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god of mosh
03-09-2006, 06:06 PM
hello im new dont kill me *cowers*

Paint_It_Black
03-09-2006, 06:08 PM
dont kill me

Give us a good reason why we shouldn't.

god of mosh
03-09-2006, 06:09 PM
Give us a good reason why we shouldn't.

i bring offerings of alchohol and bad spelling

T-6005
03-09-2006, 06:13 PM
If you get the alcohol to me, I'll ignore the bad spelling for as long as it lasts.

Paint_It_Black
03-09-2006, 06:14 PM
We already have plenty of those. Start offering punctuation and we might spare you.

god of mosh
03-09-2006, 06:15 PM
If you get the alcohol to me, I'll ignore the bad spelling for as long as it lasts.

*hands over booze* enjoy because its gonna last a long time poor grammer aswell in fact i dont even know where the full stop key is

coke_a_holic
03-09-2006, 06:18 PM
Suddenly, I know you're British.

Welcome, try not to suck and we'll love you. =)

T-6005
03-09-2006, 06:18 PM
Might want to find these things out quickly, or you won't last long. I'll make sure of that.

Internet threat!

ThrashedThrasher
03-09-2006, 06:19 PM
*hands over booze* enjoy because its gonna last a long time poor grammer aswell in fact i dont even know where the full stop key is

*Stabs you in the eye with a metal spork then walks off*

That makes me want to ask a question, what is the significance of a metal spork? Or a spork in general?

Better yet, what is the better utencil to use when eating Mac & Cheese : A spoon, fork, or spork?!

To be logical, a spork is only good for Mac & Cheese but you can shovel more Mac & Cheese on a spoon than you can stab with a fork.

Is the spork superior over the fork and spoon when it comes to Mac & Cheese?

god of mosh
03-09-2006, 06:19 PM
Suddenly, I know you're British.

Welcome, try not to suck and we'll love you. =)

what gave it away

try not to suck what :p

god of mosh
03-09-2006, 06:21 PM
*Stabs you in the eye with a metal spork then walks off*

That makes me want to ask a question, what is the significance of a metal spork? Or a spork in general?

Better yet, what is the better utencil to use when eating Mac & Cheese : A spoon, fork, or spork?!

To be logical, a spork is only good for Mac & Cheese but you can shovel more Mac & Cheese on a spoon than you can stab with a fork.

Is the spork superior over the fork and spoon when it comes to Mac & Cheese?

ah! a philosopher i see.

Paint_It_Black
03-09-2006, 06:21 PM
what gave it away


Everything.

Has anyone even seen an actual metal spork? I've only seen plastic ones.

Andy
03-09-2006, 06:26 PM
I don't think I've ever even used/seen a spork. I've seen a fork with a cerrated edge used for single-handed eating, but I'm not sure of its name. Fife? Knork?

ThrashedThrasher
03-09-2006, 06:47 PM
Everything.

Has anyone even seen an actual metal spork? I've only seen plastic ones.

Dude, that is exactly what I said when I first brought up the subject of sporks to my friend Jason. Of course, he proved me wrong by showing me that there are indeed metal sporks that you can get in a full silverware set. Who the fuck pays for a metal spork though?

T-6005
03-09-2006, 06:47 PM
I think it's a knork. And if it isn't, it should be.

It's probably just "Fork with serrated edge".

T-6005
03-09-2006, 06:48 PM
Who the fuck pays for a metal spork though?
The true Mac and Cheese gourmet.

ThrashedThrasher
03-09-2006, 06:52 PM
The true Mac and Cheese gourmet.

Hehe, possibly.

That brings me to my next little question,
Who has eaten chili mac before...?

coke_a_holic
03-09-2006, 06:53 PM
I have (unfortunately).

ThrashedThrasher
03-09-2006, 06:54 PM
Chili mac is probably one of the most vile foods I have ever had to eat...My friend pretty much lives off of it :eek: And he says I'm disgusting because I eat my Mac & Cheese cold with ketchup on it...

Andy
03-09-2006, 06:55 PM
I've eaten a chilli burger at the pub at my university. Unfortunately, the second time I asked for one the serving wrench gave me just chilli in a bun. Stupid bitch.

Of course, I didn't say anything. I'm far too British.

coke_a_holic
03-09-2006, 06:56 PM
When I had chilimac, it was on a backpacking trip in New Mexico. It started hailing in the middle of my bowl, and it made it taste even worse. I wanted to die.

Paint_It_Black
03-09-2006, 06:57 PM
And he says I'm disgusting because I eat my Mac & Cheese cold with ketchup on it...

That does indeed sound quite unappealing. But then, I don't particularly like ketchup on anything.

ThrashedThrasher
03-09-2006, 07:00 PM
Ketchup is only good on select foods, for me it's a weird combination. I like ketchup in my cottage cheese O.o

Andy
03-09-2006, 07:01 PM
What is mac and cheese? Some kind of burger?

coke_a_holic
03-09-2006, 07:02 PM
It's macaroni noodles with cheese on them.

Andy
03-09-2006, 07:04 PM
Aah I see.

Oh man, that has made me realise how disgusting you all are.

Nineteen Seventy Nine
03-09-2006, 07:07 PM
Ketchup only goes good on fries, burgers, hot dogs, and scrambled eggs. But that is just me.

T-6005
03-09-2006, 07:07 PM
Says the British one. England has produced some of the worst food I've ever tasted. It's like eating cardboard.

Paint_It_Black
03-09-2006, 07:10 PM
Says the British one. England has produced some of the worst food I've ever tasted.

Name some.

Andy, mac and cheese is actually pretty good. If made by a good cook it can be very good.

Nineteen Seventy Nine
03-09-2006, 07:11 PM
I like Easy Mac. And I'm not a good cook.

Andy
03-09-2006, 07:12 PM
Says the British one. England has produced some of the worst food I've ever tasted. It's like eating cardboard.
But we make the best damn cardboard in the Western world, you've got to give us that.

And Richard: I'm still living in England remember. There's no such thing as a good cook.

Paint_It_Black
03-09-2006, 07:20 PM
And Richard: I'm still living in England remember. There's no such thing as a good cook.

You obviously haven't met my mum then. I defy anyone to eat one of her sunday roasts and then say the english can't cook. Imagine this: Roast potatoes, and roast lamb, pork, or beef. Lamb is best. Home-made yorkshire pudding. A huge selection of vegetables, possibly including peas, carrots, sweetcorn, swede, brussel sprouts, cabbage and roast parsnip. Home made gravy. In fact, everything home-made and some of the vegetables home-grown. Follow that up with a good pie, or maybe an apple crumble. Actually fuck that, make it a trifle. Or some real scones with real fresh jam and cream.

I fucking love english food.

And I haven't even mentioned the delight of cheap and greasy fish and chips, served in paper...possibly with a pickled egg. A giant sized portion for the price of a small, shitty McDonalds meal. For ultimate enjoyment, buy it from a chip shop on the coast and eat it while watching the Atlantic waves breaking on the shore.

And fried breakfasts? Oh god. I'll tell you this, the americans have no idea what a good sausage is. Or how to cook bacon. When I get home I'm going to do nothing but destroy my arteries for the first month.

I may live in America, but England is where my heart is. And probably my future heart disease.

Andy
03-09-2006, 07:23 PM
You obviously haven't met my mum then. I defy anyone to eat one of her sunday roasts and then say the english can't cook. Imagine this: Roast potatoes, and roast lamb, pork, or beef. Lamb is best. Home-made yorkshire pudding. A huge selection of vegetables, possibly including peas, carrots, sweetcorn, swede, brussel sprouts, cabbage and roast parsnip. Home made gravy. In fact, everything home-made and some of the vegetables home-grown. Follow that up with a good pie, or maybe an apple crumble. Actually fuck that, make it a trifle. Or some real scones with real fresh jam and cream.

I fucking love english food.

And I haven't even mentioned the delight of cheap and greasy fish and chips, served in paper...possibly with a pickled egg. A giant sized portion for the price of a small, shitty McDonalds meal.

And fried breakfasts? Oh god. I'll tell you this, the americans have no idea what a good sausage is. Or how to cook bacon. When I get home I'm going to do nothing but destroy my arteries for the first month.
I'm still unsure what English food the foreigners have tried to hate it so much. The Sunday Roast is the best thing our good country has even brought to the world. FACT.

PS - I'm not backtracking on my last comment (that was made in jest)

Paint_It_Black
03-09-2006, 07:25 PM
I'm feeling so nostalgic, I actually want a cup of tea right now. And I hate tea.

T-6005
03-09-2006, 07:26 PM
I'm sorry, guys. I'm from the farmlands of Western France, and I've been all over the place - and nowhere will ever beat the food from that part of France. It's unbelievable. It's not even the dishes. All of the ingredients taste absolutely perfect on their own, amazingly fresh (one of the advantages of living on a farm not far from the sea), and... Oh my God, is all I can say.

Now, if you want to claim the best cardboard in the Western world for the English, that's fine. As long as you agree that what we have in France is real food.

Andy
03-09-2006, 07:28 PM
I've recently started drinking tea. Not because I like it, but just out of blind patriotism. It's either I drink tea or burn a couple of Mosques, and frankly, I'm too tired for all that mess.

Hah, I misspelt "mess" as "mass". How ironic that would have been.

T-6005
03-09-2006, 07:31 PM
Hell, I'm going to expand even more. I can have nothing except a baguette and some butter in France, and be perfectly content sitting by myself eating it. It's just beautiful. But if you add some ham, pickles, and a little bit of lettuce and make a sandwich - it's absolutely mind-blowing.

And then, of course, there's dinner. And I can't even go into that because I swear I'll come in my pants.

Paint_It_Black
03-09-2006, 07:31 PM
All of the ingredients taste absolutely perfect on their own, amazingly fresh (one of the advantages of living on a farm not far from the sea), and... Oh my God, is all I can say.

Living on a farm near the sea sounds like perfection. I assume you only left to escape french people. That reminds me, one of these days I'm going to add you on MSN and force you to tell me your life story.

Andy
03-09-2006, 07:32 PM
tell me your life story.
Save it and email me when you're done.

T-6005
03-09-2006, 07:32 PM
Give me a few hours. I'm going to go get drunk. We can talk once I'm happily there.

EDIT - I'd also like to mention that when I said "All over the place", I really meant "several places".

Paint_It_Black
03-09-2006, 07:33 PM
I can have nothing except a baguette and some butter in France, and be perfectly content sitting by myself eating it. It's just beautiful. But if you add some ham, pickles, and a little bit of lettuce and make a sandwich - it's absolutely mind-blowing.

That does indeed sound wonderful. But I have a difficult time believing it can't be as good in England. One day I may have to go to France and find out. I did actually go to France once before, but only on my way through to Germany. I in fact only stopped in France to piss. I was quite proud of that.

T-6005
03-09-2006, 07:35 PM
Hah - well, I hardly recommend the world's premiere tourist destination. The monuments of Paris might be nice, but then there are the people. And Parisians are just... well, they're just Parisian. Which means they're like New Yorkers, only not as nice. And in a smaller city.

Andy
03-09-2006, 07:35 PM
May I interject and say that, in light of Richard's visit to France, I once urinated on the doors of Gucci Paris.

I was so fucking chuffed. And now I leave.

Paint_It_Black
03-09-2006, 07:37 PM
I once urinated on the doors of Gucci Paris.

You no longer need to drink tea to be patriotic. You're set for life my friend.

TheUnholyNightbringer
03-09-2006, 07:48 PM
Speaking of Britain and food, Andy, you must have seen the "HP - Proper British" advert. The one where at the start he picks up a croissant and says "I'm sorry Sharon.. I can't do this anymore!"

The best advert I've seen in years.

Andy
03-09-2006, 07:53 PM
I have actually, that advert is currently my favourite on television. It inspired me to spend a morning in the local greasy spoon, where I sat eating a hearty fry-up, drinking a VERY sugary cup of tea and reading the Sun. It brought a tear to my eye. A British tear. Very salty.

TheUnholyNightbringer
03-09-2006, 07:56 PM
Oh, it's just superb. I'm not very patriotic but I do a lot of very British things - drink tea, eat Sunday roasts, etc etc. First time I saw that advert, I was crying with laughter. It's just so.. perfect.

EDIT: And when i go to a cafe I read The Telegraph, 'cos I'm posh.

Andy
03-09-2006, 07:59 PM
Yeah, that's the true beauty of the Brits: our ability to happily take the piss out of ourselves like in that advert.


EDIT: And when i go to a cafe I read The Telegraph, 'cos I'm posh.
OOOoooOooooooooOOooooOOoooh get you, Mr. Posh Man! I don't like that paper, the words are too long and there aren't enough pictures of naked ladies.

TheUnholyNightbringer
03-09-2006, 08:04 PM
It's in-depth and intellectually stimulating!

Andy
03-09-2006, 08:06 PM
Pah, I'd prefer to read the sun and get something else stimulated..(Oh, what a bad, bad, bad joke).

Oh that note I'm going to bed to dream about bulldogs and Des Lynam.

T-6005
03-09-2006, 08:19 PM
Hah. I think most European countries have the ability to laugh at themselves. They just don't like when outsiders do it. I could show you a version of that old tale about the ant that works all year and the grasshopper that doesn't do anything, and how it would turn out if the story was French. Except for the fact that I would have to translate it.

And in a few hours, if I go on this way, I will be drunk enough to add Richard on MSN.

TheUnholyNightbringer
03-09-2006, 08:21 PM
Eesh dude, you drink like crazy.

TheUnholyNightbringer
03-09-2006, 08:22 PM
And that thing about "we can laugh at ourselves, but others cant" thing works within Britain, too. Brummies can, and do, laugh at their silly accents all the time, but if a cockney does it we say "shut up, you stupid fucking cockney."

It's strange.

T-6005
03-09-2006, 08:22 PM
Do not. I was sober last night. I drank on Wednesday, but the last time before that was last Thursday. I've just been bingeing lately.

All About Eve
03-09-2006, 08:24 PM
I only drink Orange Juice.

Paint_It_Black
03-09-2006, 08:45 PM
And in a few hours, if I go on this way, I will be drunk enough to add Richard on MSN.

I feel mildly insulted.


I only drink Orange Juice.

I had no idea how significant my comment on orange juice would become.

T-6005
03-09-2006, 09:22 PM
I feel mildly insulted.

I only add BBSers if I a) like them and b) am drunk.

Otherwise they add me.

And c) feel like having homo or hetero sex with them.

JohnnyNemesis
03-09-2006, 11:40 PM
The spork talk on the first page disappointed me. SPORKS AINT FUNNY, FOO'.

ninthlayer
03-10-2006, 12:17 AM
Go figure, a fat girl talking about sporks. Never would have seen that one coming. Ever.
Moshing is for faggots.
Emoting is for the gays.
How the fuck is the fact that someone has access to alcohol impressive? My fucking parents offered to buy me alcohol and they fucking hated me. Learn to be twenty-one and a functioning member of society.
Have fun getting fat(ter) off of eating Easy Mac. Learn to eat cereal and get your healthy doses of sodium via ramen noodles like the real omgz punk rawk poverty kids do.
What's with all of this weak ass "Well, you seem like utterly useless and faggotted, BUT WELCOME TO THE BOARDS!" business?


I swear, I spend a little less time on here and you all suddenly become pussies.

Paint_It_Black
03-10-2006, 12:37 AM
I only add BBSers if I a) like them and b) am drunk.

Otherwise they add me.

And c) feel like having homo or hetero sex with them.

Well, you're drunk all the damn time but never add me. I am le sad. I figured I'd definitely qualify for the last one.

T-6005
03-10-2006, 01:29 AM
What do you use for MSN?

I mean, your MSN contact seems to be your Yahoo account. I added it, in case, but I'm doubtful. So just farkn add me already.

ThrashedThrasher
03-10-2006, 06:52 PM
The spork talk on the first page disappointed me. SPORKS AINT FUNNY, FOO'.

Psh, I was extremely bored and wanted to see if anyone actually had a damn thing to say about sporks, mac and cheese, and chilli mac.

ninthlayer
03-10-2006, 07:28 PM
You're still fat.

ThrashedThrasher
03-10-2006, 07:43 PM
Yeah, and?

T-6005
03-10-2006, 11:25 PM
I think god of mosh should come hang out more often. I like his attitude.

JoY
03-11-2006, 07:49 AM
I just wanted to contribute by saying English food makes my stomach turn.

I've never seen an entire country making up so much calory-wise for everything they ever ate, that wasn't a) fries, b) a burger, c) a potato snack, d) fully covered by mayonaise. e-ve-ry-thing you fucking serve is so fucking heavy with grease & fat dripping from it, my stomach can't handle it one bit.