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killer_queen
12-08-2005, 09:07 AM
Firstly, this really happened to my friend. I'm not trying to do that "not me, my friend" thing.
This year me and all of my friends are going to courses on weekends for university exams. And teachers at courses are more open-minded (when we compared them with old, conservative, classic teachers), younger and that line which should be between a teacher and a student is less clear. I mean, our teachers are more like friends. I don't want to make it longer, a maths teacher is like want one of my friends. Not just want, he acts like he's pretty obsessive about her. It might cause him to lose his job but he didn't care. I just can't believe it. A 31 year old man cries for a 17 year old girl. It just sounds impossible for me. I'm right, right? Noone normal would fall in love with a teen and has "innocent" feelings for her. If he does, he must be sick. I can't tell this to my friend and I'm worried about her. I don't know what to do, maybe I should ignore. But what's wrong with these adults. What is so attractive about teens?

Vera
12-08-2005, 09:21 AM
Mankind has always admired youth.

TheUnholyNightbringer
12-08-2005, 09:21 AM
It's Jenny in a parallel universe.

Little_Miss_1565
12-08-2005, 09:43 AM
I completely disagree that it would be "unnatural" for an older man to find something attractive about a 17 year old girl. However, in an inherently power-structured relationship like teacher/student, having any sort of relationship outside the classroom would be wrong. If they're going to pursue anything, she shouldn't be taking a class with him during it.

T-6005
12-08-2005, 10:56 AM
Why is the man so often older?

That's what gets me.

notoriousdoc
12-08-2005, 11:01 AM
It's more often women in this country lately

T-6005
12-08-2005, 11:03 AM
It's more often women in this country lately
Well, there you go. I just got schooled.

When I analyze my own image of those relationships, though - I always think of some perverse old man.

Anya82
12-08-2005, 11:07 AM
well, my case is not that weird, then. I'm a teacher at my uni, and i admit that i like one of my students. He doesn't know. I'm 23, he's 20. We're pretty close friends, we get along very very much, but at school, we're like any other student-teacher.

I also have a friend who has a relationship with her teacher, but the age difference isn't as big as the case you mention. She's 23, and he's 27. At school, they do what they have to as teacher and student. They keep separated their personal relationship from their academic one.

I don't know if this kind of relationships are "wrong", but in my opinion, teacher and/or students personal life is not part of a school bussiness. If both parts keep their relationship apart from school... what's the problem? And don't tell me that a teacher "helps" the student with grades and all that shit, cause that's not true. At least not in our cases.

belen1979
12-08-2005, 12:01 PM
^^ In University is different, everybody is supposed to be 18 and high... At least here, in Spain, a love-relationship between a person that is at least 18 and someone that is under that age can be illegal, unless parents allow them to go on with the relationship

T-6005
12-08-2005, 12:02 PM
^^ In University is different, everybody is supposed to be 18 and high...
Amen to that, man.

*inhales*

belen1979
12-08-2005, 12:03 PM
^^ woman, I think, LOL

Anya82
12-08-2005, 12:11 PM
that's why i said those cases are not "that" weird.
But some people seem to have problem with student-teacher relationships.

the_GoDdEsS
12-08-2005, 12:12 PM
I've had several teachers flirt with me and have a sort of a crush on me. Both young and old. It was hilarious because I myself never had a crush on a teacher.

belen1979
12-08-2005, 12:18 PM
I can't see the problem at uni.

At schools it's different, because even if both of them are over 18, kids under that age could... create problems if the relationship is allowed with one couple and not allowed with another couple... I can understand this. But at uni it's their problem...

By the way, everyone os us can imagine that most students would start saying that that student is being helped by that teacher, but that's how it's allways been... If you go and take a coffee with a teacher you are getting the questions of the exam... This will be allways that way and that's the main problem. That student will always be treated as he/she has the a helping hand beside

wheelchairman
12-08-2005, 01:26 PM
Miss 1565 is obviously correct.

In my little experience in dating older people, it's generally the same except they seem to be more sensitive when you make fun of what they think is pop culture.

The Talking Pie
12-08-2005, 01:47 PM
I must say, I see nothing wrong with the case highlighted in the first post. They're both young. It would be unprofessional, but only because of favouritism/superfluous assistance in class, etc. You act like the teacher's middle-aged or over. The teenage girls I went to school with went out with 23-25 year olds, because they wanted someone closer to their maturity level; a few more years really isn't such a big deal.

Sin Studly
12-08-2005, 01:58 PM
It's Jenny in a parallel universe.

Heh, if the teacher is Jewish instead of the student.

Nina
12-08-2005, 02:02 PM
I completely agree with 1565, there is nothing wrong with the age difference if the two actually get along and noone is abusing/taking advantage of the other. However, this case is still wrong because a teacher is not supposed to have such a relationship with one of his students.

wheelchairman
12-08-2005, 02:13 PM
I must say, I see nothing wrong with the case highlighted in the first post. They're both young. It would be unprofessional, but only because of favouritism/superfluous assistance in class, etc. You act like the teacher's middle-aged or over. The teenage girls I went to school with went out with 23-25 year olds, because they wanted someone closer to their maturity level; a few more years really isn't such a big deal.
It's also dangerous for the girl. What if they broke up, for example?

The Talking Pie
12-08-2005, 02:26 PM
Yeah, but in terms of "omgzz teh age!1!!1!", it's not really an issue. Unless he had a fetish for killing young girls who he wasn't in love with...

T-6005
12-08-2005, 02:46 PM
Yeah, but in terms of "omgzz teh age!1!!1!", it's not really an issue. Unless he had a fetish for killing young girls who he wasn't in love with...
Yeah - too many relationships have that one.

Betty
12-08-2005, 03:19 PM
Well, in terms of actually having a serious relationship, I think an important thing between people is the stage of their lives they have reached. Taking a young working professional and a first year college student, they are at such different stages of their lives. The teacher is making a life, settling down, having a real job and real responsibility. The college student is still partying it up and seeking adventure and identity, etc. So even if the maturity level might be "similar"... they are still functionning on entirely different planes. I'd have a hard time seeing it last. So, I'm not so concerned about age as relationship logistics.

Jebus
12-08-2005, 04:29 PM
Heh, my English teacher told me a story of how one of his friends in high school was secretly going out with one of her teachers. She spent a lot of time with him inside and outside fo school. After a while everybody knew what was going on but nobody ever really spoke about it. The teacher was already married and had two kids. After their high school graduation, the teacher proposed to her and got married. Now they're both teachers in the same high school(not the one they went to before). =/

Blue_Dragon
12-08-2005, 04:36 PM
Why is the man so often older?

That's what gets me.
money is more than often involved.

Rag Doll
12-08-2005, 04:42 PM
I don't think the age is a big deal, it's that he has power over her as her teacher. But, if they don't have a problem with that, than whatever. I've had something like that before (boss, not teacher) and it wasn't a big deal...but a teacher is a bit different, i suppose.

Apathy
12-08-2005, 04:59 PM
haha, in Canada the legal age of consent is 14, no?

It seems to me that all Guys would find a 17 year old hot, It'd be weird to actually have him act upon it, but that's just my opinion.

Tizzalicious
12-09-2005, 12:35 AM
I completely agree with 1565, there is nothing wrong with the age difference if the two actually get along and noone is abusing/taking advantage of the other. However, this case is still wrong because a teacher is not supposed to have such a relationship with one of his students.

I completely agree.

And 31 isn't that old. If he had been 29, only 2 years younger, it wouldn't sound as bad at all.

killer_queen
12-09-2005, 11:21 AM
In fact you are right, he wouldn't be that old if he was 29. I don't think the age is really impotant either but a 17-year-old girl, especially in Turkey is not mature enough. Most of the people including herself counts her as a child. The problem is not the age, it's the generation difference. Also I've just learnt that the guy has been crushing on his students who are tall with long hair. And he keeps on bothering my friend although she told him clearly that she didn't want him. Do you think this is normal?