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wheelchairman
11-15-2005, 09:14 AM
Alright, I'm going from most important to least.

1. Anal sex

2. Make more food.

3. Wake up earlier than the guy to make him breakfast.

4. It's your goal in life to make him fat and accept that he cheats.

5. Be kind to his secretary.

6. Blowjobs.

7. Ordinary sex, but not during your "unclean" time of the month.

8. Accept that he has a back-up while you are unclean.

9. You must like everything he likes when it comes to music and films.

10. He comes first.

11. Sex should be fast and unsatisfying for you.

12. Cry, a lot.

13. Cry during sex.

14. "tonight, after un-lubed anal, let's not cuddle."

15. Drop any and all euphemism for sex.

16. "I'm going to sleep with Per."

17. "You're right, abortions are a good idea."

18. "You got a coathanger, or will you just punch me in the belly?"

19. The key to true love, is forgiveness (if he gives you HIV)

20. Looking at other guys means you are unfaithful.

21. "Hanson DOES suck"

22. Clean. (actually this should go up a little higher.)

JohnnyNemesis
11-15-2005, 09:15 AM
Methinks you have personal interest in number 21 being fulfilled, eh?

wheelchairman
11-15-2005, 09:16 AM
Methinks you have personal interest in number 21 being fulfilled, eh?
This entire list is completely and utterly objective.

Tizzalicious
11-15-2005, 09:18 AM
OMFG.

Note to self: Per is also hot when he doesn't smile. There is no need to make him smile.

Vera
11-15-2005, 09:18 AM
"No, honey, I didn't call out 'That girl from Hanson!' when I came.. What are you talking about?"

the_offsprings_monkey
11-15-2005, 09:19 AM
Hanson is the biggest pile of shit on this earth.

Izie
11-15-2005, 09:21 AM
Awwwww, I <3 Per

Tizzalicious
11-15-2005, 09:21 AM
"No, honey, I didn't call out 'That girl from Hanson!' when I came.. What are you talking about?"

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v415/maartjew/girlfriendfan.jpg

kami_mathieu
11-15-2005, 09:21 AM
Alright, I'm going from most important to least.
12. Cry, a lot.


explain, I hate it when they do that.

wheelchairman
11-15-2005, 09:23 AM
explain, I hate it when they do that.
I'm sadistic.

Preocupado
11-15-2005, 10:04 AM
a better world is possible indeed!
*applause*

http://www.brideworld.com/publicity/images/patriotic.jpg

Back in Black
11-15-2005, 10:45 AM
Hanson is the biggest pile of shit on this earth.
Mmm bop, ba duba bop
Ba du bop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, ba duba dop
Ba du

the_offsprings_monkey
11-15-2005, 10:51 AM
Mmm bop, ba duba bop
Ba du bop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, ba duba dop
Ba du
Hello Wishomie.

The_Hombre
11-15-2005, 10:52 AM
I agree with WCM on all points except No. 16.

Per's a genius

the_GoDdEsS
11-15-2005, 10:54 AM
Exactly the way it should be.

Back in Black
11-15-2005, 10:58 AM
Hello Wishomie.
Hi .

Tizzalicious
11-15-2005, 02:08 PM
Mmm bop, ba duba bop
Ba du bop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, ba duba dop
Ba du

*MMMBop ba duba dop

kami_mathieu
11-15-2005, 02:14 PM
*MMMBop ba duba dop

actually its: Mmmbop, ba duba dop ba do bop,
Ba duba dop ba do bop,
Ba duba dop ba do. oh yeah,
Mmmbop ba duba dop ba do bop,
Ba duba dop ba do bop,
Ba duba dop ba do
Oh yeah, in an mmmbop theyre gone. yeah.

(google: hanson mmmbob)

Tizzalicious
11-15-2005, 02:18 PM
actually its: Mmmbop, ba duba dop ba do bop,
Ba duba dop ba do bop,
Ba duba dop ba do. oh yeah,
Mmmbop ba duba dop ba do bop,
Ba duba dop ba do bop,
Ba duba dop ba do
Oh yeah, in an mmmbop theyre gone. yeah.

(google: hanson mmmbob)

Don't correct me when I post the lyrics to MMMBop.

These are wrong.

Don't always trust google.

.:SMASH:.
11-15-2005, 02:31 PM
Alright, I'm going from most important to least.

1. Anal sex

2. Make more food.

3. Wake up earlier than the guy to make him breakfast.

4. It's your goal in life to make him fat and accept that he cheats.

5. Be kind to his secretary.

6. Blowjobs.

7. Ordinary sex, but not during your "unclean" time of the month.

8. Accept that he has a back-up while you are unclean.

9. You must like everything he likes when it comes to music and films.

10. He comes first.

11. Sex should be fast and unsatisfying for you.

12. Cry, a lot.

13. Cry during sex.

14. "tonight, after un-lubed anal, let's not cuddle."

15. Drop any and all euphemism for sex.

16. "I'm going to sleep with Per."

17. "You're right, abortions are a good idea."

18. "You got a coathanger, or will you just punch me in the belly?"

19. The key to true love, is forgiveness (if he gives you HIV)

20. Looking at other guys means you are unfaithful.

21. "Hanson DOES suck"

22. Clean. (actually this should go up a little higher.)
you make guys look terrible

noodlesfan
11-15-2005, 02:56 PM
Sadistic eh? me too, check this out, i plan on buying this movie twice http://www.slaughteredvomitdolls.com/trailer.html ahhhh, nothing like an "exploited horror" (fake snuff) to get the dick a drillin'

Back in Black
11-15-2005, 02:58 PM
actually its: Mmmbop, ba duba dop ba do bop,
Ba duba dop ba do bop,
Ba duba dop ba do. oh yeah,
Mmmbop ba duba dop ba do bop,
Ba duba dop ba do bop,
Ba duba dop ba do
Oh yeah, in an mmmbop theyre gone. yeah.

(google: hanson mmmbob)
Thanks a lot. Now I'm going to listen to my Hanson CD.

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
11-15-2005, 03:06 PM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v415/maartjew/girlfriendfan.jpg


Those are laaaaaaaame.

Little_Miss_1565
11-15-2005, 04:21 PM
1. Anal sex

On you, or your partner?


7. Ordinary sex, but not during your "unclean" time of the month.

I have not once been turned away for being on the rag. Maybe my vagina is simply superior to all others.

Betty
11-15-2005, 05:22 PM
I have mastered the art of sex during that time of the month. (... I am such an awesome girlfriend...)

JohnnyNemesis
11-15-2005, 06:11 PM
you make guys look terrible

Nah, you've got that covered.

Offspring-Fanatic
11-15-2005, 06:14 PM
you make guys look terrible


doesn't he? he makes them look like they're all perverted pigs

coke_a_holic
11-15-2005, 06:15 PM
What the fuck? You need to take a couple of chill pills and just stop whining.

Offspring-Fanatic
11-15-2005, 06:18 PM
me? yeah i do...im just tired, its been a long day, im pissed at my dad...tmi but thats why

JohnnyNemesis
11-15-2005, 06:19 PM
Personally, I think he makes guys look like they have a sense of humor.

The funny thing is that Per probably respects women more than half of you ignorant fucks who are bashing him just to look cool in the eyes of the more immature girls here do.

Offspring7
11-15-2005, 06:21 PM
if the guy is cute, it doesn't matter if they smile. smiles are preferable, so i'll take this list into consideration, even though i generally know how to please my men.

Offspring-Fanatic
11-15-2005, 06:21 PM
The funny thing is that Per probably respects women more than half of you ignorant fucks who are bashing him just to look cool in the eyes of the more immature girls here do.

can you please put it simpler so my puny mind can actually catch up with what your saying??

JohnnyNemesis
11-15-2005, 06:23 PM
No. It's pretty simple as it is.

...ok, fine, I'll give it a shot:

Most of the people here telling him he's an asshole or pervert are just saying that so that they can look better than him.

Offspring-Fanatic
11-15-2005, 06:26 PM
Most of the people here telling him he's an asshole or pervert are just saying that so that they can look better than him.


okay i get it now...thank you. but seriously im not trying to do anything to say im better than him b/c i know im not...he is a far more highly ranked member but just...its just disturbing and a little perverted to me. that's all i was saying.

coke_a_holic
11-15-2005, 06:33 PM
THIS. THREAD. IS. A. JOKE. STOP. WORRYING.

Jesus Christ, do I have to spell everything out for you?

Offspring-Fanatic
11-15-2005, 06:44 PM
and when did you become so pissy?

i didnt know it was a joke alright!

geez...

_ߥ_vil_
11-15-2005, 06:46 PM
THIS. THREAD. IS. A. JOKE. STOP. WORRYING.

Jesus Christ, do I have to spell everything out for you?

Yes. It was taking the piss outta my thread. Like everyone has in these last couple of days. :p

Just a Girl
11-15-2005, 07:36 PM
Don't correct me when I post the lyrics to MMMBop.

These are wrong.


this is the best quote i've seen in a long time. i love how aggressive you are over hanson lyrics.


*cowers* please don't hurt me, i swear i wasn't mocking hanson.

Sunny
11-15-2005, 08:50 PM
7. Ordinary sex, but not during your "unclean" time of the month.



thats what the butt is for! =p

T-6005
11-15-2005, 09:01 PM
Definitely amusing - but I do disagree with some of them.

JohnnyNemesis
11-15-2005, 10:04 PM
thats what the butt is for! =p

Wise words from a wise woman.

I still hate her for flaking out on me like, a bajillion times though. Yeah, YOU HEARD ME!

Sunny
11-15-2005, 10:10 PM
pshhh meanie... i couldnt find my phone so i didnt have your # and i posted here being all like ANYONE GOT RICKYS PHONE NUMBER SO I CAN CALL HIM and they were like nah.

bastards.

so there.

JohnnyNemesis
11-15-2005, 10:15 PM
Bah! I didn't have comp access that day...so I tried calling you and shit. Damn.

But see? You're the only one special enough to have my phone number!

kk lub u!!!

Sunny
11-15-2005, 10:17 PM
i do feel special. =p i was all RARRR ANGRYY back then cause i hate not being able to get in touch with people.

sdfg.

http://www.offspring.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17177 :[

JohnnyNemesis
11-15-2005, 10:18 PM
Damn, I'da loved to see you get all RARRRR SMASH AND SHIT!

Sunny
11-15-2005, 10:20 PM
well i happen to do that a lot, so not all is lost... you might one day. ;p

and wtf i need to stop losing my shit. the other day i lost my ipod and was like OH NOEZ WOE.. then i found it in a bag with some paratha bread.

:/

JohnnyNemesis
11-15-2005, 10:23 PM
Hah, I raaaaarely lose shit, because I keep everything in the same spot at all times. My wallet is always in my desk drawer, bookbag in the closet, etc.

Oh, and do you forgive me for thinking you totally flaked nonchalantly? My head has been tilted downward in shame forever.

Sunny
11-15-2005, 10:24 PM
As it should be! meanie!

i'm gonna sulk for 3 more minutes and then forgive you. MAYBE. :D

and PS. i'm sorry for sucking at life. really i am. ;/

JohnnyNemesis
11-15-2005, 10:27 PM
Aww! *hug*...nay, I'll do you one better: *huggles*

We'll try again soon, you don't suck at life, etc.

I'm off to sleep now. Peace!

Tizzalicious
11-16-2005, 12:40 AM
this is the best quote i've seen in a long time. i love how aggressive you are over hanson lyrics.


*cowers* please don't hurt me, i swear i wasn't mocking hanson.

Hahaha, I know, that was kinda lame. But you know, correcting a Hansonfan on the Hansonlyrics she posted by stuff you found on google, that's just a really stupid thing to do.

Also, I just realised I'm defending Hanson in thread where people are calling my boyfriend a pervert. This is not right.

To smash: they only guys he made look bad are guys like you because he is better than you.

Nicole
11-16-2005, 01:03 AM
Why does this stuff sound funny coming from some guys and others I'd murder for it? hmm.