook up lol.

jennie
08-11-2005, 11:42 AM
Hey all u pansieis out there who get irritated at grammer/spelling, then become an asshole and put someone down, REALLY NEED A SAFETY MEETING and to get a girlfriend/boyfriend what ever you're into, none of my business and it's my opinion you're only irate becuase you have too much time on your hands which proves that u need quality sex. ( My tone of voice was light, loving and joking)
What "ten" are u talking about? five by five?

sKratch
08-11-2005, 11:45 AM
What in the wild fuck...

TheUnholyNightbringer
08-11-2005, 11:45 AM
Hey all u pansieis out there who get irritated at grammer/spelling, then become an asshole and put someone down, REALLY NEED A SAFETY MEETING and to get a girlfriend/boyfriend what ever you're into, none of my business and it's my opinion you're only irate becuase you have too much time on your hands which proves that u need quality sex. ( My tone of voice was light, loving and joking)
What "ten" are u talking about? five by five?

Says the one who's twiddling her thumbs waiting for some guy to call her?

jennie
08-11-2005, 11:46 AM
we sld hook up lol.
RXP it's a little more than just in & out motion, rythm, pressure, timing enjoyment level, what your are thoughts while fucking?

RXP
08-11-2005, 11:47 AM
I usually think "I'd rather be getting blown off" or "I'm gonna get catabolic and lose my muscle gains".

What can I do to solve the problem? I just like blowjobs over sex too much.

jennie
08-11-2005, 11:49 AM
who has time to wait, life goes on. he doesn't want to call it's his loss. but yes i do hope he calls.

Maria your cool, we need to go shopping.. Thank you for the love!!!!!

Tizzalicious
08-11-2005, 11:50 AM
I learned that in a sentence not referring to numerals etc, the word should be spelled out. But I could be wrong, of course.

I believe it should be spelled out if it's a short number, like in this case. If it would have been 19494435, it shouldn't have been. It was in my studybooks sometime ago, but I forgot the exact rule. It was different in Dutch and English too. Confusing.

JohnnyNemesis
08-11-2005, 11:50 AM
You know how people who talk about sex a lot in a condescending or bragadocious tone are usually pathetic virgins or people who had sex once and all of a sudden consider themselves experts?

Yeah. I hate those people.

jennie
08-11-2005, 11:53 AM
I usually think "I'd rather be getting blown off" or "I'm gonna get catabolic and lose my muscle gains".

What can I do to solve the problem? I just like blowjobs over sex too much.
why? between her legs is a lot tighter wetter and more fitting. Have u ever had a girl rock your world? Feel the orgasm ripple thru your body from head to toe! If not then you have a goal, a mission form god.

RXP
08-11-2005, 11:55 AM
why? between her legs is a lot tighter wetter and more fitting. Have u ever had a girl rock your world? Feel the orgasm ripple thru your body from head to toe! If not then you have a goal, a mission form god.

I like it when she gets teh load in her mouth, you can't get that with sexs.

Tizzalicious
08-11-2005, 11:56 AM
why? between her legs is a lot tighter wetter and more fitting. Have u ever had a girl rock your world? Feel the orgasm ripple thru your body from head to toe! If not then you have a goal, a mission form god.

are you a guy? do you know what a blowjob feels like?

TheUnholyNightbringer
08-11-2005, 11:57 AM
why? between her legs is a lot tighter wetter and more fitting. Have u ever had a girl rock your world? Feel the orgasm ripple thru your body from head to toe! If not then you have a goal, a mission form god.

Whaat teh fuck?

RXP
08-11-2005, 11:59 AM
Jennie must have a dry mouth :-(

Tizzalicious
08-11-2005, 11:59 AM
Or she just gives bad head?

RXP
08-11-2005, 12:00 PM
She is a vaginal sex expert, you can't expect her to know everything.

Tizzalicious
08-11-2005, 12:03 PM
True true.

And of course it's better to focus on one aspect of sex. (???????????????)

Paint_It_Black
08-11-2005, 02:35 PM
I like it when she gets teh load in her mouth, you can't get that with sexs.

Sure you can, just whip it out and stick it in her mouth at the end.

JoY
08-11-2005, 02:37 PM
Oh man, this thread is classic.
& MY idea.

pfff.

;p

RXP
08-11-2005, 04:26 PM
Sure you can, just whip it out and stick it in her mouth at the end.

But I don't like the sexs cause it's not the mouth.

Vera
08-11-2005, 05:27 PM
Feel the orgasm ripple thru your body from head to toe! If not then you have a goal, a mission form god.
She's like a badly-spelling, NC-17 rated Duskygrin.

Thucydides
08-11-2005, 05:36 PM
She's like a badly-spelling, NC-17 rated Duskygrin.

What's NC-17?

SkunkIt
08-11-2005, 05:42 PM
She's like a badly-spelling, NC-17 rated Duskygrin.
I shall call her, Maria ii.

Paint_It_Black
08-11-2005, 05:49 PM
What's NC-17?

Used to be 'X' rated but they changed it, in the US anyway, because it had such a stigma attached to it. Not that it makes any difference. It still means strong sexual content. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back was nearly slapped with an NC-17 just for dialogue...in a movie with no nudity and no realistic violence. Another example that America needs to reavaluate its morality.

Thucydides
08-11-2005, 05:50 PM
ah, ok cheers.

Jay and Silent Bob strike back is an 18 over here though.

Paint_It_Black
08-11-2005, 05:53 PM
Yeah, it's R rated here, which is the equivalent. I think the English rating system is a much better one. That movie should be a 15.

jennie
08-11-2005, 10:36 PM
Just an observation
There are some really cool, funny, intelligent souls here and then there are some Jason Lee & Jay wannabee's that have some issues. (jay as in Jay & silent Bob)(for clairity purposes Jason Lee, Jay & silent Bob are part the cool people) Still unclear if the wannabees are aware of how they sound or if they really are that fucked up. I am thankful though for the wannabes and all of the entertainment, laughter, smiles & reminders they give me.
When someone asks me a question I give an honest answer, sometimes it's divine wisdom, sometimes it's my opinion from experience and the things I hear.
Just a thought, we all will get along alot better if you stop labeling me and confusing me with other people.
Where is the Love" Blach Eyed Peas

Sin Studly
08-11-2005, 11:27 PM
You do realise we're only asking you questions because you're quite obviously batshit insane and your retarded answers amuse the shit out of us?

jennie
08-12-2005, 12:00 AM
[QUOTE=Sin Studly]You do realise we're only asking you questions because you're quite obviously batshit insane and your retarded answers amuse the shit out of us?
Now that's funny, I'll remeber that. In reality you guys are the joke, and I'm always laughing at you.
It's so appaertly clear you and RXP have never been in love, and are exteremely scared of it, but yet your soul screams the loudest I need love.

RXP
08-12-2005, 02:03 AM
I've been in love like 3 times. One time it was with Xena the warrior princess.

The second time it was this chick in high school but t'was all the one way.

And the mots recent time it was for real except she didn't feel the same I don't think and nor did I really. I was just confuzzled. But I'll buy a dog and love him.

Sin Studly
08-12-2005, 02:06 AM
I'll buy thirty cats and give unsolicited sex advice out over the internet, that should quench my thirst for love.

RXP
08-12-2005, 02:07 AM
I know a girl who goes to sleep with her dogs at night, holding 'em.

Sin Studly
08-12-2005, 02:09 AM
Dogs > People.

RXP
08-12-2005, 02:13 AM
I think our cuddling 'fetish' could be satisfied with a dog.

Why aren't you on MSN?

Sin Studly
08-12-2005, 02:40 AM
Had to restart the compy.

Vera
08-12-2005, 04:37 AM
Jennie, how often does God masturbate?

RXP
08-12-2005, 05:57 AM
That's a sick thought. Is nothing sacred to you?

Vera
08-12-2005, 07:17 AM
She posted some religious nutjob shit in Your Band so I was wondering if she has an opinion on this issue.

Sin Studly
08-12-2005, 10:01 AM
I bet Satan masturbates more than God.

RXP
08-12-2005, 10:03 AM
That's only cuz God gets more pussy so he don't need to.

MichealCorleone
08-12-2005, 10:12 AM
That's only cuz God gets more pussy so he don't need to.

* 'cause, doesn't

JohnnyNemesis
08-12-2005, 10:44 AM
Now that's funny, I'll remeber that. In reality you guys are the joke, and I'm always laughing at you.
It's so appaertly clear you and RXP have never been in love, and are exteremely scared of it, but yet your soul screams the loudest I need love.

.....................


You know how people who talk about sex a lot in a condescending or bragadocious tone are usually pathetic virgins or people who had sex once and all of a sudden consider themselves experts?

Yeah. I hate those people.

Sin Studly
08-12-2005, 10:50 AM
Satan would get loads more pussy, but still jerk off more than God.