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Mota Boy
12-22-2005, 02:18 PM
It's that time of the year again, boys and girls, the time when the local paper publishes letters to Santa and you get to laugh at the hopes and dreams of children.


Dear Santa, This is your friend Mrs. Mason. I have a class of 19 boys and girls this year that want to hear from you. Many of the girls want a Dora doll, Dora talking kitchen, or a Barbie doll. The boys want escalade trucks, batman, or spiderman. My FSA Ms. Smith wants her old jacket back and a good man. Thank you Santa and please write back!


dear santa, i want a Lptop that can play dvds and games. also i want it to have an enternet. thanks, cortney


dear santa, I want a stuffed owl for christmas. I walso want a bb gun. I want a big stuffed santa clause that is one foot long and I want a clown that has a big red nose that makes sounds. I want a mouse that is about two feet long that also makes sounds. I have been a real good boy all year. I wanta afour bean bags to give to my parents, brother and me.

The ones that let you know I live in hick country.


Dear santa what I would like for christmas is a 243. The reason I want this is because I want a gun that can go out there and get a deer. All I got right now is a shot gun that you got me in 2003. I could have got a six point but it was out of range. I have recently shot a 1 pt with my shotgun. This is the biggest buck ever my only buck.


Dear Santa Claus, I want to send you a letter to you because I want a gun to hunt a frog and a deer and a chicken and a crocodile. And Santa Claus I want a basketball with the net that says Boo-Yah! I want an army man to help me hunt the frogs and chickens and crocodiles And I want a video game with Jimmy Neutron and Sponge Bob and Timmy Turner and Danny Phantom. And a Billy Hatcher video game and race car game. I want the remote control dinosaur car thing. I want a monster to draw on with the colors. Thank you Santa Claus for toys and I will bring you food when you come down the chimney. Good night Santa!


Dear santa,here is my listfor christmas, I would like a walmart gift card, and a bass pro shops gift card and lots of games. PS my dad wants a 243,deer corn,and a heater for the dear season he has been realy good.

The kids that get right to it:


dear santa, bike ,ninja turtle, toy motor cycle,toy jeep, truck that has skelton face, game boy, chair sleeping bag

dear santa, i want lots of toys

trucks

This kid's parents are fucked:


dear santa, please bring me everything on my list. i don't have enough room to name them all but i'm sure you know what I want. You will have plenty of cookies and milk waiting on you. Don't forget the magic key. Thanks, Tylor.


The real gems:


I want to be an elf and live with you to make toys.


DEARSANTAILOVE SANTA CLAUSE EVERYONE LOVES SANTA CLAUSE. SANTA IS A NICE BOY. I WANT A ELECTRIC SCOOTER FOR CHRISTMAS. I WANT A BOBBI DOLL TENT CHRISTMAS IS A VERY SNOWY DAY CHRISTMAS IS A FUN DAY YOU CAN GET A PRESENT UNDER THE TREE THE TREE CAN HAVE A DECORATION HE LIVES IN THE NORTH POLE


Dear Santa, I have been a very good girl this year and all I want for christmas is two things. I want for my daughter to be extremely happy for christmas in receiving everything that she wanted and I would love for you to stuff me an extremely wonderful man into my life or either bring more christmas joy and happiness into the one that I am currently dating.


Dear Santa, Please sir, I want toys. I want three apple trees. I want a big Barbie doll house. I want a real cash register and some pretend money. I will let you choose the rest. My teacher says I work hard. I have been good. I help my sister. One time I cried because I got in deep water. I swim in light water so I can see myself. Please Santa, don't let your reindeer to get in my house to poop. Santa, I will give you cookies and milk. Love, Tarra.

nieh
12-22-2005, 02:22 PM
http://www.brandonbird.com/walken/happy_times.jpg

Vera
12-22-2005, 02:23 PM
KIDS SHOULDN'T KNOW WHAT A 243 IS!!!

Sorry, had to let that out.

0r4ng3
12-22-2005, 02:23 PM
KIDS SHOULDN'T KNOW WHAT A 243 IS!!!

Sorry, had to let that out.
I think it's more fucked up that he got a shotgun when he was 9.

Jebus
12-22-2005, 02:26 PM
Even I wasn't sure what a 243 was untill today. =\

lawlz @ wal mart gift card

Nirushika6789
12-22-2005, 02:26 PM
I think it's more fucked up that he got a shotgun when he was 9.
Yea..what the hell kind of parents are they?!

Little_Miss_1565
12-22-2005, 02:27 PM
A-ma-zing. Makes me wish my parents were better liars so I could have believed in Santa when I was a kid.

They all made me laugh varying degrees of uproariously, that is until I got to the end with your signature. "orfeuvre" and "peeben" made me lose it.

Nirushika6789
12-22-2005, 02:27 PM
Even I wasn't sure what a 243 was untill today. =\
haha yea I've never heard of it either :o:(

ninthlayer
12-22-2005, 02:28 PM
http://www.brandonbird.com/walken/happy_times.jpg
A very Sam Jack Christmas indeed.

Twinkle
12-22-2005, 03:48 PM
Billy Hatcher? The kid wanted Billy Hatcher? I mean, what happened to good old Mario Bros. and Grand Theft Auto. Hick towns.

Betty
12-22-2005, 04:07 PM
... a real cash register with pretend money ...

Quite entertaining. Makes me feel less embarassed about my hometown.

Sowhat
12-22-2005, 11:45 PM
You would think even retarded gun-crazy kids wouldn't ask Santa for a gun to kill deer.

the_GoDdEsS
12-23-2005, 12:09 AM
5-8 year old kids are all funny. I always get to hear so much useless information that to them is extremely important. And then they start making things up. Fantasy, I tell you. This week the 6 year olds decided they want to write a letter to Santa to bring miss teacher a boyfriend for Christmas. Way.. weird.

JoY
12-23-2005, 06:09 AM
thes are extremely cute. sometimes disturbing, though. very, very disturbing.

I never wrote letters to Santa. I was always too scared he'd view it as buttkissing for presents. besides, I never really felt the need to.

wheelchairman
12-23-2005, 10:56 AM
When I was 6 I totally wanted a Captain Hook Hook (I don't remember the official name of it, but you can wear on your hand.) And I wrote the letter, and I got it. It was awesome, until I bent it like a week later.

zendor
12-23-2005, 11:43 AM
when i was 7 i wanted only toys, but the kind of toys that are soldiers, mini soldiers, here in argentina they are green and they have a big base were they are landed, and a map to make a battle. Well, i had them for christmas and i had a lot of them i loved them, i think thst nowdays i do reserve some of them, and they make me remember that years, well i don't want to change the way of this thread so, bye, merry christmas for everyone in this thread, and in this forum

Sunny
12-23-2005, 11:51 AM
AHAHAH. WALMART GIFTCARD! and i love the deer shooting fanatic kid. omg.
when i was a kid i'd write long, elaborate letters to Santa, explaining why he should get me what i want, and how it'd be completely unreasonable if he didn't. then i doodled all over the letter and made it pretty. i was born into my profession, i'm tellin ya.

Yatesy
12-23-2005, 12:09 PM
"dear santa, i want lots of toys "

I found that one funny for some reason.

Sowhat
12-23-2005, 08:50 PM
Santa will be bringing me presents tonight! My stocking is hung up in the lounge room. :)

T-6005
12-23-2005, 08:58 PM
I never wrote letters to Santa. I told my parents what I wanted and expected them to get in touch with him on my behalf.

coke_a_holic
12-23-2005, 09:44 PM
I never wrote letters to Santa. I told my parents what I wanted and expected them to get in touch with him on my behalf.
I wrote one letter to Santa before realizing the truth. I couldn't sleep, and I heard my parents wrapping/bringing the presents down. Oh how the truth does hurt. :(

Nowadays I just give my Mom a list of things that I want to get between my birthday, Hanukkah, and Christmas (aren't I lucky to have all three within almost a month of eachother?) and buy whatever I don't get as money comes into my possession.

Sowhat
12-23-2005, 09:48 PM
Makes more sense than God. When was the last time God gave me what I asked for?

Rag Doll
12-23-2005, 09:54 PM
heh, some of those letters are pretty funny/cute.

I wrote a letter to Santa with my grandma's help when I was 3. But that was it. Otherwise, I pointed at every toy commercial that came on tv and yelled *I WANT THAT*.

Twinkle
12-23-2005, 10:08 PM
Do you remember when you actually DID get toys for Christmas, and lots of them. And you were naive enough to believe in Santa Clause. Oh, damn, I'm getting misty-eyed wishing I could go back to that spirit. Its Christmas and I feel like crying; theres something wrong with me.

Endymion
12-23-2005, 10:17 PM
Hanukkah, and Christmas
don't forget kwanzaa!

coke_a_holic
12-23-2005, 10:20 PM
don't forget kwanzaa!
Ah, yes, I almost forgot about my Great-Great Uncle Habbiabooboo from Africa. *gets out that hat that they wear for Kwanzaa that isn't a fez or a yarmulka, but somewhere in between*

Sowhat
12-23-2005, 11:08 PM
Do you remember when you actually DID get toys for Christmas, and lots of them.
I still do. I'm nearly 20.

the_GoDdEsS
12-24-2005, 12:20 AM
I don't remember writing anything. I was an "I believe what I see" child.

Sowhat
12-24-2005, 12:30 AM
I actually believed in impossible shit until I was 7. How embarassing.

killer_queen
12-24-2005, 03:37 AM
Makes more sense than God. When was the last time God gave me what I asked for?
Hmmm, no. When was the last time someone gave you what you asked for? Without knowing you, without expecting anything from you?

Sowhat
12-24-2005, 03:51 AM
Hmmm, no. When was the last time someone gave you what you asked for? Without knowing you, without expecting anything from you?
What? Yes, obviously Santa doesn't exist, it was a joke. I'm not stupid, I don't believe in the impossible.

yay
12-24-2005, 03:53 AM
Santa is getting me a new Motorola Flip Phone. I love the guy, he always gives me what I want.

Sowhat
12-24-2005, 03:54 AM
Awesome! I've got no idea what Santa's getting me, I already found everything I asked for under the Christmas tree. Usually any big gifts are wrapped, and only fun things and food and random novelty stuff goes into the Santa stocking.

notoriousdoc
12-24-2005, 04:30 AM
Makes more sense than God. When was the last time God gave me what I asked for?
The Atheist at Christmas-The great new sitcom from OffBBS

Sowhat
12-24-2005, 04:32 AM
:cool: ..............

notoriousdoc
12-24-2005, 04:32 AM
Hmmm, no. When was the last time someone gave you what you asked for? Without knowing you, without expecting anything from you?
lol religion

Saying that, Islam gave NYC a very nice plane or two a few years ago

Sowhat
12-24-2005, 04:33 AM
Religion iz teh suz0rz!!11

notoriousdoc
12-24-2005, 04:35 AM
Meh, Immigrant song *moshes*

H1T_That
12-24-2005, 04:36 AM
food and random novelty stuff goes into the Santa stocking.

you only get food at christmas time, wow you're missing out big time.

Sowhat
12-24-2005, 04:49 AM
No, I said I only get food and novelty stuff in my Santa stocking.

H1T_That
12-24-2005, 04:53 AM
so...for chrsitmas you get food?

Sowhat
12-24-2005, 05:03 AM
I'm confused as to what you're asking. Yes, my parents put things like Pringles and stuff in my Santa stocking. At least I assume this is what you were asking.

H1T_That
12-24-2005, 05:05 AM
I'm confused as to what you're asking. Yes, my parents put things like Pringles and stuff in my Santa stocking. At least I assume this is what you were asking.

so you mean like luxury foods, sweets etc?

i thought u were saying jsut regular food to survive on was given to you as a present.

Sowhat
12-24-2005, 05:14 AM
Hah, no. No luxoury foods, just normal shop foods but ones I particularly like.

H1T_That
12-24-2005, 05:17 AM
lol ok then.

killer_queen
12-24-2005, 08:42 AM
What? Yes, obviously Santa doesn't exist, it was a joke. I'm not stupid, I don't believe in the impossible.
I'm not saying that. I just think Santa makes no fucking sense. I don't see why little children believe. People love the idea of recieving something without giving or doing anything.

noodlesfan
12-24-2005, 11:30 AM
any parents who can give a 9 year old a shotgun, are clearly fucking rednecks,

"here son, have this"

"what is it daddy?"

"It's my boomstick, passed down from my pappy, to me, to my son"

"gee dad, i don't know if i should have this"

"you want the belt you little shit!? Now get out there and shoot me a squirrel sandwich"

Mota Boy
12-24-2006, 11:36 PM
*bump*

I'll try and transcribe some of the funnier ones from this year tomorrow.

Omni
12-25-2006, 12:22 AM
Actually, the redneck stuff reminds me of a funny mother's day story:

My brother and I were at the local gas station (remember, I live in Arkansas) on Mother's Day, and we saw a hillbilly guy and his wife inside. They, of course, had like 6 kids. And the guy was talking to his wife, and he was like "now you pick you out anything you want, todays your day!" And she was all happy. And it's like... it's a gas station man. Way to treat a lady.

SkunkIt
12-25-2006, 12:57 AM
Ha ha. I remember writing letter to him till I was about 12, I only got what I wanted once. I also remember when I left milk and cookies, he only ate one bots and barely touched the milk and one year I thought Santa Clause was too fat, so I left him carrots and juice (or something healthy).

Oxygene
12-25-2006, 05:10 AM
I was santa for a bunch of little poor/sick/mentally challanged/orphan kids like 6 times this year, and in one case this little 5 year old orphan kid yelled out when I asked the bunch together "do you all want presents"
He yelled out I shit you not "A new mercedes that's at least 1500 ccm" I nearly fainted off my stool, while trying not to laugh.. Little kids rock.

Nineteen Seventy Nine
12-25-2006, 10:23 AM
Guys, I figured it out! I know how Santa goes all around the world so fast.

Me and my little cousin were discussing Santa, when we just remembered time zones. It's not Christmas everywhere, so he has more time to do his work.

OR

There's more than one Santa in each continent or something like that.

Anyway, that's my philosophy.

Dodongo
12-25-2006, 10:57 AM
http://img300.imageshack.us/img300/1084/santasuckskc1.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

sKratch
12-25-2006, 11:41 AM
I need to start reading the dates on posts more often... I keep getting to posts by users who haven't posted in like a year, and then notice the post happened a year ago.

Omni
12-25-2006, 11:45 AM
Guys, I figured it out! I know how Santa goes all around the world so fast.

Me and my little cousin were discussing Santa, when we just remembered time zones. It's not Christmas everywhere, so he has more time to do his work.

OR

There's more than one Santa in each continent or something like that.

Anyway, that's my philosophy.


Or he's some kind of fictional character.

offspring dude
12-25-2006, 11:57 AM
This thread is so full of lolz and winz!

I think i got to write about three letters to santa when i was in my young day (13 is way too old,) but i kinda adressed it to God more than Santa, it was kinda asking Santa to ask God if he would give me the things i wanted. I guess i did it that way because my granny always told me that i should always remember the meaning of xmas and that i should thank God for all the things i have and such and such, she is very religious.

I cried so much when i found out santa wasn't real though, the truth was just so dissapoiting, i couldn't get over it for like a week:(

0r4ng3
12-25-2006, 03:19 PM
Wow, it sounds like it's been a rough week for you, offspring dude.

offspring dude
12-25-2006, 03:32 PM
Yeah it definately has, I mean i got awesome presents and everything but, when you know it's not santa, it just doesn't feel the same anymore:( *runs off crying*

wheelchairman
12-25-2006, 04:41 PM
No that's totally gay.

DeAtHsTaR
12-25-2006, 04:47 PM
I wrote one letter to Santa before realizing the truth. I couldn't sleep, and I heard my parents wrapping/bringing the presents down. Oh how the truth does hurt. :(

Nowadays I just give my Mom a list of things that I want to get between my birthday, Hanukkah, and Christmas (aren't I lucky to have all three within almost a month of eachother?) and buy whatever I don't get as money comes into my possession.

You get Hanukkah AND Christmas??? You lucky fuck.