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View Full Version : 50 ways to annoy a metalhead...Whatever...



Striker
11-18-2005, 09:28 AM
1. Tell them every metal band worships the devil.
2. Ask if all black metal bands are trying to copy KISS or just most of them.
3. Hide their joint under their library card.
4. Ask if they know of any other cool bands like Slipknot.
5. If they're listening to metal, tell them it sounds like some mainstream band. Doesn't matter who.
6. Say it's all a ripoff of Iron Butterfly anyway.
7. Ask if they've given their souls to Jesus yet.
8. Vaguely imply that you're gay and would like their company for the evening.
9. Record over their Cannibal Corpse albums with other Cannibal Corpse albums and see if they ever notice the difference.
10. Refuse to accept their fake I.D.
11. Ask how much Dio got paid for his role as Stuart Little.
12. Use the phrase "cookie monster vocals" and act like it's the funniest, most original thing you've ever come up with.
13. If they're listening to metal, tell them "These guys don't have talent. Now <insert any mainstream band here>, those guys have talent!"
14. Say "What is vinyl?"
15. Point out how stupid manowar is. If they agree, tell them the only thing more stupid is Black Sabbath with Dio.
16. Tell them it all sounds the same.
17. Admit that Cliff Burton was a dirty hippy who had already peaked musically.
18. If they say they love 80s metal, ask them what ever happened to Poison.
19. Tell them you like underground music too, like <insert the newest overhyped fashionable loud-ish band from the radio>
20. Point out that Tarja from Nightwish can't sing.
21. Insist that Emperor videos would be better if they used a dance troupe.
22. Ask if Mayhem is Marilyn Manson's band.
23. Divert their CD shipments to the local Jewish community center.
24. Write "God Loves You" on their Venom backpatch.
25. Point out that just about every genre of music has an underground with bands who have integrity, so metal really isn't that unique.
26. Post under their nickname on a power metal board and say Ray Alder shits all over John Arch.
27. Take out the Iron Maiden disc and put in 50 Cent.
28. Give them a spiky pop-punk haircut while they sleep.
29. Pronounce "Celtic Frost" correctly.
30. If they're over 25, say that people can still rock even if they have an unplanned child or two and drive a grocery getter. Then point and laugh.
31. Tell them you're not hiring and to try the other Cinnabon down the street.
32. Sit quietly and applaud politely at a metal show.
33. Make them be sober for five whole seconds.
34. Ask if Randy Rhoads was on the same flight as John Denver.
35. Tell them Korn brought metal back to life in the 90s.
36. Turn the bass way up on their stereo.
37. Laugh at Slayer for stealing their name from the Buffy show.
38. Call Doro fat.
39. Call them on their horrible grammar and/or spelling.
40. Remind them that metal is partially derived from the blues. Then accuse them of being wiggers.
41. Use the phrase "balls in a vice" at least three times when talking about classic metal and/or power metal vocalists.
42. If it's a guy with long hair, address him as if he were female. Don't correct yourself about it.
43. Be impressed with how much RoadRunner Records has improved over the past ten years.
44. Say you love Metallica's debut, The Black Album.
45. Notice that Lemmy hasn't moved his left hand in 30 years of playing bass.
46. Refer to metal as "that kill-your-father rape-your-mother stuff."
47. Ask them if their favorite band is so good, how come nobody has ever heard of them.
48. Pine for the good old days when Pour Some Sugar On Me was a big hit.
49. Tell them you used to be a metalhead, but grew out of it when you started listening to more intellectual stuff like <insert any band at all here>
50. Post a list of "Ways To Annoy Metal Fans" knowing full well that so many of them internalize everything and can't take a joke.

Lammat
11-18-2005, 09:32 AM
lol @ 4 :p

the_offsprings_monkey
11-18-2005, 09:35 AM
7 an 22 was funny.

Jebus
11-18-2005, 09:42 AM
9. Record over their Cannibal Corpse albums with other Cannibal Corpse albums and see if they ever notice the difference.
how do you record over cds?


Turn the bass way up on their stereo.
That's a good thing

What's sad is that I found myself getting a little pissed off even though I knew it was a joke =p

Mannen som blev en gris
11-18-2005, 09:43 AM
Loved 11. hehehe...

the_offsprings_monkey
11-18-2005, 09:51 AM
Loved 11. hehehe...
ohh I missed that one lolz

Striker
11-18-2005, 10:02 AM
Number 1 is the most annoying...

the_offsprings_monkey
11-18-2005, 10:25 AM
Number 1 is the most annoying...
Why ?

Yatesy
11-18-2005, 12:20 PM
I found some of those rather funny and I probably would get annoyed if they happened to me and I ain't even a metalhead. xD

Human
11-18-2005, 12:22 PM
I didn't read all of them...how long did it take you to come up with that?

Sunny
11-18-2005, 12:23 PM
i hate metalheads, they're subhuman for the most part.

arak0r
11-18-2005, 12:24 PM
I didn't read all of them...how long did it take you to come up with that?

those kind of lists are all over the interweb and have been for years

The Talking Pie
11-18-2005, 01:03 PM
A lot of those would only piss off Nu-Metalheads who've got one or two of their parents' Ozzy CDs, who like to pretend they know the genre.

sKratch
11-18-2005, 01:59 PM
A lot of those aren't funny unless you know a few things about metal. But they're good.

T-6005
11-18-2005, 02:37 PM
I'm not amused by most of those. Maybe I'm just in the wrong mood.

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
11-18-2005, 02:41 PM
24's the best one.

Rancid_Guyxxx
11-18-2005, 02:47 PM
I'm not amused by most of those. Maybe I'm just in the wrong mood.

Are any of them perverted?

Yatesy
11-18-2005, 02:56 PM
Are any of them perverted?


No, it's just annoying metal-heads.

Apathy
11-18-2005, 04:18 PM
I'm not sure if that would offend any metal heads in my school. They all like slipknot....

the_offsprings_monkey
11-18-2005, 04:20 PM
My school was to posh for metalheads, so I never really met many :(

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
11-18-2005, 04:37 PM
99% of my school love rap, and hate metal. 1% of my school likes rock, and dont like rap. Im part of the 1%

All About Eve
11-18-2005, 04:56 PM
1. Tell them every metal band worships the devil.

4. Ask if they know of any other cool bands like Slipknot.

16. Tell them it all sounds the same.

19. Tell them you like underground music too, like <insert the newest overhyped fashionable loud-ish band from the radio>

35. Tell them Korn brought metal back to life in the 90s.



Those would make me hurt someone. I'm not a complete metal head, but enough of one for those to piss me off.

NDM1
11-18-2005, 07:56 PM
I'm just waiting for Dave to show up here...

dalaksta
11-18-2005, 08:03 PM
hey im a metal head
this is offensive!!!!


jk
i dont mind
i think its kinda funny

Striker
11-22-2005, 02:46 AM
Nimrod In Town']99% of my school love rap, and hate metal. 1% of my school likes rock, and dont like rap. Im part of the 1%

damn, your school sucks

Yatesy
11-22-2005, 03:11 AM
My school was full of chavs that listened to dance music. However there were a few who listened to half decent music.

mrconeman
11-22-2005, 07:53 AM
34. Ask if Randy Rhoads was on the same flight as John Denver.
:( Not funny.