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View Full Version : What kind of movie would you make?



killer_queen
04-25-2006, 11:02 AM
What the title says in fact. There's nothing much to say.

I'm not sure that if anyone ever dreamt about being a director but I guess most of you at least have a story in your mind. So I thought it would be fun to know them. Feel free to tell details like which actor/actress would you want in your movie, what kind of decoration would you use, etc...

Preocupado
04-25-2006, 11:10 AM
Hmmmm yes, i'd like to tell the story of an old therapist's epitaph. And i'd put lots of chocolate in the movie.

Vera
04-25-2006, 11:14 AM
Pseudo-artistic, filmed in black'n'white, a rather simple story of two people who've loved and lost and now have severe personal problems and yet they can't help but fall in love. Angsty, but hopefully interesting on a basic human level. The characters would be 30-ish, not teenagers.

As for actors, well, I've got a few in mind, really depending on whether they'd make the movie in Hollywood, Finland or India.

Rocky-girl
04-25-2006, 11:20 AM
I don't know. I've never thoungh about myself in this way. I have 2 thoughts:
1. It'll be about nowadays, not documentary but close to it (world by teenager's eyes)
2. Love story from life.
Something of that kind.

killer_queen
04-25-2006, 11:30 AM
2. Love story from life.
Sweet. I love love stories.

Mine wouldn't be that interesting. Although I love romantic comedies I'm not a romantic person nor funny. Besides I'm not creative at all so I guess making Monkey Island's movie would be the best for me. With lame jokes, wonderful music and lots of hawt pirates sound fun.

It would be great to write my own script I have no idea about it for now. But I'd definitely make the music on my own.

And Sanni, yours sound pretty good but black and white would be annoying for me. I get depressed while watching old movies. I don't know, maybe it's just me...

HeadAroundU
04-25-2006, 11:30 AM
The anal porn.
I know there is a lot of talented BBS members.
$easy money$

Vera
04-25-2006, 11:44 AM
And Sanni, yours sound pretty good but black and white would be annoying for me. I get depressed while watching old movies. I don't know, maybe it's just me...
I get what you mean.. I just like the idea of black'n'white giving a special tone to every shadow, and every light. It would make filming kind of easier and more interesting, playing with lighting to set the tone, no colours distracting.

I probably couldn't make a good film, though, haven't got the vision. I wish someone would make films based on my ideas.

Rocky-girl
04-25-2006, 11:47 AM
Gulsah, ha, that's funny! I want to see that film! I think I'll die from laughter!

Andy
04-25-2006, 12:21 PM
Hmm. I would make a spoof film - Not a shitty modern spoof, like the Scary Movie films, but an old school one similar to the Airplane/Naked Gun franchise. What it'd be about I'm unsure, I'll leave that to the writers!

On the other hand, I would be tempted to make a horror/monster movie. Something of the similar vein of Jeepers Creepers*, but it would have much more suspense, and preferably not to reveal the true nature of our 'monster' until the very end (if at all); leaving for a more chilling "what the fuck is it" feeling to the viewer. There's nothing quite like the fear of the unknown to shit people up.

Yeah, it'd be one of those two.

*I know, I know it was a shit film; but the suspense in the first 30 minutes was spot on.

grunge
04-25-2006, 01:26 PM
I quiet agree with Rocky-gir.l I'd like to make the documentary black'n'white film about teens in our modern stupid world.

ofsmurfsandpixies
04-25-2006, 01:32 PM
BLACK TO THE FUTURE!-damn thats funky!

el_monkey
04-25-2006, 01:39 PM
I would do a psychedelic movie with looooaaaaads of good music. like a mixture of fight club, fear and loaghing in las vegas and nochnoi dozor

actors would be :

john malkovich
mickey rourke
johnny depp
madonna
and the one that played domino

Mr. Noodles
04-25-2006, 03:19 PM
What the title says in fact. There's nothing much to say.

I'm not sure that if anyone ever dreamt about being a director but I guess most of you at least have a story in your mind. So I thought it would be fun to know them. Feel free to tell details like which actor/actress would you want in your movie, what kind of decoration would you use, etc...
Sci-fi, action, i'm actually a pretty good writer i think.

Sin Studly
04-25-2006, 03:30 PM
I'd update shakespeare for the kids, make it extremely violent, full of sex, and totally without artistic merit. I'd cast Orlando Bloom and Lindsay Lohan. Then I'd use the profits to drink my shame away.

coke_a_holic
04-25-2006, 03:34 PM
I'd make a film about a slow descent into insanity that is somewhere between depressing and horrifying. No special effects, just paranoia growing and the views from a normal point of view so no one can really see what's going on in the main character's head. Ending would be suicide, naturally.

kamikaze
04-25-2006, 07:00 PM
A horror/porno.
"The Dead Shall Do It Again"

Mota Boy
04-26-2006, 01:33 AM
A film noir set in colonial India in the late thirties/early forties.

Vera
04-26-2006, 02:11 AM
A film noir set in colonial India in the late thirties/early forties.
Marry me!

.....

killer_queen
04-26-2006, 07:21 AM
Sci-fi, action, i'm actually a pretty good writer i think.
I'm sure you are.

Well, Andy, the first one sounds great. It has been a long time since I've seen a really funny movie. Top Secret is a good example for it. (the only bad side of it was Val Kilmer).

And el_monkey, yours completely sucks.

Andy
04-26-2006, 07:38 AM
A horror/porno.
"The Dead Shall Do It Again"
The tagline for that could be "Because dead women don't say no."

BREAK
04-26-2006, 11:42 AM
People sitting around talking for two hours.

Vera
04-26-2006, 12:02 PM
You might like Coffee & Cigarettes, Break..

no_way
04-26-2006, 01:22 PM
i've already made a movie..:

http://media.putfile.com/Dinosaurs-Earth

actually i made it with my family and an electric dinasour

ENJOY IT!!!

Mr. Noodles
04-26-2006, 01:24 PM
A horror/porno.
"The Dead Shall Do It Again"
WTF? That would be very weird.

0r4ng3
04-26-2006, 01:31 PM
Sci-fi, action, i'm actually a pretty good writer i think.
If you're a good writer, you wouldn't consider making a sci-fi action movie.

Mr. Noodles
04-26-2006, 01:32 PM
If you're a good writer, you wouldn't consider making a sci-fi action movie.
Whatever. They're actually pretty good, most of the time.
Do u like the Three Stooges? Sorry, just had 2 ask.

jacknife737
04-26-2006, 02:30 PM
Something like Lock Stock, but set in Hong Kong and directed by John Woo.

Andy
04-26-2006, 03:03 PM
So, nothing like Lock Stock then.

SaiKYoU
04-26-2006, 04:33 PM
WTF? That would be very weird.
i'm sure that kind of movies alredy exist! :eek:

and i'll make a Reservoir Dogs like movie, just a couple of difernt places to film, enough actors that people can remind all of them during the whole movie, and a "the end" that can make people think "what could have happend if..."

and of course, the suitcase of Pulp Fiction...

Bazza
04-26-2006, 05:53 PM
id get a bunch of actors/bums, put them on lsd and film it, now people would pay to watch that

I don't know
04-26-2006, 05:57 PM
I'd like to do a horror movie, but a really scaring one, I just wanted to do a movie like that because I've never seen a movie that really scares me, so I'd like to do one

Bazza
04-26-2006, 06:00 PM
yeah but surely by making it, you'd remove the horror factor towards yourself, cos you'd know its not real

I don't know
04-26-2006, 06:18 PM
so... does that mean that I'll never watch a movie that scares me? shit, I won't do my movie anymore, you're right, if I do it I'll know everything, and that won't scare me, I won't be able to get curious too. you've just destroyed my plans, okay you've just warned me, so I won't be frustaded later on

XYlophonetreeZ
04-26-2006, 10:25 PM
Well... I'D HAVE MADE US A KILLER MOVIE. I'D HAVE MADE US A KILLER MOVIE! I WOULD HAVE MADE US A KILLER MOVIE!!!!! I WOULD HAVE MADE US A KILLER MOVIEEEEAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'd make a movie starring Harrison Ford as an old, loony, reclusive conspiracy theorist who firmly believes that the Aztecs had an advanced space program, and having advanced as far as was technologically possible on this planet, they received a message from the supernatural to relocate their entire civilization to a far-off planet, and blasted off as soon as the white man came to America. He pieces together all the clues, despite listening to others call him crazy, which will eventually lead him past all kinds of scary things involving bones, scorpions, ghosts, and explosive diarrhea, until he finally discovers the Aztecs' old super-secret launch site in this super-secret chamber at the top of a super-secret pyramid.

I mentioned that I would get Harrison Ford. Actually, first I'd try for Russell Crowe, but he'd reject it because the movie doesn't sound "epic" enough for him. And then I'd try for Michael Douglas and get him, and even shoot a few scenes with him, but he'd piss me off too much and I'd have to fire him. "Michael," I'd say. "You're playing the good guy here. You're the hero. You da man here! C'mon man, make me like you in this movie!" And he'd be all, "what're you talking about, I'm acting the best I know how," so I'd do another take, but he'd keep talking to all of the other characters as if they are all the stupidest people in the world. Even during one scene in which he kissed his baby girl goodnight and said, "I love you, my little princess," I'd still be thoroughly convinced that he was holding back every muscle in his body from slapping her across the face. So I'd just settle for Harrison Ford. I don't care how old he is, he's Harrison Fucking Ford and he's gonna be in my fucking movie.

Now, I have to figure out the rest of my cast. Let's see here.

I've got it! Tommy Lee Jones can CHASE someone! Jackpot! Hmm... what if... he could chase Harrison Ford? Yeah, yeah, and he'd have a gun and shit, and he'd be some kind of cop who prevents him from going to the Aztec ruins and breaking all of those laws he'll be breaking! Because he'll be breaking laws! I can just smell the success.

To keep public interest up, there'll have to be a couple of younger cops too. A black cop and a white cop? With comically conflicting personalities? Sounds like a surefire recipe for WIN to me!

For a reason that I'll work out later, Harrison Ford will definitely have to learn martial arts to discover the Aztec rocket launch site. His martial arts master can be played by an aging and washed-up Liam Neeson, who, by the end of the movie, will be far-outskilled by his apprentice, Harrison Ford.

Bruce Willis will be in this movie for some reason. In one of the greatest mysteries of our times, the name "Bruce Willis" looks good on a movie poster. But first he'll need a child co-star. I'll just pick up some young whippersnapper whose parents made them take acting classes from the age of 2. Preferably one with a really stupidly difficult-to-pronounce name, or else one named after a state, or something. All Bruce Willis will have to do is play an inconsequential character who wears a cloak and smiles at his child co-star, not showing any emotion whatsoever as if looking right through him/her, and periodically mumbling "sure, kid."

A minimum of 5 times during this movie, someone must utter the line "You knew my father??," voice trembling. Preferably Orlando Bloom. We can squeeze him in somehow.

Every single scene in this movie will transition into the next scene with a character asking "How do you like your eggs?" This will be easy enough during the scenes that take place in people's homes, but if complications arise such as being in the middle of the desert, that's OK, we can give someone like Ashton Kutcher or Tony Danza or somebody a cameo by popping up from behind a cactus and whipping out a frying pan and delivering the kicker.

And last but not least, Richard Dreyfuss will play a naysaying politician who speaks out against Harrison Ford and gets annoyed whenever anybody asks him a question. You will be able to see the blood vessels in his head bursting with sheer annoyance.

This movie is going to make more money than God.

Andy
04-26-2006, 10:37 PM
I smirked all the way through that litle blurb. I haven't smirked like that in years...

Looks copied and pasted...Where'd you get it from?

Not Ozymandias
04-26-2006, 10:57 PM
A remake of Lord of the Rings. It's already been a couple years.

XYlophonetreeZ
04-26-2006, 10:57 PM
Looks copied and pasted...Where'd you get it from?
Haha, the fuck? Not copied and pasted. I've had something along those lines brewing in my head for a while and this thread finally gave me an excuse to put it all together. Rest assured, I'm not pulling a dain.

Although I may check skateboard-city in a week or so to see if this is up there yet.