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Italia311
11-02-2005, 07:55 AM
A bus stops and two Italian Men get on. They sit
down and engage in an animated conversation. The
lady sitting behind them ignores them at first
but her attention is galvanized when she hears
one of the men say the following:

"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses
come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses
they come together again. I come again and pee
twice. Then I come one lasta time."

"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted
the lady in dignantly. "In this country we don't
speak aloud in public places about our sex
lives...."

"Hey, coola down lady, " said the man. "Who
talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my
frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'

Anyone have any jokes?

Sin Studly
11-02-2005, 07:59 AM
I thought you said the joke would be funny?

T-6005
11-02-2005, 08:05 AM
He's a RACIST!!!! Get Him!!!

the_offsprings_monkey
11-02-2005, 08:06 AM
He's a RACIST!!!! Get Him!!!
Hell I hate you an all but I got your back in this.

notoriousdoc
11-02-2005, 08:08 AM
That's...nice

A man walks into a seedy bar and asks the barman for a drink. After purchasing a lager, he sits down in a corner next to an old man. Five minutes pass until a piece of tarmac waltz' in, goes up to the bar and declares,
"I'm a piece of a main road, I'm well 'ard", buys a pint of lager and sits down
Another five minutes pass and then the man watches a bigger piece of tarmac stride in, an air of superiority following him. He goes to the bar and growls loudly,
"I'm a piece of a motorway, I'm as hard as Wishomie's penis", buys a bottle of WKD and sits down
Ten minutes pass and the man notices everyone in the bar gets edgy. Suddenly, another piece of tarmac comes in, hunched, up to the bar. Everybody goes quiet. The man asks the old man sat next to him,
"Who the hell's that?"
"Him?" says the old man, hushed "He's a cyclepath"

Italia311
11-02-2005, 08:46 AM
Hahaah...nice joke

K..K...this is an Italian joke, but other Europeans might get it...

A young man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and is going to get married. He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over three woman and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry". His mother agrees.

The next day, he brings three beautiful women to the house and sits them down on the couch to chat for a while. Then he says, "Ok, Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry."

She immediately replies, "The one on the right."

"Thats amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"

The Italian mother replies. "I don't like her."

Ohhhhhhhhhhh *ba bum ssssssss* (drums)

lol.

Sin Studly
11-02-2005, 08:47 AM
Why are niggers so good at basketball?

They already know how to run, shoot and steal.

The_Hombre
11-02-2005, 08:53 AM
A bus stops and two Italian Men get on. They sit
down and engage in an animated conversation....

Anyone have any jokes?


This joke was not funny in the slightest. It was so unfunny that I am not going to read your second joke out of protest. I fear I might be violently sick if I read another of your jokes.

Italia311
11-02-2005, 08:59 AM
You posted in this thread just so you can say that? What a fucking loser. Just put me on your ignore list you moron. Fuck.

The_Hombre
11-02-2005, 09:15 AM
Why are niggers so good at basketball?

They already know how to run, shoot and steal.

This guy can tell jokes. You can't. Fuck you.

Italia311
11-02-2005, 09:25 AM
This message is hidden because The_Hombre is on your ignore list.

and thats that...

The_Hombre
11-02-2005, 09:30 AM
and thats that...

Was it the Italian nigger comment?

notoriousdoc
11-02-2005, 09:33 AM
Was it the Italian nigger comment?
So he can see

The_Hombre
11-02-2005, 09:36 AM
So he can see

He has the option to take me off his Ignore List.

As soon as he learns he is being a fucking crybaby.

Megs
11-02-2005, 11:42 AM
Best joke ever:

two elephatns fall off a cliff.

BOOM.....
...................
.....................BOOM

.:SMASH:.
11-02-2005, 11:48 AM
I thought you said the joke would be funny?
why don't you tell us a better joke smart arse

crazy_offspring_gal
11-02-2005, 11:51 AM
Best joke ever:

two elephatns fall off a cliff.

BOOM.....
...................
.....................BOOM
I dont get it.. Ooh isnt it ment to be funny? *blonde moment*

Megs
11-02-2005, 12:00 PM
I dont get it.. Ooh isnt it ment to be funny? *blonde moment*

definite blonde merment. sarcastic joke. okies, better one,

two bits of vomit are walking down the street. one starts crying. "what's the matter?" said the other . "it's allright" the vomit says, "i always get sentimental when i pass the place i was brought up"

.:SMASH:.
11-02-2005, 12:07 PM
definite blonde merment. sarcastic joke. okies, better one,

two bits of vomit are walking down the street. one starts crying. "what's the matter?" said the other . "it's allright" the vomit says, "i always get sentimental when i pass the place i was brought up"
now i feel a bit sick

crazy_offspring_gal
11-02-2005, 12:09 PM
two bits of vomit are walking down the street. one starts crying. "what's the matter?" said the other . "it's allright" the vomit says, "i always get sentimental when i pass the place i was brought up"
Haha, aww I deffo got that one! :D

SkunkIt
11-02-2005, 12:11 PM
why don't you tell us a better joke smart arse
He already did.

.:SMASH:.
11-02-2005, 12:12 PM
He already did.
no you misunderstand. i know he did. i just posted that to insult his joke. you could say that was my joke for the day

SkunkIt
11-02-2005, 12:14 PM
Smash, his joke was actually funny.

.:SMASH:.
11-02-2005, 12:16 PM
Why are niggers so good at basketball?

They already know how to run, shoot and steal.
thats not funny, its racist you racist bum

SkunkIt
11-02-2005, 12:17 PM
It's racist, but It's also funny. Speaking of racist jokes:


Who's the best Jewish cook?

Hitler.

.:SMASH:.
11-02-2005, 12:18 PM
It's racist, but It's also funny.
back on topic

SkunkIt
11-02-2005, 12:34 PM
What's the opposite of Christopher Walken?
Christopher Reeves.

Why did Hitler kill himself?
He saw his gas bill.

Why can't Mexicans jump?
Because the ones that can jumped over the border and became American.

How do you babysit a black kid?
Put some velcro on the ceiling.

What's the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A hooker cleans her crack before she sells it.

What do you call 100 white men chasing a black guy?
The PGA tour.

What do you call a dancing white woman?
Micheal Jackson.

the_offsprings_monkey
11-02-2005, 12:39 PM
Three women - a German, a Jew and a polack - all gave birth to seven pound baby boys at the same time. The nurses got the babies mixed up somehow and couldn't tell which baby belonged to which mother.
After an hour of mass confusion the father of the German baby decided he would settle the problem. He walked into the nursery and lined up the three infants in a row. He then clicked his heels, raised his arm in a salute and shouted, "Heil Hitler!"
The German baby snapped to attention, the Jewish baby shit it's pants and the polish baby played in it!

Why did Hitler kill himself?
The Jews sent him a gas bill!

Did you hear about the queer German?
Ate Off Hitler!

What sweet did Hitler hate more than any other?
Jew Jew Beans......But I heard he enjoyed them roasted!

Have you heard about Hitler's new microwave oven?
It seats 500!

What was Adolf's favourite song?
"If I knew you were coming I'd have baked a kike!"

Megs
11-02-2005, 12:43 PM
[QUOTE=SkunkIt]What's the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A hooker cleans her crack before she sells it.[QUOTE]

Q,or alternatively, why does a prostitute earn more money?
A.she can wash her crack and use it again.

Sin Studly
11-02-2005, 12:50 PM
What do you call a Jewish dilemma?
Discount ham.

Why do Jews have such big noses?
Air is free.

Why can't Stevie Wonder read?
Because he's a nigger.

Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman.

What did Helen Keller name her dog?
Mmmpphhhrraaammmpphphphauuurrgh.

Why are there so many shelters for battered women?
Because they just won't fucking learn.

How do you get crazy_offspring_gal out of a tree?
Cut the rope.

What does crazy_offspring_gal do when she gets really bad gas?
Winds up the car windows and leaves the motor running.

What's the worst thing about hanging out with crazy_offspring_gal?
Rope burn.

crazy_offspring_gal
11-02-2005, 12:52 PM
How do you get crazy_offspring_gal out of a tree?
Cut the rope.

What does crazy_offspring_gal do when she gets really bad gas?
Winds up the car windows and leaves the motor running.

What's the worst thing about hanging out with crazy_offspring_gal?
Rope burn.
Haha, I find them funny!

You amuse me!

PLease make more about me!

Megs
11-02-2005, 12:54 PM
How do you get crazy_offspring_gal out of a tree?
Cut the rope.

What does crazy_offspring_gal do when she gets really bad gas?
Winds up the car windows and leaves the motor running.

What's the worst thing about hanging out with crazy_offspring_gal?
Rope burn.
you fucking bastard. you seriously need to learn about why people have problems. in their life. becuase of fucking pricks like you who make peoples lives living hell. why don't you go away, think about everything you've said on this board, re-think your decisions, and then re-post?

Sin Studly
11-02-2005, 12:55 PM
Sorry, your attentionwhore credit just reached zero. To increase your attentionwhore credit quota, you will need to cut your arms up again and make another hollow suicide threat.

crazy_offspring_gal
11-02-2005, 12:56 PM
you fucking bastard. you seriously need to learn about why people have problems. in their life. becuase of fucking pricks like you who make peoples lives living hell. why don't you go away, think about everything you've said on this board, re-think your decisions, and then re-post?
Megs Megs.. hay hay calm down you! Just watch the little man sit there at the computer trying to insult me and other people. he can try his lil socks off an still wont sucsed! (spelling :mad: )

Sin Studly
11-02-2005, 12:56 PM
you fucking bastard. you seriously need to learn about why people have problems. in their life. becuase of fucking pricks like you who make peoples lives living hell. why don't you go away, think about everything you've said on this board, re-think your decisions, and then re-post?

Okay, I went at and thought about it, and revised my decision.

*ahem*

What did crazy_offspring_gal do when she missed the bus?
Hid back behind the bushes and waited for the next one.

crazy_offspring_gal
11-02-2005, 12:58 PM
What did crazy_offspring_gal do when she missed the bus?
Hid back behind the bushes and waited for the next one.
Do I cut myself behind the bushes or not?

Megs
11-02-2005, 12:59 PM
i fucking give up trying to make you see some kind of rational sense sin, and i'm not the one posting shit, so how about you cut your arms up and increase your attention whoring quota to twice the fucking rate it is now?

Sin Studly
11-02-2005, 12:59 PM
No, you wait for the bus to come and jump in front of it, does it have to be spelled out to you?

Sin Studly
11-02-2005, 01:01 PM
i fucking give up trying to make you see some kind of rational sense sin, and i'm not the one posting shit, so how about you cut your arms up and increase your attention whoring quota to twice the fucking rate it is now?

Because I'm not a crying vagina like crazy_offspring_gal.

crazy_offspring_gal
11-02-2005, 01:01 PM
No, you wait for the bus to come and jump in front of it, does it have to be spelled out to you?
Yea but if i cut my self then.. it would make it better... *slit* behind the bush... *smack* In to the bus..

Megs
11-02-2005, 01:03 PM
Because I'm not a crying vagina like crazy_offspring_gal.
nah, you're a crying prick.

The_Hombre
11-02-2005, 01:36 PM
Probably the best jokes I've heard all year.

*wipes tear from eye*

Except you could do with more Jews and Nazi's in your routine. Perhaps one involving a Jewish Nazi Nigger? That'd be cool.

Can I point out at ths stage that people who take this place seriously are complete fucktards? I know that is very ironic for me to say as I was once a complete crybaby fucktard myself at one point.

If you don't like my reasoning, go cry to your mummy. I'm sure she has a drawer full of razorblades somewhere.

"Here honey, I was saving these for when you failed your exams, but you can have them now if you want."

Sin Studly
11-02-2005, 03:09 PM
What did the Nazi say to the Jewish Nigger?

Get to the back of the oven.

The_Hombre
11-02-2005, 03:18 PM
Hitler is walking down the road when he sees a group of Jews huddled by the roadside. He sees they are cold and hungry, filthy from spending months in poverty.

"I'll take you in," says the suspiciously jovial Hitler. "I can give you hot water, some clothes, and I'll even give you a free shower..."

coke_a_holic
11-02-2005, 03:20 PM
Did you know Helen Keller had a dog?
Neither did she.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you already told her twice.

Why are women's feet so small?
To stand closer to the stove.

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow blower?
Give the bitch a shovel.

Why don't women need umbrellas/snowshovels?
Because it doesn't rain/snow between the kitchen and the bedroom.'



I'll remember more later.

Paint_It_Black
11-02-2005, 03:21 PM
Hitler only hated Jews because he hadn't met the Hombre.

The_Hombre
11-02-2005, 03:26 PM
Hitler only hated Jews because he hadn't met the Hombre.

Of course he met me. He hated me a lot more than the Jews. I was the one who shot him in his bunker. We had a fight over Scrabble - he insisted that "Hitlerism" was a word.

Paint_It_Black
11-02-2005, 03:27 PM
I just do not understand you.

The_Hombre
11-02-2005, 03:30 PM
It takes intelligence to understand people.

Paint_It_Black
11-02-2005, 03:32 PM
Oh, I understand people. I just don't understand you. You seem to accept that you are worthless but don't do anything about it.

The_Hombre
11-02-2005, 03:34 PM
*shrugs* what can I say?

erm... you got me?

Lithuanian Offspring
11-02-2005, 03:40 PM
Why are niggers so good at basketball?

They already know how to run, shoot and steal.
I think you'll like this one. It's a horrible joke I know...
What do you do when you see five black guys raping a white woman?


You throw them a basketball!!

Paint_It_Black
11-02-2005, 03:41 PM
Hombre, you kinda interest me. I get the feeling I could walk into your home, rape your boyfriend and steal all your stuff, and you'd just wait patiently until I was done and then call the police. You lack spirit.

The_Hombre
11-02-2005, 03:45 PM
Hombre, you kinda interest me. I get the feeling I could walk into your home, rape your boyfriend and steal all your stuff, and you'd just wait patiently until I was done and then call the police. You lack spirit.

I have nothing to say to that. Haha! That was perfect.

Paint_It_Black
11-02-2005, 03:47 PM
You had something to say, hence the reply. Just nothing with even a hint of testicles.

guitar_and_drummer_guy
11-02-2005, 04:10 PM
well this isnt really a joke but some of the people at my school get nicknames my freinds are called catholic-nazis jews nazis and I am called the best of all a jewish-nazi

The_Hombre
11-02-2005, 04:16 PM
well this isnt really a joke but some of the people at my school get nicknames my freinds are called catholic-nazis jews nazis and I am called the best of all a jewish-nazi

They should've called you Full Stop Boy

Alec
11-02-2005, 04:24 PM
Any blond jokes?...




Q: How do you drownd a blond




A: Put a skratch-and-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

Sin Studly
11-02-2005, 04:29 PM
They should've called you Full Stop Boy

They should have called you "Please Just Stop Boy"

WebDudette
11-02-2005, 04:30 PM
Why don't blacks have dreams
The last one who did got shot

How do you stop a nigger from drowning
Take your foot of his head

If a black and a mexican jump of a cliff who lands first
Who cares as long as they both jump

How do you make the four year old cry twice
Wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear

Why did God give black men big dicks
He felt bad for putting pubis hairs on there heads

The_Hombre
11-02-2005, 04:35 PM
They should have called you "Please Just Stop Boy"

that was a good one.