View Full Version : Boredom...I thought I'd share something with you all

12-04-2004, 02:13 PM
I'm fucking bored out of my mind so if anyone else is bored and feels like reading well...read these. I'm sure if I really REALLY wanted to, I could find the funny ones I've been told but the internet is retarded and can't seem to come up with any good Northwest tribal websites with other stories and I really don't feel like typing them all up from memory..

"Raven Steals the Light"

.....This story is shared by many northwest coast nations.....

There was a time many years ago when the earth was covered in darkness. An inky pitch blanketed the world making it very difficult for anyone to hunt or fish or gather berries for food. An old man lived along the banks of a stream with his daughter who may have been very beautiful or possibly quite homely. This didn't matter to the old man however because after all it was dark and who could tell.
The reason why the world was dark had to do with the old man who had a box that contained a box that held many other boxes. In the very last box was all the light in the universe and this was a treasure he selfishly kept to himself.
The mischievious Raven existed at that time because he always had. He was none too happy about the state of the world for he blundered about in the dark bumping into everything. His interfering nature peaked one day when he stumbled by the old man's hut and overheard him muttering about his boxes. He instantly decided to steal the light but first had to find a way to get inside the hut.
Each day the young girl would go to the stream to fetch water so the Raven transformed himself into a tiny hemlock needle and floated into the girl's bucket. Working a bit of his "trickster" magic, he made the girl thirsty and as she took a drink he slipped down her throat. Once down in her warm insides he changed again; this time into a small human being and took a very long nap.
The girl did not know what was happening to her and didn't tell her father. One day the Raven emerged as a little boy child. If anyone could have seen him in the dark, they would have noticed that he was a peculiar looking child with a long beaklike nose, a few feathers here and there, and the unmistakably shining eyes of the Raven.
Both father and daughter were delighted with their new addition and played with him for hours on end. As the child explored his new surroundings he soon determined that the light must be kept in the big box in the corner. When he first tried to open the box, his grandfather scolded him profusely which in turn started a crying and squawking fit the likes of which the old man had never seen. As grandfathers have done since the beginning of time he caved in and gave the child the biggest box to play with. This brought peace to the hut for a brief time but it wasn't long until the child pulled his scam again, and again, and again until finally only one box remained.
After much coaxing and wailing the old man at last agreed to let the child play with the light for only a moment. As he tossed the ball of light the child transformed into the Raven and snatching the light in his beak, flew through the smokehole and up into the sky.
The world was instantly changed forever. Mountains sprang into the bright sky and reflections danced on the rivers and oceans. Far away, the Eagle was awakened and launched skyward - his target now clearly in sight.
Raven was so caught up in all the excitement of the newly revealed world that he nearly didn't see the Eagle bearing down on him. Swerving sharply to escape the outstretched talons, he dropped nearly half of the ball of light which fell to the earth. Shattering into one large and many small pieces on the rocky ground the bits of light bounced back up into the heavens where they remain to this day as the moon and the stars.
The Eagle pursued Raven beyond the rim of the world and exhausted by the long chase, Raven let go of what light still remained. Floating gracefully above the the clouds, the sun as we now know it started up over the mountains to the east.
The first rays of the morning sun brought light through the smokehole of the old man's house. He was weeping in sorrow over his great loss and looking up, saw his daughter for the first time. She was very beautiful and smiling, he began to feel a little better.

"Raven and Crow's Potlatch"
........ a Salish tale from Washington ........

Raven used to live high up in the upper Skagit River country. He was very lazy. In the summer when the other animals were busy gathering food for the winter, he would be flying from rock to stump to rock making fun of them. Raven just laughed when Crow (his cousin) urged him to follow Squirrel's example-but Raven never prepared for the cold months, when the snow would drift over the ground and cover the remaining food.

But now Raven was in trouble. Winter had come and the snows were deep. He was hungry and Raven loved to eat. He had to find someone who would share their food with him.

Raven went to see Squirrel. He had a huge supply of pine nuts and seeds and other food hidden all over the place. Raven poked his head into Squirrel's nest in an old fir tree. Squirrel had lots to eat. Raven politely begged for some food. Squirrel scolded him - that was always Squirrel's way - "You refused to work and save for winter and you poked much fun at me. You deserve to starve!"

Raven went looking for Bear but he was sound asleep in his cave and could not be awakened. Raven looked around for some food but it was all in Bear's belly. He had already eaten it all and was sleeping till spring.

Raven was now very hungry. He thought, "Who can give me something to eat? Everyone is either stingy like Squirrel or sleeping like Bear and Marmot, or they have gone south for the winter like the snowbirds." Then he thought of Crow. He would be easy to fool.

Raven flew to Crow's nest. "Cousin Crow, we must talk about your coming potlatch!" Crow answered, "I have not planned a potlatch."

Raven ignored his response. "Crow, everyone is talking about your potlatch. Will you sing at it?" "Sing?" Crow had not known that anybody really cared for his singing voice, even though in those days his song was much more like that of Wood Thrush than it is today.

Raven continued to talk of Crow's potlatch. "You are very talented and possess a beautiful voice. Everyone will be so disappointed if you don't sing at your potlatch."

"What potlatch?" Crow inquired. "Do you really like my singing?"

"We love your singing, Crow," Raven answered. "The winter's cold has chilled the forest and we're cold and hungry and singing will help us forget our cold feet and empty stomachs.

"Now you get started fixing the food - looks like you have plenty here - and I will go invite the guest to your potlatch. You can practice your songs as you cook!"

Crow's hesitation now overcome, he began to prepare all the food he had collected for winter and as he prepared it, he practiced his songs. The more he thought about the feast and how everyone wanted to hear him sing, the more excited he became.

Meanwhile, Raven was offering invitations to all the animals of the forest. (Of course Marmot and Bear and Beaver were sleeping, and Robin and Goose had gone south.) To each he said the same thing, "Come to MY potlatch! I have worked hard to prepare it. There will be much food at Raven's potlatch and Crow is helping and will sing for us. There will be fern roots and wild potatoes, dried berries, fish and meat. Come to MY potlatch! It will be a great occasion." Raven did not invite Squirrel however, since he had refused to share his food with him, but all of the other animals were invited to Raven's Potlatch.

When he returned to Crow, he was still busy cooking and singing. Raven told him, "Everyone is coming - be sure and fix all your food - they will be hungry after their journey. Your songs are sounding good. Crow's potlatch will be a great feast!"

As the guests arrived, Raven welcomed each one to his potlatch. There was Deer and Mountain Goat and Mouse, Rabbit, Grouse, and Jay. The guests were seated and the food was brought out. Crow started to sit and eat but Raven asked him for a song first. "It's not good to sing on a full stomach, Crow," he encouraged.

Crow began to sing. Every time he would stop to eat Raven would insist that he sing another song. "You can't sing with your mouth full, Crow!" Encouraged again and again by the guests who were busy stuffing themselves with his food, Crow sang song after song after song - all day until night - and Crow's voice became hoarser and hoarser until all he could do was "Caw - Caw".

As was the custom, the leftover food was collected by the guests and taken by them for their homeward journey. Even Raven had taken his share and left as Crow was cleaning up. Crow had nothing left to eat. "At least," Crow thought, "I won't go hungry. I will be invited to their feasts." For it was the custom that having been entertained, each guest was now obliged to return the favor and invite the host for a return potlatch.

But the invitations never came. Since all the guests thought it was Raven who hosted the feast, Raven was invited to enough dinners to keep his belly full for several winters and he never went hungry.

Poor Crow, who had been fooled, had been reduced to starving and never regained his singing voice either. He was destined to spend his winters begging in all the camps of men for scraps of food. And that's where we find him today - squabbling over scraps in grocery store parking lots. Caw! Caw! Caw!

12-04-2004, 02:21 PM
Mhh, yea, I didn't read any word of your post, just the thread..
bored bored bored bored,
Let's have another mandarin.

12-04-2004, 03:09 PM
Can't be arsed to read that, hurts my eyes on a screen.

12-04-2004, 03:27 PM
I skim read bits and i remember a rabbit and a raven? And maybe a mountain...

12-04-2004, 08:37 PM
Haha you guys are so lame. The first one is about how Raven brought us the sun, moon and stars. The second one is about why the Crow is always found outside public places looking for scraps of food.

12-04-2004, 11:51 PM
ABCDEFG...bla bla bla bla bla bla bla now i know my ABC'S... yeah sing with me!