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wheelchairman
04-01-2006, 07:34 AM
So I got 4 places, who wants a ride to Oregon!?

Act quickly, I am an impatient man. I'll play several times so everyone will have a chance!

And of course I'll update here for y'all.

Dave is in large my inspiration, that and I hate thinking up names.

wheelchairman
04-01-2006, 07:39 AM
Snooze ya lose motherfuckers. I'm gonna put Tizz, Vlad, Iz and Mota Boy in. Yay 1337.

wheelchairman
04-01-2006, 07:43 AM
We left as early as possible because Missouri sucks. So we left March 1st with an overloaded wagon.

After a day, Vlad broke his arm. Fucking retard.

Then a blizzard came on March 16th, and gave Mota Boy the measles. One would almost think it was an STD from nature.

Luckily we're bankers so we can afford everything. Yay jews.

Anyways dinner time, I'll continue this story later.

wheelchairman
04-01-2006, 08:41 AM
and the finish to the story.

Tizz got typhoid. Man what a typhoid mary.

Then Mota Boy just got sick and died on March 24th. The poor bastard. To make matters worse, in a delirious rage he set fire to the wagon destroying:

5 sets of clothing
619 bullets
578 pounds of food
Thank God he's dead.

On the 31st Tizz recovers from Typhoid.

Ironically the next day Iz gets typhoid. Stupid stupid Serb. Vlad has recovered from his broken arm.

Iz is fully recovered by April 12th. The suspicion is she faked it for attention.

Nothing happens for a long time, and then on June 5th, just pass the Rocky mountains, Tizz gets bitten by a snake. What an artard. Now we just wait for Iz to fake a snake bite 13 days later. Wow Iz is such a Vicky.

LOLOLOL Vlad has dysentery. Time to stop teh piemel in de kont. My hui in your ass Vlad!

Luckily over a week later Vlad's anus feels much better and I am relieved that I can later relieve myself.

Tizz recovers from her snake bite a day later.

On June 19th Tizz suffers from exhaustion. But since he's such a lille hypokonder (little hypochondriac) we ignore her and decide not to rest.


We reach the Green River and attempt to take a ferry across on June 26. We pay 5$ and in the middle of this huge motherfucker, it tips and we lose 11 oxen, 516 bullets and one wagon axle. Incompetent ferry fucks.

On June 28th, the attention queen Iz, gets the measles. Since this is a real disease, we decide to rest.

Tizz recovers from exhaustion on June 30th.

However with her unbelievably good luck, she gets typhoid AGAIN on July 2nd. Just couldn't handle everyone fawning over Iz I guess.

On July 6th Iz is all better.

and on the 12th, so is Tizz.

On the 24th of July Vlad broke his leg. It was definitely not during a particularly rough bout of anal rapine.

Amazingly on July 30th Vlad gets bitten by a snake. Incompetence...

And on August 15th Vlad dies of a cholera disease that we had no idea he had. :(

This leaves me alone with the women however. Coincidence?

On August 22nd, Tizz gets a fever. So annoying.

August 30th Tizz is better. I suspect her of faking it. She may need to be "put down."

On October 16th Iz gets cholera. Unbelievable. 10 days later Iz recovers.

Iz, Tizz, and I arrive in Oregon on November 2nd. Yay.

Tizzalicious
04-01-2006, 08:44 AM
What the fuck are you talking about?

And why do I keep getting sick?

wheelchairman
04-01-2006, 08:46 AM
Starting again, this time with Sim, Vera and Bella. The last person will be the original name. A guy named Jonas.
Am I forgetting anyone? I think that's all the Amsterdammers!

And we'll leave in April!

And this time my profession is a Doctor.

Paint_It_Black
04-01-2006, 08:46 AM
Dammit Tizz, don't reply. I wanted to see how long he'd keep updating this without anyone posting anything.

Tizzalicious
04-01-2006, 08:48 AM
Dammit Tizz, don't reply. I wanted to see how long he'd keep updating this without anyone posting anything.

Sorry :(

And you're forgetting Mota, dumbfuck.

wheelchairman
04-01-2006, 08:53 AM
Richard, I totally would've kept going on. Although I was realizing it was pretty pathetic. You've just unconsentually volunteered for the next wagon!

And Tizz, this is a computer game from the early 90's, with terrible graphics that simulated the pioneers travel and settlement of Oregon. It's awesome. Also I included Mota Boy, he died pretty quickly that's all.

After a month Sim got the measles. :(
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v220/wheelchairman/measleysim.png

Izie
04-01-2006, 08:57 AM
You made me smile and didn't even kill me.

<3333333333333333333

Tizzalicious
04-01-2006, 09:00 AM
Poor Simma <3

And it sounds kinda weird.

the_GoDdEsS
04-01-2006, 09:04 AM
You're one sick commie. I kept thinking what the fuck while reading the first part.

Izie
04-01-2006, 09:04 AM
Can I get the game somehow?

Tizzalicious
04-01-2006, 09:05 AM
You're one sick commie. I kept thinking what the fuck while reading the first part.

Haha, me too.

wheelchairman
04-01-2006, 09:30 AM
Thankfully Sim recovers by May 5th.

On June 9th Sanni develops cholera. This has been a pretty succesful trip so far!


However in a choleric disaster on June 17th, Sanni sets fire to the wagon and destroys a wagon axle and tongue. Bad Sanni! She does recover on the 20th though.

On June 25th, Sim breaks her arm. Clumsy cunt.


On July 18th Bella gets the measles. Achterlijk Ventje!
She gets better by the 24th though! And Sim's arm is better by the 27th.

On August 1st Sanni gets exhaustion. Our suspicion is that she wants everyone to stop so she can watch some Bollywood. We'll show her!

On August 3rd the crazy bollywood-fan Sanni sets fire on the wagon due to frustration, burning 430 pounds of food and 16 sets of clothing. Naked and hungry, we will have to assassinate her.

August 6th, Bella being blonde is bitten by snake.

Amazingly on August 10th she is bitten again. SNAKES ON A WAGON? :confused:

Sanni is over her exhaustion on the 11th. Suspicious?

Bella is over her snake bites by the 21st. Hurrah!


Wow, Sanni gets cholera again. Sept. 2. She recovers 10 days later.


A thief steals 20 sets of clothing on the 18th. I believe we have a mole....

Unbelievably enough, on the 20th, Sim gets the measles. I just Slavs suck at anything that doesn't involve growing potatoes and prostutition.

It appears as though Sim and Bella have been making out, since Bella now has the measles too. September 23rd. Or someone is giving it to them.

Jonas has cholera. But no one really cares. September 27.

Sim is well by the 30th.

Bella by Oct. 4th.

and Jonas by the 8th. But no one cares.

Amazingly he contracts the measles by the 8th. But no one cares.

Sanni has dysentery. ewww. Oct. 10th.

Jonas recovers on the 17th. and Sanni on the 19th.

FUCK! Jonas gots the measles...again. Definitely not aryan. He is expendable.
He recovers by the 29th.

We arrive on November 2d with (and we left Missouri with, # in parenthesis)
15 oxen. (16)
6 spare wagon parts. (9)
3 sets of clothing. (41)
677 bullets. (820)
and 855 lbs. of food. (1490)

wheelchairman
04-01-2006, 09:41 AM
You can probably download it. It's made by a company called MECC. and "The Learning Company."

It's an old game. Get Oregon trail 1 though. The rest in the series suck!

And it's fun as hell.

And you should be happy Sim, you survived!

I think you can download it here.
http://www.classicgaming.com/rotw/otrail.shtml Scroll down. Although this looks like an older version of what I have. (it's the same game, yours would just be uglier. :p)

There is a free trial download here:
http://www.broderbund.com/jump.jsp?itemID=147&mainPID=147&itemType=PRODUCT&RS=1&keyword=oregon+trail

You can probably get a crack then? Except this looks like the 5th edition, which is stupid!

Lars
04-01-2006, 09:46 AM
I used to play that at school on some old Mac LCII machines. Can you not hunt in it as well?

wheelchairman
04-01-2006, 09:48 AM
Yes you can, it would just be boring to talk about. :P But hunting was literally the fun part as a kid.

Little_Miss_1565
04-01-2006, 09:49 AM
Fucking A awesome. Per, I might have to copy you if I can get it to work on my compy.

wheelchairman
04-01-2006, 09:51 AM
W0rd, you are in my next wagon too then.

Offspring Sarah. (lol memories)

Vera
04-01-2006, 09:53 AM
I like to set things on fire, apparently.

Endymion
04-01-2006, 09:54 AM
if you have internet explorer you can play online here: http://www.virtualapple.org/ . if you don't or don't want to use ie, you can download the rom there and find your own emulator.

wheelchairman
04-01-2006, 09:54 AM
That was just me making you the bad guy of the story. In the game the fires were anonymous.

wheelchairman
04-01-2006, 09:58 AM
if you have internet explorer you can play online here: http://www.virtualapple.org/ . if you don't or don't want to use ie, you can download the rom there and find your own emulator.
Fucking a! to quote Miss 1565.

Little_Miss_1565
04-01-2006, 10:00 AM
if you have internet explorer you can play online here: http://www.virtualapple.org/ . if you don't or don't want to use ie, you can download the rom there and find your own emulator.

it no worky for the OSX. :''(

By the way, Ryan...what the fuck was that phone call last night?

Endymion
04-01-2006, 10:10 AM
By the way, Ryan...what the fuck was that phone call last night?
i was waiting for someone outside the movie theater and got bored. i called skratch too and another friend was mean to him :(

calichix
04-01-2006, 10:18 AM
good lord, I love this thread. <3

wheelchairman
04-01-2006, 10:20 AM
calichix is the 3rd person for the next trip!

T-6005
04-01-2006, 10:40 AM
I love this thread.

wheelchairman
04-01-2006, 10:43 AM
You only said that to get on the wagon without having to ask!

Sinister
04-01-2006, 11:07 AM
it seems like I made it on the top ten.

wheelchairman
04-01-2006, 11:13 AM
What are you talking about?

T-6005
04-01-2006, 11:16 AM
You only said that to get on the wagon without having to ask!
You know you want to put me on it.

Sinister
04-01-2006, 12:24 PM
What are you talking about?
I played that thing online, and there's a "Top Ten" ranking chart there, and it seems like I earned a place on it.

Mota Boy
04-01-2006, 12:40 PM
Then Mota just got sick and died on March 24th. The poor bastard. To make matters worse, in a delirious rage he set fire to the wagon destroying:

5 sets of clothing
619 bullets
578 pounds of food
Thank God he's dead.
If I'm going, I'm taking you all with me.

wheelchairman
04-01-2006, 12:57 PM
This time the trip to Oregon was done as merchants. We are a travelling folk well used to the wiley ways of the trail.

With me are Offspring Sarah (1565), Le Sad, Richard (PIB), and Calichix.

On April 7th, 1565 got the measles. Not even a week into the trip she found a way to slow things down. She recovers by the 18th only slowing us down for OVER A WEEK!

On May 20th, Le Sad broke a leg. The lazy fag doesn't know how to travel apparently. (May be due to time spent in Japan.)

June 20th Le Sad is all better. However progress has been slow, and hunting has been scarce. I am not sure if he is trying to sabotage the wagon train, but I would not doubt it. We are now digging into our non-perishable food supplies.

On July 1st Richard gets dysentery. The entire encampment must wait for him to feel better while he stinks the entire place.

On Independence day, Calichix also gets dysentery. One would believe that she and Richard have been into heavy anal penetration. ew.

July 6th, Calichix dies of dysentery. Officially grossest death ever besides Mr. Hands.

July 10th Richard feels better, the assumption is that it was Calichix bringing him down.

July 27th, a theif steals 70 bullets. I suspect Le Sad. He reminds me of that one guy from Cube.

August 14th, Richard breaks his leg. Appears to be accidental, but the paranoia is gripping my brain...

August 24th, Sarah gets dysentery. Richards doing?
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v220/wheelchairman/1337food.png
August 30th, Richard dies of typhoid. but how?

September 3rd, Sarah is better. Is it a coincidence that her dysentery disappears after Richard dies? I doubt it.

September 5th, Le Sad has developed a fever. My suspicion is he's faking it, we travel on.

September 10th, Sarah gets lost for 3 days. Doesn't she know we must get to Oregon in 2 months or be molested by Father Frost?

September 14th, Le Sad is all better. Definitely a faker.

September 25th, We paid a shoshoni Indian one piece of clothing to help us cross the snake river. I gave him another if he would tip the boat so as to get Le Sad thrown off. He is very much dead, we have gotten rid of our saboteur!

November 6, we make it to Oregon
Here is a comparison between what we have now, and what we left with.
Two surviving members out of a party of 5.
14 Oxen (16)
7 spare wagon parts (9)
44 sets of clothing (41)
765 bullets (900)
1432 lbs of food (1450)

wheelchairman
04-01-2006, 01:04 PM
You're a dick Mota Boy, a real dick!

Little_Miss_1565
04-01-2006, 01:14 PM
LOL, I get sick immediately! It's just like real life! And the getting lost--I'm a total retard! Wow, how does it know me so well?

wheelchairman
04-01-2006, 01:15 PM
Starting a new one as a blacksmith.

With Tizz and Endy.

And Mota Boy and Calichix since they died so early on last time.

wheelchairman
04-01-2006, 01:45 PM
May 25th, Calichix gets lost for 5 days. (how blonde...)

But that is literally the first thing to happen. I mean we're already halfway through.

May 26th, Endy gets cholera. From 4chan?

May 30th, Endy dies from Cholera.

Wow I sure as hell jinxed this. :(

May 31st, Mota Boy gets typhoid. Which God did I anger!?

June 10th, Mota Boy gets better.

June 25th, Calichix broke her arm. Very blonde..

July 3rd, Calichix plays with a snake and gets bitten. Literally. *sigh*

July 3rd, Mota Boy is "exhausted." Whatever you say fag.

July 9th, Tizz gets typhoid. Typhoid Maartje so to speak.

July 11th, Mota Boy dies of the measles. So much trouble in such short time. Dear lord.

July 15th, Calichix dies of cholera. We're dropping like flies here!

July 18th, Tizz is well again. It's just tizz and I left. And when she dies, piemel in de kont!

July 18th, Tizz has the measles. This does not bode well...

July 28th, Tizz recovers. We'll get to Oregon yet.

August 14th, Tizz breaks her arm. Silly cunt.

August 17th, Tizz breaks her other arm. How ridiculous looking! Now there is nothing to stop the buttsex. She cried all night.

August 23rd, Tizz never recovered from the buttrape. She died of dysentery. I cut her into little pieces and created a neat body-suit. I am so lonely. :(

September 16th, I arrive in Oregon.

1 Surviving member (out of 5)
15 oxen
3 spare wagon parts
17 sets of clothing (20)
321 bullets (400)
1334 lbs. of food (1150)

Endymion
04-01-2006, 01:54 PM
that bites.

Little_Miss_1565
04-01-2006, 01:56 PM
Creeping me out on the phone is definately the cause of cholera. :P

wheelchairman
04-01-2006, 05:18 PM
I played that thing online, and there's a "Top Ten" ranking chart there, and it seems like I earned a place on it.
You got a link?

Paint_It_Black
04-02-2006, 12:37 AM
You only said that to get on the wagon without having to ask!

I'm pretty sure Thibault will fall off the wagon shortly.

I died :(

Tizzalicious
04-02-2006, 07:02 AM
August 23rd, Tizz never recovered from the buttrape. She died of dysentery. I cut her into little pieces and created a neat body-suit. I am so lonely. :(



Right, like that would fit, fatboy.

Sinister
04-02-2006, 08:19 AM
You got a link?
Endy posted it : http://www.virtualapple.org/

Little_Miss_1565
04-02-2006, 09:33 AM
Hey wait, Per, why am I Offspring Sarah instead of just Sarah?

wheelchairman
04-02-2006, 10:13 AM
Because years ago you said your nickname at your school was Offspring Sarah. You also said that some people called you Noodles because you looked like him.

I have an extremely selective memory. But that is hilarious. I'm sorry. :(

Tizzalicious
04-02-2006, 10:14 AM
You also said that some people called you Noodles because you looked like him.



I refuse to believe that.

killer_queen
04-02-2006, 11:51 AM
But, but I want to be on the next trip too...

wheelchairman
04-02-2006, 11:56 AM
Alright Gulsah, you're going to Oregon next!

With... Tizz, myself, and let's throw in Endy and Vlad.

Little_Miss_1565
04-02-2006, 11:57 AM
Because years ago you said your nickname at your school was Offspring Sarah. You also said that some people called you Noodles because you looked like him.

I have an extremely selective memory. But that is hilarious. I'm sorry. :(


HAHA. I totally fucking forgot about that until this moment. And believe it, Tizz. I had glasses much like Noodles', and I was also rawther chubby and wore men's clothes and had very short hair, plus I didn't have the voluptuous hourglass figure I do now.

wheelchairman
04-02-2006, 12:00 PM
Nah you weren't that bad. However for some reason you had a picture of your self with a devil that had an erection in the background. (I have the suspicion that the devil was MS-Painted.)

Little_Miss_1565
04-02-2006, 12:08 PM
HAHA, yes! OffspringRulz(some number) did that of me because she hated me. I think she's on the board again now, but I forget what her name is now.

wheelchairman
04-02-2006, 12:12 PM
Wasn't her name Jacques? Yeah she posted on the lj community I think.

Little_Miss_1565
04-02-2006, 12:14 PM
Wasn't her name Jacques? Yeah she posted on the lj community I think.

I think so, I know she was on the LJ community. She got over hating me.

wheelchairman
04-02-2006, 12:51 PM
After a month of steady travelling Endy gets a fever. April 27.

On May 4th Gulsah was bitten by a snake. That girl and natural phallos symbols...

On May 5th Endy died of his fever. We all ate well that day. Very well. Dinner Party with the Donner Party.

On May 7th, someone mysteriously sets fire to our wagon burning one wagon axle. Paranoia strikes the camp.

On May 13th, Gulsah overcomes the snake poisons. Has she learned her lesson to no longer trust snakes (on a wagon train).

May 14th, Vlad gets sick with Typhoid. The rest of us stare angril at Typhoid Maartje.

On May 24th Vlad suddenly feels much better.

May 25th, a thief steals 9 oxen. We only have one left. Damn you mr. hands!

May 27, at a rate of one mile a day, we realize now that we will need more oxen.

May 31st, we make a deal to trade 2 oxen for 321 lbs. of food. The food was stricken with typhoid!

June 16th, Vlad gets the measles. Whatta notaryan!

June 18th, Vlad gives the measles to tizz. The bastards!

June 22nd, Vlad mysteriously dies.

June 29th, Tizz is well again and all is forgotten.

Independence Day, Gulsah breaks her arm. The rest of us yell at her for being so clumsy. She quotes Linkin Park.

July 10th, Tizz becomes a Typhoid Maartje.

July 21st, Gulsah becomes sick and dies. On her tombstone we said "She tried so far, and got so hard."

It is only Tizz and I left to establish Eden. But I suspect her of stealing some of the food for herself.

August 6th, more Typhoid for Maartje. Unfortunately I cannot say with clean conscience that it's a coincidence...

August 8th (is a beautiful day), Tizz dies of Typhoid.

August 13th, I become sick with Typhoid. Fuck. Who would've thought?

August 24th, I am better again. I decide to trade for more oxen.

September 10th, Progress is great. I had to saw my leg off because I feared that it was trying to get in the way of progress.

October 2nd Per gets sick and dies.

calichix
04-02-2006, 07:58 PM
May 25th, Calichix gets lost for 5 days. (how blonde...)



June 25th, Calichix broke her arm. Very blonde..

July 3rd, Calichix plays with a snake and gets bitten. Literally. *sigh*

July 15th, Calichix dies of cholera. We're dropping like flies here!




SON OF A BITCH!

Rag Doll
04-02-2006, 08:02 PM
HAHA, yes! OffspringRulz(some number) did that of me because she hated me. I think she's on the board again now, but I forget what her name is now.

Faded Soul. she doesnt post anymore.

Per, if you play again, I'd like to be a part of it. I fucking loved this game when i was in elementary school. I'll hafta play it again some night soon.