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Jack the Tripper
05-25-2006, 02:24 PM
I re-made the list so it's accurate now. But I'm not gonna bother posting it because it's not like any of you city slickers have a sense of humor.

100 Worst Pick-Up Lines Ever
(100-50)

100)GOOD LORD!

99)And I thought I had an erection before...

98)God must've spent a little more time on you.

97)I practiced on your sister

96)I don't have any money or a job, but I'm in a band.

95)Why don't you say yes for a change?

94)How'd you get through security? 'Cause you're da bomb.

93)You have a hot skeletal structure baby, you're an echomorph no doubt

92)Stop, drop, and roll 'cause you're on fire

91)Please.... please... please... please... I'm just gonna keep asking... please... please... please...

90)I think I seen you on the cover of Playboy.

89)I wish I was cross-eyed so I could see you twice.

88)My mommy won't be home for hours.

87)I think I seen a picture of you in the dictionary under "KaBlaaM!"

86)I bet your outfit makes a lot of noise in the drier

85)I fell into a puddle of love and got you all over me.

84)Wanna smell my fingers?

83)I like your sleeves. They're really big, just like your ass.

82)You have ginormous boobies.

81)I was gonna fuck your dog, but it ran away. I guess you'll have to do.

80)I never had an erection until I seen you.

79)I love every bone in your body. Let's put in another one.

78)My balls taste like candy.

77)I got a lot of money. Won't you be my dirrty girl?

76)Look at what being without made me think of!... See, I just thought of another really stupid line to put on the list.

75)Your body is a wonderland.

74)You're not as hot as your sister, but I like you more for some reason.

73)You're eyes are browner than the water in my toilet

72)You remind me of my jeep.

71)Ice ice baby.

70)Do you think my tractor's sexy?

69)Hey hey good lookin'. What'cha got cookin'? How 'bout cookin' something up with me?

68)Pants are a vestigal organ and you look infected.

67)Get out of my life and into my bed.

66)Bond. James Bond.

65)That dress would look good on the floor next to my bed.

64)I'm a man and I think you're a woman, so let's wang chung tonight.

63)I love you, you love me. We're a happy family.

62)You have 206 bones in your body. Want another one?

61)I love you more than my mom.

60)I lost my verginity. Mind if I take yours?

59)You're so ugly, I'm the only person you'll be able to get it on with.

58)I'm not good at pick-up lines. Just screw me dammit!

57)My neck, my back. Lick my pussy and my crack.

56)I wanna sex you up.

55)Get naked, bitch!

54)Let's get physical.

53)Fuck me.

52)You'd be perfect for Chuck Norris.

51)Can I buy you a drink or do you just want my money?

Jack the Tripper
05-25-2006, 02:26 PM
(50-1)
50)I think I dropped my wallet in your pants. Can I check?

49)Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in bed.

48)You're absolutely pefect. Don't talk or you might spoil it.

47)I'd like to take you home now so you can meet my mom.

46)I don't have a library card, but I'm checking you out.

45)You'd look like Venus de Milo if I just cut off your arms.

44)I bet you're magically delicous like a bowl of lucky charms.

43)You're sexier than my cousins!

42)So, do you like fat guys with no money?

41)Now I know where your daughter gets her hottness from.

40)How much will a dollar get me?

39)You're invited to a party in my pants.

38)Screw me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Ijogefijigobdem?

37)I'm no Fred Flinstone, but I can make your bed rock.

36)You turn my software into hardware.

35)Did it hurt? (pause so she can ask you what the hell you're talking about) When you fell from heaven?

34)You look like an angel who just fell from heaven and smacked her face on the pavement.

33)There must be an angel missing from heaven because... oh the hell with it, let's just have sex tonight so I can leave tomorrow.

32)I lost my teddy bear. Can I sleep with you instead?

31)Abradacabra. I wanna reach out and grab ya.

30)Well... it's not gonna suck itself.

29)You're hotter than my daughter.

28)You should have sex with me because no one else likes you.

27)You're so hot I'd eat your snot.

26)Kiss me, I'm Irish.

25)I've been thinking about you so much I forgot to go to the bathroom when I had to take a piss.

24)Are you gonna have sex with me or am I just gonna have to have sex with myself again?

23)You must be Jamaican because Jamaican me crazy.

22)Your pants are so clean I can see myself in them.

21)Nice legs. What time do they open?

20)You look like you need something to suck on.

19)I'm a fan of 50 Cent.

18)What are you gonna do with all that junk? All that junk inside that trunk?

17)What are you gonna do with all that breast? All that breast inside that shirt?

16)What are you gonna do with all that ass? All that ass inside them jeans?

15)Let's mix your milk with my cocoa puff. Milky wilky cocoa puff.

14)I'll take you to the candy shop... I'll let you lick a lolly pop... you can have a gumball too.

13)I bet you can't give better head than your sister.

12)Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

11)You're so hot you're gonna melt the elastic in my underwear.

10)Let me explore your long, dark tunnel.

9)I'll give you a nickle if you suck my pickle.

8)Hey sis!

7)I wish you were a car door so I could slam you all day

6)Let's get drunk and be somebody

5)So, how do you like third grade?

4)I crapped my pants. Can I get in yours?

3)I'd have sex with you if you were me.

2)Fuck me or I'll fuck you up.

1)All day I jackoff to a picture of you I found on the internet while I was stalking you.

XYlophonetreeZ
05-25-2006, 02:30 PM
Chug ipecac, 'tard.

Not Ozymandias
05-25-2006, 02:45 PM
Chug ipecac, 'tard.
No, don't say that, if you make him mad he might make an imposter account of you!! OH THE HUGE MANATEE!!1 :eek:

Jack the Tripper
05-25-2006, 02:48 PM
I don't need comments from useless morons with no lives. I just want to see what Sin Studly says about this thread.

XYlophonetreeZ
05-25-2006, 02:53 PM
Hahaha, obsessmuch?

Also, you're an idiot.


No, don't say that, if you make him mad he might make an imposter account of you!! OH THE HUGE MANATEE!!1 :eek:OH NOEZ! How can I save myself the embarrassment of having a member named "XYlophonetreeZ iz a fag!" posting freely?

Jack the Tripper
05-25-2006, 02:53 PM
ooo, that hurt:rolleyes: . Think of something else to say.

BIG Nicky
05-25-2006, 02:58 PM
You forgot "Nice hair". :D

Sin Studly
05-25-2006, 03:04 PM
I don't need comments from useless morons with no lives.

And I didn't need 30+ imposter accounts made by the same useless moron with no life.

the_GoDdEsS
05-25-2006, 03:07 PM
Tripper, you're a moron.

MindlessSelfIndulgent
05-25-2006, 03:11 PM
Kiss me bitch, I have to puke anyways.
It sounds way better in danish though. Kys mig kælling, jeg skal brække mig alligevel. <3

JohnnyNemesis
05-25-2006, 03:24 PM
Think of something else to say.

I've got something brand new for you:

Stop crying.

wheelchairman
05-25-2006, 03:46 PM
Kiss me bitch, I have to puke anyways.
It sounds way better in danish though. Kys mig kælling, jeg skal brække mig alligevel. <3
*I'm gonna puke anyways. Would make more sense. But that is good.

And does anyone know if Jack the tripper dain'ed this?

p.s. I have a book of pick up lines in 6 languages. I'm like some kind of international sex pimp man.

All About Eve
05-25-2006, 03:49 PM
As if a different language would help Jack.

0r4ng3
05-25-2006, 03:50 PM
It would be worse if he didn't dain the list. That means he's tried every single one, and failed.

Jakebert
05-25-2006, 04:07 PM
How the hell can you honestly tell me you think those are funny?

DeAtHsTaR
05-25-2006, 04:13 PM
It would be worse if he didn't dain the list. That means he's tried every single one, and failed.
Wouldn't daining the list mean he stole it from somewhere else though? He obviously did, but about the trying every one thing....

JohnnyNemesis
05-25-2006, 04:15 PM
Wouldn't daining the list mean he stole it from somewhere else though? He obviously did, but about the trying every one thing....

What he's saying is that if he didn't steal the list, he would likely have tried them in real life. He's not saying that stealing the list is the same as trying all of them.

I find it funny that he's Asian and I'm Latino, and we're communicating in English in a way you failed to grasp. That's slightly humorous considering all the racist shit you said about "beaners" a few months ago.

Yeah, only slightly.

DeAtHsTaR
05-25-2006, 04:18 PM
I find it funny that he's Asian and I'm Latino, and we're communicating in English in a way you failed to grasp. That's slightly humorous considering all the racist shit you said about "beaners" a few months ago.

Yeah, only slightly.
First of all, Asians are most often very smart people. Second of all, I said "Mexicans" and "Illegal Aliens", not "Beaners."

TheUnholyNightbringer
05-25-2006, 04:19 PM
Most Asians are indeed smart people. And you, uh, couldn't understand what he was saying.

JohnnyNemesis
05-25-2006, 04:24 PM
First of all, Asians are most often very smart people.

You're an idiot (in other words, read what Dave said)


Second of all, I said "Mexicans" and "Illegal Aliens", not "Beaners."

You said a lot more than that, scumbucket.

DeAtHsTaR
05-25-2006, 04:27 PM
You're an idiot (in other words, read what Dave said)



You said a lot more than that, scumbucket.
Show me one instant where I said "beaner" that wasn't clearly meant as a joke.

TheUnholyNightbringer
05-25-2006, 04:28 PM
Dain, seriously, can you read?

JohnnyNemesis
05-25-2006, 04:28 PM
I never differentiated between jokes and seriousness. Don't even sneak that one in.

But, if you like, we can drop this now. I'll even say you pwned me and that I don't know what a pwn is or whatever else it is that makes you cream your panties. Take it while you can!

wheelchairman
05-25-2006, 04:30 PM
Oh man, I wish I had an inside joke. Just one.

I also love how dain is a living inside joke.

JohnnyNemesis
05-25-2006, 04:31 PM
I also love how dain is a living inside joke.

The ironing is delicious, isn't it?

(a million points to anyone who caught that reference)

DeAtHsTaR
05-25-2006, 04:38 PM
Dain, seriously, can you read?
Nope. I can't even read what you just typed.

DeAtHsTaR
05-25-2006, 04:38 PM
The ironing is delicious, isn't it?

(a million points to anyone who caught that reference)
The Simpsons, duh.

JohnnyNemesis
05-25-2006, 04:39 PM
I would have said "duh" too, but you have no idea how many people have no idea where that one comes from.

All About Eve
05-25-2006, 04:39 PM
Dain's a beaner.

0r4ng3
05-25-2006, 04:40 PM
I would have said "duh" too, but you have no idea how many people have no idea where that one comes from.
I didn't know where it came from. Then again, I don't watch The Simpsons much. It's just unpossible for me.

DeAtHsTaR
05-25-2006, 04:43 PM
Dain's a beaner.

Close enough...

Sin Studly
05-26-2006, 03:12 AM
First of all, Asians are most often very smart people.

Which explains the economies of non-Japanese gook countries, right?

DeAtHsTaR
05-26-2006, 10:12 AM
Which explains the economies of non-Japanese gook countries, right?
Ha, all the Asians I know are really good at math and basically every other sector of academics, and most of them are from Taiwan or something.

wheelchairman
05-26-2006, 10:23 AM
Sometimes Dain, I just don't get how you can be so retarded.

DeAtHsTaR
05-26-2006, 10:26 AM
Sometimes Dain, I just don't get how you can be so retarded.
So you're denying that Asians are smart?

Stereotypes are there for a reason; they're not always true, but in most cases, they're the exact truth.

Sin Studly
05-26-2006, 10:45 AM
Ha, all the Asians I know are really good at math and basically every other sector of academics.

Really? Well if personal experience outweighs the GDP of almost all asian countries in this matter, it just so happens that all the asians I know are viscious bladehappy heroin-dealing scum, or drunken violent gambling-addicted filipinos.

Radi0_havana52
05-26-2006, 10:49 AM
Romanian chicks kick ass

wheelchairman
05-26-2006, 10:49 AM
Stereotypes are there for a reason; they're not always true, but in most cases, they're the exact truth.
Bolded for hilarity.

DeAtHsTaR
05-26-2006, 10:57 AM
Bolded for hilarity.
Sure, only read that part. I said in most cases. How do you think they come about?

The fact is that most Asians (around here at least) have very high IQs.

Sin Studly
05-26-2006, 11:06 AM
The fact is that most asians in the west are pressured to perform well in school, because otherwise their family shames them into committing suicide. How does that make them more intelligent? It just makes them slanteyes with a totally fucked-up morbid culture, who study harder than white folk.

Oh, and you're a fucking idiot.

wheelchairman
05-26-2006, 11:12 AM
Sure, only read that part. I said in most cases. How do you think they come about?


People who don't like a certain group of people, and don't know very much about them start grouping percieved similar traits as object truths and go on rants about this.

Stereotypes are retarded.

DeAtHsTaR
05-26-2006, 11:15 AM
People who don't like a certain group of people, and don't know very much about them start grouping percieved similar traits as object truths and go on rants about this.

How the hell is being smart a bad thing? Just like A lot of blacks are great athletes, there's nothing wrong with it. Mexicans can work really hard.

Damn guys, you need to watch some Carlos Mencia. That guy knows what's up. He sees things from a neutral point of view for EVERY race.

Sin Studly
05-26-2006, 11:15 AM
No, stereotypes are quite useful, as long as you don't mistake them for cement.

Sin Studly
05-26-2006, 11:15 AM
Hpw the hell is being smart a bad thing? Just like A lot of blacks are great athletes, there's nothing wrong with it. Mexicans can work really hard.

Damn guys, you need to watch some Carlos Mencia. That guy knows what's up. He sees things from a neutral point of view for EVERY race.

HOW CAN YOU BE THIS FUCKING STUPID?

Seriously, wtf?

wheelchairman
05-26-2006, 11:23 AM
I can't believe someone told me that Carlos Mencia was wise. I'm in fucking bizarro world!

JohnnyNemesis
05-26-2006, 01:18 PM
Damn guys, you need to watch some Carlos Mencia. That guy knows what's up. He sees things from a neutral point of view for EVERY race.


Holy godDAMN. Seriously, notice that we're all leaving the realm of insults. We're not even insulting you anymore, we just honest to goodness can't believe how fucking stupid you are.

How...how is someone as stupid as you even literate?


Damn guys, you need to watch some Carlos Mencia. That guy knows what's up. He sees things from a neutral point of view for EVERY race.

Oh god, I still can't fucking believe how stupid you are.

....FUCK

Paint_It_Black
05-26-2006, 05:06 PM
Damn guys, you need to watch some Carlos Mencia. That guy knows what's up. He sees things from a neutral point of view for EVERY race.

This is fascinating. I've often wondered exactly how retarded someone would need to be in order to watch Carlos Mencia. I should have known the answer is "Dain".

JohnnyNemesis
05-26-2006, 05:22 PM
Yeah, this is practically begging for a repost:

http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i146/effinyankee/20060408.jpg

wheelchairman
05-26-2006, 05:29 PM
I'm still shocked that there is someone who actually likes Carlos Mencia.

JohnnyNemesis
05-26-2006, 05:30 PM
ruroken loves him.

wheelchairman
05-26-2006, 05:31 PM
I'm no longer shocked.

Sin Studly
05-26-2006, 10:18 PM
See, the sad thing is, there are insanely funny racist jokes. They're out there. The kind where you gasp and don't know whether to stare blankly in shock or burst into uproarious laughter. The kind that pretty Jewess babe tells, those are good ones. Pointing out that gooks like maths and spics like tacos is just..... well, retarded.

Oh, and why can't Jews be Santa Claus?

Santa Claus goes down chimneys.

JohnnyNemesis
05-26-2006, 10:28 PM
Oh, and why can't Jews be Santa Claus?

Santa Claus goes down chimneys.

...


The kind where you gasp and don't know whether to stare blankly in shock or burst into uproarious laughter.

Both, but eventually the latter. Oh my fuck.

Vera
05-31-2006, 12:01 AM
Fucking priceless. So glad I saw it in Richard's signature.

Carlos Mencia - the guy who knows what's up.

Hahahahahahahahahahah!!

Paint_It_Black
05-31-2006, 02:52 AM
Always glad to be of service.

JoY
05-31-2006, 03:13 AM
90)I think I seen you on the cover of Playboy.

someone used that one on a chick I know. & she just stared back at him & said, "so? I've also been on the cover of the Penthouse". he wasn't serious, for the record, but yeah, it's true. she's been on both covers.

nieh
06-01-2006, 08:17 AM
someone used that one on a chick I know. & she just stared back at him & said, "so? I've also been on the cover of the Penthouse". he wasn't serious, for the record, but yeah, it's true. she's been on both covers.

I think you should invite that friend here.

This topic = lolz. Carlos Mencia knows what's up.

JoY
06-01-2006, 08:24 AM
she's not my friend. I dislike her, something about her ticks me off majorly. maybe it's her make up overdose & her brainless appearance. she studies medicine, though, so she really can't be that dumb.

besides, she's got ugly tits. at first you think God has blessed her with great funbags, but when you actually look at them, the nipples are placed so high, that they almost look drawn, or just randomly placed. "nipple, right, let's put it here." it makes her boobs look like half empty bags with the content in the bottom. real weird.

Andy
06-01-2006, 08:26 AM
We'll need a picture.

JoY
06-01-2006, 08:27 AM
I'll look for one. my roommate had those editions, but I don't live there anymore.

at least I've found in which one she appeared.

http://www.webads.nl/legacy/demosites/playboy_bestanden/MA_cover03_170x198.jpg http://www.playboy.nl/images/winkel/covers_267.jpg

nieh
06-01-2006, 08:50 AM
I think we'll need pictures of more "normal" breasts to compare them to. That way can see just how ugly they actually are.

0r4ng3
06-01-2006, 01:55 PM
Does anyone else think that the phrase "nu in de winkel" (in the pic) is freakin' hilarious?

I'm pretty sure it's not that funny, but I don't know what it means.

the_GoDdEsS
06-01-2006, 01:57 PM
New/Now in the angle? I'd guess.

wheelchairman
06-01-2006, 02:00 PM
Which would probably translate as Current, or Taking a Look at:

Tizzalicious
06-01-2006, 02:02 PM
"now in the shop"...in other words: "in stores now".

the_GoDdEsS
06-01-2006, 02:03 PM
Winkel is shop?? Kidding me? It's angle in German...

0r4ng3
06-01-2006, 02:03 PM
Yeah, I figured. It sounded much funnier when I didn't know what it meant.

Tizzalicious
06-01-2006, 02:05 PM
Winkel is shop?? Kidding me? It's angle in German...

Shop > Angle

Dutch > German

HeadAroundU
06-01-2006, 02:17 PM
I thought it was: "piemel in the kont".

TheUnholyNightbringer
06-01-2006, 05:04 PM
She looks fuckin' terrifying.

JoY
06-02-2006, 07:09 AM
exactly my point. yugh.