View Full Version : Trial of a Marchioness (Cadaver Synod)

Sin Studly
11-24-2005, 05:58 PM
So Innocent, clad in papal pomp,
Did cry for synod to be renew'd
Bequeath'd from Yore's last carnal romp
‘Present thine harlot, cruel and shrewd
‘Thine foreign whore, that gloweth gold
‘Rejecter of mine Papal writs
‘Thine brazen slut so foward and bold
‘With piggish eyes and sagging tits
And Lo!, the doors swung open thus
To bring the corpse unto the Pope
A mass of congealed blood and pus
Spine sever'd from the hempen rope
‘Foulest beast against the Holy See
‘With but winding sheets thou couldst undress
‘Bishops in synod, do thou not agree?
‘These bones maketh not a Marchioness?

And as the Pontiff paced within the hall
He bespake the legend of the Vllkoslak
Fett'ring the Archbishops in silent thrall
At mention of a fiend so dreadly dark
‘Yonder beast liveth beyond God's Grace
‘Bound not by earth or burning lime
‘But poppy seeds in her crypt placed
‘Shalt save us from her monstrous crime
‘And whilst her kinfolk still bereave
‘The dead apon living blood feeds
‘And ravishes thine sons, naive
‘To quench its ghastly carnal needs
‘And what more proof is needed, when
‘Fresh blood doth linger on her lips?
‘And surely the seed of many men
‘Is trapp'd betwixt her rotting hips

The Pope hasten'd to take the floor
And called out for two men so brave
To slay this beast forevermore
And set the wretch unto her grave
‘Take ye this beast of foul descent
‘And wait until a moonless night
‘Sanctified in the garlic's scent
‘And take yon mallet, to incite
‘A railroad spike unto her heart
‘That she nevermore on blood may sup
‘And hew her head from trunk apart
'To be buried facing down, not up
‘Where tarr'd track and roadway joins
‘All then before the next sun sets
‘Seek out all fruits sprung from her loins
‘And drive them unto the oubliettes

11-24-2005, 10:07 PM
I've never heard the word "oubliette" used as a metaphor... until now.

11-24-2005, 11:44 PM
Holy fuck this is wicked awesome.

Sin Studly
11-25-2005, 05:32 AM
Oh, it's not a metaphor.

11-25-2005, 06:37 AM
fucking rad, I agree with Vlad. love it.

11-25-2005, 06:42 AM
I already said I love it, but this one deserves official praise ;)

It's really, REALLY great.

And I can't wait to see the next one *giggle*

Sin Studly
11-25-2005, 06:56 AM
I think this might have made Maria orgasm to death....

11-25-2005, 09:20 AM
You simply pwn everybody. Even the old fucking genius poets from centuries ago. You just fucking pwn them. Bitch. Free buttsects.

Sin Studly
11-25-2005, 12:45 PM
I'm bumping this to annoy Megs further. I understand how badly it annoys her that people possessed of talent recieve praise for their work, while people like her are derided and mocked.

11-25-2005, 12:48 PM
derided and mocked is fine with me.

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
11-25-2005, 12:50 PM
How do you write/think of all of these in so short time?

11-25-2005, 12:51 PM
Probably because he's awesome like that.

11-25-2005, 12:52 PM
*cough* because he bumped it.

11-25-2005, 12:53 PM
too bad i don't understand most of the terms, i wanted to pull an opinion on it.

Sin Studly
11-25-2005, 12:54 PM
List the terms you don't know and I'll glossarise for all the non-native English speakers (and the British).

11-25-2005, 12:58 PM
will do when i come back from class, thank you!

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
11-25-2005, 12:58 PM
*cough* because he bumped it.

He made it yesterday.

11-25-2005, 01:40 PM
Fuckin' classic.

Sin Studly
11-25-2005, 01:51 PM
Fuckin' classic.

That makes my vagina wet with happiness.

11-25-2005, 01:57 PM
That makes me hard.

Sin Studly
11-25-2005, 01:57 PM
You be the jeep, I'll be the tree-trunk. ;)

11-25-2005, 02:01 PM
This thread turned out to be just as awesome as the original post. Nice one.

11-25-2005, 04:13 PM
Nicely done.
Justin and Patton need to start making babies for the good of humanity.

12-01-2005, 10:33 PM
well then what oubliettes are you talking about?

it's genius, by the by.

Sin Studly
12-02-2005, 12:05 AM
Literal oubliettes.