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View Full Version : "I Made A ____ Cry" Joke Contest



wheelchairman
04-13-2006, 10:44 AM
Who can come up with the best IMA_C joke? Inspired by TPKYL's grand original:


Daniel and I were at Starbucks today doing our casual smoke and drink a cappuchino bit before work. Me wearing my Fall Out Boy hoodie and girl pants,and Daniel in his Taking Back Sunday hoodie and camo's. Well,this preppy chick and her 2 friends came up and was like "Hey look its the emo brothers. Why don't you go cry somewhere huh?" to that I kicked my chair back making her jump and I was about a foot taller than her,I said "Why don't you go fuck your damn father! Maybe he'll buy you another fuckin Benz! HELL make him scream while he cums and he'll buy you a whole new mansion!". She started crying and ran away. It was a well-deserved yelling at. Even though I hate to see girls crying at my own words I felt good this time.

Which spawned the following lovely parodies:


Daniella and I were at CheckECheeses' today doing our casual smoke and eat a pizza bit before work. Me wearing my Teltubbies shirt and boy jeans,and Daniella in her Barney shirt and camo's. Well,this ten year old girl and her 2 friends came up and was like "Hey look its the PBS sisters. Why don't you go play with blocks, huh?" to that I kicked my stool back making her scream and I was about two feet taller than her,I said "Why don't you go make out with your Pokemon! Maybe your mother will buy you another collector's card! Maybe your mother will even buy you Pokemon Blue!". She started crying and ran away. It was a well-deserved yelling at. Even though I hate to see girls crying at my own words I felt good this time.

this one is based on a true story


I was a senior in high school, hanging out before classes with my fellow gothy/"freak" compatriots in our corner of the cafeteria. At the time, I was the editor-in-chief of my high school's newspaper. One of the other kids I knew from our corner of the caf wrote a very annoying letter to the editor of the paper, complaining about how the "freaks" (as we were called by the 2,950 other kids in our high school) were so ostracized, and how wonderful it was that there was a store like Hot Topic that catered to us. One morning, I walked up to him and said: "Dude, don't you know? Hot Topic is a branch of the GAP, just like Old Navy and Banana Republic!" It was a well-deserved yelling at. Even though I hate to see boys crying at my own words, I felt good this time.


Leo and I were at the Stalingrad bar (Cell of the Coming Revolution) today doing our casual smoke and drink a shot of vodka bit before doing mass-agitation. Me wearing my hammer and sickle hoodie and torn-up pants,and Leo in his Che Guevara hoodie and dreadlocks. Well,this Trotskyite comrade and her 2 friends came up and was like "Hey look its the Stalin brothers. Why don't you go suck Hitler's Dick!" to that I kicked my chair back making her jump and I was about a foot taller than her,I said "Why don't you go get an icepick in the head! Maybe that will make Perpetual Revolution more realistic! HELL let's see you force back the German Nazi troops". She started crying and ran away. It was a well-deserved yelling at. Even though I hate to see girls crying at my own words I felt good this time.


Ahmed and I were at the Jihad Muhammed Harem for our daily woman beating and coffee before we went to blow up American patrol cars. Well anyways, I was wearing my beard and a turban and Ahmed was wearing the same when an American Marine came in and said "Hey, look, it's two Middle Eastern dudes! Why don't you piss off and go prostrate yourself before Allah like a little bitch!". To that I dropped the stone I was using and jumped up to confront him - only to find that I was in fact a foot shorter than the American, and I careened into his chest and fell on my ass, severely dirtying my beard in the process. So confronted by reality, I had no choice but to admit that, like the original creator of this story, I can't seem to do anything but get pwned, no matter what I do.

Let's see what you got!

Revolver-2005?
04-13-2006, 10:55 AM
Jebediah and I were at the local gay bar/bondage club today doing our casual smoke a sausage and drink some tadpoles bit before work. Me wearing my bondage pants and leather mask,and Daniel in his thong and chains. Well,this big gay guy and his 2 sex slaves came up and was like "Hey look its the bondage bitches. Why don't you choke on your bondage gag?" to that I kicked my chair back making him jump and I was about a foot shorter than him, I said "Why don't you go fuck a woman! Maybe she'll make you bacon and eggs for breakfast! HELL make her scream enough and maybe she'll bring friends!". He started crying and ran away. It was a well-deserved yelling at. Even though I hate to see my fellow homosexual crying at my own words I felt good this time.

T-6005
04-13-2006, 12:09 PM
I so win this.

Corpse
04-13-2006, 12:16 PM
I think SkunkIt's is the best by miles, that is just hilarious.

coke_a_holic
04-13-2006, 02:35 PM
I made this one, but I didn't do a thread for it because I didn't think to make it until after the craze had passed.

Sarah, Amanda, and I were at Starbucks today doing our casual smoke and drink a cappuchino bit before work. Me wearing my pink polo shirt (collar popped, of course) and expensive designer jeans,and Sarah in her Abercrombie and Fitch Sweater with jeans. We saw these two nice looking emo kids sitting and decided to go compliment their looks. But as Sarah mentioned that they looked alike, one of them kicked his chair back making her jump and he was about a foot taller than her! He screamed at her, "Why don't you go fuck your damn father! Maybe he'll buy you another fuckin Benz! HELL make him scream while he cums and he'll buy you a whole new mansion!". Sarah just burst into tears and ran off, it was terrible. I don't believe he had the right to just scream at her, and it was just mean. No one likes to see girls cry, and the worst part is, he and his emo friend just laughed about it! Bastards!

JohnnyNemesis
04-13-2006, 07:09 PM
Sarah, Amanda, and I were at Starbucks today doing our casual smoke and drink a cappuchino bit before work. Me wearing my pink polo shirt (collar popped, of course) and expensive designer jeans,and Sarah in her Abercrombie and Fitch Sweater with jeans. We saw these two nice looking emo kids sitting and decided to go compliment their looks. But as Sarah mentioned that they looked alike, one of them kicked his chair back making her jump and he was about a foot taller than her! He screamed at her, "Why don't you go fuck your damn father! Maybe he'll buy you another fuckin Benz! HELL make him scream while he cums and he'll buy you a whole new mansion!". Sarah just burst into tears and ran off, it was terrible. I don't believe he had the right to just scream at her, and it was just mean. No one likes to see girls cry, and the worst part is, he and his emo friend just laughed about it! Bastards!

This is good, very good. I was hitting reply to rant about how this thread is going to kill a decent brand of jokes, but I guess this is proof that it won't.

wheelchairman
11-03-2006, 03:39 PM
BUMP. This thread is just too good.

Llamas
11-03-2006, 03:49 PM
so, I've found some of these parodies to be hilarious, but I wasn't around during the original. The one posted by "That punk kid you love", was that a serious post he made here in response to something? Just looking for some context.

T-6005
11-03-2006, 04:03 PM
It was a whole thread, I believe.

Endymion
11-03-2006, 04:04 PM
it was serious business.

Llamas
11-03-2006, 04:07 PM
so this guy made a thread about this shit? sounds like the guy on the on topic board who made a thread about how he beat up some kid who said the offspring suck.

wheelchairman
11-03-2006, 04:11 PM
TPKYL told a lot of stories like this. He went from being 14 (and clearly looking it) to claiming he was in his 20s, and having a huge penis. He would tell stories of him with girls, him with other girls, him farting in front of an old lady. It went on...

Endymion
11-03-2006, 04:13 PM
don't forget that his dad was a cop killed in the line of duty, he had a huge scar on his back, etc.

wheelchairman
11-03-2006, 04:16 PM
don't forget that his dad was a cop killed in the line of duty, he had a huge scar on his back, etc.

Oh yeah. And Justin was able to find no proof whatsoever of a cop recently killed in his area. That was why he left, wasn't it?

killer_queen
11-03-2006, 04:23 PM
Yeah, and he came back again and pretended to be someone else, a friend of himself. He asked us why we hated him. It was surprising, we've never thought that he could get that pathetic.

Apathy
11-03-2006, 04:25 PM
Someone post the picture he stole off of some scenester.
That was hilarious, but I can't find it anywhere.

Stranger With Candy
11-03-2006, 04:29 PM
Bob and I were at Toys R` Us today doing our casual Action Toy talking. Me wearing my Action Man hoodie and blue pants,and Bob in his Max Steel hoodie and camo's. Well,this preppy 9 year boy and hes 2 friends came up and was like "Hey look its the action brothers. Why don't you go save the world somewhere huh?" to that I kicked my Legos back making him jump and I was about a foot taller than him,I said "Why don't you go have sex your damn father! Maybe he'll buy you another darn videogame! UNDERGROUND! make him sing while he talks and he'll buy you a whole new gamestation!". he started crying and ran away. It was a well-deserved talking loud at. Even though I love to see boys crying at my own words I felt better this time.



well.... i tryed...

T-6005
11-03-2006, 04:36 PM
make him sing while he talks
What does that mean?

Stranger With Candy
11-03-2006, 04:39 PM
What does that mean?

to sing.... while you talk.... like an opera.

SkunkIt
11-03-2006, 05:13 PM
so, I've found some of these parodies to be hilarious, but I wasn't around during the original. The one posted by "That punk kid you love", was that a serious post he made here in response to something? Just looking for some context.

http://offspring.com/forums/showthread.php?t=19380

I love that thread.

H1T_That
11-04-2006, 05:44 AM
Amiranal and I (Jojan) were in General Chat doing our casual Spam and troll. Me wearing my lips attached to Jojans tits, and him with his nails. Well, this 1337 senior member and his 2 sidekicks came into our thread and posted "Hey look, its the sweedish bum boys, why don't you go chug bleach?" To that i clicked hard on my mouse, making him leave the thread, he was about 500 posts less than me,I said "Why dont you come up with some decent flames! "pwn me and i might even leave the boards for good! To this they started ass kissing and signed out. It was a well deserved flaming, I love to see members signing out at my own words I felt better this time.

HeadAroundU
11-04-2006, 07:15 AM
Eros and I were at Starbucks today doing our casual jokes and drink a cappuchino bit before work. Me wearing my Fat kills!!1 T-shirt and jeans, and Eros in his Big sensitive clitoris T-shirt. Well, this fat latino chick and her 2 friends came up and were like "Hey look it's the mutant-face and this Greek guy. Why don't you go to make fun of people somewhere else?" to that I made a really hot and mad facial expression and I was about a foot taller than her, Eros said "Rules are like pussies, they are made to be broken!" and then asked "Do you even speak Latin!?". She started crying and ran away. Even though I hate to see girls crying, I felt good this time.

the_GoDdEsS
11-04-2006, 07:55 AM
I'm only surprised this thread did not get so many replies at the beginning. Some of these were funny.

Endymion
11-04-2006, 08:01 AM
Eros and I were at Starbucks today doing our casual jokes and drink a cappuchino bit before work. Me wearing my Fat kills!!1 T-shirt and jeans, and Eros in his Big sensitive clitoris T-shirt. Well, this fat latino chick and her 2 friends came up and were like "Hey look it's the mutant-face and this Greek guy. Why don't you go to make fun of people somewhere else?" to that I made a really hot and mad facial expression and I was about a foot taller than her, Eros said "Rules are like pussies, they are made to be broken!" and then asked "Do you even speak Latin!?". She started crying and ran away. Even though I hate to see girls crying, I felt good this time.

HAU is bukkaked with awesome for this.

JohnnyNemesis
11-04-2006, 12:35 PM
Someone induct HAU into the Hall of Fame IMMEDIATELY. efwndbv .jfnbdksc

Nina
11-04-2006, 01:51 PM
HAU and T-6005: thank you. thank you for everything you've done to save this night.

Idiot
11-04-2006, 02:08 PM
Amiranal and I (Jojan) were in General Chat doing our casual Spam and troll. Me wearing my lips attached to Jojans tits, and him with his nails. Well, this 1337 senior member and his 2 sidekicks came into our thread and posted "Hey look, its the sweedish bum boys, why don't you go chug bleach?" To that i clicked hard on my mouse, making him leave the thread, he was about 500 posts less than me,I said "Why dont you come up with some decent flames! "pwn me and i might even leave the boards for good! To this they started ass kissing and signed out. It was a well deserved flaming, I love to see members signing out at my own words I felt better this time.

This one wins in my opinion.

killer_queen
11-04-2006, 02:11 PM
I still don't get why 1565's story didn't get mentioned. It's not just funny, it's also REAL. Which makes it much funnier.

0r4ng3
11-04-2006, 02:13 PM
I think that one got the least mention because it's the farthest from the original story. Still, it's a good one, like the others.

HAU and T-6005 win, though.

HeadAroundU
11-04-2006, 02:28 PM
This one wins in my opinion.
"Amiranal and I (Jojan) were in General Chat doing our casual Spam and troll. Me wearing my lips attached to Jojans tits, and him with his nails."
Does this make a sense to you?

JohnnyNemesis
11-04-2006, 02:35 PM
It had potential, but his poor command of the language ruined it.

Idiot
11-04-2006, 02:50 PM
Aye, tis a shame. Poor implentation, his age comes through.

H1T_That
11-05-2006, 03:47 AM
I was in a hurry, i probalby could have made it better.

Lizardus
11-05-2006, 09:35 PM
Lol bandwagon.

Dexter
Noodles and I were in a bar doing our casual smoke and a beer. Me wearing my Creed sucks t shirt, and Noodles with his glasses. Well, a 13 year old kid and his 2 little brothers came into our table and said "Hey, it's Dexter and Noodles!", To that i kicked my chair back and said "I'm fucking tired of these motherfucking kids in this motherfucking bar" To this they started crying and left. It was a well deserved yelling, I love to see little kids crying at my own words it makes me feel like a giant.

JoY
11-06-2006, 08:11 AM
whatever I think of to make another rip off, it sounds incredibly lame to me. but then again, I think the entire joke has gone old pretty fast & became lame ages ago.

however:
I was at some pizza place today, where my homie Mark Bryan works & on his break, we sat down for some spacecake while smoking a joint. I was in my usual white lab coat & my buddy Mark was wearing his t-shirt with "WEED IS AWESOME.com". we saw these two sharp looking hot chicks eating pizza & one whispered loudly enough to hear to the other; "hey look, it's the 40 year old virgin!" to which Mark kicked his chair back making her jump & he was about a foot taller than her. he said; "WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOUR BOYFRIEND, SLUT! MAYBE HE'LL BUY YOU ANOTHER FUCKIN BENZ! HELL, MAKE HIM SCREAM WHILE HE'S CUMMIN & HE'LL BUY YOU A WHOLE NEW MANSION! IGNORANT PIECE OF *insert smiley*, I'M 36!!" she started laughing & walked away. I don't think he made much of an impression.

Stranger With Candy
11-06-2006, 08:34 AM
Lol bandwagon.

best one! IMO

HeadAroundU
11-06-2006, 08:49 AM
JoY, very good.

wheelchairman
11-06-2006, 09:18 AM
The best part about Joy's is the last line.

Sin Studly
11-06-2006, 09:44 AM
Joy wins this, but...

Per and I were at offspring.com/forums today doing our post an overused parody thread before work. Me wearing my pretentious b&w posing-like-I'm-way-sexier-than-I-actually-am avatar, and Per in his trying-too-hard-to-be-edgy-by-mocking-a-dead-celebrity avatar. Well,this original poster and her 2 friends came up and was like "Hey look its the overused joke brothers. Why don't you go post about Chuck Norris somewhere huh?" to that I kicked my chair back making her jump and I was about a foot taller than her,I said "Why don't you go make up your own funny thread! Maybe the board will up your fuckin Repz! HELL make them scream while they laugh and they'll register a whole new user to get you referrals!". She started crying and ran away. It was a well-deserved yelling at. Even though I hate to see girls crying at my own words I felt good this time.

JohnnyNemesis
11-06-2006, 11:27 AM
That was fuckin winz, Justin. I started reading it with rolled eyes because I thought the joke was way too overdone, but I ended up loling hardcore by the end.

JoY
11-07-2006, 04:29 AM
thanks Justin, Per & HAU.

Justin's one did manage to crack me up good. *thumb up*