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bd007h
05-06-2006, 09:05 PM
just got this in an email:


Why did the chicken cross the road? CLEVER!
>
>
>
> > DR. PHIL:
>
> > The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he
>
> > must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it
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> > goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need
>
> > to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his
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> > "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.
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> >
>
> > OPRAH:
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> > Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
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> > wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken
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> > learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm
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> > going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the
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> > road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
>
> >
>
> > GEORGE W BUSH:
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> > We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
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> > know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is
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> > either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
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> >
>
> > COLIN POWELL:
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> > Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image
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> > of the chicken crossing the road.
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> >
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> > ANDERSON COOPER/CNN:
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> > We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
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> > allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
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> >
>
> > JOHN KERRY:
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> > Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against
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> > it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
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> > chicken's intentions. I am for it now, and will remain against it.
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> >
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> > PAT BUCHANAN:
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> > To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
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> >
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> > MARTHA STEWART:
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> > No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
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> > standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
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> > dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
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> > information.
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> >
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> > DR SEUSS:
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> > Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
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> >
>
> > ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
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> > To die in the rain. Alone!
>
> >
>
> > JERRY FALWELL:
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> > Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in
>
> > front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's
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> > why they call it the "other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is
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> > gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we
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> > boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
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> > liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the
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> > other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's
>
> > as plain and simple as that!
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> >
>
> > GRANDPA:
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> > In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody
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> > told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
>
> >
>
> > BARBARA WALTERS:
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> > Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
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> > chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it
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> > experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
>
> > life long dream of crossing the road.
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> >
>
> > JOHN LENNON:
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> > Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.
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> >
>
> > ARISTOTLE:
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> > It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
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> >
>
> > BILL GATES:
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> > I have just released eChicken2005, which will not only cross roads,
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> > but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
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> > check book. Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken. The
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> > Platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^ (C:\.....
>
> > reboot......)
>
> >
>
> > ALBERT EINSTEIN:
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> > Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
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> > chicken?
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> >
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >
>
> > --
>
> > Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who
>
> > are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.
>
> > --Mark Twain
>
> >
>
>

TheUnholyNightbringer
05-06-2006, 09:06 PM
Old.

</Joey>

T-6005
05-06-2006, 09:08 PM
Yep - unfortunately, I've already seen these. A long time ago.

JohnnyNemesis
05-06-2006, 09:08 PM
I still enjoyed that.

neocon58
05-06-2006, 09:10 PM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/1003/payday/chicken.gif

TheUnholyNightbringer
05-06-2006, 09:14 PM
Now that was fuckin' funny.

DeAtHsTaR
05-06-2006, 09:16 PM
HAHAHA that put a smile on my face.

TheUnholyNightbringer
05-06-2006, 09:18 PM
$10 says it'll be on SkC within half an hour.

All About Eve
05-06-2006, 09:18 PM
Yeah, I've seen it before, but it was long enough ago for me to enjoy it.

Neocon's far surpassed it, however.

DeAtHsTaR
05-06-2006, 10:09 PM
$10 says it'll be on SkC within half an hour.
What's skc?

I know what you mean, but if you went there and asked what skc is, no one would know. It's Sb-C. Just like you guys call this place bbs, although there are thousands of forums that people call bbs. What if someone calls it a forum? Do you get all pissy?

All About Eve
05-06-2006, 10:11 PM
You and your inside jokes! What a knee-slapper!

0r4ng3
05-06-2006, 10:22 PM
Yeah, we don't even know what a pwn is.

coke_a_holic
05-06-2006, 10:23 PM
Us knowing a pwn? Never happened.

0r4ng3
05-06-2006, 10:24 PM
What? pwn off.

T-6005
05-06-2006, 10:28 PM
Yeah, we don't even know what a pwn is.
Is it an inside joke?

DeAtHsTaR
05-06-2006, 10:28 PM
What? pwn off.
PFFT....you can't even pronounce pwn!
But seriously, this thread is gr9. Yes, gr9. One level up from gr8.

kamikaze
05-06-2006, 11:59 PM
Why did the chicken cross the road?
... To dedicate his life to the world of science.

bd007h
05-07-2006, 12:00 AM
why didn't the chicken cross the road?

because it was a chicken

Lizardus
05-07-2006, 12:16 AM
Why?
Because the chicken loves the cock!

coke_a_holic
05-07-2006, 12:22 AM
The correct answer is to get to the other side? Have NONE of you people ever heard the joke? God damn...

All About Eve
05-07-2006, 12:57 AM
PFFT....you can't even pronounce pwn!
But seriously, this thread is gr9. Yes, gr9. One level up from gr8.
Actually, you're wrong. Mike, Jesse, I, and others (obviously they didn't matter as much to the conversation) devised a theory on this. I9 is one more than h8. By this proven theory, one more than gr8 would be hs9.

TheUnholyNightbringer
05-07-2006, 05:51 AM
What's skc?

I know what you mean, but if you went there and asked what skc is, no one would know. It's Sb-C. Just like you guys call this place bbs, although there are thousands of forums that people call bbs. What if someone calls it a forum? Do you get all pissy?

No. Not at all. They can call it whatever they like.

However, stop posting and kill yourself.

Andy
05-07-2006, 05:57 AM
Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get away from Dain.

LOLZPWN!!!!111!1111!1oneone!!!11!11!!!eleven!!!

Right, back to bed for me.

JohnnyNemesis
05-07-2006, 07:26 AM
I call this place a forum all the time.

Idiot
05-07-2006, 07:30 AM
You missed Martin Luther King:

Can't a chicken cross the road without having it's motives called into question?

kamikaze
05-07-2006, 08:25 AM
Why don't women wear watches?
The clock on the stove is all they need.

JohnnyNemesis
05-07-2006, 08:27 AM
The chicken was going to cross the road, but then noticed that dain was copying his moves and using them on the road in his neighborhood.

TheUnholyNightbringer
05-07-2006, 08:36 AM
He then claimed to have told everyone that he'd borrowed the moves from someone else.

T-6005
05-07-2006, 08:48 AM
And of course, the theme of the day:

Why did the chicken cross the road? Daor eht ssorc nekcihc eth did yhw!

Idiot
05-07-2006, 09:34 AM
Backwards, how clever.

T-6005
05-07-2006, 09:40 AM
Backwards, how clever.
....You must have missed the palyndrome thread. Otherwise, your name suits you too well.

JohnnyNemesis
05-07-2006, 09:58 AM
They're not palindromes if they're not real words consistently each way though.

"Tis Ivan on a visit" remains my favorite though.

DeAtHsTaR
05-07-2006, 10:13 AM
Actually, you're wrong. Mike, Jesse, I, and others (obviously they didn't matter as much to the conversation) devised a theory on this. I9 is one more than h8. By this proven theory, one more than gr8 would be hs9.
Wow, touche.

Idiot
05-07-2006, 03:44 PM
....You must have missed the palyndrome thread. Otherwise, your name suits you too well.

Yeah, I missed that thread.

bd007h
05-07-2006, 04:35 PM
The chicken was going to cross the road, but then noticed that dain was copying his moves and using them on the road in his neighborhood.

golden .

coke_a_holic
05-07-2006, 05:09 PM
Actually, you're wrong. Mike, Jesse, I, and others (obviously they didn't matter as much to the conversation) devised a theory on this. I9 is one more than h8. By this proven theory, one more than gr8 would be hs9.
As seen here:


Adriann says:
don't reply please
Mike says:
*shifty eyes*
Adriann says:
h8
Mike says:
i9
Adriann says:
stfu
Mike says:
make me!

0r4ng3
05-07-2006, 05:11 PM
I just realized that "h" is the 8th letter in the alphabet.

I'm freakin' out here!

Edit:

z26! :mad:

sk8ter-hater
05-07-2006, 05:28 PM
REminded me of this. (http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/einstein2)
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/einsteinjokes/
4's kinda stupid.

one_fine_day
05-07-2006, 06:14 PM
did he cross it with a toad? XD

DeAtHsTaR
05-07-2006, 06:56 PM
golden .
Ha, I'm too lazy to find the original post, but that actually made me laugh some.

All About Eve
05-07-2006, 07:01 PM
As seen here:
Yeah, but we'd actually established it earlier. I'm certain it was in a multiperson chat.

coke_a_holic
05-07-2006, 07:05 PM
That conversation was held today, I was just giving an example of the i9 theorem.

0r4ng3
05-07-2006, 07:08 PM
Yeah, but still...

z26 u! :mad:

All About Eve
05-07-2006, 07:09 PM
.27 u !

Mannen som blev en gris
05-08-2006, 02:19 AM
I see were this is going... 29!

...


I could write "lolz amirite" here, but I won't, since that would be extremely unoriginal and I'd become all... Sinister.


And I loved the dog gif.

SkunkIt
05-08-2006, 04:45 AM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/1003/payday/chicken.gif

I love this. lmao.

Anya82
05-08-2006, 04:11 PM
that email posted was nice.
But THE gif is simply wonderful.

Llamas
05-08-2006, 07:54 PM
the photo and the einstein jokes were awesome.

GreenTerror
05-08-2006, 08:04 PM
This is by far the best thread I've read in a while. And the Bill Gates part of the E-Mail made me LoL like OMG.

But yes, the .Gif was ROFL worthy.