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View Full Version : Fuck jobs, fuck em



TheUnholyNightbringer
05-12-2006, 06:28 AM
So I applied for the job of English Writer near me. This job was perfect for me. It's for a publishing company, and it involves proof-reading, preparing of documentation, that kind of jazz. The application said "high standard of English required, and knowledge of Microsoft Office. Previous experience helpful but not required."

I think, perfect! I have an A* in English and I've won all kinds of literary competitions. I can do English. And I have a B in Information Technology, and let's face it, anyone can do Office. So I send off an application, with high hopes.

I got a letter today saying they didn't even want to interview me because I have no previous office experience. Helpful but not required MY ASS.

There's nothing quite as demoralising as looking for a full time job in England. Everyone wants previous experience, but no one hires without experience. So I'm stuck working shitty hours in a shitty bar for shitty wages. Fuck off.

the_GoDdEsS
05-12-2006, 06:53 AM
There's nothing quite as demoralising as looking for a full time job in England. Everyone wants previous experience, but no one hires without experience. So I'm stuck working shitty hours in a shitty bar for shitty wages. Fuck off.

Pfffft, stop whining. It's the same everywhere. I got a fucking MA degree and it's worth shit without experience as well.

Paint_It_Black
05-12-2006, 06:53 AM
Fuck them up their stupid asses.

TheUnholyNightbringer
05-12-2006, 06:53 AM
Alright, so remove the words "in England". My point still stands.

Andy
05-12-2006, 07:01 AM
It's all a load of bollocks.

Autonomist
05-12-2006, 07:07 AM
I'm at the point in my life where I'm looking for my first job, however I have no fucking clue as to what kind of work I should be looking into. I'm desperate enough to apply to just about anything, providing I can work shifts around my school hours and wouldn't have to work at a shitty place like MacDonalds and ruin my complexion.

Isolated Fury
05-12-2006, 07:11 AM
How old are you?

Autonomist
05-12-2006, 07:13 AM
Just turned 15.

Isolated Fury
05-12-2006, 07:14 AM
And you're debating whether to go to fast food or not?...Dude, a fast food job is better than no job at all.

clokey43
05-12-2006, 07:15 AM
I've always wondered how you get a job as everywhere requires experience. It looks like were all destined to work shit shifts in shit jobs for shit wages.

Autonomist
05-12-2006, 07:15 AM
Agreed, though I really don't need a job that bad and I like my face just the way it is.

Isolated Fury
05-12-2006, 07:16 AM
I worked at Mikkie D's for two years, and I still have a baby face.

Paint_It_Black
05-12-2006, 07:23 AM
Autonomist, consider hotel work. Wide choice in hours, and you would possibly have the chance to do homework at work.

Edit: Nevermind. Just saw your age.

Isolated Fury
05-12-2006, 07:25 AM
Is prostitution still illegal?

Paint_It_Black
05-12-2006, 07:28 AM
Is prostitution still illegal?

I hope so, I'd hate to have to start paying tax.

Isolated Fury
05-12-2006, 07:31 AM
Oh, but whoring myself out is taxing enough as it is!

OMG UBER-PUN!

(Oh shit...Time to go take a philosophy final. Bye guys!)

JohnnyNemesis
05-12-2006, 07:33 AM
Pfffft, stop whining. It's the same everywhere. I got a fucking MA degree and it's worth shit without experience as well.


The lie we're always fed as students is that having a college or grad-school degree is what leads to getting jobs, but that's not what it is at all. It's the social connections you make with powerful people IN those schools that leads to jobs, not the fuckin' degrees at all.

So, yeah, it's all so bleak, and it kills me.

nieh
05-12-2006, 07:35 AM
There's nothing quite as demoralising as looking for a full time job in England. Everyone wants previous experience, but no one hires without experience. So I'm stuck working shitty hours in a shitty bar for shitty wages. Fuck off.

It's the same thing everywhere. Try getting a job through a temp agency. They're normally a decent way to get experience and sometimes a foot in the door at a decent company. It might be stupid shit like data entry, but it's something to start with.

JoY
05-12-2006, 07:41 AM
Is prostitution still illegal?
depends what kind of prostitution & in what area of the world. in the Netherlands it isn't, unless you're in an illegal circuit. like, walking around on parking lots, trying to pick up guys to give them a blowjob in their car for your daily shot of heroin, *that*'s kind of illegal. over here, with an employer, a personal 'working place' in the right area ('red light district'), an undefined circle of customers, it's just peachy fine. in the end, strippers prostitute themselves aswell. or is that just over here, that strippers find themselves prepared to shag their own 'audience'?

the_GoDdEsS
05-12-2006, 08:03 AM
The lie we're always fed as students is that having a college or grad-school degree is what leads to getting jobs, but that's not what it is at all. It's the social connections you make with powerful people IN those schools that leads to jobs, not the fuckin' degrees at all.

So, yeah, it's all so bleak, and it kills me.

Exactly. Especially the connections.

Endymion
05-12-2006, 08:41 AM
=/ the only jobs i've had are as a student researcher. a bit boring, pay's not that great considering how skilled the labor is, but the hours are nice etc.

JoY
05-12-2006, 08:54 AM
The lie we're always fed as students is that having a college or grad-school degree is what leads to getting jobs, but that's not what it is at all. It's the social connections you make with powerful people IN those schools that leads to jobs, not the fuckin' degrees at all.

So, yeah, it's all so bleak, and it kills me.
that's exactly what I'm afraid of. especially since it takes at least 10 years in my case to GET a fucking degree. & especially since I'm not exactly known for making 'friends' with teachers, professors & doctors. any authority for that matter. two years ago I made 'friends' with some docs & nurses, though, & lately a surgeon has been impressed (according to him) with my insights. but on the other hand, he calls me a chaotic, overly active, impatient student, who's always late & can't maintain any form of attention.

I'm doomed.

Izie
05-12-2006, 09:10 AM
Yeah, this is something that worries me very very much.

I am generally good at making contacts with professors though. We shall see.

Lars
05-12-2006, 09:14 AM
woo, I just contacted my agency about some holiday pay I was owed from my last job, 5 days pay coming into my account next week.

Other than that, a job they had (German speaking at Amazon) I can't have because of some stupid things to do with me having left last month. Not that I would want to do German CS stuff. I wouldn't want to do any customer service stuff there.

Isolated Fury
05-12-2006, 09:15 AM
I am generally good at making contacts with professors though. We shall see.
Random flashback to a porno with bad acting...

Sunny
05-12-2006, 09:16 AM
The lie we're always fed as students is that having a college or grad-school degree is what leads to getting jobs, but that's not what it is at all. It's the social connections you make with powerful people IN those schools that leads to jobs, not the fuckin' degrees at all.


ahah. yes. it's all about the connections and who you know and blahy blah.

Dave, lie on your resume. i'm serious.

JoY
05-12-2006, 09:17 AM
Random flashback to a porno with bad acting...
now I know what I'm doing wrong. thanks, buddy!

Izie
05-12-2006, 09:20 AM
Random flashback to a porno with bad acting...

Hey!

I act rather well, thankyouverymuch.

Isolated Fury
05-12-2006, 09:23 AM
"Oh, Dr. Hardram! What can I ever do to pass this semester?"

"SUX MY DICK, BITCH!"

Izie
05-12-2006, 09:24 AM
...oh my.

You don't want to know what flashback THAT caused. Thank you. Now i can be giggly all day.

Isolated Fury
05-12-2006, 09:35 AM
Yeah...Sexual moment involving me usually end in giggles :(

JohnnyNemesis
05-12-2006, 10:30 AM
that's exactly what I'm afraid of. especially since it takes at least 10 years in my case to GET a fucking degree. & especially since I'm not exactly known for making 'friends' with teachers, professors & doctors. any authority for that matter. two years ago I made 'friends' with some docs & nurses, though, & lately a surgeon has been impressed (according to him) with my insights. but on the other hand, he calls me a chaotic, overly active, impatient student, who's always late & can't maintain any form of attention.

I'm doomed.

I think the field you're in is an exception to the rule though!

JoY
05-12-2006, 10:51 AM
not really. there's a LOT of competition. a lot. of hard working, cold-hearted, intelligent, anti-social, rude, ambitious assholes, versus ambitious, caring, helpful, warm, social, weak-hearted pieces of shit. & then there's competition between those two groups, too.

The Talking Pie
05-12-2006, 10:53 AM
So I applied for the job of English Writer near me. This job was perfect for me. It's for a publishing company, and it involves proof-reading, preparing of documentation, that kind of jazz. The application said "high standard of English required, and knowledge of Microsoft Office. Previous experience helpful but not required."

I think, perfect! I have an A* in English and I've won all kinds of literary competitions. I can do English. And I have a B in Information Technology, and let's face it, anyone can do Office. So I send off an application, with high hopes.

I got a letter today saying they didn't even want to interview me because I have no previous office experience. Helpful but not required MY ASS.

There's nothing quite as demoralising as looking for a full time job in England. Everyone wants previous experience, but no one hires without experience. So I'm stuck working shitty hours in a shitty bar for shitty wages. Fuck off.
Dave, welcome to my world. And let me first say that I hate you for having a job, regardless of how crappy you think it is. I don't even have that much.

Teachers always said "don't get a job while you're in school, you'll mess up your exams". They were right. I came out with killer grades at GCSE and A-Level, and other people I know got poor grades. But now I'm twenty and no one wants to employ me because I have no past work experience (and if experience isn't an issue, then it's the kind of job they'd be employing sixteen year olds for, and let's face it, why pick me when you can pick them and pay them less? It's what I'd do). The other people I know, on the other hand, who completely fucked up their exams with work and have no qualifications at all, well, they've all been merrily in work the last few years.

So, what am I saying? I guess I'm saying that at least you can always look down upon me and know you're not quite that pathetic.

HornyPope
05-12-2006, 11:31 AM
All you need is a year or two of experience. Apply in a shitty place that -will- take you despite the lack of experience. Work there for a time. Consider it a stage. Then apply to a more prestigious place and see if they hire you.

That's how it works.

TheUnholyNightbringer
05-12-2006, 12:01 PM
I know that's how it works. This was about the most prestigious job I've gone for. The rest were basic data input and all that. They don't want me either.

Corpse
05-12-2006, 12:41 PM
It is very difficult to get a full time job. But getting Work Experience at an Accountancy place is damn near impossible for me to do.

The Talking Pie
05-12-2006, 12:48 PM
All you need is a year or two of experience. Apply in a shitty place that -will- take you despite the lack of experience. Work there for a time. Consider it a stage. Then apply to a more prestigious place and see if they hire you.

That's how it works.
If only it was that simple, I'd be laughing my head off right now. Nowhere, above, below or on par with me will even write back to say "fuck off, we don't want you". I'd say that I should have gotten a job in a supermarket when I was fifteen, but when I did try to do that I got no further than I am now. Perhaps I just have a chronic case of bad luck?

Betty
05-12-2006, 01:07 PM
No experience with Office? Who the hell is doing the hiring? Fuck, give me any standard software program and I'll figure it out in a day. Anyone with half a brain can do that. It's only old computer illiterate people that actually think familiarity with basic software is an issue. Nowadays, youth live on the computer. But yeah, in that case you probably should have lied. I generally don't endorse it, but in retrospect it woulda made sense.

And regarding the experience thing, here's the thing. Everywhere says they want people with experience, but there are tons of job seekers without experience so they are bound to hire some. I mean, if all jobs want experience, and only 50% of potential employees have experience, there are gonna be another unexperienced 50% hired. So don't discourage. Connections ARE important. But if you are skilled, you'll find a job somewhere. The thing is you have to apply to LOTS of places sometimes. And you may have to take a semi-shitty job as a stepping stone. And just keep applying in the meanwhile. Apply, apply, apply. And try and find a field that actually has demand.

You know what's funny? I've never had trouble finding a job, but I have had SO much trouble finding volunteering jobs. Seriously, I have had more lengthy and time consuming application processes for unpaid volunteering jobs than I ever did for real jobs. What is up with that? I applied for this job where you lead study groups for students in Chemistry. I was fucking by far the best student in my program in my year and didn't get the job. I'm still bitter about that.

HornyPope
05-12-2006, 01:27 PM
There are plenty of companies around here that will provide you the training and offer you the oppertunity to gain experience. The catch is they also pay 3-4$ less than what the experience-required jobs do.

Case in my point, I worked in telemarketing and survey companies throughout high school and college. Not including the time off jobs, I gained me around 2+ years of experience. Now I fit the criteria of any serious customer service job. How? Because of the shit jobs I settled for when I was 18 and 19. (not like i actually want to work in customer service though... but just sayin')

As for "contacts", the word is grossly exagerated. All you need is a healthy social network. I know maybe twenty people around me that hold jobs. These aren't "close friends" for most part, but they will gladly spare me the fifteen minutes to tell me whether their employer is hiring, what's the criteria and if he could put a good word in for me.

Sin Studly
05-12-2006, 01:53 PM
I'm self-employed right now, and loving it. Ha ha, y'all have bosses.

Rinoa
05-12-2006, 03:47 PM
Only piece of advice I can offer is go for an apprenticeship somewhere. You don't need any previous experience as they'll give you the training and experience needed for that job.

Worked for me.

Linda
05-12-2006, 05:00 PM
What are you....a drug dealer?

Sin Studly
05-13-2006, 02:00 AM
I'm an independent contractor.

TheUnholyNightbringer
05-13-2006, 05:54 AM
What are you....a drug dealer?

OMG OMG HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO YOU AND YOU JUST CAME IN AND INSULTED HIM :mad: :mad: :mad:

Hypocrite.

Kerr
05-13-2006, 06:12 AM
I currently work at McDonald's - I am 17 (18 this year) and going to University after the summer holidays. As much as I fucking hate this job, by the looks of responses in this thread, it's a good job I have one at all. I haven't been working for long (only since December of last year) but I will apply for a transfer to a chain in Birmingham, so I will still technically be working for longer I guess (only the odd shift during my course though, full time during the summer holidays between the years of my course).

Hard luck on you application, but I guess the replies are right here - it's worth taking or keeping a shitty job as a "stepping stone". To think I was gonna quit because working at McD's is soooo shit.... (though I guess I am gonna need to save the money too for uni as well).

Sunny
05-13-2006, 07:46 AM
What does an independent contractor do, anyway?

Self employment isn't all that, from my experience; i hate not having a steady income. i'm excited for when i graduate and can get a job with an actual company.

JohnnyNemesis
05-13-2006, 07:58 AM
What are you....a drug dealer?

Hypocrite .

TheHulaChick
05-13-2006, 08:14 AM
Atm I'm really stuck, I have loads of experience in teaching gym stuff, it's fun work with ok pay, but there's very few companies for that here. I was employed, but had disagreements with people I worked with. So atm I'm on a "break".

The only other jobs I've had were bartending jobs. I didn't mind it but my hearing is so crap it's near impossible for me to understand customers, and after a couple shifts I didn't get called back.

I really really wanna try retail, in a quieter store where my hearing won't be an issue. But no experience, to old for junior training, bla. I've never even been called back for an interview.

I think I should just go back to teaching, stop being stubborn and suck up to the right people, but I'm worried the same thing'll happen over again. And I'd really like to gain skills outta that field so I have options.

Linda
05-14-2006, 04:11 PM
I'm an independent contractor.

So that's what they call them these days?!

Dude, you really need to see a dentist! :p

Linda
05-14-2006, 04:12 PM
Hypocrite .

Well, guess I'm in good company then! ;)

Sin Studly
05-15-2006, 02:24 PM
What does an independent contractor do, anyway?

Things that are slightly more legal than selling drugs, and infinitely more morally bankrupt.

BREAK
05-15-2006, 06:08 PM
What does an independent contractor do, anyway?


Deliver packages for FedEx.

Sin Studly
05-16-2006, 01:44 AM
Pfft, I hustle on the streetz and bring in mad cash.

HisHolinessSatan
05-16-2006, 05:57 AM
Pfft, I hustle on the streetz and bring in mad cash.

Then why are you on the forums...? Go spend!

Andy
05-16-2006, 06:09 AM
He's keeping it real. Fo' Sho'.

The Talking Pie
05-16-2006, 08:29 AM
I start a thirteen-week course on Monday in retail. Fun. It's supposed to help me into work, but it's during work hours, so places I'd normally look for work will kind of ever-so-slightly be shut when I'm not there. I wish people would think things through.

wheelchairman
05-16-2006, 10:27 AM
So it's official. I'm a Mailman.

All you unemployed motherfuckers can consider yourselves pwn3d.

Sunny
05-16-2006, 10:35 AM
bah. i hate not having a job. pewpewpew. ;z

Rinoa
05-16-2006, 11:46 AM
If only our Royal Mail were that enthusiastic...

Endymion
05-16-2006, 12:18 PM
per == win

Sin Studly
05-16-2006, 01:47 PM
Naaah, I get paid to hang around the streets all day chatting up chicks and making old grannies feel guilty. Marketing is pwnz.

JohnnyNemesis
05-16-2006, 02:00 PM
Mailmanship is not a profession, it's a vocation, the dedication of a lifetime.

You wake up early in the morning, with an eager blaze in your eyes, pride pounding in your chest. You're ready to serve society, yet today. Putting on your nice crisply-ironed uniform, you give your hair the last gentle brush on the side, & hop on your bike to go to the post-office, where sweet-smelling neatly-piled stacks of letters & packages await you.

You stroll swaying gently past rows of terraced houses, where you see the odd housewife smiling at you & waving her hand, while stray dogs follow you, with a merry bark.

And when you go home, it is with sweat on your brow, sweat that bespeaks a noble work accomplished with a sense of duty.

Seriously, what the fuck?!

Sin Studly
05-16-2006, 02:12 PM
Marketing is awesome. I spend all day hustling the streets, dodging the cops and council, chatting up chickies, manipulating people into giving me money. Two guys got busted on monday. It's a fucking rush. It's everything I could hope for in a job. And the pay is insanely good.

Sunny
05-16-2006, 02:19 PM
maria made me rofl.

and speaking of positioning, assuming we're talking about the same thing, i had to test a positioning statement in a focus group the other day. blehy bleh.

Nina
05-17-2006, 02:29 AM
I haaattee any marketing job. I dont have a *lot* of experience, but almost all the experience I have is based on marketing :[

I never had a problem finding a job. And none of my friends ever had problems, either. It irritates me when people in Germany complain about unemployment. I have hardly any experience and I got accepted in various jobs, only did two of them though.

My bf works at McDonalds now, hahahahaha. awesome. He works twice a week and gets 400 all in all. kickass.

wheelchairman
05-17-2006, 02:57 AM
I think the unemployment is worse in Eastern Germany. But I don't know.

Marketing is definite pwnage. I read the entire book 2 weekends ago, and now I can feel like I can handle anything.

All About Eve
05-17-2006, 05:02 AM
I get to sit out in the glaring sun for hours and move my head back and forth to make sure people don't die (lifeguard) this summer. Oh yeah, it's gonna be great.

BREAK
05-17-2006, 09:12 AM
My job ain't a job, it's a damn good time.

Tired_Of_You
05-17-2006, 09:21 AM
My job consists of cutting the meat for retards. There are also those disgusting salads that I have to serve and prepare and I also have to prepare the fries, chicken, etc to people. I'm also a cashier at the same time. I have to clean up everything (my favorite part...). I only have the minimum wage. Aaarrrgghh... Oh and I have to do more than that, I just named the things I do most of the time.

wheelchairman
05-17-2006, 09:38 AM
What's your wage?

I get paid about 20 bucks an hour. Again, consider yourselves pwn3d people. Plus vacation money that I'll be getting. Huzzah!

Tired_Of_You
05-17-2006, 09:42 AM
7,75$/hour. h8 u. :(

JohnnyNemesis
05-17-2006, 09:52 AM
Pfft. At my first job I was hired as a supermarket cashier, but ended up cleaning, leveling, being a part-time stock boy, and all sorts of ridiculous shit.

My hourly pay?

$5.15/hr.

HornyPope
05-17-2006, 10:27 AM
I never had a problem finding a job. And none of my friends ever had problems, either. It irritates me when people in Germany complain about unemployment. I have hardly any experience and I got accepted in various jobs, only did two of them though.

Because unemployement doesn't mean a lack of jobs all together. It means people can't find work in the fields they're looking for, the fields they're specialized in.

Sunny
05-17-2006, 10:43 AM
i think i'm gonna apply for a job at biscuits&bath this summer (yes, its a doggy daycare, stfu). you get to hang out with furballs and get paid $10 per hour =/. oh, and walk them and scoop up dog shit.

woot?