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Sin Studly
11-17-2005, 06:31 PM
I just read six different versions of the Book of Revelations. I could jerk off to the Book of Revelations.

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
11-17-2005, 06:35 PM
It is pretty cool. It's hard to understand, though.

Sin Studly
11-18-2005, 03:40 AM
Basically "God pwns people".

The Talking Pie
11-18-2005, 06:23 AM
I love how the Bible comes in different versions.

the_offsprings_monkey
11-18-2005, 06:37 AM
I love how the Bible comes in different versions.
I love how it's the most shoplifted book in the USA.

Back in Black
11-18-2005, 06:47 AM
revolution is not awesome.

Little_Miss_1565
11-18-2005, 08:29 AM
Basically "God pwns people".

Fuck. That is the best synopsis of the book I've ever heard.


revolution is not awesome.

Neither is illiteracy. Revelation. Revolution. Not the same.

Sin Studly
11-18-2005, 09:18 AM
FOR HIS WRATH IS COME ; AND WHO NOW CAN STAND AGAINST IT?

So much pwnage.

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
11-18-2005, 02:48 PM
Yes. It's the most awesome book of the bible. I like when it says fire would shoot down like rain.

Sin Studly
11-18-2005, 08:14 PM
I love when it talks about the locusts with scorpion tails that will give you agonising pain for five months before it kills you, and how you'll crawl and beg for death that will not come.

wheelchairman
11-18-2005, 08:22 PM
When I was 9 years old, I read the book of Lamentations because it had the word 'lame' in the beginning. It opened my eyes to how awesome God is. And by awesome, I mean more insecure than a girl on the Offspring BBS.

Sin Studly
11-18-2005, 10:41 PM
Just imagine the_offsprings_monkey, but with the power to smite mankind down with plagues, pillars of fire, war, floods, earthquakes, etc.

Sunny
11-18-2005, 10:45 PM
When I was 9 years old, I read the book of Lamentations because it had the word 'lame' in the beginning. It opened my eyes to how awesome God is. And by awesome, I mean more insecure than a girl on the Offspring BBS.

i don't remember the last time i laughed this hard. ahahahah omg <3

Tizzalicious
11-19-2005, 03:37 AM
i don't remember the last time i laughed this hard. ahahahah omg <3

Hahahaha, me too. I read it last night, waaaay too late, I was way to tired reply, but I thought: Must.reply.tomorrow.

JoY
11-19-2005, 04:07 AM
adkhgsdg, hahahaha!

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
11-19-2005, 07:17 AM
I love when it talks about the locusts with scorpion tails that will give you agonising pain for five months before it kills you, and how you'll crawl and beg for death that will not come.

Hah, yes! I also like the part it says that the ocean's blood. Also about the Anti-Christ.

the_offsprings_monkey
11-19-2005, 07:27 AM
Just imagine the_offsprings_monkey, but with the power to smite mankind down with plagues, pillars of fire, war, floods, earthquakes, etc.
If I did have those powers I wouldn't mistreat them.

Relive1349
11-19-2005, 07:34 AM
Chapter 13

13:1
And I stood upon the sand of the sea, and saw a beast rise up out of the sea, having seven heads and ten horns, and upon his horns ten crowns, and upon his heads the name of blasphemy.

13:2
And the beast which I saw was like unto a leopard, and his feet were as the feet of a bear, and his mouth as the mouth of a lion: and the dragon gave him his power, and his seat, and great authority.

13:3
And I saw one of his heads as it were wounded to death; and his deadly wound was healed: and all the world wondered after the beast.

13:4
And they worshipped the dragon which gave power unto the beast: and they worshipped the beast, saying, Who is like unto the beast? who is able to make war with him?

13:5
And there was given unto him a mouth speaking great things and blasphemies; and power was given unto him to continue forty and two months.

13:6
And he opened his mouth in blasphemy against God, to blaspheme his name, and his tabernacle, and them that dwell in heaven.

13:7
And it was given unto him to make war with the saints, and to overcome them: and power was given him over all kindreds, and tongues, and nations.

13:8
And all that dwell upon the earth shall worship him, whose names are not written in the book of life of the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world.

13:9
If any man have an ear, let him hear.

13:10
He that leadeth into captivity shall go into captivity: he that killeth with the sword must be killed with the sword. Here is the patience and the faith of the saints.

13:11
And I beheld another beast coming up out of the earth; and he had two horns like a lamb, and he spake as a dragon.

13:12
And he exerciseth all the power of the first beast before him, and causeth the earth and them which dwell therein to worship the first beast, whose deadly wound was healed.

13:13
And he doeth great wonders, so that he maketh fire come down from heaven on the earth in the sight of men,

13:14
And deceiveth them that dwell on the earth by the means of those miracles which he had power to do in the sight of the beast; saying to them that dwell on the earth, that they should make an image to the beast, which had the wound by a sword, and did live.

13:15
And he had power to give life unto the image of the beast, that the image of the beast should both speak, and cause that as many as would not worship the image of the beast should be killed.

13:16
And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads:

13:17
And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.

13:18
Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six.

---


This part rocks.

Btw; Revelations is also a pretty good song by Iron Maiden, from the Powerslave album.

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
11-19-2005, 07:37 AM
666. Beware .

Relive1349
11-19-2005, 07:49 AM
Hail Satan, and eat a chicken.
Man, I'm hungry.

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
11-19-2005, 07:52 AM
Hail Satan, and eat a chicken.
Man, I'm hungry.

Hell no. Satan sucks.

Relive1349
11-19-2005, 07:57 AM
Have you met him?
I allways wanted to ask him why we have nerves in our teeth...

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
11-19-2005, 07:59 AM
No, and i don't want to .

Sin Studly
11-19-2005, 07:59 AM
That's a damn good question. I woulda just asked him if I could hang out with Doc Holliday and Amon Göth.

Offspring7
11-19-2005, 08:46 AM
the Doc Holliday from OK Corral?

Sin Studly
11-19-2005, 09:10 AM
Of course. He's awesome.

Relive1349
11-20-2005, 06:28 AM
That's a damn good question. I woulda just asked him if I could hang out with Doc Holliday and Amon Göth.

My question is better, sucker.

Sin Studly
11-20-2005, 08:33 AM
So? I'll be busy drinking brandy and smoking cigars with Göth and Holliday while you're soaking in the superiority of your trivial question to Satan.

Relive1349
11-20-2005, 09:46 AM
That's a deal.