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View Full Version : Life fucking hates me



JoY
12-21-2005, 10:22 AM
so yeah, I keep making these ranty topics to share my pain & sorrow with a bunch of people I don't know, but ARGH. when you think you've seen it all & by now know everything about the twists & turns of luck in the wrong direction...

monday evening my boyfriend & I come home late. he coughs one time, only once (though he does have a loud cough) & immediately Anton comes out his room in his uberflattering boxershort to tell us to keep it down & let him sleep, because he has two tests the next day. so sure, we can do that. we respect that & stuff. so we go upstairs, get sexy & end up doing horizontal hokey-pokey. apparently Anton heard us, because at some point I hear footsteps up the stairs, coming real close, REAL fast. I jump off Huibert & curl up to a little Isa-ball & in the mean while Huibert does a desperate attempt to cover himself with a tiny bit of blanket. Anton STORMS in like crazy & of course, naturally, we get rather pissed off. you know, there are different ways to let someone know they're making noise. especially when you know you're walking into two naked people mixing sperm & eggs. you just don't DO such a thing.

either way, Huib reacts furiously, Anton is obviously shocked by his reaction, runs down the stairs, packs his backpack & says he's going away. knowing him, we both know he's going to his mommy. our house-owner. with a rationality like Linda's. at this point we're still pissed off, but still try to make him stay.

he didn't. now our house-owner, Antons mother has decided it would be a good idea to sit around the table together to work this out. let me remind me; this is my sexlife we're talking about. #&^@&*^# while I was biking home today from the medical faculty I'm thinking I could write Antons mother an e-mail, saying it'd be rediculous & unnecessary to come over for such a thing. so I'm thinking about what I should say in the e-mail & suddenly my front wheel gets stuck in the tramrails & I'm tossed into the air & see the ground coming towards my face rediculously fast.

now my chin is the size of Jay fucking Leno, is as blue as Huiberts blood & my knee the size of a kingsize basketball. fucking scary. & my entire face hurts every time I smile, laugh, cry & I have to HOLD it, while talking. this fucking sucks.*kickes planet Earth*

feel for me, goddammit.

wheelchairman
12-21-2005, 10:25 AM
Aww you poor thing.

I'm sorry but I did laugh. This is possibly the worst luck I've ever heard. Especially with regards to Anton and his mother. oh man that is terrible.

I'll send you 100 euros if you can convince his mother that you and Huibert had a living abortion? ;)

At least she doesn't want to throw you out. She's a vindictive bitch like that.

And Anton, my god, with a backpack? that's pretty sad....

Tizzalicious
12-21-2005, 10:25 AM
OMG. You are even clumsier than I am. That sucks though! *hugs* I hope you feel better soon!

And Anton...OMG. Terrible. He sucks so much.

JoY
12-21-2005, 11:03 AM
*cuddles Tizz & Per* sorries, I just need lots & lots of cuddles. I was supposed to go to this awesome party tonight, but now I can't go, because I can barely stand with that #@*%^&*@-knee of mine. & now people keep telling me I should go to the hospital, because I didn't go when I broke my ankle.

by the way, when I finally got up again after falling from my bike, there was a circle of about ten people around me. I was looking around me, all amazed, saying something dumb, like "uh, hey everyone. wow, that's a lot of people." three of them were holding a mobile phone, 112 (alarmnumber) already pressed in. when I said that wouldn't be necessary, they were like "are you sure? because we saw you flying & thought you'd break an arm, or something." hah, the one thing I didn't hurt; my arm. & my ankle, surprisingly!

nieh
12-21-2005, 11:03 AM
You just made this post to brag about the fact that you had sex, didn't you!?

JoY
12-21-2005, 11:04 AM
hahahaha, damn, you know me too well.

the_GoDdEsS
12-21-2005, 11:15 AM
Ugh, buy him some babyfood for Christmas. Should calm him down.

wheelchairman
12-21-2005, 11:25 AM
Ugh, buy him some babyfood for Christmas. Should calm him down.
I've heard he's always wanted to see the Berlin Wall....

JoY
12-21-2005, 11:26 AM
or earplugs. or arsenicum.

sKratch
12-21-2005, 11:53 AM
...or a hooker?

JohnnyNemesis
12-21-2005, 12:03 PM
So...when are we beating the shit out of Anton?

I'm so sorry, Isa Isa! After all that ridiculous bullshit, you get into an accident too? Fucking insane. I'm so so sorry!

I blame Anton. Let's fuck him up.

As far as his mother goes, is there any way to sweet talk her into a state of rationality?

JohnnyNemesis
12-21-2005, 12:03 PM
Ugh, buy him some babyfood for Christmas. Should calm him down.

Actually, one of my favorite snacks is baby food. Seriously, that banana stuff is really good.

I'm not joking.

killer_queen
12-21-2005, 12:06 PM
Don't get mad at me but I laughed a little. I'm not good at understanding people's emotions. But I'm wondering what kind of mother Anton has. I feel sorry for him more than I feel sorry for you.

arak0r
12-21-2005, 12:34 PM
who owns the place again?

Izie
12-21-2005, 12:37 PM
...I'm really awful if I laughed? Sorry :(

JoY
12-21-2005, 12:54 PM
Killer Queen -I feel sorry for him a lot of the time too. but yeah, because we live in her house, we have 'a relationship' with her. *shudders* she is so fucking scary, I can't even put it into words. at least HE is used to her, or something. plus, at some point in his life.. he got to move away from her. man, that must've felt mighty fantastic.


Rickyrickrick -I fully agree. war against the fuck0r. mehh, cuddle Bellas. =(
& as far as his mother goes; is there any way to sweet talk Linda into a state of rationality? because that pretty much is how bad it is.

don't ever say one positive word about baby-food again. I thought I'd laugh myself straight into a heart-attack when I heard Anton likes that shit. you. do. not. want to like the same things Anton does. SERIOUSLY.

platinumpt
12-21-2005, 01:02 PM
That's really tough, I hope you get better soon! Didn't you have a short time ago problems in your knees?

Vera
12-21-2005, 01:05 PM
You just made this post to brag about the fact that you had sex, didn't you!?
She didn't ask us what form of birth control we like to use. She's fine.

Aww gods, Bella, that's terrible. Especially with the biking accident. Though Anton+landlady from Hell of course sucks as well but physical pain is something I go to any lengths to avoid, so yeah, sucks. :/

Maybe we could build a Berlin Wall around Anton and his mother. Ugh.

Turn to alcohol to numb the pain. Think of all the good times. I send you my sympathy, babes.

JoY
12-21-2005, 03:06 PM
That's really tough, I hope you get better soon! Didn't you have a short time ago problems in your knees?
nah, two years ago I fell off my bike drunk & broke my ankle + leg. not too long ago that same ankle was operated, because it didn't heal well. it's the same leg as where my crappy ankle is; the right one. I'm kind of used to limping with that one. but rarrr, it hurts!

Sanni, you're my little cuddlebunny.<3 & yes, oh yes. let's build a Berlin wall around Anton & relatives.

WebDudette
12-21-2005, 03:24 PM
Actually, one of my favorite snacks is baby food. Seriously, that banana stuff is really good.

I'm not joking.

I've ate it before and liked it. But I don't have any baby nephews anymore so I don't eat it.

Wow, terrible luck sorry to hear that.

JoY
12-21-2005, 03:52 PM
& now, in my desperate quest for sympathy, I shall show you my war-wound.

http://img425.imageshack.us/img425/5497/warwound26ek.jpg
not so bad, eh? wait till I slightly tilt my face.

http://img425.imageshack.us/img425/4830/warwound31cf.jpg
see my point? that just fucking sucks.
of course I''m only smiling for the sake of the picture. you don't want a picture of me all bruised, looking sad on top. my face isn't exactly supercharming right now.. *sigh*

http://img425.imageshack.us/img425/5425/warwound45fz.jpg
yeah.
UGLY MCJAYLENO-FACE!

YES, I officially declared my bike war. lamp, be my weapon! rarr!

Little_Miss_1565
12-21-2005, 03:56 PM
Eeeeeeee. That suxorz. *hugs*

Well, you can always hope that if she raised Anton, she knows he's an oversensitive prick...

JoY
12-21-2005, 04:08 PM
*huggle*

hmm yeah, the problem is, she's just the same. but I've already decided I won't be at home tomorrow, so it's officially not my problem anymore. bwah, I'm going to move anyway. fi-nally!

*jumps around on one leg*

The Talking Pie
12-21-2005, 04:28 PM
Oh you overreact, you look über-pretty even with your wound.

platinumpt
12-21-2005, 04:36 PM
YEah, you will be a hell of a handsome doctor.

coke_a_holic
12-21-2005, 04:52 PM
Oh you overreact, you look über-pretty even with your wound.
Quoted for truth (and the fact that I don't feel like typing "über").

JoY
12-21-2005, 04:56 PM
Oh you overreact, you look über-pretty even with your wound.
what the... b-b-but Dave? it looks like a blue goatie! =(

thanks bunches anyway, guys. aw.<3

The Talking Pie
12-21-2005, 05:07 PM
So you have a little wound, no big deal. It doesn't take away from the rest of you :)

JoY
12-21-2005, 05:15 PM
that's real sweet, but it fucking hurts to land on your face & knee, though, after being launched from your bike. ouchies. ;/ plus, me limping looks fug-ley.

*huggles le Dave for making Bella feel all warm & fuzzy inside*

JoY
12-21-2005, 05:23 PM
hahahaha. I think it's more Huibert's reaction ("HAVE YOU GONE MAD?!") that drove him to leave the house. Huibert has the patience of thirty angels; manage to piss him off & your life has officially failed.

but no, he isn't very sexually active. he knows sex & how it works & stuff, but he hasn't had many willing objects to bring it all into practice lately. poor Anton with his unused condoms size XXL. *tries to hold in laughter*

*cracks up anyway*

All About Eve
12-21-2005, 05:41 PM
Hey Joy, atleast you're not a sad panda.

http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c257/DreamAndDay/panda.jpg

JoY
12-22-2005, 06:30 AM
TTIG -oh no, I don't blame him either. if I hadn't been too much in shock, sitting there, curled up like a little Isa-ball, protecting my privats, I bet I would've exploded with anger. it was GOOD sex too. not that that really makes a difference, but GAH.

AAE -no, then I'd have to have two black eyes, instead of one black chin.

TheUnholyNightbringer
12-22-2005, 06:34 AM
If I saw you in the street with THAT injury and holding THAT lamp like that I'd cross the road for fear of being twatted.

Paint_It_Black
12-22-2005, 11:38 AM
You have my sympathy. Hope things get better soon.

JoY
12-22-2005, 01:20 PM
If I saw you in the street with THAT injury and holding THAT lamp like that I'd cross the road for fear of being twatted.
u iz teh scaird of me? =(

thank you, Richard. ;]

Human
12-22-2005, 01:23 PM
Poor you, I hope you feel better

JoY
12-22-2005, 01:33 PM
aw.<3 of course I will. I'm just bitching & moaning about it now, because I look like a fucking freak-show, but I'm positive that I'll be fine. *giggles* despite the severe emotional damage of having to carry around such a giant mark on my face. *giggles some more*

don't worry though, I can laugh about this. I made this topic especially for everyone who sort of knows me; somehow, for some reason, these things always happen to me & everyone says it couldn't have happened to anyone else. the irony & stupidness of this should make people laugh/giggle. laughing=good, so no one feel guilty.

Vera
12-22-2005, 01:34 PM
WTF is wrong with me, I totally thought you were n00d in the first picture.

0_0

killer_queen
12-22-2005, 01:35 PM
Nothing. I hope. Because I thought she was naked too.

JoY
12-22-2005, 01:43 PM
it's just the pink sweater. after making the picture, I was like, "wtf? I look necked?" too.