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View Full Version : Mommy left the house!



killer_queen
03-12-2006, 08:12 AM
She was repeating that she was going to leave since last year. A couple of weeks ago we had one of those big fights and I told her to leave the house. On friday she left the house without saying anything and now she says she'll never ever come back. Should I feel guilty?

the_GoDdEsS
03-12-2006, 08:15 AM
Did she pack shit?

Guilty? It depends on what kinda relationship you had.

killer_queen
03-12-2006, 08:20 AM
No. She went outside for paying the bills. After three hours she phoned my father and told him she left. I guess she'll come for her stuff.

My relationship with her was okay until we had fighted two months ago. After then we had never spoken to each other till we had another fight.

Jakebert
03-12-2006, 08:41 AM
Then I'm thinking you should feel somewhat guilty. What was the fight about, though?

Cejus
03-12-2006, 08:49 AM
Yeah, it all depends of the relationship you all had between each other. Maybe she left because of your parent, not just because of you... Anyway, you shouldn't feel guilty about another person's own decission. Maybe it's better for her to leave the house.

JohnnyNemesis
03-12-2006, 08:55 AM
Should I feel guilty?

Probably, but none of us are in the position to judge accurately.

killer_queen
03-12-2006, 09:10 AM
Yeah, it all depends of the relationship you all had between each other. Maybe she left because of your parent, not just because of you... Anyway, you shouldn't feel guilty about another person's own decission. Maybe it's better for her to leave the house.
Of course, she was sick of everyone in ths house (except my brother) but I was the one who told her to go. And that's why my brother accuses me.
I can't clearly remember what was the fight about but generally all of our fights about her discrimination(?) about me and my brother. And mostly because of the menopause.

Sin Studly
03-12-2006, 09:15 AM
Hahahaha, not often a kid kicks their parent out.

Rocky-girl
03-12-2006, 09:40 AM
Strange position. I would be less surprised if your mom said you to go out. I think you can feel guilty if you think that you weren't right. And try to understand your mom's position, to look at the situation with her eyes may be you'll understand reason of you such great fightings.

Mota Boy
03-12-2006, 01:13 PM
As Johnny says, there's no way that we can accurately judge so complex a situation, especially when it's only related to us in a few lines of text.

But the fact that you got along well until a single fight and that now she's leaving the house does not speak well for her as either a mother or, in a larger sense, a human being.

Linda
03-12-2006, 01:19 PM
It sounds to me like you were very inconsiderate of your mother's feelings, in which case, you should feel very ashamed of yourself. Menopause is a very hard thing for a woman to go thru, which you will eventually find out for yourself.

Betty
03-12-2006, 01:23 PM
I agree that kids can be totally inconsiderate to their parents without understanding what they're going through be it work-related stress or menopause or whatever, but shouldn't parents be able to deal with unruly teenagers without threatening to leave the house? That seems somewhat immature. Like, WHO is in charge of the household here?

Linda
03-12-2006, 01:42 PM
Yes, Betty, you do have a point and I agree to a certain extent, however, we really don't know the whole story. Maybe there are alot of other factors involved?

Betty
03-12-2006, 02:03 PM
Oh, definitely. I have no idea.

Human
03-12-2006, 02:07 PM
oh, I'm so sorry for you! I don't know if you should feel guilty or not...I would have to hear the circumstances she left on in full detail...but again, I'm so sorry for you. If my mom left...I would go bolistic, even if we did have a bade relationship.

JohnnyNemesis
03-12-2006, 02:27 PM
Yes, Betty, you do have a point and I agree to a certain extent, however, we really don't know the whole story. Maybe there are alot of other factors involved?

Exactly.

Plus, while I agree that parents should be able to deal with worse situations, it really is unfair that they are asked for so much at all times.

But, yet again, we can't judge this one.

Paint_It_Black
03-12-2006, 02:49 PM
Gulsah, do you actually care that she left? Do you miss her? Want her back? I find it odd that I can't actually tell from anything you already said.

If you don't care that she left, then don't worry about it. Ultimately, she made the decision to leave. It's not like you forced her out.

If you do care, and want her to come back, then apologise. Make assurances of how much better everything will be if she returns.

the_GoDdEsS
03-12-2006, 02:52 PM
Make assurances of how much better everything will be if she returns.

I don't think that works. I'd just understand it as some promises full of air. I wouldn't say assurances. It needs to be talked over. Both points of view. You need to know why you can't communicate and evaluate your attitudes and then try to find compromise. I know it all and yet I myself can't do it.

H1T_That
03-12-2006, 02:57 PM
Hahahaha, not often a kid kicks their parent out.


kicks thier parents out no, but i know quite a few people who hit thier parents.

P.S, i cannot for the life of me work out whether your avatar is funny or horrible.

Paint_It_Black
03-12-2006, 03:03 PM
I don't think that works.

It depends on the person. I know one mother who will always forgive her violent, drug addicted, delinquent son for anything as long as he makes obviously bullshit assurances of doing better in the future. Because she desperately wants to believe it and will never realize that her son is scum.

Camilamazed
03-12-2006, 07:57 PM
Well. My Dad went through a situation like that. He kicked his dad's ass out of the house but because he was a drunk and used to spend the rent with cards. Some day my dad, tired of seeing his mom mad, had to decide. He says me that it was really tough although it had to be done.

We indeed need to know what happedn to Gulsah to judge such thing accuratelty.

MichaelCorleone
03-12-2006, 09:04 PM
Well. My Dad went through a situation like that. He kicked his dad's ass out of the house but because he was a drunk and used to spend the rent with cards. Some day my dad, tired of seeing his mom mad, had to decide. He says me that it was really tough although it had to be done.

We indeed need to know what happedn to Gulsah to judge such thing accuratelty.

* Hispanic

killer_queen
03-13-2006, 07:05 AM
Okay, I'll try to tell the whole situation.

Mom and dad never got along together. My dad is pretty aggressive and it must be hard to live with him. Mom has been saying that she was gonna move out after I go to university. Mom and I have never had a good relationship in fact. We used to stop talking to each other for a few months after every arguement. But we were cool this year. And we had a stupid fight about my clothes and she has gone crazy. After that fight I didn't even want to call her "mom". She was like a stranger to me. She still is.

Of course I'm not the only reason about her leaving. My dad's sister lives with us and she was so annoyed of her existence in these months. Also the main reason was the fight she had with with my dad. But the problem is I told her to leave. Nobody else did. I still don't think I'm guilty at all. I'm 16 and she's never taken anything I said seriously. Did she wait until I told her to leave? It's childish and stupid.

killer_queen
03-13-2006, 07:15 AM
Gulsah, do you actually care that she left? Do you miss her? Want her back? I find it odd that I can't actually tell from anything you already said.

If you don't care that she left, then don't worry about it. Ultimately, she made the decision to leave. It's not like you forced her out.

If you do care, and want her to come back, then apologise. Make assurances of how much better everything will be if she returns.
I don't really want her back. In fact her existence doesn't annoy me at all. The days were like I get up, my brother gets up, my mom and aunt get up. And then mom prepares the breakfast for my brother and my aunt prepares the breakfast for me. We had two months like this. I just hate the chaos she left and I'm sure she's pretty about it. Nobody believes that but my mom gets happy when I'm sad.

Apologising? I've never really apologised her. Just did it for a couple of times to make her buy what I want. I wouldn't do that even if I cared.

Nina
03-13-2006, 08:11 AM
Well, I really dont know the situation at all, even after you have explained it. I take it that it wasnt actually YOU who made her leave, you just gave her the opportunity to decide in that very situation..? It rather sounds like it was her whole situation in this home that made her leave. IF that is the case (and still I am clueless), then I would not see it as easy as you do right now. I dunno, maybe that's just me, but your mom seems to have a lot of problems, it seems like she was in a bad situation (at least from her own point of view) and simply couldnt take it anymore. I'd feel guilty if I was in your position, because
a) I wasnt good enough a reason for my mom to stay
b) my brother wasnt good enough a reason for my mom to stay
c) she seems to have THAT many problems that she just couldnt take it anymore, thus, feels really bad, which would upset and worry me.