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killer_queen
02-19-2006, 01:58 PM
This is my last year at high school and we're going to have these, I don't know what do call it, you know, people tells what do they think about you, etc, there are pictures... A yearbook? Anyway, I guess you got it.

Well, I was reading what my friends wrote for me and I was like "wtf? this is not me!" I don't think I'm acting like someone else at school. But maan, it was like reading things about someone I don't know.

Do you think people see others in a way they want to see? And what about your friends & parents? Are they like my friends or do they really know who you are?

Linda
02-19-2006, 02:00 PM
No one ever knows who you really are. Only you know that.

TheUnholyNightbringer
02-19-2006, 02:01 PM
No one ever knows who you really are. Only you know that.

I think she means more about perception.

Nineteen Seventy Nine
02-19-2006, 02:01 PM
The kids at my school see me as that kid who is easy to talk to and will do anything.

Paint_It_Black
02-19-2006, 02:05 PM
Do you think people see others in a way they want to see?

I think that's often a part of it. But we also see ourselves in a way we want to see.

Personally, I'd say most of my real life friends know one side of me pretty well. But there's a lot more of me that they don't know at all. I'm like, complicated and shit. Lolz.

killer_queen
02-19-2006, 02:21 PM
But we also see ourselves in a way we want to see.
I don't think this is true. People know who they are pretty well. They just show themselves in a way they want to be seen.

Drummerguy123
02-19-2006, 02:22 PM
lol

http://www.plyrics.com/lyrics/offspring/nevergonnafindme.html

Paint_It_Black
02-19-2006, 02:23 PM
People know who they are pretty well. They just show themselves in a way they want to be seen.

You should meet some of my friends. It might change your mind. I know complete morons who genuinely think they are intelligent, social retards who think they are the life of the party, and total pussies who think they are badass motherfuckers.

killer_queen
02-19-2006, 02:28 PM
Firstly idiots think they are smart because they are too stupid to think they are smart. Or something like that.
Secondly, how do you know they really think like that? Maybe they know what they are but they just don't want to accept it.

Paint_It_Black
02-19-2006, 02:31 PM
Well, I like to think I'm a good judge of people, and understand most people pretty well. And I've known some of these people a long time. I've had many, many conversations with them, and noticed definite trends. Trust me, their self-image is totally screwy. I could post examples, but honestly that would be dull.

Twinkle
02-19-2006, 02:32 PM
Deep thinking.
Yeah, I think I've know who I am, and I've come to accept that it's just simply me. The kind of friends I have know me almost too well. There are no secrets, even about some embarrassing parts of life. My friends know me in and out, but there are still some things they don't know because since they know so much, they think they know EVERYTHING, but they don't knkow it at all. And as much as they know about me, I can't reciprocate.

Izie
02-19-2006, 02:43 PM
Oh this is very simple.

No, nobody knows me completely. Some people get close, but that's it. If we had had a yearbook, I bet it would have been funny for me to read. I'm different depending on who I'm talking to, but not in the "absolute adaptation" kind of way - there's just some people that you talk to about music, others about books, others about whatever...

Only really close people see all the parts of you, and even then only as much as you want to show, if you want to show. Or otherwise they'd have to be pretty damn smart/similar to you to be able to interpret everything properly.

Nirushika6789
02-19-2006, 02:46 PM
People who don't know me well, people who see know me from far away or to just look at see me as very quiet and reserved.

But people who know me well and are my close friends know I am the opposite. Talkative and Fun. Yes I am reserved but not in the way the others think, if you know what I mean.

Really the only people who know me well are people who have known me a few years. I don't 'be' myself until I get to know someone well...until then when I am around them I am quiet. But I can see myself changing and become more open so who knows, some day I could be insanely loud. *ponders* nah :)

killer_queen
02-19-2006, 02:49 PM
Twinkle, it's not about your secrets or your embarrassing moments. It's about the personality. I mean they know you but is it really "you"?

Izie, I do the same thing. I don't know if it's a problem or not but it's like I have a different personality for everybody. Maybe not everybody but every certain group of people. And I don't know why I am doing this. And I wonder why people don't show who they really are (including me).

KuRt_CoBaiN
02-19-2006, 02:51 PM
I'd Rather Be Hated For Who I Am Then Loved For Who I Am Not

Izie
02-19-2006, 02:52 PM
Izie, I do the same thing. I don't know if it's a problem or not but it's like I have a different personality for everybody. Maybe not everybody but every certain group of people. And I don't know why I am doing this. And I wonder why people don't show who they really are (including me).

I don't see it as a problem. I am a lot of different things, I have a lot of different intesrests, I am flexible, and it's bloody obvious to me that you can't act the same way with your parents and your friends, and then also with different friends among themselves.

It's not like there is something that you can say "this is truly me" - you are all of those things you exibit (unless you're deliberately conforming, but I don't think we're talking about that here). A different person in different situations, as long as you feel good about the things you do and the way you act, as long as you're not acting that way for someone else, I'd say it's fine.

JoY
02-19-2006, 02:52 PM
You should meet some of my friends. It might change your mind. I know complete morons who genuinely think they are intelligent, social retards who think they are the life of the party, and total pussies who think they are badass motherfuckers.
but I also know many people that are fucking awesome & still believe they suck to no end. & I can assure you that's not exactly the way people want to percieve themselves.

I was quite pleased with what people wrote about me in my yearbook. they did seem to know quite a lot about me & just know me in general. of course the image they have of me will never be complete, but it was close enough.

Linda
02-19-2006, 02:59 PM
Yeah, people wrote in my yearbook to always stay as sweet as I was then.
I was so naive I believed them, and actually did it until a few years ago.
:D

wheelchairman
02-19-2006, 02:59 PM
We did this in my class too. Except the idea was to be as mean as possible (for humorous reasons of course.) My friends pretty much nailed it, good for them!

Paint_It_Black
02-19-2006, 03:08 PM
but I also know many people that are fucking awesome & still believe they suck to no end. & I can assure you that's not exactly the way people want to percieve themselves.


So, you agree with me, right?


I don't see it as a problem. I am a lot of different things, I have a lot of different intesrests, I am flexible, and it's bloody obvious to me that you can't act the same way with your parents and your friends, and then also with different friends among themselves.


I liked that way of putting it.

Nineteen Seventy Nine
02-19-2006, 04:37 PM
Whenever people are bored, they turn to me for amusement.

Rag Doll
02-19-2006, 04:40 PM
For the most part, none of my friends really know me. And it's not like I put on a completely different persona around them....it's more that they're too wrapped up in themselves to pay attention. They know some, but they tend to make a lot of assumptions that are pretty far off base. I do keep some stuff from most people...sort of a defense mechanism, since I've been really hurt a lot of times by people close to me. The person that knows me the best I've only known for a year and a half...but he can point stuff out to me about me...that I've never even noticed. Which is pretty goddamn cool. =)

0r4ng3
02-19-2006, 05:25 PM
In all honesty, I think my friends and family know me better than I do.

XYlophonetreeZ
02-19-2006, 09:08 PM
Basically, my friends all think I'm a slightly goofy and awkward guy. They like me, but it's really rare that I become close friends with someone quickly. It took me the entire 4 years of high school before I was able to get close to most of my friends. I'm a little reserved and hard to get to know, and I'm sure everyone thinks that about me. I don't mind it because it's very true. It rings true even on this board. I mean, I've been posting since late 2000- and I may have been an idiot when I started, but I could at least always spel werdz correctly- and I still don't really know most of y'all and I failed the 1337 test miserably. Then again, part of that is because I'm still kinda freaked out by the concept of "Internet friends."

Once people do know me, they start to recognize my occasionally witty and always goofy sense of humor. They see me as a forgiving and easygoing guy that they can talk to. Sometimes people are initially put off by my fondness for pseudocynicism- but later they recognize it for what it is. One thing I need to work on is my tendency to come up with these big summaries of people's intentions, like I've got them all figured out, and have them be totally wrong. Other than that, I'm fuckin' awesome.

Betty
02-19-2006, 10:27 PM
^I enjoyed reading that little synopsis... you'd be one of the people that I'd at least think of adding on MSN had you a little icon guy under your name.

I definitely show entirely different aspects of my personality to different people. But that's cause I have so many different, and possibly conflicting, interests. For example, being into rock 'n' roll and being politically conservative generally does not fly. Nor does being a huge school nerd and still trying to pull of some allusion of coolness. Concert friends, chemistry friends, volleyball friends, internet friends, etc, etc. But I never pretend to be something I'm not

I wouldn't really say I hide myself at all though. If somebody is interested, I will confess my hopes, dreams, fears, secrets, etc, etc. It's just finding somebody who is actually interested that can be the tricky part sometimes.

But in terms of what people who know me well enough think of me, I'm generally pretty happy with it. I think a few of my good friends really appreciate me as a person, and that makes me feel good. And every once in a while I'm even floored by a really good compliment. My two favourites recently involved praising my ability to listen and "really care" and my "brutal honesty"... two things that I sorta like about myself but rarely get any audible recognition.

Endymion
02-19-2006, 10:34 PM
and will do anything.
would you ask your jewish vice principal if he'd ever considered joining the nazi party?

JohnnyNemesis
02-19-2006, 10:47 PM
I'm still kinda freaked out by the concept of "Internet friends."

Well, I was gonna profess my undying love for you, but you can forget it now.

As far as the question goes, I answered this in great detail in another thread. I'll dig it up and copy + paste here because I'm a little lazy.

coke_a_holic
02-19-2006, 10:48 PM
People think I'm weird. In Middle School, they hated me, either ignoring me or just laughing at my strange sense of humor which they didn't get. I always have had a small group of friends, it wasn't until this year that I decided to try and gain friendships with the kids that hated me.

They all find me very strange, but they also are starting to understand my idea of humor and find me funny, too. I still would consider you guys on the BBS as friends, but then again, that doesn't say much because most of the people I think of as friends aren't really that close. Today I was bored and wanted to call people to see what they were doing. I only ended up calling 2 people because the others I just didn't know well enough to call, even though I consider them my friends.

I guess I've gained a lot of self esteem, but I still would say I'm a little to shy to make friends at the exponential rate some of the other kids do. I don't know, my opinion of myself is generally worse than others', but sometimes even I think better of myself than others. It all comes with being 15. *shrugs*

Betty
02-19-2006, 11:01 PM
If you're an awesome person but you're having a hard time finding people that get you when you're 15, it can really only get better.

The saying is somewhat true, I believe, that a lot of the really popular kids go downhill, and the more awkward ones become successful, both socially and in the other aspects of life.

I had somewhat of a socially awkward childhood/adolescence. I always had friends and all and was generally well-liked, but I was far from being Ms. Popularity. It's cute, my mom admits to me now that she always knew I would "flourish as an adult"... and I think it may pan out that way. I look forward to my twenties.

calichix
02-19-2006, 11:56 PM
people think I'm the go-to-lady on absolutely everyone because I'm friends with absolutely everyone. and that I'm tres quirky. personally, I think I could charm the devil. only cause being vicious is so much cooler than being funny.

Nina
02-20-2006, 01:00 AM
I'm not trying to sound like a loner or anything, but *nobody* really knows me. Which can be quite frustrating at times. People might know a few things about me, or THINK that they know me, but they never do, and I always notice that :/
People online kinda know my personality, but nothing about my life. People in real life know nothing about my personality, what I like/dislike etc., and they know little about my life, as long as they're part of it in a way.
I did this personality thing for my friends on the net, who had to pick six words that would describe me. They all had either "shy" or "introverted" picked. People at my former workplace would probably think the same, but people I have to deal with everyday (school, family) would say the exact opposite.
It frightens me a little. I'm not trying to be different in different places at all.
People who I know in real life and who have met me (three people, all from this board, lolz) say I am the same both online and on the net.
*sighs*

We have a yearbook as well, and I REALLY wished I wasnt in it. I DONT want to hear all those nasty things about me.

Rocky-girl
02-20-2006, 05:07 AM
Do you think people see others in a way they want to see? And what about your friends & parents? Are they like my friends or do they really know who you are?
Sometimes people see in us that thae want to Ithink it's parents for example. But I know: my friends know me more than I do. I try to look at people from neutral side. I try not to think about who is that person for me friend or not. And really I try to say to person if I don't like him/her and what I don't like namely. And I think that I know my friends well.

JoY
02-20-2006, 07:06 AM
So, you agree with me, right?

basically, yes.

JoY
02-20-2006, 07:11 AM
I'm still kinda freaked out by the concept of "Internet friends."
*confesses* me too. there are few people in real life, that know I spend time on the internet. actually talking to people. people I don't know in real life. it freaks out people I know & I can understand why. it really is funny business, the internet.

Subsidal
02-20-2006, 08:01 AM
There used to be people who were afraid of me and I still don't know why but the most think I'm weird 'cause I'm "different"

Sunny
02-20-2006, 03:01 PM
there are maybe 3 people in this world who actually know what i'm like.

i am the best at giving really bad first impressions. people end up thinking i'm really bouncy and always happy and shit. so they (especially women) jump to conclusions and label me as an airhead. sucks to be them when they realize i'm actually a lot smarter than they are. =p

i can't really blame them for their assumptions, though. the wall i've built around my true personality makes the Berlin Wall look like a picket fence.

once people get to know me, they usually think i'm a pretty cheerful, pervy, hyper person. which is sort of accurate. then again, i'm also negative, bitchy, depressed and competitive, which rarely shows. i think i come off as too much of a ditz, because people rarely expect me to have a deeper thought in my head. what the fuck, i ask. what the fuck. is it because i say "like" and "totally" so much?

Paint_It_Black
02-20-2006, 07:42 PM
I don't understand why some people are weirded out by the concept of online friends. I can understand it from people who don't use the internet, but it always seems strange to me that people who use the internet a lot, and actually have online friends, are still weirded out about it to some degree. The internet is just a medium of communication. It's as valid as any other. I use it to talk to friends I have never actually met, as well as keep in touch with people I originally met in real life. To me there's no significant difference between the two. Spending time with friends in real life is preferable to spending time chatting on the net, for many reasons that shouldn't need an explanation. But if I happen to know awesome people and can't physically spend time with them, I'm more than happy to just talk to them online. They're still friends.

calichix
02-20-2006, 09:04 PM
I don't understand how it's THAT hard for people to "let others in" or whatever. You can spend a day with me and know me. I just don't understand all this "no one knows me" business. Who are you when you're communicating with people?! Even if you assume an alter-ego you're still you. I don't get it I don't get it I don't get it *chokehold*

Sunny
02-20-2006, 09:19 PM
well, of course people know what you're like, if you choose to interact with them. still, it's up to a person to choose how much they want to expose themselves. you can be outgoing and socialize, but that doesn't mean others will have any idea what's actually going on in your head. so, by that logic, they know you.. but they don't really, because they have no clue what's "behind the scenes", so to speak.

calichix
02-20-2006, 09:26 PM
Well do you lie to them or just choose not to tell them likehella TMI? By "know you" do y'all mean people who can finish your sentences and tell by looking at you what kind of mood you're in? Or do people think you're a polar opposite to what you are? myyyy stars.

Preocupado
02-20-2006, 11:21 PM
I don't know what people feel when they're close to me. I should ask that one of these times.

Nina
02-21-2006, 01:54 AM
Well do you lie to them or just choose not to tell them likehella TMI? By "know you" do y'all mean people who can finish your sentences and tell by looking at you what kind of mood you're in? Or do people think you're a polar opposite to what you are? myyyy stars.

No. There are many many aspects that play a role here.
Firstly, as Sunny said, it depends how much you want to tell them. For instance, would a depressed person tell everyone he sees that he's depressed? A depression is a disease which effects one's life in an extreme way. Therefore, if someone has this disease, but doesnt tell anybody (and it doesnt show, either), nobody will understand how his life is really like, nor will he understand how he really feels. It's not about being able to finishing sentences, it's about understanding the main mental state a person is in, no details included :/
And THIS is just described when we're talking about depression. Figures there are a million other things that a person may not say, and it can all change the view of the others.
And then there is also a completely different thing: A lot of people dont want to know how you are really like. They have no interests in the real you, your personality, what you like/dislike etc. I personally hate it with a PASSION when I meet someone who's just interested in me when I have something he wants or when he just wants "fun" with me (as in, only having fun conversations, only doing fun things, and so on). A friendship is so much more than that, and I have no interest in speaking to people who dont even try to be friends to some degree (not expecting them to be best buddies with me, but I hope you get what I mean).
Basically, the shallowness of others can also lead to not understanding the person they're speaking with.
What's there not to understand? :/

Rocky-girl
02-21-2006, 02:10 AM
I don't understand why some people are weirded out by the concept of online friends.
I don't understand it too. Once they saw me when I was here(I just needed to write an answer) they became so jealous! They just can't understand what I'm doing here, why I like to be here. And I think that they don't like me when I start to tell them something about this. But when I tell them something interesting that they didn't know, they start to ask where from I knew it. And when I tell them that I found that interesting thing here they usially answer in this way: You just have nothing to do, so you spend your time there. And we don't speak about things that aren't interesting for only one person, but they know that I need to be here(because of english as they think) It's not so, I like people here, that's why I spent much time here.

the_GoDdEsS
02-21-2006, 04:36 AM
People usually have a wrong image of me. Because I don't let anyone invade my private sphere and thoughts and don't share them. And quite honestly, I don't even care.

Rocky-girl
02-21-2006, 06:23 AM
From one hand I understand you, but from the other no. Your post make me think.

Sinister
02-21-2006, 06:24 AM
people think I'm fucked up. I probably am, but I couldn't care less.

Evilbaboon
02-21-2006, 06:32 AM
i like to keep people guessing

the_GoDdEsS
02-21-2006, 06:33 AM
Why didn't you mention the towel?

Evilbaboon
02-21-2006, 06:40 AM
i wondered that after i posted, so just for you goddess,

i think people see me as someone with a towel obsesion

Paint_It_Black
02-21-2006, 06:44 AM
I quite like this new guy. He might have potential, though I strongly suspect he's a brit.

Evilbaboon
02-21-2006, 06:53 AM
Me, New? hell no

Brit, yes sorry

but thanks anywho

JoY
02-21-2006, 06:53 AM
I quite like this new guy. He might have potential, though I strongly suspect he's a brit.
he is. he's Andy, if I'm not mistaking, from England. I think he was a friend of Lee's, but I'm not sure anymore. it was quite some time ago, the last time I really saw him around.

Paint_It_Black
02-21-2006, 06:59 AM
Me, New? hell no


My bad. I didn't look at your join date, just your post count and the fact that I don't know you made me assume you were new.

Evilbaboon
02-21-2006, 07:13 AM
he is. he's Andy, if I'm not mistaking, from England. I think he was a friend of Lee's, but I'm not sure anymore. it was quite some time ago, the last time I really saw him around.

yes im still mates with lee, yes im english
i was on the old board some time back, i keep poping in for a while

Hey Joy hows it going

JoY
02-21-2006, 10:17 AM
I'm fine, thank you. =) I'm sick at the moment, but it doesn't bother me, except I don't have time to stay in bed. hope you're doing fine aswell.

Yatesy
02-21-2006, 12:30 PM
I don't know if all my friends know me that well but I know at least 5-6 people know me quite well.

calichix
02-21-2006, 10:26 PM
No. There are many many aspects that play a role here.
Firstly, as Sunny said, it depends how much you want to tell them. For instance, would a depressed person tell everyone he sees that he's depressed? A depression is a disease which effects one's life in an extreme way. Therefore, if someone has this disease, but doesnt tell anybody (and it doesnt show, either), nobody will understand how his life is really like, nor will he understand how he really feels. It's not about being able to finishing sentences, it's about understanding the main mental state a person is in, no details included :/
And THIS is just described when we're talking about depression. Figures there are a million other things that a person may not say, and it can all change the view of the others.
And then there is also a completely different thing: A lot of people dont want to know how you are really like. They have no interests in the real you, your personality, what you like/dislike etc. I personally hate it with a PASSION when I meet someone who's just interested in me when I have something he wants or when he just wants "fun" with me (as in, only having fun conversations, only doing fun things, and so on). A friendship is so much more than that, and I have no interest in speaking to people who dont even try to be friends to some degree (not expecting them to be best buddies with me, but I hope you get what I mean).
Basically, the shallowness of others can also lead to not understanding the person they're speaking with.
What's there not to understand? :/


well, I hadn't read that tangent yet.