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View Full Version : Sin Studly teaches you all how to drink like MEN



Sin Studly
10-21-2005, 05:52 PM
Okay, I'm sick of you faggots drinking like idiot pansy girls. So I'm going to teach you how you're supposed to drink like men of class, like gentlemen, like refined men of impeccable taste. Here goes.

Absinthe

I'm sure you all know how to drink absinthe. Soak a sugar cube in it, place a knife over the glass. Set the soaked sugar cube on the knife, and light it on fire. When the fire goes out and sugar is semi-caramelised, you drop it into the absinthe and crush it up. Then you add about two parts water to your one part absinthe. That is how you drink absinthe. Shotting and drinking straight from the bottle is uncouth (but hell, do it anyway)

Oyso

Oyso is one of the strong liquers that can be drunk straight, at room temperature. Never chill it. It's delicious straight from the bottle, or neat. If you must mix, mix it with coke.

Scotch Whiskey

Three main types ; bar, blended, and single malt. Single malt (Johnny Walker Blue Label, Chivas Regal, etc) should always be drunk neat. Slightly above room temperature, so you'll need to put it in a glass and warm it with the heat of your hand. Blended (Johnny Walker Black Label, etc) can be drunk neat, but isn't always good enough. It's fine over the rocks, and it's excellent in whiskey sours (add a squeeze of lemon juice, and a twist of rind if you have it handy). Bar scotch (Famous Grouse, Black Douglas, etc.) is usually shit, and if it's not good enough to drink over rocks, it should be mixed with dry ginger ale, coke or black coffee in the morning. If you like sugar in your coffee, add as much as you normally would. It can also be shotted in boilermakers. Nothing but bar scotch should ever be shotted. Note that scotch and water is a disgusting and unrefined choice.

Bourbon Whiskey

Three or four main types, I forget them all. Tennessee, Kentucky, a couple others. It doesn't really matter, cause it's a question of taste, not quality, as is the case with scotches. Decent bourbons should be sipped neat, less than decent should be drunk over rocks. Shit bourbon should be mixed with dry ginger or coke. If you add bourbon to black coffee, put in about half the amount of sugar you'd normally add.

Other Whiskeys

Jamesons and Canadian Club are smooth, and okay tasting. Drink them neat. Any other whiskeys should be drunk over ice, or mixed. Note that none of them are as sweet as bourbon, so if you make coffee with them, add as much sugar as you normally would.

Southern Comfort

No. Under no circumstances. Ever.

Tequila

Dark tequilas like Jose Cuervo are best, but light tequilas like Coyote are also acceptable. Note that tequila only has two purposes. Getting you drunk, and giving you the excuse to do body shots with an attractive member of the opposite sex. Tequila should be shotted in boilermakers, or in lick-sip-sucks (lick your wrist, pour salt on it, lick the salt, drink the shot, bite into a wedge of lemon or lime and suck). To do a body shot, the salt goes on the neck or breastline of the attractive member of the opposite sex. They hold the wedge between their teeth for you to bite it. There is also the tequila slammer, which is the same as a lip-sick-suck, but you add the slightest bit of carbonated beverage (usually lemonade) to the shot. You then cover the shot and slam it down on the table, causing it to fizz. This increases the time it takes to absorb into your bloodstream, and gets you wasted quicker. If you drink slammers with a straw, it's called a "Sudden Death". Most bars will refuse to serve you this way, as they know from bitter experience what it does to human beings. Tequila doesn't mix well with anything except coffee, and you'll find yourself having to add extra salt, to counteract the saltiness of tequila. Tequila sunrises are an abomination.

Vodka

Unfortunately, vodka is the favoured drink of pansy tards who hate the taste of alcohol. This is because it mixes with anything. This does not mean it's not sophisticated and refined to drink vodka straight. It should never be drunk at room temperature, this is what alcoholics and retards do. Nor should it be drunk over rocks, chill your vodka in the fridge (not freezer), and drink neat. Vodka martinis (despite what you may have seen in the 007 movies) are not sophisticated or refined, they are what cretins drink. Avoid vodka martinis. If you have vodka so bad it simply must be mixed, the best vodka mixer is one shot of vodka, two shots of lime cordial, a dash of Angastora bitters, then fill the glass up with lemonade. Of course, vodka mixes with everything.

Gin

Gin is the drink of the truly refined and sophisticated man. It should be drunk chilled and neat, with a dash of quinine powder or a twist of lemon/lime rind if one so desires. It's also excellent in martinis, the sophisticated man only drinks extra dry martinis, with olive or lemon rind. Cocktail onions are uncouth. If you must mix, you're best to go with bitter lemon (ie; carbonated lemon-based soda with added quinine powder). Gin and tonic is, despite what you may have heard, very uncouth and unsophisticated. It's a bitch whore drink. Gin and juice is just as bad, and has gotten even worse since the Snoop Dogg song.

Brandy

Naturally, you'll want to go for cognac or amignac. Brandy should ideally be served in a snifter, but it's not neccessary. The reason for it is to spread the heat from ones hand and totally encompass as much of the drink as possible, as you'll want to drink it slightly above room temperature. Even common brandies are acceptable drunk like this. If you must mix brandy, never mix with coke, use something that isn't sweet, like dry ginger ale. Brandy Alexanders are an abomination. Plum brandies such as slijvovice, slivovica and slivovitz are unsophisticated alcoholics drinks, suitable only for shotting in boilermakers.

Rum

Go for dark. Light rum is a bitches choice. Overproof rum, like Bacardi 151 is excellent for shotting in boilermakers, but not much else. For regular rum, you'll probably want to add a little lemon juice, or lemon rind. If not, you really don't want to be drinking it straight. Mix with something like dry ginger, to avoid the excessive sweetness coke or similar carbonated beverages will bring. Don't mix with juice. If you add rum to black coffee (which is quite delicious), forgo any sugar you'd normally put in.

the_GoDdEsS
10-21-2005, 06:01 PM
Useful guide. I used to teach the sugar/spoon/fire thing to friends.


Shotting and drinking straight from the bottle is uncouth (but hell, do it anyway)


Aww, does that make me so uncouth?

I either shot things, slam, drink straight or drink from the bottle. Because I'm such a filthy Slav.

JoY
10-21-2005, 06:02 PM
ever since the meet-up, I can't help but drink Absinthe straight like it's no one's business.

JoY
10-21-2005, 06:03 PM
I either shot things, slam, drink straight or drink from the bottle. Because I'm such a filthy Slav.
I do so, because I'm a lazy alcoholic.

we really have -so- much in common! *gasp*

Sin Studly
10-21-2005, 06:04 PM
Absinthe straight is uncouth, yet acceptable. Everything else I call uncouth is not acceptable, and would get you kicked out of the Gentlemans League (assuming I ran it).

Little_Miss_1565
10-21-2005, 06:24 PM
You forgot to mention how margaritas mean warmth and sunshine.

Margaritas also mean that I am drinking margaritas *all day long* for my 21st birthday on Monday.

neocon58
10-21-2005, 06:32 PM
Southern Comfort

No. Under no circumstances. Ever.

Well blow me down.

Tizzalicious
10-21-2005, 06:44 PM
Oyso tastes terrible. The same as absinthe basically. I'm a man more in favor of the darker liquors, Ballantine's Scotch, or Havana Club dark rum for example.

JoY
10-21-2005, 06:46 PM
THE SAME AS ABSINTHE??!

have you ever even -had- the stuff, love?

& you forgot to sign with Per.

Sunny
10-21-2005, 06:46 PM
i drink like a pussy bitch and i'm god damned proud of it. but i do have to agree that Jose Cuervo is the BEST kind of tequila.

and don't get me started on people (person..) doing body shots off of me. hottest thing ever. rar.

Nicole
10-21-2005, 06:51 PM
I thought it was one part water to one part absinthe.

I would quite happily drink my alcohol like a man but I hate being drunk these days. So mixers it is.

JoY
10-21-2005, 07:19 PM
I was talking about Ouzo. not Absinthe. (or however you want to spell it) I don't recall Ouzo being that strong, alcoholic-wise. & I don't recall Ouzo being that weak, anice-tasting-wise. the only thing they seem to have in common is a certain alcoholpercentage & the taste of anice.

Tizz, you know dropshots, right? I seem to remember you hate them.
wah, I love those so fucking much. they're like Ouzo, but better, sweeter, licoricer. <3

Sin Studly
10-21-2005, 10:14 PM
If you can't tell the difference between oyso and absinthe, you're an anise-bitch and have no right to be discussing the taste of either.

Paint_It_Black
10-22-2005, 07:30 AM
I'm going to teach you how you're supposed to drink like men of class, like gentlemen, like refined men of impeccable taste.

Fuck all that. Alcohol serves one purpose. No matter how pretentious you make it, you're still just getting wasted. Which sounds like a good idea, come to think of it. I think I will.

Slim Pickens The Bomb Rider
10-22-2005, 07:43 AM
Yes that's true. Call me a pussy but i always drink vodka with redbull, or just beer and sometimes whisky cola ;)

Paint_It_Black
10-22-2005, 07:51 AM
Aright, you pussy. Happy now?

Sin Studly
10-22-2005, 07:54 AM
Fuck all that. Alcohol serves one purpose. No matter how pretentious you make it, you're still just getting wasted. Which sounds like a good idea, come to think of it. I think I will.

Agreed, but adding pretention to intoxication is a great way to cultivate some instant arrogance and disdain for other people. But yeah, one day I'll make a thread teaching you all to get wasted like ghetto scum, how to best minimise the awful taste of dollar-wines, how to best combine benzodiazepams/opiates with booze, how to get the most bang for your buck, etc. (which I'm also an expert on).

Slim Pickens The Bomb Rider
10-22-2005, 07:54 AM
happiest man alive :rolleyes:

Paint_It_Black
10-22-2005, 08:06 AM
Let's be honest, that kind of advice would be far more useful. I already know how to be arrogant. But I've only dabbled in getting wasted like ghetto scum.

JoY
10-22-2005, 09:08 AM
If you can't tell the difference between oyso and absinthe, you're an anise-bitch and have no right to be discussing the taste of either.
SEE?! told you, Per. ;p you're a fake-ass alcie.

by the way, I remember having the exact same discussion with you in real life, drunk.

Sin Studly
10-22-2005, 09:29 AM
Let's be honest, that kind of advice would be far more useful. I already know how to be arrogant. But I've only dabbled in getting wasted like ghetto scum.

Take it to MSN.

the_GoDdEsS
10-22-2005, 09:35 AM
We all know Per does not like licorice.

JoY
10-22-2005, 09:39 AM
but still he compared absithe to licorice & he had absolutely no problems drinking that. =P

sKratch
10-22-2005, 10:50 AM
You forgot to mention how margaritas mean warmth and sunshine.

Margaritas also mean that I am drinking margaritas *all day long* for my 21st birthday on Monday.
!!!!!!!
NO WAY!

We have the same birthday but you're a year older.

memento
10-22-2005, 10:54 AM
I prefer to freeze vodka and have it with cordial. It saves on ice too.

Kerr
10-22-2005, 10:56 AM
I admit, I do like Smirnoff Ice, but the lemon flavour totally dowses the alcohol flavour and I find that extremely cheap. I much prefer whiskey (Joe Beans, Jack Daniels) and I don't just gulp it down in one, I drink it slowly. I actually enjoy the alcoholic taste.

Paint_It_Black
10-22-2005, 10:57 AM
Yeah, the price of ice these days is fucking ridiculous.

memento
10-22-2005, 10:57 AM
Jack is far too expensive to drink now. I only drink it when I'm out cause it's usually priced the same as the other spirts.

Paint_It_Black
10-22-2005, 10:58 AM
I admit, I do like Smirnoff Ice, but the lemon flavour totally dowses the alcohol flavour and I find that extremely cheap. I much prefer whiskey (Joe Beans, Jack Daniels) and I don't just gulp it down in one, I drink it slowly. I actually enjoy the alcoholic taste.

Yeah, but, you're posing. It's ok, I've been there. Eventually I switched from Jack Daniels to Ten High or anything else cheap, and now I drink straight from the bottle. Saves on glasses. This is your future.

Kerr
10-22-2005, 10:59 AM
Jack is far too expensive to drink now. I only drink it when I'm out cause it's usually priced the same as the other spirts.
The stuff served at the Loughborough Student Union isn't too bad - a double with a dash of coke cost me around 3 though - I don't know much about prices and what is considered expensive or cheap for alcohol as I don't buy it or watch people buy it in the shops.

Kerr
10-22-2005, 11:02 AM
Yeah, but, you're posing. It's ok, I've been there. Eventually I switched from Jack Daniels to Ten High or anything else cheap, and now I drink straight from the bottle. Saves on glasses. This is your future.
Is Ten High better tasting or stronger than a Jack Daniels? If so and it's cheap, they yeah, this IS my future.

Paint_It_Black
10-22-2005, 11:08 AM
It doesn't taste better. But I've become accustomed to it. And it's about 1/3 of the price. I'll drink any bourbon though. Actually, if I'm not buying, I'll drink anything at all.

Kerr
10-22-2005, 11:09 AM
It doesn't taste better. But I've become accustomed to it. And it's about 1/3 of the price. I'll drink any bourbon though. Actually, if I'm not buying, I'll drink anything at all.
Cheers for the recommendation, I'll consider drinking that.

memento
10-22-2005, 11:09 AM
if I'm not buying, I'll drink anything at all.
Cum?.......

Paint_It_Black
10-22-2005, 11:12 AM
Cum?.......

Welcome home my wayward son. You really are RXP afterall. Well, or Wishomie.

memento
10-22-2005, 11:13 AM
Wishomie is a legend. I love the guy. Even his purported 'spam' posts crack kme up.

Paint_It_Black
10-22-2005, 11:17 AM
I'm giving you one chance to take that back. For the old times. One chance.

memento
10-22-2005, 11:18 AM
The best was when he had that pic of himself in the avatar and when you read his posts and look at that pic it made you crack up so much.

He just needs to get laid, then he will be ok.

HornyPope
10-22-2005, 11:20 AM
Cognac remains the finest and my most favourite drink.

Paint_It_Black
10-22-2005, 11:20 AM
Are you offering to take one for the team?

Little_Miss_1565
10-22-2005, 12:53 PM
It doesn't taste better. But I've become accustomed to it. And it's about 1/3 of the price. I'll drink any bourbon though. Actually, if I'm not buying, I'll drink anything at all.

Wow. I've never seen anyone admit openly to drinking Ten High, let alone recommend it to others. Ten High is a spunkstain on the world of whiskey.

You want bourbon? MAKER'S FUCKING MARK. I hug my bottle every night before going to sleep.

Paint_It_Black
10-23-2005, 02:33 AM
It wasn't intended as a recommendation, he just chose to take it as one. I also shop regularly at Wal-mart and eat from the cheapest fast food places. It's simple necessity.

Betty
10-23-2005, 02:38 AM
I'm pretty sure the "real men" in these parts drink beer.

.:SMASH:.
10-23-2005, 02:42 AM
Okay, I'm sick of you faggots drinking like idiot pansy girls. So I'm going to teach you how you're supposed to drink like men of class, like gentlemen, like refined men of impeccable taste. Here goes.

Absinthe

I'm sure you all know how to drink absinthe. Soak a sugar cube in it, place a knife over the glass. Set the soaked sugar cube on the knife, and light it on fire. When the fire goes out and sugar is semi-caramelised, you drop it into the absinthe and crush it up. Then you add about two parts water to your one part absinthe. That is how you drink absinthe. Shotting and drinking straight from the bottle is uncouth (but hell, do it anyway)

Oyso

Oyso is one of the strong liquers that can be drunk straight, at room temperature. Never chill it. It's delicious straight from the bottle, or neat. If you must mix, mix it with coke.

Scotch Whiskey

Three main types ; bar, blended, and single malt. Single malt (Johnny Walker Blue Label, Chivas Regal, etc) should always be drunk neat. Slightly above room temperature, so you'll need to put it in a glass and warm it with the heat of your hand. Blended (Johnny Walker Black Label, etc) can be drunk neat, but isn't always good enough. It's fine over the rocks, and it's excellent in whiskey sours (add a squeeze of lemon juice, and a twist of rind if you have it handy). Bar scotch (Famous Grouse, Black Douglas, etc.) is usually shit, and if it's not good enough to drink over rocks, it should be mixed with dry ginger ale, coke or black coffee in the morning. If you like sugar in your coffee, add as much as you normally would. It can also be shotted in boilermakers. Nothing but bar scotch should ever be shotted. Note that scotch and water is a disgusting and unrefined choice.

Bourbon Whiskey

Three or four main types, I forget them all. Tennessee, Kentucky, a couple others. It doesn't really matter, cause it's a question of taste, not quality, as is the case with scotches. Decent bourbons should be sipped neat, less than decent should be drunk over rocks. Shit bourbon should be mixed with dry ginger or coke. If you add bourbon to black coffee, put in about half the amount of sugar you'd normally add.

Other Whiskeys

Jamesons and Canadian Club are smooth, and okay tasting. Drink them neat. Any other whiskeys should be drunk over ice, or mixed. Note that none of them are as sweet as bourbon, so if you make coffee with them, add as much sugar as you normally would.

Southern Comfort

No. Under no circumstances. Ever.

Tequila

Dark tequilas like Jose Cuervo are best, but light tequilas like Coyote are also acceptable. Note that tequila only has two purposes. Getting you drunk, and giving you the excuse to do body shots with an attractive member of the opposite sex. Tequila should be shotted in boilermakers, or in lick-sip-sucks (lick your wrist, pour salt on it, lick the salt, drink the shot, bite into a wedge of lemon or lime and suck). To do a body shot, the salt goes on the neck or breastline of the attractive member of the opposite sex. They hold the wedge between their teeth for you to bite it. There is also the tequila slammer, which is the same as a lip-sick-suck, but you add the slightest bit of carbonated beverage (usually lemonade) to the shot. You then cover the shot and slam it down on the table, causing it to fizz. This increases the time it takes to absorb into your bloodstream, and gets you wasted quicker. If you drink slammers with a straw, it's called a "Sudden Death". Most bars will refuse to serve you this way, as they know from bitter experience what it does to human beings. Tequila doesn't mix well with anything except coffee, and you'll find yourself having to add extra salt, to counteract the saltiness of tequila. Tequila sunrises are an abomination.

Vodka

Unfortunately, vodka is the favoured drink of pansy tards who hate the taste of alcohol. This is because it mixes with anything. This does not mean it's not sophisticated and refined to drink vodka straight. It should never be drunk at room temperature, this is what alcoholics and retards do. Nor should it be drunk over rocks, chill your vodka in the fridge (not freezer), and drink neat. Vodka martinis (despite what you may have seen in the 007 movies) are not sophisticated or refined, they are what cretins drink. Avoid vodka martinis. If you have vodka so bad it simply must be mixed, the best vodka mixer is one shot of vodka, two shots of lime cordial, a dash of Angastora bitters, then fill the glass up with lemonade. Of course, vodka mixes with everything.

Gin

Gin is the drink of the truly refined and sophisticated man. It should be drunk chilled and neat, with a dash of quinine powder or a twist of lemon/lime rind if one so desires. It's also excellent in martinis, the sophisticated man only drinks extra dry martinis, with olive or lemon rind. Cocktail onions are uncouth. If you must mix, you're best to go with bitter lemon (ie; carbonated lemon-based soda with added quinine powder). Gin and tonic is, despite what you may have heard, very uncouth and unsophisticated. It's a bitch whore drink. Gin and juice is just as bad, and has gotten even worse since the Snoop Dogg song.

Brandy

Naturally, you'll want to go for cognac or amignac. Brandy should ideally be served in a snifter, but it's not neccessary. The reason for it is to spread the heat from ones hand and totally encompass as much of the drink as possible, as you'll want to drink it slightly above room temperature. Even common brandies are acceptable drunk like this. If you must mix brandy, never mix with coke, use something that isn't sweet, like dry ginger ale. Brandy Alexanders are an abomination. Plum brandies such as slijvovice, slivovica and slivovitz are unsophisticated alcoholics drinks, suitable only for shotting in boilermakers.

Rum

Go for dark. Light rum is a bitches choice. Overproof rum, like Bacardi 151 is excellent for shotting in boilermakers, but not much else. For regular rum, you'll probably want to add a little lemon juice, or lemon rind. If not, you really don't want to be drinking it straight. Mix with something like dry ginger, to avoid the excessive sweetness coke or similar carbonated beverages will bring. Don't mix with juice. If you add rum to black coffee (which is quite delicious), forgo any sugar you'd normally put in.
whoa...you must be SOOOO bored

Al Coholic
04-21-2011, 11:58 PM
Southern Comfort

No. Under no circumstances. Ever

Well, that makes my evening.

A note about Jack Daniels:

Jack is the go to choice of any country douchebag that doesn't have an opinion on alcohol. These are the same people that could walk into a taphouse with 100 beers on tap - and still order Bud Light. They order Jack Daniels because they're afraid somebody will call them gay if they try anything else.

If you like Jack, you should appreciate Gentlemen's Jack, which I believe has come out since this thread was made. For a little extra, it's a little smoother. Gent's Jack is not to be mixed. Jack and Coke drinkers are a whole serperate class of assholes anyway. If you have to weaken it, get it on the rocks with a splash of water.

Paint_It_Black
04-22-2011, 07:58 AM
Margaritas have become my drink of choice. When I started to go to mexican restaurants just to feel comfortable ordering margaritas I realized it was time to start always ordering the drinks I want instead of the drinks I wanted others to see me drinking.

I still generally drink them at mexican restaurants more than anywhere else, but that's because mexicans know a margarita should be strong and cheap.

RageAndLov
04-22-2011, 06:08 PM
Well fuck you Sin Studly, leave me and my potato wine alone. You're just jealous that you don't live in the Vodka Belt (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vodka_belt#Vodka_belt).

Oxygene
04-23-2011, 09:57 AM
I think that there are two different types of "drinking".. culinary, and leisure.

For leisure I think that the only avoidable alcohols are the shit ones that give you ahead ache and are substandard. I don't think a punk rock club show with 200 fucktard teenagers warrants an Edradour, I think jack and coke is perfectly suitable. In fact I get the point above, my favorite drink off ALL TIME, is a rose spritzer super light.. 1 part wine 4 parts water. It's like a soft drink, and it's one of the few things you can actually drink when on a diet. Rose isn't the most masculine drink, although here in Europe wine spritzers aren't considered feminine like baileys or bacardi breezers, but I've stopped giving a fuck about that a while back.

As for culinary drinking, it really boils down to cognacs, "big reds", and uber whiskeys, maybe high end rum and a vodka and a few extras, but even those are borderline.. plus some cuban cigars of course ;)

Virtuoso
04-23-2011, 11:18 AM
I don't care what I fucking drink, all that matters is that I'm fucking drunk now.

Al Coholic
04-23-2011, 01:11 PM
Pink wine, diluted to 20%???????????????????????

Get outta here. Just go.

And yes, they are. Wine spritzers make bacardi breezers look like moonshine.

Oxygene
04-24-2011, 04:26 AM
Pink wine, diluted to 20%???????????????????????

Get outta here. Just go.

And yes, they are. Wine spritzers make bacardi breezers look like moonshine.

Do you have a passport?