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View Full Version : I have decided to become a whore.



Paint_It_Black
09-26-2005, 11:39 AM
Finally, frustration over my lack of money has pushed me to do something extreme. This has to be the best idea I've ever had. It's so simple! You all post how much you'd pay for a night with me, then after a suitable period of time has passed the highest bidder wins! And remember, it's not immoral because it's for a good cause. Good luck everyone, this is guaranteed to be a tough fight.

voodoomagik
09-26-2005, 11:49 AM
picture first, you whore...

Paint_It_Black
09-26-2005, 11:51 AM
Hell no, I'm not a cam-whore. I have some standards you know.

voodoomagik
09-26-2005, 11:52 AM
Hell no, I'm not a cam-whore. I have some standards you know.

i bet you do...still, i have to know what i'm buying

offspringrammsteinfan
09-26-2005, 11:54 AM
Finally, frustration over my lack of money has pushed me to do something extreme. This has to be the best idea I've ever had. It's so simple! You all post how much you'd pay for a night with me, then after a suitable period of time has passed the highest bidder wins! And remember, it's not immoral because it's for a good cause. Good luck everyone, this is guaranteed to be a tough fight.

Post an picture first whore! I want to know what i fuck.

Paint_It_Black
09-26-2005, 11:56 AM
Suddenly I feel very creeped out.

Tijs
09-26-2005, 11:59 AM
I'll start bidding at €25,-

offspringrammsteinfan
09-26-2005, 12:00 PM
I'll bid E0,10, but if you post an picture that price can always become higher

Nina
09-26-2005, 12:04 PM
No among of money can express my feelings for you, baby.
Sexual flavours all the way!

wheelchairman
09-26-2005, 12:05 PM
Well a picture would be nice,
30.

The Darkside Has Cookies
09-26-2005, 12:06 PM
Hey I'll see you on the sidewalk. I'll show you my rope,I mean the ropes. My penis is like a rope though. I caught a burglar with it once.

Paint_It_Black
09-26-2005, 12:10 PM
Well a picture would be nice,
30.

I'm trying to bring back a sense of adventure and surprise. Think of me as the mystery box.


No among of money can express my feelings for you, baby.
Sexual flavours all the way!

Sexual flavours? That may have been a typo but I love it.

Stop being cheap! Feelings don't pay my bills, dammit.

Nina
09-26-2005, 12:29 PM
HAHAHA. favours.
And.... but...but...but...love can be such a beautiful thing! It will be all you need! Who needs money when you can have sex. and love. and loads of sex.

wheelchairman
09-26-2005, 12:31 PM
I'm trying to bring back a sense of adventure and surprise. Think of me as the mystery box.


man, the mystery box is *never* as good as the alternative. Have you never seen the Price is Right?

Well that would be hard if you live in the UK I suppose. Although, with that in consideration I withdraw my bid.

offspringrammsteinfan
09-26-2005, 12:32 PM
I'm trying to bring back a sense of adventure and surprise. Think of me as the mystery box.



Sexual flavours? That may have been a typo but I love it.

Stop being cheap! Feelings don't pay my bills, dammit.

If you care so much about money, fucking post an picture of you.

If you look good I might bid E900,- :p

ninthlayer
09-26-2005, 12:34 PM
If anyone should be whoring themselves out for money it's me.

wheelchairman
09-26-2005, 12:36 PM
If anyone should be whoring themselves out for money it's me.
Your job pays a guy well for technically doing nothing.

ninthlayer
09-26-2005, 12:38 PM
Your job pays a guy well for technically doing nothing.
You mean for sleeping, eating, reading, leaving work early, and playing video games.

wheelchairman
09-26-2005, 12:42 PM
oh my bad. And don't forget, should any shit go down, you'll pretty much just hide and call the cops.

Tizzalicious
09-26-2005, 12:53 PM
Haha...I love Nina's sexual flavours <3

Vera
09-26-2005, 01:02 PM
£2.

It's much more in euros, I swears!

offspringrammsteinfan
09-26-2005, 01:11 PM
£2.

It's much more in euros, I swears!

I guess it's indeed more than my bid (E0,10) as long as she's not going to post an pic. I'm not going to bid higher. :p

Tijs
09-26-2005, 01:42 PM
W-w-what? Paint_It_Black is a she? I always thought she's a he.

€40.

wheelchairman
09-26-2005, 01:51 PM
W-w-what? Paint_It_Black is a she? I always thought she's a he.

€40.

Paint it black is a girl? omg that's so hawt....

killer_queen
09-26-2005, 02:42 PM
W-w-what? Paint_It_Black is a she? I always thought she's a he.

€40.
I don't think he's a she. He doesn't sound like a girl.

Nina
09-26-2005, 02:45 PM
If PIB was female I'd have hot lesbian sex with her.
Too bad?

Preocupado
09-26-2005, 02:50 PM
Hm? Paint in Black is a he or a she?

Sinister
09-26-2005, 02:58 PM
I don't want sex with PIB. not even for free, not even if I get paid for it.

offspringrammsteinfan
09-26-2005, 03:01 PM
I don't want to fuck with an man so is "it" an he or an she?

TheUnholyNightbringer
09-26-2005, 03:30 PM
Could I book a week? *flutters eyelashes*

Paint_It_Black
09-27-2005, 12:55 PM
man, the mystery box is *never* as good as the alternative. Have you never seen the Price is Right?

Well that would be hard if you live in the UK I suppose. Although, with that in consideration I withdraw my bid.

I think we had it in the UK, or something similar, but I have trouble keeping my memories accurate. I've actually been living in Kansas the last 5 years, but I lived the first 18 in England.


Haha...I love Nina's sexual flavours <3

They're mine, back off.


Paint it black is a girl? omg that's so hawt....

I'm a girl? That is hawt...


If PIB was female I'd have hot lesbian sex with her.
Too bad?

Well, I've never considered it before (honestly, I swear!) but there are surgical techniques available...


I don't want to fuck with an man so is "it" an he or an she?
Your comments have almost made me regret starting this.


I don't want sex with PIB. not even for free, not even if I get paid for it.

Since you have such strong feelings, it's odd I have no idea who you are.



Could I book a week? *flutters eyelashes*

Absolutely, we just have to settle the trifling matter of your bid first.

Ha, I'm doing pretty damn well in the poll. Oh how I wish I could make it public now.

voodoomagik
09-27-2005, 01:06 PM
he's a she? hahha..then i'm not interested anymore

Paint_It_Black
09-27-2005, 01:08 PM
For fuck sake, I'm male. I thought it was obvious.

offspringrammsteinfan
09-27-2005, 01:10 PM
For fuck sake, I'm male. I thought it was obvious.

it wasn't. But uhm can I get my money back so I can start with bidding on someone elses virginity.

Paint_It_Black
09-27-2005, 01:21 PM
No, my ass is virginal, and bids are final.

Auction ends in 24 hours! Looks like Tijs is winning...

offspringrammsteinfan
09-27-2005, 01:24 PM
No, my ass is virginal, and bids are final.

Auction ends in 24 hours! Looks like Tijs is winning...

Thanks god, I'm so fuckin' glad I didn't bid more than E0,10.

voodoomagik
09-27-2005, 01:26 PM
For fuck sake, I'm male. I thought it was obvious.
ok 50 euro

Paint_It_Black
09-27-2005, 02:55 PM
i stick mountain dew cans on my pee peee

So what are you, coke_a_holic's arch nemesis or something?


ok 50 euro

Nicely done. Aren't you also male though? Not that I care as long as your money's good.

0r4ng3
09-27-2005, 02:59 PM
So what are you, coke_a_holic's arch nemesis or something?
I thought I was coke_a_holic's nemesis!


*cutes vains, drinks sunkist*

Paint_It_Black
09-27-2005, 03:04 PM
Perhaps, but I said arch nemesis.

dalaksta
09-27-2005, 03:06 PM
r u hot and r u a girl because if you were i would have definatly voted YES!

Paint_It_Black
09-27-2005, 03:07 PM
then yes i am definatly a girl lol

Megs
09-27-2005, 03:36 PM
but are you hot?

Paint_It_Black
09-27-2005, 03:39 PM
like the sun baby, like the sun

Megs
09-27-2005, 03:41 PM
shit, that's hot

jackass
09-27-2005, 03:45 PM
I bet she's actually really ugly. Whore.

ninthlayer
09-27-2005, 03:48 PM
I bet she's actually really ugly. Whore.
Fucking classic, actually read the thread next time faggot.

Offspring7
09-27-2005, 03:49 PM
can i see a picture of what i'm bidding on first?

bd007h
09-27-2005, 03:51 PM
I thought whores did it for free. Prostitutes are the ones you have to pay.

Paint_It_Black
09-28-2005, 12:28 PM
The word "whore" is a synonym for "prostitute". Perhaps you were thinking of "slut".

Tijs
09-28-2005, 04:39 PM
Auction ends in 24 hours! Looks like Tijs is winning...

ok 50 euro

55.

(I lost another auction, so I got some spare cash).

bd007h
09-28-2005, 04:40 PM
The word "whore" is a synonym for "prostitute". Perhaps you were thinking of "slut".

yeah, probably.

voodoomagik
09-29-2005, 02:40 AM
55.

(I lost another auction, so I got some spare cash).

60.

you will lose this one too....but you will definetly have enough money to win your 3rd!

Paint_It_Black
09-29-2005, 06:40 AM
Voodoomajik wins! Sorry Tijs, maybe next time?

Now, voodoomajik, all you need to do is send me a plane ticket to Romania.

Maria, why did you think that a small thing like falling in love would prevent me from whoring myself out? This is business.

Your love brings me such a thrill
But your love won't pay my bills
I want money

Money don't get everything it's true
What it don't get I can't use
I want money

Tijs
09-29-2005, 07:38 AM
Pfft, I can get someone better than you anyway.

Paint_It_Black
09-29-2005, 07:41 AM
Yeah, but not for that price.

voodoomagik
10-04-2005, 02:43 PM
i won? oh yeah! get your sweet ass(i hope) over here!

the_offsprings_monkey
10-04-2005, 04:35 PM
Fuck that i think s/he should pay to fuck me

Al Coholic
12-29-2011, 03:26 PM
Sixty-One.

Tijs
12-29-2011, 05:51 PM
Yeah, but not for that price. Touché .

Llamas
12-29-2011, 06:03 PM
Wow, this thread was amazing. That one guy was super extra creepy, though... sorry you lost the auction, Tijs... I'm sure you're still kicking yourself over that one!

So, voodoomagik, how was it?

BagOfShenanigans
12-29-2011, 06:43 PM
I don't even know what to think of these threads.

KickHimWhenHe'sDown
12-30-2011, 04:41 PM
I don't even know what to think of these threads.

I couldn't agree more. Auctioning of whores? Is this allowed under the forum guidelines?

Free?
01-01-2012, 03:42 AM
The poll results are flattering.

KickHimWhenHe'sDown
01-01-2012, 05:00 PM
The poll results are flattering.

That took me a second, and then I burst out laughing.

Tijs
01-01-2012, 06:05 PM
That took me a second, and then I burst out laughing.After reading this, I got it. Ha!

Paint_It_Black
01-08-2012, 11:57 AM
The poll results are flattering.

The best joke ever told in the category of jokes that took holy shit seven years to tell.

Edit: Al, what actually led you to this thread? All I can feasibly come up with is a genuine and legitimate desire to jump my bones.