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View Full Version : Oh, you crazy Offspring BBSers, you!



[Warning] Nimrod In Town
12-02-2005, 03:49 PM
Oh, near death moments...creapy. I know we had one of these in the past... but, as the events of today unfolded I figured I'd start another to see just what you crazy folks have been up to.

I'll post mines in a second.

So, now, any of you got any recent near-death experiences you want to share?

the_offsprings_monkey
12-02-2005, 03:51 PM
HeH I was in a coach crash and I fell down some stairs, got in a huge fight at the start of the year, got hit off my bmx at the start of the year aswell, and thats about it this year.

The Talking Pie
12-02-2005, 03:55 PM
[Learning to] drive late at night. With sharp bends. And wet roads. A kind of stupid choice of setting on my instructor's part, in retrospect. Didn't crash, but it was one of those occasions where it's all or nothing. Come out of it fine or crash and die because there's a sharp drop to the side of the road.

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
12-02-2005, 04:00 PM
Some time ago:

I tend to get the munchies pretty late at night, since i stay up so late. So, this one evening, i decide to hit the local 7-11 for a bite to eat.

I get there and i go through the normal motions, I'm a regular, and i buy my usual chips and soda. It's approximately one A.M. at this point, and freezing cold outside, so i choose to eat my food in the store.

About five minutes later, give or take, another guy enters the store. Wearing a ski mask. Big trouble. The guy procedes to pull out a gun and holds up the store clerk. Me, being the idiot i can be, walked closer to the situation, so i can get a good look at what's going on.

The clerk immediately opens the register and starts to hand the robber the cash. But something happens. The clerk must have snapped or something, because instead of just handing the money over, he throws it at the robber, reaches out, grabs the guy's collar, and actually starts wailing on the guy.

At this point the robber's freaking out, guess he never had to deal with belligerent 7-11 employees, and he's trying to get away. He does, but not before the clerk grabs his ski mask and tears it off. The robber's running out the store, but he turns back and sees me just staring at his face. So the guy shoots me, hitting me in my left shoulder. I don't remember much after that, only the smell of blood and the sirens of an ambulance.

Im fine now, they even caught the guy, and yet i still go to that same 7-11. I was always a dumbass in that regard.

Obie2trice
12-02-2005, 05:30 PM
Damn sick story Nimrod, good the guy didn`t shoot you any higher

Sinister
12-02-2005, 05:37 PM
anyone heard of intra-uterine hydrocephalia ?

that means just a few months before my birth, cephalo-something liquid wasn't draining properly from the area around my brain, gradually squeezing it. I could have been born blind, deaf, retarded or anything, or even killed before birth. but there was some kind of "miracle" and here I am, alive, with a brain that works just a bit oddly.

calichix
12-02-2005, 10:43 PM
I've had millions upon kojillions. I'm prone to near death experiences.

T-6005
12-02-2005, 11:15 PM
One of the ones I remember most clearly involved attempting a backflip.

neocon58
12-02-2005, 11:21 PM
Driving with a friend who drives like he's running from the cops even if he's not, like wrong side of the road in traffic, takes every corner like he's one of those poofy Japanese drift car drivers, etc. So many close calls.

At first I was like 'what the fuck!', now whenever I have to get in his car I just laugh.

bd007h
12-02-2005, 11:54 PM
I almost got hit by a car once.

Human
12-02-2005, 11:56 PM
I like Brett almost got hit also. There is a big long story to it but yeah. It was scary.

PinkRoxMySox92
12-02-2005, 11:59 PM
I like Brett almost got hit also. There is a big long story to it but yeah. It was scary.
Yeah, so did I.

Drummerguy123
12-03-2005, 12:10 AM
Yeah, so did I.

lol. I've never been hit. I do the hitting. :D

Human
12-03-2005, 12:11 AM
Do you even have a licesne? I'm off to bed soon.

Drummerguy123
12-03-2005, 12:14 AM
Do you even have a licesne? I'm off to bed soon.

I have a permit and a car. I'm getting my license soon.

Human
12-03-2005, 12:15 AM
OMG, you hit girl's asses? pervert.

Drummerguy123
12-03-2005, 12:22 AM
OMG, you hit girl's asses? pervert.

??? wtf was that?

Human
12-03-2005, 12:23 AM
I don't know. Just a random thought that came up in my head.

Drummerguy123
12-03-2005, 12:26 AM
I'd suggest keeping them in your head or you will become quite hated here.

That Punk Kid You Love
12-03-2005, 12:46 AM
I'll list the ones I sorta remember right now (1 from before I was born):


-I was hit by a car at the age of 10.
-My brother threw a knife at me once and I caught it in the left leg.
-One night while drunk I feel asleep at my ex gf's and her 258lb brother sat on me.
-While jumping a pool on my bike I was hit in the head by a bird and fell 15 feet shattering both of my ankles and leaving a 14" bloody gash down my back from the side rail that I hit.
-I got into a fight with 6 niggers when they called me "Tony Hawk".
-I jumped off a house while high on meth.
-When I was being born I was choked by the umbilical cord twice.

bd007h
12-03-2005, 12:48 AM
no offense, but you are the worst liar ever.

That Punk Kid You Love
12-03-2005, 12:50 AM
Nah its all true. I have nerve damage in my left leg,bad memory,and a huge ass scar on my back. These are the reasons why Im so fucked up all the time.

Drummerguy123
12-03-2005, 12:52 AM
Nah its all true. I have nerve damage in my left leg,bad memory,and a huge ass scar on my back. These are the reasons why Im so fucked up all the time.

That explains a lot.

bd007h
12-03-2005, 12:52 AM
bad memory.

pwn3d .

neocon58
12-03-2005, 12:52 AM
This is one of those cases where you have to post pictures of the scars and whatnot for anyone to believe you.

That Punk Kid You Love
12-03-2005, 12:54 AM
pwn3d .


What? When things are said to me I forget them. I forgot most of the 10th grade teachings.

bd007h
12-03-2005, 12:55 AM
What? When things are said to me I forget them. I forgot most of the 10th grade teachings.

then how do you remember that all that rediculous shit ever actually happened to you?

Drummerguy123
12-03-2005, 01:00 AM
then how do you remember that all that rediculous shit ever actually happened to you?

You tend to remember things like getting a 14 inch slash down you back.

That Punk Kid You Love
12-03-2005, 01:01 AM
http://img363.imageshack.us/img363/6270/stevescar1px.jpg

There's your back proof my friends.

Drummerguy123
12-03-2005, 01:04 AM
http://img363.imageshack.us/img363/6270/stevescar1px.jpg

There's your back proof my friends.

Wow. That sucks.

That Punk Kid You Love
12-03-2005, 01:08 AM
Wow. That sucks.



It hurt like hell too. I tried to land as best as I could but I couldn't pull it off. As soon as I hit the railing I freaked out when I felt this huge pain in my back and saw blood coming down my shirt,neck,sides.

Drummerguy123
12-03-2005, 01:09 AM
It hurt like hell too. I tried to land as best as I could but I couldn't pull it off. As soon as I hit the railing I freaked out when I felt this huge pain in my back and saw blood coming down my shirt,neck,sides.

That's why I don't skate.

bd007h
12-03-2005, 01:10 AM
hit a railing while trying to jump over a pool?

That Punk Kid You Love
12-03-2005, 01:18 AM
hit a railing while trying to jump over a pool?




I flew off my bike in mid air,landed on my feet shattering my ankles and,then hit the railing of the pool with my back.

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
12-03-2005, 09:31 AM
God-damn, that sucks.

the_offsprings_monkey
12-03-2005, 09:35 AM
Googled photo much you IDIOTS, god he got that photo of the net somewhere obviously.
EDIT: god that cut is bigger then 14inces as well.

neocon58
12-03-2005, 07:11 PM
http://img363.imageshack.us/img363/6270/stevescar1px.jpg

There's your back proof my friends.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

http://leelikesbikes.com/Stories/100404/


http://www.owned.com/Owned_Pictures/jesusownedbydweebwithps.jpg

Hawk
12-03-2005, 07:26 PM
AHAHAH! What a fucking joke!

Conspiracy of One
12-03-2005, 07:34 PM
So...a near death experience, huh? Reading any of Dalaksta's posts, yeah that sounds about right.

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
12-03-2005, 07:44 PM
So...a near death experience, huh? Reading any of Dalaksta's posts, yeah that sounds about right.

Hahahahh !!!! Fucking brilliant!

Drum Goddess
12-03-2005, 07:50 PM
We where going to the game, and we were walking and some fan that was for UCLA was driving really fast and almost hit us. That was scary.

Conspiracy of One
12-03-2005, 07:54 PM
some fan that was for UCLA was driving really fast and almost hit us. That was scary.
You've obviously never seen the photo of Linda, you lucky soul.

Drum Goddess
12-03-2005, 07:56 PM
You've obviously never seen the photo of Linda, you lucky soul.
What happened to Linda?

Conspiracy of One
12-03-2005, 07:57 PM
Alot can happen over the amount of time she's been graced with life.

Drum Goddess
12-03-2005, 07:58 PM
Alot can happen over the amount of time she's been graced with life.
Ha ha. Who is this Linda person?

[Warning] Nimrod In Town
12-03-2005, 08:09 PM
Alot can happen over the amount of time she's been graced with life.

HAHAHAHAHAAHHHHH!

Offspring-Fanatic
12-03-2005, 10:10 PM
i hate it is when you're going across the crosswalk, and it's safe mmkay? like that little green dude is flashing, and then someone turns right on a red light, while I'm crossing the street. thats happened once, and for the same reason (red light) we were almost hit going to blockbuster.

this reminds me of this one time this guy had a truck with a flatbed attached, and a tractor on the flatbed. he accelerated, and then the tractor fell off into the middle of the intersection! it was freaking hilarious!

Preocupado
12-03-2005, 11:43 PM
^that kind of shit makes my day. I once saw a VW beattle (the old one) loose a wheel on a curve heheheheheeheh


this year's near death experience: i got hit by a badass wave that kept me a long time underwater. when i was almost out of breath i made it to the surface, but the next wave was about 1m from me already. that was a fucking horrible experience.