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Sk8nstu_01
08-28-2005, 07:35 AM
has anyone got any good jokes? if so please tell. i am bored

RXP
08-28-2005, 07:39 AM
Q) What does speed equal?
A) Distance/Time

the_GoDdEsS
08-28-2005, 07:45 AM
The British are all faggotted and they can't spell. You're a joke. Fin.

offspring fan
08-28-2005, 07:47 AM
hmmmmmmmmm i dont know enny english jokes. bu some norwegian :)

Sk8nstu_01
08-28-2005, 07:50 AM
:D
The British are all faggotted and they can't spell. You're a joke. Fin.

I'd like to take this opportunity to point out I am, in fact, not actually British and merely reside in this country.
Also "faggotted" is not a real word and perhaps the only reason you can spell is because you make up your own little words
you're a fool.

platinumpt
08-28-2005, 07:55 AM
:D

I'd like to take this opportunity to point out I am, in fact, not actually British and merely reside in this country.
Also "faggotted" is not a real word and perhaps the only reason you can spell is because you make up your own little words
you're a fool.
Don't worry, that's the only insult in english she knows. Surely.

EDIT: I'll try my best in this one:

conversation between hydrogen atom and helium atom

Hydrogen Atom-Shit, OMG I've lost an electron.
Helium Atom-Dude, are you sure??
Hydrogen Atom-Yeah, I'm positive.

That was bad. HaHA

Sk8nstu_01
08-28-2005, 07:59 AM
yeah, exactly, she sed stuff to me before aswell

offspring fan
08-28-2005, 08:00 AM
san andreas is cool

Nirushika6789
08-28-2005, 08:01 AM
conversation between hydrogen atom and helium atom

Hydrogen Atom-Shit, OMG I've lost an electron.
Helium Atom-Dude, are you sure??
Hydrogen Atom-Yeah, I'm positive.

That was bad. HaHA
i was kind of confused with the atoms and everything but the joke isnt too bad.....:D

Nirushika6789
08-28-2005, 08:02 AM
The British are all faggotted and they can't spell. You're a joke. Fin.
i see...so now you are copying Sin_studly's insults

please...if you are going to insult someone use ur own insults and dont copy someone elses...

Nirushika6789
08-28-2005, 08:02 AM
san andreas is cool
yea it is but thats off topic

offspring fan
08-28-2005, 08:04 AM
i just finished the game last week. the last misson was hard.

the_GoDdEsS
08-28-2005, 08:06 AM
:D

I'd like to take this opportunity to point out I am, in fact, not actually British and merely reside in this country.
Also "faggotted" is not a real word and perhaps the only reason you can spell is because you make up your own little words
you're a fool.

Hahaha, you fell for the joke, you joke.

Nirushika6789
08-28-2005, 08:08 AM
Hahaha, you fell for the joke, you joke.
its not a very good joke and it isnt even your joke....sin_studly started that whole ' british' thing

Sk8nstu_01
08-28-2005, 08:08 AM
sure.............

~*hit_that*~
08-28-2005, 08:41 AM
Doctors have recently revealed that performance-enhancing sex pills will soon be available in liquid form. They'll be sold under the name 'mydixadud'. So it will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.

A man dies and goes to heaven. He sees a huge wall of clocks behin St.Peter and asks 'What are those for?'. St.Peter replies 'Those are lie clocks. Each time you lie, the hands on your clock move.' 'Oh' says the man. 'Whose lie clock is that one?' 'Thats mother Theresa's', St.Peter replies. 'The hands never move because she never told a lie.' 'Incredible' says the man, 'whose is that one?' 'Abraham Lincoln's', St Peter replies. 'The hands only moved twice. He only told two lies in his whole life'. 'Wow' says the man. 'So where are George W Bush and Tony Blair's clocks?' 'They're in Jesus' office', St.Peter replies. 'He's using them as ceiling fans'.

A jelly baby walks into a bar and starts talking to a smartie. After a few beers the smartie says 'A bunch of us are heading to that new club. Fancy tagging along?' 'No thanks' the Jelly Baby replies. 'I'm a soft-centre - I always end up getting my head kicked in'. 'Don't worry,' the smartie assures him. 'I'm a bit of a hard case. I'll look after you'. 'OK!' grins the Jelly Baby. So they head to the club. After a few beers, three lockets walk in. They take one look at the Jelly Baby and start beating him up, then walk off laughing. 'I thought you were going to look after me!' gasps the Jelly Baby, rubbing his bruises. 'I was' replies the smartie. 'But those lockets are flipping menthol'.

Nirushika6789
08-28-2005, 08:44 AM
A man dies and goes to heaven. He sees a huge wall of clocks behin St.Peter and asks 'What are those for?'. St.Peter replies 'Those are lie clocks. Each time you lie, the hands on your clock move.' 'Oh' says the man. 'Whose lie clock is that one?' 'Thats mother Theresa's', St.Peter replies. 'The hands never move because she never told a lie.' 'Incredible' says the man, 'whose is that one?' 'Abraham Lincoln's', St Peter replies. 'The hands only moved twice. He only told two lies in his whole life'. 'Wow' says the man. 'So where are George W Bush and Tony Blair's clocks?' 'They're in Jesus' office', St.Peter replies. 'He's using them as ceiling fans'.

A jelly baby walks into a bar and starts talking to a smartie. After a few beers the smartie says 'A bunch of us are heading to that new club. Fancy tagging along?' 'No thanks' the Jelly Baby replies. 'I'm a soft-centre - I always end up getting my head kicked in'. 'Don't worry,' the smartie assures him. 'I'm a bit of a hard case. I'll look after you'. 'OK!' grins the Jelly Baby. So they head to the club. After a few beers, three lockets walk in. They take one look at the Jelly Baby and start beating him up, then walk off laughing. 'I thought you were going to look after me!' gasps the Jelly Baby, rubbing his bruises. 'I was' replies the smartie. 'But those lockets are flipping menthol'.[/B]

those 2 are good...i didnt really think the first one was but still////i like the second two better

~*hit_that*~
08-28-2005, 08:55 AM
those 2 are good...i didnt really think the first one was but still////i like the second two better

lol, yeah :)

Punky Dudess
08-28-2005, 09:24 AM
why did the hedgehog cross the road?

to show his friend he had guts.

Thucydides
08-28-2005, 09:30 AM
Why did Hitler kill himself?
He got the gas bill.


Why do niggers have white hands?
Everyone has some good in them.


Why did the Jews walk around the desert for 40 years?
They thought that someone had dropped a quarter

Isolated Fury
08-28-2005, 09:33 AM
What's more fun than spinning a dead baby around a tetherball pole at 50 mph?

Stopping it with a shovel.

Turbonegro
08-28-2005, 09:56 AM
What do you call a bird that doesn't eat?
A polynomial.

offspring fan
08-28-2005, 09:58 AM
HEY! you like turbonegro!
:D

Punky Dudess
08-28-2005, 10:03 AM
what do you get when you cross michael jackson with arnold schwarzenegger?

Michael Wazanigger

The Darkside Has Cookies
08-28-2005, 10:53 AM
Not a joke but a sadistic poem:

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Sugar is sweet
And so are you


The roses are rotting
The violets are dead
The suger is gone
And so is your head

0r4ng3
08-28-2005, 11:13 AM
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Doorbell repair service.

HAR HAR...oh, fuck it.

The Darkside Has Cookies
08-28-2005, 11:25 AM
knock knock!
whos there?
Ive come to bang
Ive come to bang who?
No I came to bang not you.

Drummerguy123
08-28-2005, 11:35 AM
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Doorbell repair service.

HAR HAR...oh, fuck it.


HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! That was the worst joke ever.


Okay here's one I heard on Comedy Central.

"Have you noticed how President Bush always referres to Fidel Castro an 'Mr. Castro' but never recognises him as president? Well, on the other side do you know what Fidel Castro calls Bush? 'Pendejo jr.'"

HAHAHAHAH!!!! Aren't I horrible?

The Darkside Has Cookies
08-28-2005, 11:38 AM
FOR THE LADIES:

How do you know when your pizza boy is a drummer?


He bangs you real hard and doesn't know when to cum.