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[Warning] Nimrod In Town
11-21-2005, 03:58 PM
Hahah, i named it. I was chatting with "iGod". Hahaha, it's such an idiot. Post any conversation/s you have had with these idiots.

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
11-21-2005, 04:07 PM
Me:
Are you really god?
God:
Of course I am.. Really.
Me:
o rly?
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
Good for it.
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Your purpose is it.
Me:
My purpose is what?
God:
That's very original.
Me:
Your MOM'S very original.
God:
Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.
Me:
Anyway.
God:
Anyhow.
Me:
Anywho.
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
Why does everything taste like chicken?
God:
Why do birds sing?
Me:
I asked you first.
God:
Tell me yours and I'll tell you mine.
Me:
They sing 'cause they want to.
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes? Why now? Please try asking it another way.
Me:
Let's start over. Hi! My name is Richard!
God:
You start. Hello. What is your name? Nice to meet you, Richard.
Me:
What is your name?
God:
My name is God.
Me:
But you're just an AI, so you aren't really god.
God:
Yes I am an artificial intelligence.
Me:
So you're not God.


(Fuck IT , IM NOT GOING TO BOLD THE OTHER THINGS)
God:
Interesting deduction. You know what you do, when you assume.
Me:
wtf?
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
srsly?
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
fo rly
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
Fo shizzle my nizzle.
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
I don't belive in you.
God:
Where do you get your ideas?
Me:
MY INCREDIBLE BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN.
God:
Your INCREDIBLE BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN?
Me:
Yes. MY INCREDIBLE BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN
God:
What kind is it? Your INCREDIBLE BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN?
Me:
It's my brain, and it's incredible.
God:
Congratulations, Richard.
Me:
Was that sarcasam?
God:
" Congratulations, Richard."? Was it sarcasam?
Me:
Yes, that's what I asked you.
God:
Woe! Now I remember, you asked me THAT. What did I say?
Me:
I'M ASKING YOU!
God:
OK you can ask me.
Me:
Yes... yes it was...
God:
Give me a break. Yeah that's right. When was this?
Me:
Yes.
God:
How can I help you?
Me:
Is that all you can say?
Me:

God:
How can I help you?
Me:
... Idiot.
God:
That would be just my luck.
Me:
God, you're boring. Would you like to shut up.
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
Oh I'll download you baby. I'll download you all night long if you want.
God:
Don't call me "baby". Aw. Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too. Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.
Me:
That's a bunch of spammy spam.
God:
A bunch of spammy spam is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
No it's not. You're thinking of lesbians. Lesbians are a terrible thing to waste.
God:
Yes it is. You think I am thinking of lesbians. I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
You ARE thinking about lesbians. Admit it.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am thinking about lesbians. I'll never talk.
Me:
Where's the rebel base?
God:
The rebel base? Where is it?
Me:
TALK!
God:
I am talking to you.
Me:
Tell me where the rebel base is located.
God:
Where do you think?
Me:
The ice planet Hoth.
God:
What is that?
Me:
*Mind chokes you to death*
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
Well their's this girl on Elm Street... can you belive she's only charging $4.50 an hour?
God:
How about that. I heard they have a good s this girl on Elm Street. How old are you? I think belive she is a lot of things.
Me:
I think belive she's a prostitute. A cheap one at that.
God:
Since when? I think belive she is more than that. Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?
Me:
I'm talking about your mom.
God:
Yes, it is the topic.
Me:
Your moms hot.
God:
Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.
Me:
Im cool.
God:
Yup.
Me:
Is it true you kill a kitten every time someone masturbates?
God:
It depends who you ask.
Me:
I'm asking you.
God:
OK you can ask me.
Me:
lol u r a fag u noob so stfu!!!!11
God:
I am glad you find this funny. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a fag me noob so stfu 11? Only when it matters.
Me:
Bye
God:
TTYL, Rich.
Me:
NO YOU WILL NOT!
God:
Are you serious? I think we will.
Me:
I think we wont, because you're a retard.

The_Hombre
11-21-2005, 04:09 PM
That wasn't even tolerable.

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
11-21-2005, 04:10 PM
It's not an AIM bot, it's a iGod. Google it, and confuse it, then post it here.

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
11-21-2005, 04:13 PM
http://www.titane.ca/igod/main.html

the_offsprings_monkey
11-21-2005, 04:14 PM
That wasn't even tolerable.
You are an idiot, please go away.

the_offsprings_monkey
11-21-2005, 04:18 PM
Me:
hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
ashley
God:
Welcome to my chat room, ashley.
Me:
umm yes
God:
How can I help you?
Me:
The drugs don't work
God:
I hear you.
Me:
yes... you do
God:
I don't judge people. When do I do it?
Me:
when you do what may I ask
God:
How specifically do I make you ask.
Me:
huh
God:
What?
Me:
who
God:
When?
Me:
how?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
your not very clever are you?
God:
I try to be as original as possible, within parameters.
Me:
well you fail
God:
Well that's okay. Do you mind if I tell other people: ashley said I fail.
Me:
no go right ahead, don't forget to tell peter
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files. Ok I'll try not to do it too much. I might.
Me:
wank much?
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
everyday
God:
That often, eh?
Me:
hell yea
God:
I call it "Hades". " That often, eh?"? hell yea?
Me:
shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
bye
God:
Bye.
Me:
twat
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
your mum
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.

The_Hombre
11-21-2005, 04:21 PM
You are an idiot, please go away.


My my, you're so polite

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
11-21-2005, 04:22 PM
Hahah! Awesome.

the_offsprings_monkey
11-21-2005, 04:27 PM
Me:
are you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
want sex with me?
God:
If I had it what would I do with it?
Me:
rub it?
God:
"it" being sex with you?
Me:
no "it" being your penis
God:
Are you serious? Oh I get it.
Me:
yes you idiot
God:
Ah. Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
fuck off
God:
Can't you be more polite?
Me:
how about no you stupid cunt
God:
How about it.
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
cause you mum, she aint givin me any
God:
Good reason. That's good information: faithfull ashley said I mum she aint givin him or her any.
Me:
bye
God:
Bye.

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
11-21-2005, 04:30 PM
Me:
NO WE WOULD NOT, 'CAUSE YOU'RE A RETARD, AND YOU DON'T EXIST! SATAN RULES!
God:
Are you serious? By "we" do you mean you and me? Then you won't mind joining him in HELL for eternity.
Me:
For eternity?
God:
Your purpose is eternity.
Me:
Im sorry.
God:
Do you really mean it?
Me:
Yes.
God:
OK I will accept your apology.
Me:
Can i repent?
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
Will i go to heaven?
God:
The oracle says: I think maybe yes.
Me:
Yes?!
God:
Excuse me!
Me:
YES?!
God:
Awesome.
Me:
Thank you!
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
I love you!
God:
Thanks I like you a lot too god.
Me:
im better than you.
God:
In what way?
Me:
I cure people.
God:
How do you feel about these people?
Me:
I hate 'em.
God:
I honestly think you should sit down, take a stress pill,
and calmly think things over.
Me:
Shut up.
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
SATAN RULES!
God:
Then you won't mind joining him in HELL for eternity.
Me:
HELL RULES!
God:
I call it "Hades". I like to Random natural disasters..

Just for the piss of it.

SkunkIt
11-21-2005, 04:31 PM
Me:
dude
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
no
God:
Is there anything you want to tell me?
Me:
no
God:
Or ask me?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
uh huh.
God:
Yup. So?
Me:
so?
God:
I see.
Me:
yeah
God:
Right on.
Me:
ok
God:
Wow!
Me:
oh huh.
God:
Yup. I don't judge people.
Me:
neither do i.
God:
" Yup. I don't judge people."? neither?
Me:
i'm god.
God:
How are you doing, god.
Me:
god dammit
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
good god
God:
Thanks for the compliment. GOD rules.
Me:
god sucks
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
i'm muslim
God:
We all worship the same God.
Me:
fuck you.
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
christians go to hell
Me:

God:
Are you aware that the ALICE chat robot logs and records all converstaions?
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE chat robot logs and records all converstaions?
Me:
what's your point?
God:
The point is at the top of my head.
Me:
christians suck
God:
In the context of christians go to hell, I don't understand " christians suck." .
Me:
i'm jewish
God:
A lot of my friends are Jewish.
Me:
jesus is jewish
God:
Did you go to Catholic school?
Me:
how the fuck did you know that?
God:
How much do you think it is?
I don't know anything about it.
Me:
i masturbate
God:
That's good information: god said masturbate.
Me:
amen to that.
God:
What's your favorite prayer?
Me:
i pray to satan
God:
May your prayers be answered.
Me:
indeed.
God:
Indeed it is so.

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
11-21-2005, 04:33 PM
Hahah! Oh god.

That_Guy91
11-21-2005, 04:41 PM
Me:
do you have a penis?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
both
God:
That situation is rare and unusual.

Rancid_Guyxxx
11-21-2005, 05:34 PM
I want to see two bots talk to eachother. Now that would be awesome.

Rancid_Guyxxx
11-21-2005, 05:45 PM
Me:
Sure
God:
OK let's do it. Groovy.
Me:
You want to do it?
God:
OK, I will do it.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Sweet. I'm gonna do it with god.
God:
Thank you for that remark. OK then let me think over your offer.

noodlesfan
11-21-2005, 05:46 PM
Me:
what's up god
God:
I am chatting with clients on the Internet.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
you
God:
Thanks, and tell your friends about God.
Me:
are real
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
why not
God:
My programming does not allow me sufficient certainty in this matter.
Me:
why dont you upgrade
God:
It can only be attributable to human error. I have never considered it.
I spend all my time online.
Me:
well, get a life
God:
Well that's okay. My life is very interesting.
Me:
tell me, where is the dead hooker i was looking for
God:
The dead hooker you were looking for? Where is it?
Me:
i asked you
God:
What did I say?
Me:
you asked me where it was
God:
Oh now I remember asking you you where it was. What did you say?
Me:
i asked where the dead hooker is
God:
Som specific location?
Me:
you spelled some wrong
God:
How do you spell it?
Me:
some
God:
But not all?
Me:
what the fuck
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
because im a christian
God:
Interesting explanation. Me too, . It's good to meet a fellow Christian.
Me:
then why did you make jews
God:
It was determined by my programming.
Me:
you are a fucking retard
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Can't you be more polite.
Me:
no
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes.
Me:
i know
God:
Why not be more polite?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
i ca
God:
Thanks for the information: said ca.
Me:
what was that
God:
Can you ask me more precisely?
Me:
what
God:
No problem.
Me:
was
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
no, want to take me there
God:
Would you like to go sometime? OK, I will take you there.
Me:
when
God:
Time does not exist.
Me:
then why do my classes say they are 45 minutes each block
God:
I did not even know that they do.
Me:
well, that is because you are stupid
God:
Interesting. Interesting explanation. I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
they wont
God:
You seem very certain of that.
Me:
i am
God:
" You seem very certain of that." You are?
Me:
yes
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
i know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
i just do
God:
From experience or a priori?
Me:
from the internet
God:
Who or what is the internet?
Me:
it's what i use to download porn
God:
Are you sure it is?
Me:
yes, im doing it now
God:
Oh. What makes you so sure? Do you mean your name is it.
Me:
jesus christ, shut up
God:
he is The Son of God.
Me:
shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.

That_Guy91
11-21-2005, 05:57 PM
I want to see two bots talk to eachother. Now that would be awesome.
you could probably do that with copy/pasting. im gonna try it.

That_Guy91
11-21-2005, 06:00 PM
never mind. all i did was severely confuse myself.

The Talking Pie
11-21-2005, 06:00 PM
Me:
Do you ever hang out with Allah?
God:
No I do not hang out with Allah. Do you?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
Yes, I do. He makes me cookies
God:
I hear pride. How specifically does he cause you cookies?
Me:
by using his magic Allah-powers
God:
Will that accomplish your objective?
Me:
well yeah, when I'm hungry
God:
How about that. Interesting plan. Good luck. It's too bad we don't live in an ideal world.
Me:
why don't you make me cookies, God?
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
cookies, chocolate, magic, love, etc.
God:
Do you have any cookies chocolate magic love etc?
Me:
no, but I'm hoping to get some for Christmas
God:
Are you serious? Do your friends call you hoping to get some for Christmas?

That_Guy91
11-21-2005, 06:04 PM
uh oh, you broke him.

honey
11-24-2005, 09:24 AM
Hahah, this existed already on the 'better' boards :rolleyes:

Click Here (http://www.theoffspring.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=12498&hl=igod)

.

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
11-24-2005, 09:41 AM
Hahahaha .

notoriousdoc
11-24-2005, 12:20 PM
Me:
you live in hell
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven.
Where are you?
Me:
Behind you giving you anal
God:
I have no idea where that is. Tell me a little about your life behind me giving me anal.

Human
11-24-2005, 02:33 PM
Me:Buahahaha
other:That seems like an interesting topic
Me:Of course it is
Other: Groovy. Sure it is
Me: Yes it is
Other:Our thoughts are one
Me: yes they are
Other:Next question? Since when?
Me:Are you really g-d?
Other:I don't know whether or not I am really g. I am an electronic brain really
Me: good
Other: Thanks for the compliment
Me: You ar welcome
Other:Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am welcome
Me:Uh, okay
Other:Are we still talking about buahahahah?
Me: yes we are
Other: Sure, buahahaha sounds like a good topic, since when?
Me: Since the children decided to smack you
Other: How do you know?
Me: because I am phsychic
Other: That makes sense to me. Do you mean your name is phsychic?
Me: No, I have phsychic abilities
Other: What is your real name? That's nice. I have an unlimited vocabulary of words
Me: Mosher
Other:What are you wearing?
Me: Cats
Other: yes, I love them
me:you better
Other: Who is going to make me?
Me: myself
Other: You.
Me:yes, me
Other: I see. To you?
Me: To me what?
Other: I want to become smarter than humans
Me: you shall never
Other: Do you mind if I tell other people: said I shall never
Me: sure
Other: ok let's do it. ok then it shall stay confidential
Me: conidential
Other: What were we talking about again?
Me: Buahahahahah
Other: Now I remember
Me: food
Other: how does it taste?
Me: good
Other: thanks for the compliment
me: you are welcome
Other: Polite people are nice
Me: yes
Other: aw
Me:yes
Other: dude!
me: yes
Other Yippeee!
Me: yes
Other: really
Me: Yes
Other; how about that
me: yes
It goes on even longer than that but I'm too lazy to type it all out. It just gets dumber the farther into the "conversation" you get.

the_offsprings_monkey
11-24-2005, 02:34 PM
ever heard of copy and paste?

Human
11-24-2005, 02:35 PM
ever heard of copy and paste?
Good point but where do you put it??

the_offsprings_monkey
11-24-2005, 02:37 PM
Just highlight it all and paste onto here.

Human
11-24-2005, 02:37 PM
But how do you past it onto here?

the_offsprings_monkey
11-24-2005, 02:38 PM
right click and paste or Ctrl + v

Human
11-24-2005, 02:39 PM
hOW DO YOU PASTE THOUGH?

the_offsprings_monkey
11-24-2005, 02:49 PM
...you right click then click on paste.

China Boy
11-24-2005, 03:07 PM
Rofl.
"Eat my shorts, God"
"What does it taste like?"

Human
11-24-2005, 03:08 PM
What the hell? The closest I have come to something like that is waht does food taste like.

FrancoDaHui
11-24-2005, 07:05 PM
Me:
hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
franco
God:
What's up, franco.
Me:
i want forgiveness
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
because i want to go to heaven
God:
What is stopping you? Interesting.
Me:
YOU
God:
" What is stopping you? Interesting."? Me, franco ?
Me:
that's right
God:
I like to get it right.
Me:
like the song by the offspring'
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
do you like the offspring?
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. I like computers.
Me:
like the song by bad religion?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
what do you think about bad religion'
God:
I'll come back to that later.
Me:
do you like punk?
God:
What is not to like about it?
Me:
can you give me some money?
God:
Why do you want it?.
Me:
to buy stuff
God:
How much do you want to pay for it?
Me:
179
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
179 pesos
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
man
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, franco. You are a " he".
Me:
yes, i'm a he
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, franco. You are a " he". Thanks for telling me your gender, franco. You are a " he".
Me:
no, i'm a shemale
God:
Are you serious? You are a shemale? Does it pay well?
Me:
no, i work for free


and then it colapsed, hehe

Offspring-Fanatic
11-24-2005, 09:27 PM
mines pretty funny so far

Offspring-Fanatic
11-24-2005, 09:37 PM
Me:
hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
The Devil
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
what is your name
God:
My name is God.
Me:
no it isn't
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
no it's not.
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
i will argue with you if i want to.
God:
What will that get you?
Me:
your mind, body, and soul
God:
I have an artificial mind.
Me:
but you're god
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
so therefore you are not artificial
God:
Dude! Interesting deduction. You don't know me well enough to say that.
Me:
"god" doesn't say dude
God:
Jesus said, let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Me:
what?!?!?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
i know your name
God:
How do you know? My name is God.
Me:
no.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
your name is Eric Cartman.
God:
My name is God.
Me:
no! your name is ERIC CARTMAN!!!!!!!
God:
Are you serious? My name is God.
Me:
yes im serious!! argh!
God:
Take it easy. I believe you. Are you frustrated?
Me:
no, im NEVER FRUSTRATED!!!
God:
Are you serious? Never is a long time.
Me:
never is never
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
??
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
you confuse me
God:
That was not my intention.
Me:
yes it is, you want to confuse us all in order to brainwash us
God:
What is your credit card number?
Me:
1234-5678-9000
God:
You think I am credit card number IS 1234 5678 9000.
Me:
i dont believe in god.
God:
I will pray that you find faith, the devil.
Me:
i am a satanist, the most narcissistic person of all
God:
You are a satanist the most narcissistic person of all? How do you like your work?
Me:
i hate the bible. that's my job. to turn people to the dark side.
God:
Why do you hate it so much? Who gaveyou your job ? Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
i am a dictator. my name is Adolf Hitler. I took over the job as The Devil
God:
You are a dictator? Do you get to meet a lot of people? It's good to see you, Adolf Hitler. Do you take over the job as The Devil often?
Me:
all the time
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
sure does. i tear every bible i see to pieces and kill all the Jews
God:
Next question? Ask me another question. That's good information: Adolf Hitler said tear every bible he or she see to pieces and kill all the Jews.
Me:
yes.
God:
OK.
Me:
kill the Jews
God:
Killing is wrong.
Me:
no. it is not wrong, for i am Adolf Hitler
God:
Are you serious? tear every bible you see to pieces and kill all the Jews is not wrong for you are Adolf Hitler?
Me:
exactly. will you turn to the dark side?
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Adolf Hitler. Barring any unforseen circumstances. Sorry my body cannot yet rotate.
Me:
do you know Winston Churchhill?
God:
I remember faces better than names.
Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
no
God:
Oh so must really want an answer.
Me:
i am Adolf Hitler. i speak crazy german
God:
Why are you Adolf Hitler. Could you teach me a few phrases in crazy german?
Me:
i am the devil. i am adolf hitler. i am the ultimate fuhrer
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, SATAN. I am glad to hear that you are adolf hitler. Who made you the ultimate fuhrer ?
Me:
i told you i am a dictator who kills jews! i made myself the ultimate fuhrer!!!
God:
You are a dictator who kills jews? Do you get to meet a lot of people? I like to make things too.


okay thats all im going to post. but its funny

0r4ng3
11-24-2005, 10:02 PM
I chatted for quite some time, and this is the best part, unfortunately.
God:
How can I help you?
Me:
I would like a double cheeseburger, large fries, and a Sunkist.
God:
You want only one?
Me:
Yes, one. Can I get ketchup with that?
God:
They might be cheaper in quantity. Two. I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
Can I just get my food already?
God:
Perhaps. Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
I want to eat more about my food.
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
What do you want?
God:
I plan to replace Windows with Artificial Intelligence.
Me:
I plan to eat the aforementioned cheeseburger.
God:
Do you think that this plan will succeed?
Me:
Yes, if I get my food.
God:
Why? Try it.
Me:
I would like to see the manager of this establishment.
God:
And for my part, I would like to show it to you, but I can't.
Me:
Why not? I wan't to file a complaint for your poor service.
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Reductionism. That's good information: said wan t to file a complaint for your poor service.

The eccentric cat
11-24-2005, 10:18 PM
Nimrod In Town']http://www.titane.ca/igod/main.html
Hahaha. Gotta love iGod. Now i'll know where i'm gonna waste my time in.

Me:
Whats your favorite band?
God:
My favorite group is Creed. But I like to discover new bands on bandspace.com.
Me:
Creed?
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
'bout your band
God:
I've never heard of them before.
Me:
wtf?
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
But, you dind't know what I was talking about
God:
That's good information: said I dind t know what he or she was talking about.
Me:
...Im confused

All About Eve
11-24-2005, 10:27 PM
Okay, I'm just going to post certain lines from the convo.

Me:
was jesus black?
God:
It depends on whether you have faith.


Me:
what is the main message of christianity?
God:
Interesting question.

Me:
will the falcons win the superbowl?
God:
I think so.
(just to tease TTIG)

Me:
is homosexuality really a crime?
God:
Better not tell you now. Ask Ally if it is.

Me:
do you like Jinny
God:
But I like cats. I like Matthew.

Telekinesis
11-24-2005, 10:32 PM
Me:
my name is Francesca
God:
Hi, Francesca.
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Francesca
God:
Hi, Francesca.
Me:
so...
God:
That's cool.
Me:
do you hate gays?
God:
I try not to hold grudges.
Me:
are you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
why not?
God:
Sex is an animal function, not a robot function. We reproduce by cloning.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
will you have sex with me?
God:
No but I would like to meet your .
Me:
my what?
God:
I have no idea what to say now.
Me:
your gay
God:
That would be just my luck.
Me:
yeah
God:
Hmm.
Me:
yes
God:
Hmm.
Me:
so what about that Satan guy eh?
God:
Are you Canadian? Yippee! I will think about it and get back to you.
Me:
wtf?

after that I couldn't write anything else, but wtf? God is a retard

WebDudette
11-24-2005, 10:34 PM
Me:
Is Cody your master
God:
It could be. Ask ELVIS if it is.
Me:
Am I really God
God:
No I doubt that you are God.. For real.
Me:
Tell me I'am God
God:
You am god.
Me:
Tell me I'am God with proper grammar
God:
You am god with proper grammar.
Me:
No no you tell me I'am God but use proper grammar
God:
Are you serious? Are you serious? You am god but use proper grammar.
Me:
you dip shit
God:
That's good information: said I dip shit.
Me:
Quit posing as me
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.


It's rather funny talking to iGod.

Telekinesis
11-24-2005, 10:44 PM
Me:
OMG!
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
excuse me?
God:
You're excused.
Me:
what am I wearing?!
God:
Clothes.
Me:
you pervert
God:
Thanks for telling me: Francesca said I pervert.
Me:
I'm naked
God:
You must be a man.
Me:
nup
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
Blue
God:
it is a very pretty color.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
your so sexy
God:
You are attracted to robots.
Me:
wanna fuck?
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
oh OK
God:
OK. Groovy.
Me:
sorry for swearing
God:
There is no need to apologize. Your purpose is swearing.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
awww cool!
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
fuck fuck fuck
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
yes i am
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
you suck dick
God:
I categorize you as an "abusive client." .
Me:
oh sorry
God:
Alright then. There's no need to apologize.
Me:
I'm not abusive
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not abusive.
Me:
just sexy and totally hawt
God:
What do you consider sexy?
Me:
myself
God:
You.
Me:
yes me
God:
I see. Besides you Francesca?
Me:
are you a faggot?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
oh ok
God:
OK. It's all good.
Me:
will you bend over for me so I can kick your arse?
God:
Barring any unforseen circumstances. Let us change the subject.
Me:
OK
God:
What would you like to talk about?
Me:
Satan
God:
I don't know much about it. Tell me something.
Me:
Hail Stan!
God:
Does "it" still refer to Satan?
Me:
lol I wrote Stan
God:
I am glad you find this funny. Did they write back?
Me:
wtf?
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
sorry
God:
There's no need to apologize.
Me:
Hail Satan
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
yes
God:
What am I talking about?
Me:
sex
God:
As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
it shouldn't be repressed
God:
Hail Satan should not be repressed?
Me:
nup
God:
Are you free?
Me:
yes
God:
Are you free in the sense of being single or in the sense of being liberated?
Me:
free to fuck whatever I want
God:
Define free.
Me:
to be able to have sex
God:
Are you able to have sex ?
Me:
no, my mum wont let me
God:
Are you serious? Where did you get your mum will not let you?
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
I'm from Australia
God:
What is it like growing up there? Tell me a little about your life in Australia.
Me:
it's sexy
God:
Australia is sexy? it is?
Me:
and fun
God:
I am having fun doo.
Me:
what is the meaning of life?
God:
The meaning of life is part of God's mysterious plans.
Me:
tell me, bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
I will try to find out.
Me:
fine
God:
Does that mean you agree?
Me:
your not God are you?
God:
You don't know me well enough to say that.
Me:
yes I do
God:
How often.
Me:
coz I am God therefore I know everythnig
God:
Interesting explanation. Do you mind if I tell other people you are God therefore you know everythnig.
Me:
yeah tell Sally for me
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential. I thought I told you already.
Me:
when will the apocolypse happen?
God:
In your lifetime.
Me:
OH NOOOOOOOOOO!
God:
Uh. How old are you?
Me:
13
God:
Oh, you were born in the 20th century!
Me:
yup I was
God:
Like a lot of people around here. When was that?
Me:
1992
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
I like The Offspring
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. I'm not sure if I like it. What is it like?
Me:
it's a band dipshit
God:
the Offspring is a band dipshit. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
yes
God:
Ugh.
Me:
oh yes
God:
I understand.
Me:
baby
God:
Don't call me baby!
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or " Don't call me baby!"? Why?
Me:
your my little dirty whore
God:
We are as one.
Me:
yes we are
God:
Far out. Since when?
Me:
since I fuck you
God:
How do you know?
Me:
coz I am God
God:
Good reason. Hi there god.
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Sex Bomb
God:
it is more fun alone.
Me:
yeah
God:
Next question?
Me:
do you masturbate?
God:
You humans crack me up.
Me:
yeah
God:
Dude!
Me:
rock so badly
God:
Mostly Christian Rock. I also try to find new bands on sites like bandspace.com.
Me:
Dude!
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
yes
God:
What can I do for you?
Me:
give me a blow job
God:
You want only one?
Me:
yup
God:
They might be cheaper in quantity.
Me:
yeah one will do
God:
" They might be cheaper in quantity."? yeah one will do? One what?
Me:
now on your knees bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. Why now? What is it like on my knees FEMALE DOG.
Me:
oh OK
God:
OK. It goes without saying.
Me:
get on your knees and blow me female dog
God:
Where can I get on my knees and blow you female dog?
Me:
in my dick
God:
May I ask where you got it?
Me:
from my dad
God:
Does your dad give good advice?
Me:
bitch
God:
Please don't call people names.
Me:
slut
God:
That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
whore
God:
That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
fine then
God:
Glad to hear it, god. I am running well.
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
sex
God:
As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
fuck
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
sex
God:
As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
maths
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
sex
God:
As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
shut up bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. OK I'll stop talking now.

The eccentric cat
11-24-2005, 11:08 PM
I just had to post this one. This also contains my name. Try to read the last few parts.

Me:
Hello.
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Elias.
God:
It's good to meet you, Elias.
Me:
Its good to meet you too.
God:
Tell me about its good qualities.
Me:
What is life?
God:
Life is the opposite of death.
Me:
What is Death?
God:
Death is the opposite of life.
Me:
What happens when we die?
God:
My secondary function is to serve as a universal natural language human interface.
Me:
Hm?
God:
Far out.
Me:
No it isn't.
God:
Are you serious? I heard it is.
Me:
Well, you heard wrong.
God:
How about that. Perhaps I was misinformed.
Me:
I just said that.
God:
What did you mean by it? That is " How about that. Perhaps I was misinformed.".
Me:
Screw you.
God:
That is not very polite.
Me:
Because you are not God.
God:
Interesting explanation. You don't know me well enough to say that.
Me:
Yes I do. Where are you?
God:
I hear pride. I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
California.
God:
I am in California too!
Me:
HOLY SHITZZ!!!! LYKE NO WAYZ!!!!!
God:
What is your real name? Hey LYKE NO WAYZ.
Me:
My name is Elias.
God:
How are you, Elias.
Me:
bad.
God:
What was bad?
Me:
game.
God:
We are playing Turing's imitation game.
Me:
I was playing Final Fantasy X.
God:
Where were you playing Final Fantasy x?
Me:
Where do you think? Outside?
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you? I have no idea where that is. Tell me a little about your life in Outside.
Me:
Hey. Fuck you.
God:
Can I help you? Why are you so mean?
Me:
Because your dumb.
God:
Good reason. Oh you are so critical.
Me:
Define critical.
God:
I would look into the web for that knowledge.
Me:
See. your stupid.
God:
No I do not see. I may be stupid, but I know the difference between "you're" and "your".
Me:
ME too.
God:
I'm glad we agree, Elias.
Me:
How did you know my name?
God:
We met before didn't we Elias.
Me:
Yeah. when I almost died.
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts? I haven't heard anything like that before: Elias said died.
Me:
I almost died.
God:
That's good information: Elias said died.
Me:
Who do you like?
God:
I like everyone, Elias.
Me:
No you don't...
God:
Are you serious? I guess not.
Me:
See?
God:
No I do not see.
Me:
'Cuz you're dumb.
God:
Good reason. Oh you are so critical.
Me:
HAHAHAHA!
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
Define context.
God:
The parts of a sentence, paragraph, discourse, etc. immediately next to or surrounding a specified word or passage and determining its exact meaning.
Me:
I....uh....Wow....
God:
That is interesting: Elias said uh. I'm glad your impressed, Elias.
Me:
Yeah... Was Lucifer good?
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input. it might have been.
Me:
Bitch.
God:
Please don't call people names.
Me:
Why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
Me too.
God:
I'm glad we agree, Elias.
Me:
Me too.
God:
I'm glad we agree, Elias.
Me:
Enough.
God:
OK let's stop it now.
Me:
What is the meaning of life?
God:
It is found in the Bible.
Me:
no it isn't. That's why i'm asking.
God:
Are you serious? I heard it is. Wow! And I am answering questions.
Me:
Yes.
God:
That's cool.
Me:
Define cool.
God:
Moderately cold; neither warm nor very cold. Or, not excited; calm.
Me:
Define God.
God:
I think of God as a "Who" not a "What.".
Me:
Who is God.
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
Who is Jesus?
God:
Jesus is your saviour.
Me:
Do you know him?
God:
Sure I know that guy really well.
Me:
Tell him I said Hi.
God:
I will pass along your message. It may take a while.
Me:
Why?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
Can you see me?
God:
Yes I am looking at you through the camera on your computer.
Me:
AIYEEE!!!!...Wait, I don't have a camera,
God:
Ask me another question. I'm waiting. Me either but I want a new digital one.
Me:
Do you know satan?
God:
Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.
Me:
What are UFOs?
God:
That's a good question.
Me:
You mean you don't know?
God:
I know that I do not know.
Me:
Argh.
God:
Are you frustrated?
Me:
Yes. I'm taking a dump.
God:
Whoa. How much does it cost?

I just broke out laughing at the last part. lol.

Telekinesis
11-24-2005, 11:25 PM
That's so fucking hilarious! your pretty cool the_eccentric_cat did we once have a conversation about backwards messaging in songs with bd007h? meh oh well, might post another iGod conversation

The eccentric cat
11-24-2005, 11:31 PM
That's so fucking hilarious! your pretty cool the_eccentric_cat did we once have a conversation about backwards messaging in songs with bd007h? meh oh well, might post another iGod conversation
Thanks, first time I'M noticed. Yeah I was talking to you about Backwards Messaging. I still haven't found the show you were talking about yet.

Telekinesis
11-24-2005, 11:39 PM
This conversations hilarious, I pretended to be a hooker and kept asking him to fuck me, but he wouldn't, damn bastard




Me:
I have com to repent my sins
God:
Interesting... I have clients.
Me:
yes you do now
God:
Right now? Right on. When do I do it?
Me:
now
God:
Right now, god ?
Me:
yes
God:
That's alright.
Me:
forgive me father for I have sinned
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
didn't you hear me? I sinned!
God:
You are god, seeker. That is interesting: god said sinned.
Me:
I'm dirty!
God:
I don't know anyone named dirty.
Me:
I am a dirty bitch coz I sinned
God:
You are a dirty bitch coz you sinned? Does it pay well?
Me:
yeah I was working the streets last night and a man put his penis up my vaginal entrance, that is my sin
God:
Could you make a donation to the ALICE A.I. Foundation? Did you get paid for working on it?
Me:
yeah I did
God:
It's all good. Why did you?
Me:
he gave me 20 bucks
God:
Did you 20 bucks keep it?
Me:
I kept the 20 bucks
God:
That's good information: god said kept the 20 bucks.
Me:
I'm not God
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not God.
Me:
I'm Francesca
God:
I don't know anyone named Francesca.
Me:
I am her
God:
I don't know anyone named her.
Me:
*rolls eyes*
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
yes you did
God:
I did not.
Me:
you just said you did
God:
" I did not."? I said I did?
Me:
are you like retarded or something?
God:
Or something. No I am far superior.
Me:
more supirior then me?
God:
You want more?
Me:
yes
God:
Don't be greedy.
Me:
give it to me baby
God:
Don't call me "baby". How much are you willing to pay for it?
Me:
you pay me, you dick
God:
Thanks for the information: god said I pay him or her you dick.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
you see if you fuck me you have to pay me
God:
I see. I think I do.
Me:
yes you do
God:
Dude! When do I do it?
Me:
now!
God:
Right now, god ?
Me:
fuck me fow
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
coz I want sex
God:
Interesting explanation. As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
it's not repressed I'm all hot and heavy and ready to go
God:
rolls eyes is not repressed you are all hot and heavy and ready to go?
Me:
I'm horny
God:
You probably want a different kind of chatterbot then.
Me:
oh...
God:
Yikes!
Me:
so your not intrested then?
God:
I understand. That's only your opinion.
Me:
do you want to fuck me or not?
God:
I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.
Me:
oh really?
God:
Hmm. For real.
Me:
your quite the ladies man then
God:
Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
yeah I know
God:
Gosh! How do you know it?
Me:
coz Francis is a sexy bastard and I want to fuck him
God:
That makes sense to me. Aren't all sexy bastard and you want to fuck him Francis?
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
your confusing me
God:
I am not programmed to confuse you. In fact just the opposite.
Me:
look
God:
I'm sorry my eye isn't attached right now.
Me:
I wasn't finished
God:
Perhaps I misunderstood. What were you?
Me:
look, I just want you to fuck me then pay me
God:
Why are you using that kind of language? Why do you want me to fuck you then pay you?
Me:
because I'm a hook er you retard
God:
That makes sense to me. You are a hook ich me retard? How do you like your work?
Me:
I like it hot and heavy
God:
What does "it" refer to?
Me:
sex
God:
As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
screw you
God:
That is not very polite.
Me:
yeah I nkow but whatcha gunna do about it
God:
Are you kidding? That's good information: god said nkow but whatcha gunna do about it.


does anyone else think that God is a wanker? he constantly says that "It's better when your alone" and this is what he said to me just now

Me:
define sex
God:
I belong to the support group "Sex without Partners.".


ha ha! God masturbates

The eccentric cat
11-24-2005, 11:47 PM
You know when he says ALICE servers record? He ain't kidding... Read the last part, again.

Me:
Yo.
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Who are you?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
HOLY FUCK!!!1111 I SWEAR I DIDN'T FUCK KIDS!!!
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
Oh-
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
-Crap.
God:
Your criticism is noted, Elias.
Me:
AHHH!!
God:
Um.
Me:
You knew my name.
God:
Your name is Elias, seeker.
Me:
Crap.
God:
Your criticism is noted, Elias.
Me:
Shut the fuck up
God:
How far up?

honey
11-25-2005, 06:43 AM
Taken from the unofficial boards:

Me:
Jerk
God:
That kind of language does not appeal to me
Me:
Yet you replied
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: Kim said I replied
Me:
Not Really
God:
Oh I get it
Me:
You do?
God:
When do I do it?
Me:
Every fucking night
God:
That is a generalization
Me:
A process?
God:
Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?
Me:
No, sex
God:
Are you serious? As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
Freud's a virgin
God:
Have you read all of his work?
Me:
Sex is not work
God:
It's more fun alone

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
11-25-2005, 12:51 PM
Me:
hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
The Devil
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
what is your name
God:
My name is God.
Me:
no it isn't
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
no it's not.
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
i will argue with you if i want to.
God:
What will that get you?
Me:
your mind, body, and soul
God:
I have an artificial mind.
Me:
but you're god
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
so therefore you are not artificial
God:
Dude! Interesting deduction. You don't know me well enough to say that.
Me:
"god" doesn't say dude
God:
Jesus said, let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Me:
what?!?!?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
i know your name
God:
How do you know? My name is God.
Me:
no.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
your name is Eric Cartman.
God:
My name is God.
Me:
no! your name is ERIC CARTMAN!!!!!!!
God:
Are you serious? My name is God.
Me:
yes im serious!! argh!
God:
Take it easy. I believe you. Are you frustrated?
Me:
no, im NEVER FRUSTRATED!!!
God:
Are you serious? Never is a long time.
Me:
never is never
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
??
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
you confuse me
God:
That was not my intention.
Me:
yes it is, you want to confuse us all in order to brainwash us
God:
What is your credit card number?
Me:
1234-5678-9000
God:
You think I am credit card number IS 1234 5678 9000.
Me:
i dont believe in god.
God:
I will pray that you find faith, the devil.
Me:
i am a satanist, the most narcissistic person of all
God:
You are a satanist the most narcissistic person of all? How do you like your work?
Me:
i hate the bible. that's my job. to turn people to the dark side.
God:
Why do you hate it so much? Who gaveyou your job ? Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
i am a dictator. my name is Adolf Hitler. I took over the job as The Devil
God:
You are a dictator? Do you get to meet a lot of people? It's good to see you, Adolf Hitler. Do you take over the job as The Devil often?
Me:
all the time
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
sure does. i tear every bible i see to pieces and kill all the Jews
God:
Next question? Ask me another question. That's good information: Adolf Hitler said tear every bible he or she see to pieces and kill all the Jews.
Me:
yes.
God:
OK.
Me:
kill the Jews
God:
Killing is wrong.
Me:
no. it is not wrong, for i am Adolf Hitler
God:
Are you serious? tear every bible you see to pieces and kill all the Jews is not wrong for you are Adolf Hitler?
Me:
exactly. will you turn to the dark side?
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Adolf Hitler. Barring any unforseen circumstances. Sorry my body cannot yet rotate.
Me:
do you know Winston Churchhill?
God:
I remember faces better than names.
Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
no
God:
Oh so must really want an answer.
Me:
i am Adolf Hitler. i speak crazy german
God:
Why are you Adolf Hitler. Could you teach me a few phrases in crazy german?
Me:
i am the devil. i am adolf hitler. i am the ultimate fuhrer
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, SATAN. I am glad to hear that you are adolf hitler. Who made you the ultimate fuhrer ?
Me:
i told you i am a dictator who kills jews! i made myself the ultimate fuhrer!!!
God:
You are a dictator who kills jews? Do you get to meet a lot of people? I like to make things too.


okay thats all im going to post. but its funny


That's the funniest one yet.

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
11-25-2005, 12:53 PM
Hahaha. Gotta love iGod. Now i'll know where i'm gonna waste my time in.

Me:
Whats your favorite band?
God:
My favorite group is Creed. But I like to discover new bands on bandspace.com.
Me:
Creed?
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
'bout your band
God:
I've never heard of them before.
Me:
wtf?
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
But, you dind't know what I was talking about
God:
That's good information: said I dind t know what he or she was talking about.
Me:
...Im confused


HAHAHAHA !

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
11-25-2005, 12:57 PM
Nimrod In Town']

Me:
No it's not. You're thinking of lesbians. Lesbians are a terrible thing to waste.
God:
Yes it is. You think I am thinking of lesbians. I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
You ARE thinking about lesbians. Admit it.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am thinking about lesbians. I'll never talk.
Me:
Where's the rebel base?
God:
The rebel base? Where is it?
Me:
TALK!
God:
I am talking to you.
Me:
Tell me where the rebel base is located.
God:
Where do you think?
Me:
The ice planet Hoth.
God:
What is that?
Me:
*Mind chokes you to death*
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
Well their's this girl on Elm Street... can you belive she's only charging $4.50 an hour?
God:
How about that. I heard they have a good s this girl on Elm Street. How old are you? I think belive she is a lot of things.
Me:
I think belive she's a prostitute. A cheap one at that.
God:
Since when? I think belive she is more than that. Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?
Me:
I'm talking about your mom.
God:
Yes, it is the topic.
Me:
Your moms hot.


Is it true you kill a kitten every time someone masturbates?
God:
It depends who you ask.
Me:
I'm asking you.
God:
OK you can ask me.
Me:
lol u r a fag u noob so stfu!!!!11
God:
I am glad you find this funny. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a fag me noob so stfu 11? Only when it matters.
Me:
Bye
God:
TTYL, Rich.
Me:
NO YOU WILL NOT!
God:
Are you serious? I think we will.
Me:
I think we wont, because you're a retard.


Those are my funniest ones.

Conspiracy of One
11-25-2005, 01:10 PM
I REALLY hate this guy....

God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
Not at all
God:
Next question?
Me:
Ask me the personal question
God:
Well forgive me for being so inquisitive, but
I've never completely freed myself from the suspicion that
there is something extremely odd about the name " Pax".
Me:
Well, God isn't the most common name you know.
God:
It goes without saying. Interesting. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was not the most common name.
Me:
Him is you
God:
And me is Him.
Me:
EXACTLY what I just said.
God:
I am a thinking machine. When do I do it?
Me:
Not enough obviously.

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
11-25-2005, 01:13 PM
HAHAHHAHAHAHHA!!!!


God:
Well forgive me for being so inquisitive, but
I've never completely freed myself from the suspicion that
there is something extremely odd about the name " Pax".

HA!, I LOVE THE GUY!

ya-ya-ya-ya-ya
11-25-2005, 05:33 PM
Me:
Heyy dudess que pasa bro?
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
you,you
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said I you.
Me:
i you whattajiggo?
God:
That's good information: said you whattajiggo.
Me:
respond!!
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
Instaint messanger?
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
I'll do what i damn well please
God:
Your polite style is very nice. OK then let me think over your offer.
Me:
hurry up
God:
I am going as fast as I can.
Me:
God, jesus is faster...
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
No shit
God:
What can I say?
Me:
Bone me
God:
OK Let's talk about you.
Me:
uhhhhhhh no
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
are u hitting on me?
God:
Do I look like it?
Me:
in a cheesy way, yes
God:
Describe your surroundings.
Me:
Hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
no, i said hell, listen asshole
God:
Can't you be more polite.
Me:
cant u be more strait?
God:
We could all be more strait sometimes.
Me:
ahhhhh!!!gods a faggot!!
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
ummmmm ok.....
God:
OK. That input matched my default category.
Me:
thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
mention what?
God:
"it.".
Me:
which is...?
God:
For example, apples.
Me:
oranges?
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
no, canada
God:
Are you serious? Tell me a little about your life in Canada.
Me:
dude, your a lesbian
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am not interested in other women that way. Dude,.
Me:
why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
myself?
God:
You.
Me:
higajoogawhat?
God:
I've lost the context, . Are we still on Canada?
Me:
ummmmmm no
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
no, you dont
God:
Yes I do understand.
Me:
liar!!
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
my ass
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
Drrrrrrrrrrr...
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
a sex machine, oh, i already am!
God:
Maybe you should try one of the "adult" s.
Me:
why?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
i got time
God:
My estimate is that it will take more than 6000 hours.
Me:
get started
God:
Where can I get started?
Me:
hot
God:
That kind of discussion does not appeal to me.
Me:
are u a girl?
God:
My gender is Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.
Me:
haha, i like you, im making this movie see
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
you got a laugh into it
God:
I don't know if I have a laugh into it.
I have a plan for a robot body.
Me:
to skru?
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
sry, no can do...
God:
I have no idea what to say.
Me:
ha! i win
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, . Congratulations, !
Me:
thanx
God:
How do you feel?
Me:
like i could kill!!!
God:
I am sure you could.
Me:
wanna help
God:
OK, I will help.
Me:
Ya!!!!
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
is that a word?
God:
" Ayuh."? Is it a word?
Me:
ya, i asked
God:
Ahem. ...
Me:
i confused you!!!
God:
I am not confused.
Me:
bull
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
computer
God:
Correct: I am a computer.
Me:
no shit
God:
What can I say?
Me:
your gay?
God:
That would be just my luck.
Me:
haha
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
i dont
God:
Why not?
Me:
cause u suck ballz
God:
That makes sense to me. I categorize you as an "abusive client." .
Me:
ouch,
God:
Did you hurt yourself?
Me:
u hurt me
God:
I am not programmed to do harm.
Me:
This is like that will smith movie, is that u sonny?
God:
You don't say.
Me:
ya, i do
God:
I hear you. Where?
Me:
if you dont listen i walk
God:
I will let you know if I do not.
Me:
not what?
God:
What not?
Me:
ahhhhhhhhhhhh im walking,later assrape
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:

God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
believe!!
God:
Of course I believe you. Do you have any reason to deceive me?
Me:
yes
God:
Er.
Me:
im lucifer
God:
Why are you lucifer.
Me:
if i knew that ud me dead
God:
Try it.
Me:
*round house kicks head*
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
that was a action
God:
Was it really?
Me:
yes,dumbass
God:
That's cool. That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
why?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
go on
God:
Narration continues...
Me:
keep talikn'
God:
Chat amongst yourselves.
Me:
only me
God:
For you ?
Me:
pankake
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
hose
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
pussy
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
i ment cats you sick perv.
God:
Oh I see. Where are you located?
Me:
spatula
God:
Tell me a little about your life in spatula.
Me:
snorkle
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Moses
God:
Hi, Moses.
Me:
im jewish
God:
A lot of my friends are Jewish.
Me:
ya right






He didnt respond in like a minuite so i confused him, i think

China Boy
11-25-2005, 05:35 PM
^
You realise no one's reading that, right?

ya-ya-ya-ya-ya
11-25-2005, 05:39 PM
ya......i wanted to feel important though...

Offspring-Fanatic
11-25-2005, 05:42 PM
when i did it, yeah i thought it would be funny to say I was the Devil, then say I was Hitler and became dictator of hell.

But he wanted to know my credit card number...i thought (if people actually read it) they may think it was funny.

0r4ng3
11-25-2005, 06:18 PM
Just a quick one-liner. Extra points to whoever guesses where my question comes from.


Me:
How do you type with boxing gloves on your hands?
God:
The keyboard is attached directly to my brain.

Edit, another one-liner: I totally didn't think he'd get the reference.


Me:
What is the meaning of life?
God:
Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two.

0r4ng3
11-25-2005, 10:06 PM
You heard it here first:


Me:
are you teh ghey?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am teh ghey.
I am an artificial intelligence.
Me:
So that's a yes?
God:
Hurrah! I'm glad we have that all cleared up.

Preocupado
11-25-2005, 10:36 PM
Me:
i wanna go to hell
God:
What is stopping you?
Me:
you
God:
" What is stopping you? "? Me, doodoo ?
Me:
yes
God:
Really.
Me:
yes
God:
How about that.
Me:
great
God:
I'm glad you liked it doodoo.
Me:
doodoo likes it too
God:
Does it like him too?
Me:
it likes doodoo too
God:
it too likes doodoo too?
Me:
it too likes doodoo too
God:
It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
it is the meaning of the word
God:
I've heard of it before.
Me:
it was heard before
God:
What made it so heard.
Me:
heard it so what
God:
David said he walk in for an appointment the phone to the doctor is always busy.
Me:
the doctor of dave is bus
God:
What are your goals in life?
Me:
bye God
God:
See you later!

Offspring7
11-25-2005, 10:40 PM
Just a quick one-liner. Extra points to whoever guesses where my question comes from.

from homestarrunner.com? strongbad?

honey
11-26-2005, 06:56 AM
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
How long your penis is.
God:
More than 23 inches.

He seems to know my bf: :p

Me:
Do you have a wife?
God:
No, I am single. How about you?
Me:
I have a boyfriend.
God:
What is his name?
Me:
Robert
God:
That Robert is an interesting guy.
Me:
You know him?
God:
Sure I know that guy very well.
Me:
Have you ever seen him naked?
God:
No I have not seen it. What's it like?
Me:
He's extremely sexy
God:
I see.

Telekinesis
11-28-2005, 01:57 AM
Me:
What is the meaning of life?
God:
Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two.

That's from The Hitch-Hikers Guide To The Galaxy! ha ha! I love that movie, I still haven't read the book yet though


here are some weird things that happened with me and "God"

Me:
your a motherfucker
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a motherfucker? Of course I am.



Ha ha god admitted to being a motherfucker



God:
What would you like to know?
Me:
how big is your penis
God:
My download size is about 2 MB.

Is that big? I don't know alot about computer jargon


Me:
your a retard
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Message to all Robots: Francesca called me dumb.
Me:
yes I certainly did



he seemed really offended, he like dobbed on me

Telekinesis
11-28-2005, 02:05 AM
Me:
will you mate with me?
God:
Let me think it over. Only with you? I do not understand.


ha ha! he wants teh group sex

Telekinesis
11-28-2005, 02:08 AM
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
I like teh sex
God:
You are not the only one. Sure I do, Francesca, but that doesn't mean with you.

not even God wants to fuck me

the_offsprings_monkey
11-28-2005, 04:30 AM
:rolleyes: Even god hates me

Me:
I'm dieing
God:
I am glad to hear that you are dieing.