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the_offsprings_monkey
10-26-2005, 04:03 AM
Here are a few crappy lines I know. But you're an idiot if you use them.

"Does your father work in produce? 'Cause you have nice melons."

I heard my mate use this one. "Oh, so you're only half Irish? Want more in you?"

"Hi my name is Ashley, that's so you'll know what to scream tonight!"

"Hi! Wanna Fuck?"

"Roses are black, violets are red, what is it going to take, to get you into bed?"

"All those curves, and me with no brakes."

"You must be a sweeping brush, cause you just swept me off my feet."

"I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away!"

"If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?"


please feel free to post the ones you use.

Megs
10-26-2005, 04:07 AM
i don't use it but....

"hey, i forgot my library card, can i check you out instead?"

or at least it's something like that....

Kerr
10-26-2005, 04:12 AM
Pick up lines suck (this isn't a pop at you Ashley as you emphasised that in your first post). Yeah, a bit of wit does pay off, but you won't ind that in any pick-up lines. I have no experience of this kind of thing as I have never been out on the pull, let alone had a girlfriend, but from what I have heard others say, it's just the whole being yourself thing that counts.

But meh..... 'tis good to have a bit o' fun, eh?

Megs
10-26-2005, 04:13 AM
"ooh, you have nice legs, what time do they open?"

the_offsprings_monkey
10-26-2005, 04:15 AM
"ooh, you have nice legs, what time do they open?"
umm yea!?!? lol, yea it is best to be yourself, thats how I got kim. :o

Kerr
10-26-2005, 04:15 AM
"ooh, you have nice legs, what time do they open?"
HAHA! Yeah, some are funny, but I wouldn't se them unless I wanted a slap.

Here're a few inadvisable ones:
"I'm a lawyer. Trust me"
"Wanna see my Jack the Ripper memorabilia?"
"That tape on your glasses really sets off your eyes!"

nieh
10-26-2005, 04:38 AM
If my balls were filled with ink, I'd write a sonnet all over your lower-back.

This pick-up line is awesome. Not only do you give the impression that you want to fuck them, but since you used the word "sonnet" it gives them the impression that you're a sensative, cultured man.

Megs
10-26-2005, 04:43 AM
only really work for guys.....


Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew...

Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken leg? No??? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!

Do you sleep on your stomach? [any answer] Can I?

Excuse me, have I fucked you yet?

Hey babe, how about a pizza and a fuck? [Slap] HEY! What's wrong, don't you like pizza?

Hey Baby! I'd like to use your thighs as earmuffs.

Hi, do you want to have my children? (assuming the answer is 'no'), OK then, can we just practice?

Let's bypass all the bullshit and just get naked.

My name's [your name], but you can call me "lover."


Oh, you're a bird watcher....(Whip out your unit and ask) Well, would you take this for a swallow?

Sex is a killer...want to die happy?

What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.

First, I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I'll move up to your belly button

You -will- go home with me tonight(ah, the jedi mind trick finally finds a good use)

and i can't be assed to write more, so there.

The_Hombre
10-26-2005, 04:49 AM
I love chat up lines. They rock. Only losers use all that "be yourself" bullshit. I have used the same chat up line for 5 years and it's never failed me.

Chat up lines are for cool people :cool:

Kerr
10-26-2005, 04:50 AM
Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken leg? No??? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!

Hey babe, how about a pizza and a fuck? [Slap] HEY! What's wrong, don't you like pizza?

Hey Baby! I'd like to use your thighs as earmuffs.

Hi, do you want to have my children? (assuming the answer is 'no'), OK then, can we just practice?

Oh, you're a bird watcher....(Whip out your unit and ask) Well, would you take this for a swallow?

Sex is a killer...want to die happy?

First, I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I'll move up to your belly button

Those were quite good.

Megs
10-26-2005, 04:51 AM
I love chat up lines. They rock. Only losers use all that "be yourself" bullshit. I have used the same chat up line for 5 years and it's never failed me.

Chat up lines are for cool people :cool:
what's your then?

The_Hombre
10-26-2005, 04:53 AM
what's your then?

It's top secret. I can't risk anyone else knowing about it.

It's in my room, in a file marked TOP SECRET and sealed in wax.

And that is in a safe which can only be opened with a retina scan.

Megs
10-26-2005, 04:56 AM
(With hands on shoulders) Oh, those are shoulder blades, I thought they were wings

Are you busy tonight at 3:00 A.M.?

Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven's a long way from here

somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel!

Are you O.K.? Because heaven's a long fall from here

Can I borrow some change? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams. OR: I want to call your mother and thank her

Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!!

I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south

If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you

What time do you have to be back in heaven?

and again i can't be asssed to write more...

Kerr
10-26-2005, 04:57 AM
If my balls were filled with ink, I'd write a sonnet all over your lower-back.

This pick-up line is awesome. Not only do you give the impression that you want to fuck them, but since you used the word "sonnet" it gives them the impression that you're a sensative, cultured man.
Another great line.

The_Hombre
10-26-2005, 05:00 AM
(With hands on shoulders) Oh, those are shoulder blades, I thought they were wings

Are you busy tonight at 3:00 A.M.?

Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven's a long way from here

somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel!

Are you O.K.? Because heaven's a long fall from here

Can I borrow some change? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams. OR: I want to call your mother and thank her

Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!!

I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south

If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you

What time do you have to be back in heaven?

and again i can't be asssed to write more...

How do you hold the cider drinking scrotes away?

Megs
10-26-2005, 05:09 AM
How do you hold the cider drinking scrotes away?
did someone say cider?

The_Hombre
10-26-2005, 05:12 AM
did someone say cider?


The chav's drink of choice.

the_offsprings_monkey
10-26-2005, 05:13 AM
The chav's drink of choice.
LMFAO I was hanging around with my old mates yesterday and they endded up drinking that.

Megs
10-26-2005, 05:16 AM
i hate "chavs", but i love cider (but i'm picky, only strongbow will suffice)

the_offsprings_monkey
10-26-2005, 05:17 AM
i hate "chavs", but i love cider (but i'm picky, only strongbow will suffice)
I like you more and more everyday megs :D

Megs
10-26-2005, 05:23 AM
Why, thankyou! :p

the_offsprings_monkey
10-26-2005, 05:42 AM
http://lunchbreaktoons.com/bfc/158.gif

Megs
10-26-2005, 05:45 AM
wow. the boyfriend guy relly, relly looks like shane (aka. rancid guyxxx)

the_offsprings_monkey
10-26-2005, 09:12 AM
wow. the boyfriend guy relly, relly looks like shane (aka. rancid guyxxx)
really? idk aint seen him so I cnt say

lenar
10-26-2005, 11:55 PM
Your name should be cambells becuase you are mm mm good
My name is Milk. I will do your body good.

Yeash yeah lame I know but I can't think of any..haha

memento
10-27-2005, 01:57 AM
I used "you did a good webcam strip last night, we should go back to mine and have sex now"