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View Full Version : I just got kicked out of my best friend's wedding party



Little_Miss_1565
05-02-2006, 08:53 PM
My friend is marrying someone I don't think he should be marrying. But that's besides the point. She's for some reason convinced that all of his friends should be her liek BFF's 4EVA or something. This isn't going to work with her and me, because I have fairly sensitive crazydar and she trips it like WHOA I can barely hear when she's around because it's screaming at me "HIT THE DECKZZZXXXXXX." She's been pushing me to "can we talk" over e-mail and I've been putting it off and finally she e-mailed me again like "it's been three weeks talk to me right now" and I responded...angrily. Now I'm out of the wedding party "because of all the emotions in the air right now."

Not like I want to be on her side of the aisle, anyway. And I guess it's one less dress I have to buy. But the fact that my best friend is hitching himself to this insane woman is really, really getting to me. I'm trying to be supportive of him, but she will not let me be!

XYlophonetreeZ
05-02-2006, 09:04 PM
What's crazy about her? Like, what kinda shit does she do that weirds you out so bad?

I dunno, seems to me like it's a good thing to make an effort to get to know your future spouse's friends. Of course I trust your judgment (and crazydar), but it's not necessarily crazy to be upset at someone ignoring an e-mail for 3 weeks. I mean, it SOUNDS like she's just being friendly, even if annoyingly so.

All About Eve
05-02-2006, 09:06 PM
I think it's sort of like that annoying kid on the playground going "will you be my friend?" constantly. It wouldn't be so bad if he didn't keep fucking asking.

Mota Boy
05-02-2006, 09:08 PM
Eh, situations like that ain't no good, but it's something you're going to have to deal with if you plan on keeping your friend. It's not like he's going to get married and then let you call him up and be all like "Hey, wanna head out with me but not your wife?" and he's gonna be all like "Yeah sure let's go!"

At least she's a nice person. I mean, overly-friendly people can be annoying, but perhaps you could... could've?... used your friend as a buffer to convey the lack of automatic friendshipness and necessitude for taking things down a notch. Now I think the ball's in your court. They're almost certainly going to get married, and you're going to have to deal with it if you want to keep the friend around... and also not cause too much wedding drama. I think you two need to go on a camping trip together where you both get lost and chased by bears and forge a lifelong bond. Or, if it doesn't look like that'll happen, just trip her during the bear chase scene.

Rocky-girl
05-02-2006, 09:38 PM
But the fact that my best friend is hitching himself to this insane woman is really, really getting to me. I'm trying to be supportive of him, but she will not let me be!
Only you see that. I think he likes her very much and if you will continue, he won't like that too.

It's hard when your friends leave.

barangatang
05-02-2006, 09:39 PM
Are you by any chance jealous of your friend's wife? Or even jealous of him getting married?

Sunny
05-02-2006, 09:46 PM
perhaps i'm the only one who knows what it's like to watch a friend get involved with a complete wackjob. i've been through it, it bothered me, and frankly, no, i wasn't "JUS JELIS". pfffft.

anyway, she might be just being friendly, but pushing you to talk to her like that is kind of weird to say the least. =/ i'm sorry. there are too many crazy people in this world.

Little_Miss_1565
05-02-2006, 09:55 PM
Just got off the phone with my friend. Am very tired so this will be short. Basically she thinks i've been 'leading her on' in a way...her thinking that we're friends and have some kind of connection even though we have nothing in common AT ALL but my friend. I think he realizes now that she's a little out of touch. Sure she wants to be friendly. but dude this is not the way to make friendships. Beating someone over the head "WILL--YOU--BE--MY---FRIEND? *beat beat beat*"

And no, I'm not jealous at all. My friend and I stayed alive in high school for eachother. we honor that bond we share but it doesn't go anywhere but friendship. he's never been anything but a friend to me, nothing romantic. and def. not jealous that he's getting married. I don't want to get married until like 30.

Tizzalicious
05-02-2006, 10:36 PM
Wow, she sounds pretty annoying.

It sucks when friends decided to be with someone a little (or very much) crazy though. Or someone you can't stand. I know all about that.

T-6005
05-02-2006, 10:38 PM
I have no experience with a friend being with someone crazy. Well, I do, but not this sort of crazy.

Good luck.

wheelchairman
05-02-2006, 11:29 PM
Yeah, my friends are pretty upset cause I'm dating a chick just like that.

Sin Studly
05-03-2006, 12:08 AM
How many times have I told you to dump that insane whore, Per?

Vera
05-03-2006, 01:27 AM
Maybe your friend can talk to this girl and ration with her to let you back into the party. I mean, if this is your BEST FRIEND then you should definitely be there.

No matter what the emotions are in this case, if you can put them aside to celebrate their wedding then so should she.

Nina
05-03-2006, 05:13 AM
I had trouble understanding what you wrote. I guess I'm the only one.

I'm sorry to hear about it, though. Do you think she is that bad that he really shouldnt be marrying her? Convincing him to do/not do something is wrong but giving an honest opinion isnt...how did he react?

edit: forgot the word "understanding". duh.

killer_queen
05-03-2006, 05:19 AM
I just want to say I really respect what you've done, 1565. Probably someone else wouldn't care or wouldn't say anything for not being misunderstood.

But, Vera is right. You should be there. He's your friend. Your best friend. You might be regretful for this in the future.

And if you go, take pictures of yourself and post here. I want to see the dress you'll buy.

Little_Miss_1565
05-03-2006, 07:43 AM
Thanks, all. I sobbed for like an hour on the phone with him last night. He wants me at the wedding, but it sounds like Jess is really excited about the high horse she's on now by un-making me a bridesmaid. So I guess I'll be there as a guest. Schmeh.

T-6005
05-03-2006, 07:48 AM
Thanks, all. I sobbed for like an hour on the phone with him last night. He wants me at the wedding, but it sounds like Jess is really excited about the high horse she's on now by un-making me a bridesmaid. So I guess I'll be there as a guest. Schmeh.
Guest = more drunk than bridesmaids.

Which is awesome.

Little_Miss_1565
05-03-2006, 07:49 AM
Guest = more drunk than bridesmaids.

Which is awesome.

there will be NO BOOZE AT THE RECEPTION, because the bride's family are all a bunch of alcoholic hicks. Apparently when I was poking fun at the lack of a cash bar, I offended her. Dude I was a bridesmaid at a mormon wedding, for cryin' out loud. We still had some fun with the whole lack of alcohol thing. Wutevr.

T-6005
05-03-2006, 07:53 AM
Mormons scare me - the hardcore ones I've met seem to be permanently happy. In a scary way.

Well, as long as you'll be able to have a good time regardless, I suppose that's all that really matters.

Mota Boy
05-03-2006, 12:23 PM
See if you can get in as a best man.

Little_Miss_1565
05-03-2006, 01:37 PM
See if you can get in as a best man.

That's what got me into all this trouble in the first place! I wanted to be a groomsman, but they insisted on having gendered wedding parties so that no one would have to decide who they liked better--more like she thinks all women are a threat to her relationship and she wants to keep them away from her husband-to-be, but whatever. When she asked me flat out whose side of the aisle I'd rather be on, I made the mistake of answering honestly. Bah.

Mota Boy
05-03-2006, 01:39 PM
Flower girl?

JoY
05-05-2006, 05:44 AM
Sure she wants to be friendly. but dude this is not the way to make friendships. Beating someone over the head "WILL--YOU--BE--MY---FRIEND? *beat beat beat*"

hahaha, oh my god, those people are lyke, the WORST. so fucking annoying. for me it was never a 'necessaty', like kind of in your case, to respond to those kind of attempts. like, we might've shared a friend, or a hobby, or whatever, but never like that. so yes, your position kind of.. sucks. aw, just give it a try, try to develop some kind of undying patience & just go for it without thinking & certainly not thinking twice. then at least you've done 'your bit'.

when's the wedding?

Little_Miss_1565
05-05-2006, 05:55 AM
July 1. I'm not going. I really don't want to come between them on their wedding day. I've known them for more than 7 years now and we've never found anything in common, and we won't now that I'm expected to force some kind of connection. Gah. :(

JoY
05-05-2006, 06:01 AM
*cuddles* sometimes knowing each other for a long, long time just seems to obligate you to be friends. I don't completely get how that works, either. just make sure you don't lose your friend over this. if I were you, I'd definitely NOT let this stop you from going to the wedding (grammar-alert! boozah). wouldn't your friend miss you? bwah, none of your options seem too hot, right now. if you go, you could piss her off & create tension, but if you don't.. your friend WILL miss you there & even might be offended that you didn't go through as much trouble as possible to be there anyway. can't you drop by & leave when the party starts, or the other way around?

Rinoa
05-05-2006, 09:27 AM
It can be a bit difficult it your best friend is the opposite gender and they get involved with someone. I guess your best friend's other half would naturally feel threatened.

My best friend is a guy and almost every boyfriend I've had have acted weird in front of him. Even though they knew my best friend and I grew up together and are like brother and sister they've still been a bit jealous of that closeness.

I guess your best friend's spouse wants to be closer to you just for reassurance that you won't take her husband-to-be away from her.

If you don't go to the wedding party, won't that hurt your best friend's feelings?