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View Full Version : advice please girls.....



darko
03-18-2006, 03:07 PM
End of the Summer last year, my Fiance and I split up. We decided to try and be friends and for a while it was working, until Christmas, when something kicked off with his ex and kids, He also told me before everything kicked off that he wanted me back. He has hardly e-mail or called since then. Than about a week ago, he send an e-mail, then Thursday another e-mail and a phone call {friendly very chattie, you know}

Just recieved another e-mail.....asking me if I want to go on holiday with him, all expences paid.

Now I do miss him, but as you can probably guess, a little causious. If that was you would you take the offer up?

the_GoDdEsS
03-18-2006, 03:10 PM
Girls give shitty advice. I'd ask this a male friend if I were you. They know their own brains better than females with their stupid assumptions.

JoY
03-18-2006, 03:12 PM
how can we decide in your place? this is such a personal decision & a position I'm completely unfamiliar with.

I'll give it my best shot anyway. don't take my advice if you don't like it.
if I were you, I'd invite him for dinner first (your own territory), serve some food, wine, whatever & have a long nice chat with the guy to see what this is all about & how you both feel about each other & going on a vacation with each other. you at least used to be comfortable together, or else you wouldn't have even thought of marriage, so it shouldn't be too much of a problem. find out if you'd both still be as comfortable on a vacation & if anything could possibly be restored. just talk with the guy. I don't know what else to say.

darko
03-18-2006, 03:12 PM
Thanks Joy....oh I forgot to mention...he's in Glasgow and I'm in Lewis.

Linda
03-18-2006, 03:14 PM
I agree with Maria. What can it hurt to see him? It will give you a chance to find out what's been going on, and if he won't tell you, and you don't like if he won't tell you, then you can sever ties without any kind of feelings of regret. In the end you have to make up your own mind, no matter what anyone tells you.

darko
03-18-2006, 03:16 PM
I agree with Maria. What can it hurt to see him? It will give you a chance to find out what's been going on, and if he won't tell you, and you don't like if he won't tell you, then you can sever ties without any kind of feelings of regret. In the end you have to make up your own mind, no matter what anyone tells you.

I won't mind seeing him again....I know at the end of the day it my decision, but ARGH!!

Linda
03-18-2006, 03:19 PM
I know, it's so hard. You owe it to yourself, tho, to find out why it suddenly became an absentee. Just be on your guard. Don't let him decide for you.

darko
03-18-2006, 03:22 PM
Thanks Linda. I know he won't decide for me, he's not like that

Linda
03-18-2006, 03:23 PM
You're welcome. Hope I helped at least a little bit.
Best of luck with that!

Linda
03-18-2006, 03:28 PM
Maria, she only posted that 'cos she has no experience in these matters to help darko. :/

ninthlayer
03-18-2006, 03:31 PM
Whinge whinge whinge ovaries whinge.

darko
03-18-2006, 03:31 PM
Right now I'm pretty much welcoming any advice.

Linda
03-18-2006, 03:35 PM
The more I think about it, talking first would be better. Better than being in a strange place all alone with him. And when I said don't let him decide, all I meant was, don't let him talk you into anything. Listen to what he has to say, then make up your own mind. Guys can be very persuasive sometimes, especially is your feelings are strong for them.

darko
03-18-2006, 03:37 PM
Yeah, the talking first seems like a good idea....Just need him to come over to Lewis.

Linda
03-18-2006, 03:37 PM
Whinge whinge whinge ovaries whinge.

Are you British?

Linda
03-18-2006, 03:39 PM
Yeah, the talking first seems like a good idea....Just need him to come over to Lewis.

Well, I'd say, if he won't go to Lewis to talk to you, that will give you your answer pretty much right away.

Linda
03-18-2006, 03:39 PM
what has happened to ninthlayer? he used to rip on me a lot. I'm... disappointed.. he's so quite, keeps to himself... no longer posts up that French flag with me as figurehead... *sheds tear*

Maybe he grew up........a little?

T-6005
03-18-2006, 03:48 PM
I'd be careful with the all expenses paid trip - coming out of the blue like that, pretty much anything could be running through his head.

I don't know the dynamic between you two, so I'll keep it to recommending that you be cautious. Pretty much, make it almost like you're leading him on for a little bit, just to see what he wants.

Just my two cents - feel free to ignore it. However, I'll stress again the importance of being cautious.

darko
03-18-2006, 03:51 PM
Thanks T-6005. I am been cautious. Was at christmas when he told me he wanted me back.

kamikaze
03-18-2006, 04:00 PM
FREE VACATION!?
You'd better believe I'd go.

ninthlayer
03-18-2006, 04:13 PM
1. British? No.
2. I'm not around here all that much because I don't bother with normal internet much these days (except tonight, 12 hour shift at a software company).
3. Grew up? Did that a few years ago.
4. As for the main topic, it's kinda pointless to ask other people for the solution to your personal problem, especially considering the fact that we know fuckall about it or the details of it. Fuck someone new and get over your ex, but check your damn baggage at the door.

Linda
03-18-2006, 04:16 PM
2. I'm not around here all that much because I don't bother with normal internet much these days (except tonight, 12 hour shift at a software company).


I pity you. Those 12 hour shifts are killer.

ninthlayer
03-18-2006, 04:25 PM
30 hours over 3 days is better than spreading it over 5 or so.

Last night -> Red Star Yeast (Watched the Cutter and Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Wrote a short essay.) 8 hour shift (2200-0600)

Tonight -> Second Story Software (watch Matthew Good music videos, Mad Max movies, and probably look for a new job) 12 hour shift (1900-0700)

Tomorrow night -> Red Star Yeast (watch more movies/listen to more music) 10 hour shift (2200-0800)

So it goes.

Linda
03-18-2006, 05:04 PM
Eh, you're young, guess you can still handle it. I could never do it tho, I like to sleep!

TheUnholyNightbringer
03-19-2006, 07:41 PM
Are you British?

Fuck you.

Linda
03-19-2006, 07:48 PM
Fuck you.

WTF is your problem?! I only asked him 'cos of the way he spelled "whine".
So sorry you didn't understand that.

TheUnholyNightbringer
03-19-2006, 08:07 PM
What? How else can you spell it?

0r4ng3
03-19-2006, 08:13 PM
Wait, "whinge" was an offshoot of "whine"? I thought they were two different words.

TheUnholyNightbringer
03-19-2006, 08:20 PM
Wait, "whinge" was an offshoot of "whine"? I thought they were two different words.

Is that what she meant? Of course they're two different words.

Linda
03-19-2006, 08:23 PM
They mean the same thing, different spellings.

whine ( P ) Pronunciation Key (hwn, wn)
v. whined, whin·ing, whines
v. intr.
To utter a plaintive, high-pitched, protracted sound, as in pain, fear, supplication, or complaint.
To complain or protest in a childish fashion.
To produce a sustained noise of relatively high pitch: jet engines whining.

whinge ( P ) Pronunciation Key (hwnj, wnj)
intr.v. Chiefly British whinged, whing·ing, whing·es
To complain or protest, especially in an annoying or persistent manner.

See, whinge, CHIEFLY BRITISH. That's the only reason I asked him that.

Now....take that "fuck you" back!

TheUnholyNightbringer
03-19-2006, 08:26 PM
I never take anything I say back because at the time I said it for a reason.

Linda
03-19-2006, 08:27 PM
And what would that reason be? As far as I can see, you had NO reason.