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Megs
12-11-2005, 12:09 PM
after the conversation in the photo album, i'd thought i'd asjk. what is you opinions on engagement/marriage? ;)

Megs
12-11-2005, 12:15 PM
you're always fun to hang around megs. got no hang-ups.

well, I'm scared of marriage, but not of engagement, engagement is snazzy & can always be broke up. Basically my ex got betrothed thrice. it's all about the ring & saying 'my fiancÚ(e)'.
exactly. it's a form of strong committment that isn't all that hard to ....well it would be hard to break up, but easier than actual marriage.

Sunny
12-11-2005, 12:17 PM
i'm married.

quite honestly, i don't get people who think that getting married is giving away your freedom. freedom to do WHAT, specifically? fuck around with a whole lot of people? well, if that's freedom, than i'll gladly live a life of slavery.

and being "tied down"? uhhh, so, what are the great free and wonderful things i'm missing out on? cause i'm having more fun with him than i've ever had before.

Mentally_Challenged
12-11-2005, 12:18 PM
Some day, I hope.

Megs
12-11-2005, 12:18 PM
*shrugs* fuck knows. i don't get it either. but some people, just physically mentally, can't be faithful. so they'll feel like they've got some kind of curfew, or restraint on their life. meh. i don't mind either way :p

Nina
12-11-2005, 12:19 PM
I agree with Sunny.
I get a really warm feeling inside when I think of marriage. And I think there's nothing wrong with marrying "young" (whatever that means in your book) when you've found the right person. And no one, really NO ONE can tell you who the right person is except yourself.
Anyway. I really want to marry and have kids. Period.

BATWT
12-11-2005, 12:20 PM
i'm all for it; but i feel it should be outlawed for anyone under the age of 25; and there should be at least a year's live-in engagement so both parties can discover what their partner is truly all about. once the years engagement is complete, they can marry.

is this not a sensible idea? i think you'd find it is

Megs
12-11-2005, 12:20 PM
I agree with Sunny.
I get a really warm feeling inside when I think of marriage. And I think there's nothing wrong with marrying "young" (whatever that means in your book) when you've found the right person. And no one, really NO ONE can tell you who the right person is except yourself.
Anyway. I really want to marry and have kids. Period.
meh, i want to adopt. knowing me i'll probably change my mind when i'm older, but still..........

Sunny
12-11-2005, 12:20 PM
glad you agree, Nina. :)

i hate it when people tell me "but you're so young, don't you want to.. live a little first?" ... live a little? what am i, dead now?

the_GoDdEsS
12-11-2005, 12:21 PM
Of course I'm gonna drag somebody to the altar on a leash one day, lolzorz.

wheelchairman
12-11-2005, 12:23 PM
KEEP THE FUCK AWAY FROM IT, RUN FUCKING RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN GUYS. (help)
That's your own fault and you know it. Furthermore I'd bet 1000 pounds you'll never get married. (you and Kim I mean)

I'd say, why not wait? People tend to change a lot until they reach like 25 or something. Probably even later. Of course there is always risk, I just find the idea frightening.

And Mags, I would say it's a matter of preserving one's youth. That's something I've been panicking over more and more lately. Preserving my youth. I kinda pissed it away trying to grow up. Marriage, engagement, are all fine, at a certain time and place. Kim and Ashley are the best example of engagement gone wrong. They are like what, 16? hello. That's wrong.

I'm pretty much divided on the issue. Since I don't really value the institution of marriage much on oneside, seeing as love is love, with paper or without, and in practice and law, marriage has been cheapened by the outlawing of gay marriage and the increasing divorce rate.

And on the other hand, I'm vain enough to believe that my love deserves outside celebration.

Marriage and engagement, are all forms of commitment. But if the commitment is already there, then that's a problem. However I would fear that sometimes the commitment is made by force and pretense, than actual practice.

I've had a lot of coffee. So I hope I make sense.

Izie
12-11-2005, 12:23 PM
Anyway. I really want to marry and have kids. Period.

Boo. I wanna marry and have kids. Man, I'm the most idealistic fuck in the world and I soooooooo want to believe in "happily ever after". I do. I REALLY do.

Thing is, my inner cynic has had a lot to say these days, hence me being somewhat... contradictory. Boo? :(

Sunny
12-11-2005, 12:24 PM
yep sunny, but about the desillusion? it's a'rright if you love your partner, but once loves flies away...

my parents always told me "never marry someone you can't picture yourself talking to (and enjoying it) 40 years later".

of course lust and passion might fade with time. i don't think *love* does. hopefully there's also respect, friendship and common ground between the parties involved.. so they can stay together for a really long time.

wheelchairman
12-11-2005, 12:25 PM
On kids. Deepdown inside, I want a spawn that is of my own DNA, flesh and blood. but I'd settle for adoption if there are complications or whatever.

Conspiracy of One
12-11-2005, 12:26 PM
Furthermore I'd bet 1000 pounds you'll never get married.
You mean money, right? Or do you mean Kims weight?

Rag Doll
12-11-2005, 12:27 PM
I'm pretty much divided on the issue. Since I don't really value the institution of marriage much on oneside, seeing as love is love, with paper or without, and in practice and law, marriage has been cheapened by the outlawing of gay marriage and the increasing divorce rate.

And on the other hand, I'm vain enough to believe that my love deserves outside celebration.

That's pretty much exactly how i feel. Thanks for writing it for me, Per ;p

And I don't think age matters as long as the people aren't stupid and immature. Like, two friends of mine got married a few months ago at 18. But I didn't think "omgz sooooo young!". Now, there are some people that are a bit older that I'm like "wtf are they thinking"...just because they don't seem like they're taking it seriously.

Nina
12-11-2005, 12:28 PM
of course lust and passion might fade with time. i don't think *love* does. hopefully there's also respect, friendship and common ground between the parties involved.. so they can stay together for a really long time.

I definitely think that love alone is not "enough" for marriage. As you said, you need to be able to spend time with your partner for the rest of your life. Friendship is a very important factor in my opinion.
That being said.... in general, I really dislike it when people say things like "love is everything", "love is enough" and "love is all we ever need to be happy". eh.

Izie
12-11-2005, 12:28 PM
I'd say, why not wait? People tend to change a lot until they reach like 25 or something. Probably even later. Of course there is always risk, I just find the idea frightening.

And this is the point, I'd say. Or this is where you and I agree most.

a)people change, ALL the time.
b)we're scared shitless
c)I like the idea of changing with someone, like, together. that's a bit difficult though :/

BATWT
12-11-2005, 12:28 PM
my parents always told me "never marry someone you can't picture yourself talking to (and enjoying it) 40 years later".

of course lust and passion might fade with time. i don't think *love* does. hopefully there's also respect, friendship and common ground between the parties involved.. so they can stay together for a really long time.

that is so true: love and a relationship requires effort and work like everything else in the world. what some people don't seem to appreciate is that special extatic feeling you get when you first find someone special will not remain; and that's why it is such a bad idea rushing into marriage when you've been together for less than...4/5 years? hence my ideas earlier

Sunny
12-11-2005, 12:28 PM
i'm all for it; but i feel it should be outlawed for anyone under the age of 25; and there should be at least a year's live-in engagement so both parties can discover what their partner is truly all about. once the years engagement is complete, they can marry.

is this not a sensible idea? i think you'd find it is

it's not. at all. you can't judge like that.. and having an age limit on things of this nature is absolutely ridiculous.

wcm, i totally get what you're saying. there's absolutely nothing wrong with waiting... and, well, the thing about preserving one's youth.. i've been flipping out over that recently myself. only, it didn't involve the relationship part of my life. more the... growing up, becoming a professional, making money, being an adult part. which terrifies me.

wheelchairman
12-11-2005, 12:29 PM
You mean money, right? Or do you mean Kims weight?
Really, she's not fat. If I said litres, you could reply with "1000 litres of cutter blood", but I didn't so the joke wouldn't work.

BATWT
12-11-2005, 12:33 PM
it's not. at all. you can't judge like that.. and having an age limit on things of this nature is absolutely ridiculous.

no, i am not suggesting an age-limit. what my suggestions are are precautions that will prevent people marrying so young without fully knowing their partner. in my experience 8/10 couples who marry young (young = under 21) will not last longer than 3 years.

*prepares for a barrage of couples who got married at 19 and are still happily together.....actually..no*

wheelchairman
12-11-2005, 12:33 PM
Iz, C, is the only reason I bother to go into relationships in the first place. Haha.

Mags, we agree pretty much. I just fear commitment in general, especially that of the long distance variety (or, I did fear it.) Then I'm stupid and drag myself into the things I fear. Now I pretty much think, actually I honestly don't know anymore. Engagements, marriage, that should be done after longer periods of time with a person. And especially done after you move in together.

Idiot
12-11-2005, 12:35 PM
If you and a partner are really in love, why spend money getting a piece of paper that proves it ?

Sunny
12-11-2005, 12:35 PM
that is so true: love and a relationship requires effort and work like everything else in the world. what some people don't seem to appreciate is that special extatic feeling you get when you first find someone special will not remain; and that's why it is such a bad idea rushing into marriage when you've been together for less than...4/5 years? hence my ideas earlier

honestly i don't like the idea of following a pre-designed pattern of behavior when it comes to matters as personal as this. i mean, ideally, people are *supposed* to meet, then date for some time, then after a whiiiile move in together, then get engaged.. etc. I found myself not following that "schedule" at all... we skipped the "dating" phase and went from being best friends to moving in together. And there haven't been any problems. I don't think a long waiting period is necessary if both partners are mature and reasonable enough to understand the commitment and the dynamics of a relationship.

*shrugs*

Nirushika6789
12-11-2005, 12:36 PM
If you and a partner are really in love, why spend money getting a piece of paper that proves it ?
this is a good point

but people want to be able to have memories of how they showed their love and proved it to others...also its nice to have a big 'party' dedicated to yourself and the person you love :p

BATWT
12-11-2005, 12:36 PM
honestly i don't like the idea of following a pre-designed pattern of behavior when it comes to matters as personal as this. i mean, ideally, people are *supposed* to meet, then date for some time, then after a whiiiile move in together, then get engaged.. etc. I found myself not following that "schedule" at all... we skipped the "dating" phase and went from being best friends to moving in together. And there haven't been any problems. I don't think a long waiting period is necessary if both partners are mature and reasonable enough to understand the commitment and the dynamics of a relationship.

unfortunately, not everyone is mature and reasonable enough to understand

Nina
12-11-2005, 12:37 PM
And especially done after you move in together.

VERY good point. What if you're together with someone for 4 years, you see each other very often, get along well, love each other etc, but the everyday things dont work out? eep. Terrifying to marry without living together first. It's the little things that can mess relationships up.

Sunny
12-11-2005, 12:39 PM
If you and a partner are really in love, why spend money getting a piece of paper that proves it ?

I think WCM said it best.


I'm vain enough to believe that my love deserves outside celebration.

and i agree 110%.
also, I love the thought of us having the same last name.

Sunny
12-11-2005, 12:40 PM
And especially done after you move in together.

couldn't agree more. it's a true test.

BATWT
12-11-2005, 12:40 PM
VERY good point. What if you're together with someone for 4 years, you see each other very often, get along well, love each other etc, but the everyday things dont work out? eep. Terrifying to marry without living together first. It's the little things that can mess relationships up.

is that not what i implied? lol

Idiot
12-11-2005, 12:41 PM
I think WCM said it best.



and i agree 110%.
also, I love the thought of us having the same last name.

Yeah, he said it better.

I didn't read through the topic properly, otherwise I would've noticed what he said. :)

Nina
12-11-2005, 12:42 PM
is that not what i implied? lol

Not really. You can live together for half a year, see that it works out perfectly fine and then get engaged + marry? You said something about "at least 4/5 years", didnt you?
Either way, I never said you were wrong :/ I just agreed with Sunny in some aspects.

Idiot
12-11-2005, 12:42 PM
this is a good point

but people want to be able to have memories of how they showed their love and proved it to others...also its nice to have a big 'party' dedicated to yourself and the person you love :p

Yeah, I guess so - but you could organise a much cheaper 'unofficial' party to celebrate being together without all the actual official 'marriage stuff'.

wheelchairman
12-11-2005, 12:43 PM
My posts should always be highlighted, with huge flashing arrows pointing towars them, and bright large font, neon yellow words saying "THE VOICE OF REASON" above.

Izie
12-11-2005, 12:46 PM
Then I'm stupid and drag myself into the things I fear.

...I constantly do things that scare me. I'm either very brave, or I'm a complete idiot.

And yups, living together for a while before marrying is good, but it still doesn't guarantee anything, if you ask me. It's just a matter of ajdusting, and a matter of how willing you are to adjust. I don't suppose you'd be with someone who pisses you off enormously in the first place, so the amount you'd have to adapt can't be all that big.

My thoughts anyway.

BATWT
12-11-2005, 12:46 PM
Either way, I never said you were wrong

god bless you. and yes, i know i did say 4/5 years and maybe that was a little gung-ho in retrospect. but i do believe that couples should spend a significant time together (by that i mean cohabiting) to fully comprehend what they'll be getting themselves into when they walk down the aisle for a commitment that should last a lifetime.

Vera
12-11-2005, 12:52 PM
I think it's easy to consider marriage and engagement as mere legal bindings when you're not with someone or have a relationship that's long-term and still going strong. For me right now it's incredible easy to consider that marriage is just names on paper, rings in fingers, a legal agreement. Seeing as how I've seen so many relationships, whether they've been engagements or marriages, fall apart with time (my parents, my parents' later partners, my friends' parents, my relatives..), it's easy to be very cynical.

So when I think marriage not in terms of the ideal of eternal love or whatever, but rather what happens in practise, I think, "It's much easier to take your own shit and leave when you don't have to fill out any divorce papers."

Yeah. That cynical.

One of my best friends just got engaged and it was greeted with great glee over school lunch. Personally I thought it was cool - she and her boyfriend have been together for 2 yrs, are now moving together and aren't one of those couples who have arguments and drama every few months - they seem to really work things out by talking and they share interests and values in life. I hope it works out with them.

So yeah, I'm really conflicted. It feels like marriage is such a great thing when you get married, you're young, you're in love, etc etc but the whole thing with it being forever seems just so ...impossible. I know of marriages that have seemed like because they stuck it so long before divorcing, they ruined themselves and their lives. And their children's lives. Not naming anybody but let's just say I know the kids and no, wasn't the story of my parents. They never married.

I think I want a someone, eventually. Someone to grow old with, someone who'll understand me and make me laugh and blah blah blah. I want kids, too, some day. I'm not sure if I want to make that relationship a marriage. Maybe I do, maybe I don't. All I know is that I don't want to ruin my life with a person I stopped loving. I don't want to stay together for the kids. I don't want to ruin my kids' lives, either.

Nina
12-11-2005, 01:09 PM
Vera, I dont understand the difference between
a) living with your partner, have kids together, not be married
b) living with your partner, have kids together, be married
and then seeing that the relationship doesnt work and split. It's still "mommy and daddy" for the kids, whether the parents are married or not, so how does that make things easier for the children?

T-6005
12-11-2005, 01:12 PM
When I think of marriage, I'm extremely torn.

I mean, I think it's a great thing for two people to celebrate, and it's a wonderful thing when it lasts their whole lives. And I agree with Sunny - I've never understood how it would be a loss. Although I suppose people who enjoy one-night stands with strangers would disagree.

The reason I'm torn, though, is because I'm a huge skeptic. I second-guess myself incessantly. I'm afraid that once I'd committed to the idea of marrying someone, I'd spend day and night wondering if I'd done the right thing.

I do have hopes that I won't - but it is a fear of mine that after long years of wondering whether I've done the right thing, I'll have worried my relationship into a huge problem in my life.

But I'm not worrying too much about it. I'm 18 - it's not like I'm lacking for time. I fully expect my ideals to change between now and a possible future.

Vera
12-11-2005, 01:22 PM
Er, I never said not being married makes things easier for the kids. Legally, it's probably easier to split up if you're not married. Then there's an issue with the way some people concieve marriage: the idea you have to stick together even if it's making you miserable because marriage is forever. Like my friend once said, "To me, marriage is forever - if I marry someone, I'll never divorce him." Now, if some people think that, and I'm not saying everyone does, the limit of divorcing someone because it's not working out is higher.

But then again, I see this as a general problem with today's society. When we talk marriage, we also talk divorce. We talk divorce rates, we talk alimonies, we talk custody battles. We don't talk working out marital problems. On the other hand, back in the day there were marriages that lasted a lifetime but where the love died as soon as or even before the kids flew out of the nest. Divorce wasn't an option, but extra-marital affairs were one. So when people talk about marriage today, I don't think it's so much about people having unhappier marriages but the bar being lower - being seek divorces because it's not a huge step anymore.

I sound so awful right now. FYI, I do believe in True Love and I do believe in people finding perfect partners for themselves. Some marriages will last just because the people work together and fit so well together and understand each other and are friends as well as lovers. These matches do happen. Sadly, though, I do also think it may take time for people to find those partners they get on that well. The person you end up marrying when you're young might not be that person.

HornyPope
12-11-2005, 01:36 PM
Guys who get married are:

http://tinypic.com/ifvbes.jpg


Well except me of course. I'm hardkore.

Sunny
12-11-2005, 01:40 PM
hahahahah that's amazing.

the_GoDdEsS
12-11-2005, 01:51 PM
You really can't set any limits because it all depends on the couple themselves. I will marry the man I establish a partnership with. A partnership, not just being two lovey dovey bunnies. A partnership to me means being able to live together, being good friends, being attracted to each other, loving each other, being able to cope with every day problems, being able to understand each other, know each other real well, being able to accept each other's faults because nobody is perfect, live perfect with our imperfections even, have things in common, a similar view on life and our future and yet still have enough space for development, trust and function as two independent people together and learning from each other every day. Yes. Yes, it's hard but it can be done.

JoY
12-11-2005, 01:59 PM
I'm very positive about it. one day I hope I'll marry. I don't care how fucking young I am & how fucking female to have such a dreamboat sailing through my imagination, but I. want. to. get. married. some day. & have babies. Jewbortions preferably.

fuck people who state with such confidence it's a limitation of your freedom. it's only a proof & acknowledgement of your love written down on a piece of paper. how the hell is love limiting? isn't love supposed to be liberating, freeing you from loneliness, filling you with positive feelings & your life with positive things? isn't the future something you should be excited about, just as much as the present, instead of being afraid of?

I live with my boyfriend & I definitely do not feel tied down. I can't imagine I ever would, being in a relationship with someone I adore. because whatever I do in life, it's still going to be my own choice. to marry, to devorce, to stick together, to live together, to sleep around... everything I do.. is my own choice. so whether I make the wrong decisions, or the right decisions.. it doesn't matter at all, because I can't be tied down, or limited in my freedom of making whatever choices I want to make. & I could decide to marry tomorrow with the freedom I have & I'd still have the same freedom, BUT I know it'd be a bad decision, since I'm simply not ready for it. (neither is my boyfriend, by the way) I guess it's as simple as that. the only one who can limit you & chop away bits & pieces of your own freedom is you.

JoY
12-11-2005, 02:16 PM
honestly i don't like the idea of following a pre-designed pattern of behavior when it comes to matters as personal as this. i mean, ideally, people are *supposed* to meet, then date for some time, then after a whiiiile move in together, then get engaged.. etc. I found myself not following that "schedule" at all... we skipped the "dating" phase and went from being best friends to moving in together. And there haven't been any problems. I don't think a long waiting period is necessary if both partners are mature and reasonable enough to understand the commitment and the dynamics of a relationship.

*shrugs*
I'm pretty much in the same situation, except we already lived together when we started 'dating'. our 'dates' usually started & ended on the livingroom couch with a bottle of wine & a movie. we never had to go anywhere outside the house to see each other, since we were roommates to begin with. so we skipped a part. we skipped the part that included the excitement of seeing each other finally again & moved right to the part of the excitement when either one of the two comes home to the other. *shrugs* it's worked out for the both of us.

we are kind of curious how it'd be if we didn't live together & we're planning on finding out. so that's going to be weird; our second step wouldn't be to move in with each other, but to move out, away from each other. kind of scary, but we're both wondering what the fuck we've missed out on, when we skipped two or three chapters from the universal dating-manual. actually.. I'm guessing we didn't miss out on anything at all.

JoY
12-11-2005, 02:28 PM
hold on a minute.. marriage has nothing to do with love? BECAUSE you know a whole bunch of unmarried loving couples? that's like saying smoking has nothing to do with cancer, because 80% of the smokers never get the disease.

marriage DOES have a whole lot to do with love. the whole existence of marriage is based on mere love. the fact that people have misinterpreted love, have found other reasons & purposes of marriage overtime, doesn't change the fact that originally marriage has EVERYTHING to do with love.

when/if I marry, I'll do it out of love. not to prove it for myself, or anyone else, but to celebrate it. to make it official to the state, so our love is world-wide acknowledged. to turn my relationship into something beautiful. (something beautiful being marriage) because to me.. marriage IS beautiful. it's sharing a last name (though you can choose not to), it's sharing a life (though you can do that perfectly fine without marriage too), it's sharing bills (though you can choose not to), it's sharing fucking everything. it's just the symbolism of it all. the celebration. the LOVE. fucking hell, I'm so fucking female, but whatever you say; marriage is AWESOME.

if you can make it work.

Sunny
12-11-2005, 02:28 PM
i don't see it as "proving" your love, i see it as celebration.

like, why have birthdays and birth certificates? i mean, people KNOW you exist, and you know you exist, so what's the point? ;p

JoY
12-11-2005, 02:29 PM
exactly my point.

BATWT
12-11-2005, 02:34 PM
be off with you :cool:

Sunny
12-11-2005, 02:42 PM
fucking hell, I'm so fucking female, but whatever you say; marriage is AWESOME.

if you can make it work.

hahah. yes. agreed. god, i'm such a vag. !!

and it's a whole lot of effort, but i like putting in effort if i know it's worth it.

Betty
12-11-2005, 10:57 PM
I just want to say, and I think it's an appropriate enough time, that Mags, you are on my list of "inspiring loving relationships". If ever I lose hope, I will think of you, and a few others, that just seem to have the best relationships in the world, and trust that I will find that at some point.

Tizzalicious
12-11-2005, 11:14 PM
I completely agree with Per. (Which is a good thinbg I suppose.)

Also, I want to get married sometime, but it's not really a big deal to me. I mean, it would be nice, like some people said, to celebrate, etc. But I don't think I need to get married to stay with someone forever. Being married shouldn't be the reason you stay together. But love should be.

And kids. I want kids someday. Not yet though, please no. I don't know if it would be smart for me having kids with my headaches though. My kid might get them just as bad, and I wouldn't like that. But I'll see. I don't want to worry about that yet.

JoY
12-12-2005, 02:07 AM
hahah. yes. agreed. god, i'm such a vag. !!

and it's a whole lot of effort, but i like putting in effort if i know it's worth it.
that totally makes two of us. =P *sappymushyemo*

& same here.

I agree with Tizz, that marriage shouldn't be the actual reason you stay together, all monogamous, forever & ever till the rest of time. but I do think that once you get married, even if you think you've fallen out of love, you should fight for what you have. fight for your marriage. because you didn't get married for nothing, you got married for a good reason. you once surely knew your love wouldn't die, so don't let it die.

Izie
12-12-2005, 02:27 AM
I agree with Tizz, that marriage shouldn't be the actual reason you stay together, all monogamous, forever & ever till the rest of time. but I do think that once you get married, even if you think you've fallen out of love, you should fight for what you have. fight for your marriage. because you didn't get married for nothing, you got married for a good reason. you once surely knew your love wouldn't die, so don't let it die.

I pretty much agree, but I think you should also fight for normal relationships (providing they're long and stuff), and work on it, and not just let it go. Because things get tough, but that doesn't mean it's not worth it. Boo.

wheelchairman
12-12-2005, 02:34 AM
I'm only going to marry a virgin. And one with good taste.

Izie
12-12-2005, 02:35 AM
Good luck getting a virgin with GOOD taste to marry you :p

wheelchairman
12-12-2005, 02:36 AM
Good luck getting a virgin with GOOD taste to marry you :p
Well, you're certainly off the list, on BOTH accounts young woman.

Tizzalicious
12-12-2005, 02:40 AM
Good luck getting a virgin with GOOD taste to marry you :p

Lolz. Only girls with bad taste want Per. I think I'm the living proof of that.

And Iz, I completely agree, marriage shouldn't be the reason to fight.

JoY
12-12-2005, 02:46 AM
I pretty much agree, but I think you should also fight for normal relationships (providing they're long and stuff), and work on it, and not just let it go. Because things get tough, but that doesn't mean it's not worth it. Boo.
fully agreed.

Izie
12-12-2005, 02:46 AM
Well, you're certainly off the list, on BOTH accounts young woman.

Oh, how true this is :(

Actually, it's not, screw you. Psh.

And yah yah Tizzle, poor you :p

JoY
12-12-2005, 02:56 AM
And Iz, I completely agree, marriage shouldn't be the reason to fight.
...that's not what she said. she just said it goes for (long lasting) relationships too. if you want to stick together, then no matter how difficult the circumstances, you have no choice but to fight for what you have. & that could be a marriage, a relationship, whatever. in the case of marriage you explicetely made a choice to stay together & all I'm saying is that you don't do such a thing without a reason. you once made that decision out of love. a love so strong, you never expect it to die. I think a huge choice like to get married -is- a rather good reason to fight. because even though the reason to get married may fade, it once was a good enough reason to promise to stick together forever. & you can't forget that. you can't ignore that. you can't just break that promiss when things get rough. just like you can't sleep around in a relationship, which is basically the same promiss, but not as explicetely. being married = being in a relationship (it doesn't necessarily work the other way around, though :p ) & it both comes down to the same things, the same promisses. except you've explicetely said you'd stay together forever when you got married.

Tizzalicious
12-12-2005, 02:58 AM
Maybe I worded it wrong, what I meant was, you shouldn't just fight because you are married, or only when you are married.

Izie
12-12-2005, 02:58 AM
Bella speaks the truth.

killer_queen
12-13-2005, 12:23 PM
Well, marriage doesn't sound so scary for me. Also, I don't have the chance to live my life freely, spend my every night with different men before getting married. But also I don't think it's awesome too like Bella. I mean, marriage, seeing a man's face every day and night. I can easily get bored of people. I don't think I'm able to waste my whole life with one man.
And about getting married too young. It's so wrong for me. Before I get married and have kids and spend all the money I earn for them I want to do whatever I want with my money. I want to buy shoes from Gucci, not buy toys for my children when I'm 25.


I'm only going to marry a virgin. And one with good taste.
I don't know about the good taste but I definitely am a virgin. Just wanted to mention.

wheelchairman
12-13-2005, 12:27 PM
Ah so far Killer Queen is number on the list.

Tizzalicious
12-13-2005, 01:26 PM
OMG. Teh jealous!

HeadAroundU
12-13-2005, 02:55 PM
You really can't set any limits because it all depends on the couple themselves. I will marry the man I establish a partnership with. A partnership, not just being two lovey dovey bunnies. A partnership to me means being able to live together, being good friends, being attracted to each other, loving each other, being able to cope with every day problems, being able to understand each other, know each other real well, being able to accept each other's faults because nobody is perfect, live perfect with our imperfections even, have things in common, a similar view on life and our future and yet still have enough space for development, trust and function as two independent people together and learning from each other every day. Yes. Yes, it's hard but it can be done.
wow briliant :)


If you and a partner are really in love, why spend money getting a piece of paper that proves it ?
Marriage is good thing if it's done everything what Sim said.It's something to show to your family/friends if you have any ;)
It's a proof that you are intelligent...etc
Wedding should be one of the best days in your life.

Sunny
12-13-2005, 07:08 PM
And about getting married too young. It's so wrong for me. Before I get married and have kids and spend all the money I earn for them I want to do whatever I want with my money. I want to buy shoes from Gucci, not buy toys for my children when I'm 25.



people need to realize marriage doesn't equal MAKING BABIES right away. wtf. i'm married and helll no i don't want kids.

killer_queen
12-14-2005, 05:43 AM
It is in Turkey. And I'm not saying all the couples should make babies. But it's obvious that marrying is a kind of responsibility.

DaDude15
12-14-2005, 11:13 AM
word the fuck up