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Idiot
12-09-2005, 04:10 PM
The Christmas story translated into modern English (Chav style)
There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?)
She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit?
He does wood joinery an' that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn
Naz'ref.
One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like `Oo yoo lookin at?'
Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have'.
Mary's totally gobsmacked. She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me
yeah?
I ain't no Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!'
So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself. Liz
is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an' that.
She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I
reckon
I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an' that we are gonna
get.'
Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you're right.'
Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an' go
dahn Bethlehem on that. They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop, yeah? To
have her bay-bee an' that.
But there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an'
enter
dis garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep
an' that.
Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on
their
heads. They're like `Respect, bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're wise men
from
the East End.
Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein an'
myrrh?
Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?'
It's all about to kick off large when Gabriel turns up again an' sez
he's got another messidge from this Lord geezer.
He's like 'The police is comin an' they're killin all the ickle
bay-bees.
You better nash off to Egypt.'
Joe goes 'You must be monged it you think I'm goin' dahn Egypt on a
minging
donkey'
Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your look out if you stay.'
So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin the first-born an'
it's safe an' that.
Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Naz'ref, an' Jesus turns water
into Stella.
'APPY CHRISTMAS AND THAT.

BATWT
12-09-2005, 04:25 PM
am i the only person who still referrs (sp) to them as Kevs?

Hey Joe by the way, hows it going? hows the drumming?

Sin Studly
12-09-2005, 04:48 PM
Never post again, any of you.

BATWT
12-09-2005, 04:53 PM
ok. Oops, sorry

BATWT
12-09-2005, 05:02 PM
sorry, god i'm far too apologetic lately. what's happened to me?

BATWT
12-09-2005, 05:10 PM
well it's a possibility, and for that i apologise ;)

BATWT
12-09-2005, 05:14 PM
this thread is extremely nonsensical

BATWT
12-09-2005, 05:22 PM
talk more nonsense i think, but first i shall go make poopie

BATWT
12-09-2005, 05:28 PM
i love you too babes, sleep tight now

BATWT
12-09-2005, 05:32 PM
haha god bless you. go to bed now

The_Hombre
12-09-2005, 07:20 PM
that was pretty fucking funny actually

BATWT
12-09-2005, 07:37 PM
i never actually read it haha, i shall now

The_Hombre
12-09-2005, 07:43 PM
i never actually read it haha, i shall now

You had a choice between reading a long post or pwning TOM.

Hmm, difficult one that....

BATWT
12-09-2005, 07:56 PM
haha but of course.

The_Hombre
12-09-2005, 08:04 PM
Some people are too easy to wind up online. These fall into the following categories:

1) People who take it too seriously

2) People who pretend to take it too seriously

3) People who take it seriously but pretend not to care.

I think TOM falls into the third category.

Punky Dudess
12-10-2005, 12:21 AM
I think the whole of the UK is going retarded. Is it too hard to go through your skulls that the term 'chav' means Cheltenham Average? I live near Cheltenham and it is far from chavy-ness that you might associate it with.
Shut up with all this slander and micky taking.

the_GoDdEsS
12-10-2005, 04:08 AM
Shut the fuck up with that retarded word, you ridiculous faggotted British retards.

darko
12-10-2005, 04:31 AM
Never post again, any of you.

I got that e-mail aswell, and thats why i never posted on here!

BATWT
12-10-2005, 09:02 AM
I think the whole of the UK is going retarded. Is it too hard to go through your skulls that the term 'chav' means Cheltenham Average? I live near Cheltenham and it is far from chavy-ness that you might associate it with.

hence: Kev

Nirushika6789
12-10-2005, 12:38 PM
Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?'
.
hahahah .

TheUnholyNightbringer
12-10-2005, 07:04 PM
Megs forwaded this to me.

Meg, you know my stance on this whole stupid demographic "war". Why did you think I'd find this at all humurous?

TheUnholyNightbringer
12-10-2005, 07:12 PM
Oh, well spotted. Ten for observation.

TheUnholyNightbringer
12-10-2005, 07:15 PM
I'm afraid that's incorrect! The correct answer was an uncliched answer!

Seriously, does it ever cross your mind that maybe I don't care what you think about my hair?

TheUnholyNightbringer
12-10-2005, 07:29 PM
Go away, and take your stupid with you.

All About Eve
12-10-2005, 07:30 PM
Can my stupid stay?

coke_a_holic
12-10-2005, 07:32 PM
Can my stupid stay?
Only if it sits on my lap.

All About Eve
12-10-2005, 07:33 PM
It's scared of Jew noses though.

coke_a_holic
12-10-2005, 07:42 PM
I actually look more like my Catholic mother than my Jewish Dad. I just have his hair, personality, and frugality.

All About Eve
12-10-2005, 07:43 PM
Thank goodness frugality doesn't necessarily make you a Jew (Even if it does the other way around) or I'd be reading the Torah.

XYlophonetreeZ
12-10-2005, 07:45 PM
I actually look more like my Catholic mother than my Jewish Dad. I just have his hair, personality, and frugality.
Sweet! Half-Jews of the world unite! Although I have my mother's hair and eyes, which makes me an Aryan half-Jew.

coke_a_holic
12-10-2005, 08:08 PM
Sweet! Half-Jews of the world unite! Although I have my mother's hair and eyes, which makes me an Aryan half-Jew.
w00t! Half-Jews are awesome!

Also: is frugality a word? I kind of made it up, but it could be real?

All About Eve
12-10-2005, 08:11 PM
For all intents and purposes it is inside this thread.