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View Full Version : I finally decided to sell myself as a pet



Duskygrin
03-27-2006, 10:05 AM
. .

bd007h
03-27-2006, 10:25 AM
For ages 12 and under

notoriousdoc
03-27-2006, 10:30 AM
For ages 12 and under
Dang .

killer_queen
03-27-2006, 10:34 AM
I'd prefer something fluffy or something quiet like a snake.

el_monkey
03-27-2006, 10:34 AM
my future kids will not want sth. that is best before anytime that is before their death

el_monkey
03-27-2006, 11:01 AM
do you need your own toilet, or will you do your buisness outside?

notoriousdoc
03-27-2006, 11:05 AM
Cat litter's all your gonna get from me

el_monkey
03-27-2006, 11:07 AM
I'm sorry but mine owns a very special smell of orange&shisha smoke

notoriousdoc
03-27-2006, 12:00 PM
Let's not go there. All the customers are 13 or under. Or is that the point? :confused:

offspringrammsteinfan
03-27-2006, 12:10 PM
Here's my marketing speech:

'Of amiable disposition *coughs* & very companiable *drops eyes*, you'll soon fall in love with your Dusky & its lovely smile. It never sulks, never leaves you in the lurch, always ready to pat your back when you feel down in the dumps. Overall omnivorous, its aversion to cheese & anchovies is to be noted -an aversion which you'll grow to share when it has explained at length the disadvantages & uncouthness of such an eating habit. If you want to relax & don't feel like taking it out, it'll play the piano for you, its only reward being your genuine enthusiasm. It's also fond of garters, but will leave that to your appreciation... As with parrots, its incredibly high price/quality ratio will leave you wondering why on earth your parents never offered you one when you were a kid. We don't have a reason for that, your parents must have been ignorant of its existence, quite simply.
Psychological, moral & physical torture is absolutely prohibited. If for some reason you should decide to quit feeding your Dusky, or to sequestre it, or to relieve your disgusting libido on it, you shall be tracked down like the mongrel you are & killed forthwith.
Should you be under the impression that your Dusky is falling in love with you, you may return it to us for cause of malfunctioning. Should be under the impression that your Dusky has grown to hate you, & only stays with you out of pity, knowing you'd feel lost without it by your side on a lonely evening, you are required to return it to us on the spot.

We trust you shall find happiness in your Dusky & beg to remain,
yours faithfully, etc

I would so love to have my very own dusky, but then again the chance that he will kill me because I forgot to give the poor animal food is high.

I'd better not buy one :(

arak0r
03-27-2006, 01:47 PM
i am against abusing animals, but i think i could make an exception in this case. so whats the difference between selling yourself for sex, and selling yourself as a pet?

All About Eve
03-27-2006, 01:54 PM
Is this your way of saying that you admit that you're a lower life form?

All About Eve
03-27-2006, 02:08 PM
A superior being of one doesn't mean you're not a lower life form to others.

Andy
03-27-2006, 02:08 PM
One look in the mirr & I'm convinced I'm a superior being.

That sounds about right from a Frenchie.