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wheelchairman
05-26-2006, 12:23 PM
Friends, Posters, Countrymen, lend me your ear!

Masturbation is indeed the gateway drug to rape. Did you know that 100% of all rapists started their sexual misconduct career, by early masturbation. This is true. Think about it, you may just be getting your jollies off right now, but it is a slippery slope. Right now you are doing the voluntary waste of your seed. Next you will be voluntarily wasting your seed in the involuntary hole of some poor woman (or in YOUR case, some poor boy.)
http://www.geocities.com/barbgurl/man-she.jpg
Attractive right? This pretty little lady has a penis too. Still turned on?

The next time a re-run of VIP comes on, please just zip it up! Your actions are wrong. Your perversions are misplaced. Let me hit you with some knowledge, masturbating makes you complacent. You think you can do some pre-homework masturbation, well tell that to yourself after you are sleeping complacently after orgasm.

Masturbaters are lonely anti-social people. They don't fit in society, and probably don't fit very well in women. Which is why they resort to masturbating. Here's some more knowledge, if you are in high school, and can't get laid. You will die a virgin. Yes you will die a virgin. Be ashamed, your sexuality is disgusting and wrong. What would your mom say? Do you have no self-control?
http://www.english.ufl.edu/bwwc/images/headshot_schaffer.jpg
No penis can survive a British woman for more than a few seconds. Fact!

So the next time you get the urge to masturbate, I recommend typing "British women" into a google image search. You will notice that even the sturdiest of morning glories, will shrivel into nothingness upon viewing British Women. British Women are the cure!

ofsmurfsandpixies
05-26-2006, 01:23 PM
HA!!! genius...but im english + my gf is sooo hot

killer_queen
05-26-2006, 02:45 PM
lol, my girlfriend is hot too. You know, girlfriend. We have sex.

ofsmurfsandpixies
05-26-2006, 03:12 PM
your point being? with condoms im set now hehe-truly this is a great time

Preocupado
05-26-2006, 03:15 PM
hallelujah brothers!

Ps: ofsmurfs, please think of the kittens.

ofsmurfsandpixies
05-26-2006, 03:27 PM
ill try...but im just making them more resilient for when they recieve the shock, as the prophet homer simpson once said 'better they hear it from me now than from their parents when theyre old enough'

wheelchairman
05-26-2006, 04:42 PM
So smurfs, do you use condom or the pill?

And honestly I actually thought you were from a non-English speaking country. Now that I know you are British, I'm fuckin' stunned. Your illiteracy is just shocking and bizarre. I mean fuck...

Paint_It_Black
05-26-2006, 04:50 PM
And honestly I actually thought you were from a non-English speaking country. Now that I know you are British, I'm fuckin' stunned. Your illiteracy is just shocking and bizarre. I mean fuck...

That is EXACTLY what I was just thinking. Holy shit.

ofsmurfsandpixies
05-26-2006, 04:53 PM
its the internet-i dont have to write the way i do in school-which i still currently attend.

Would you prefer that I write standard english?

wheelchairman
05-26-2006, 04:58 PM
No, ANY English would do.

JohnnyNemesis
05-26-2006, 05:19 PM
No, ANY English would do.

HA! Oh fuck, Per. I wish you were my brother.

the_GoDdEsS
05-26-2006, 06:50 PM
Bahaha. Excellent.

All About Eve
05-26-2006, 07:56 PM
Per wins this thread.

coke_a_holic
05-26-2006, 08:55 PM
Per wins life.

HeadAroundU
05-26-2006, 09:53 PM
That attractive girl looks like Megs!

Sin Studly
05-26-2006, 10:14 PM
I might be in the minority here, but I immediately assumed ofsmurfsandpixies was British.


Attractive right? This pretty little lady has a penis too. Still turned on?

Even more so.

Ninty Man
05-26-2006, 11:10 PM
I might be in the minority here, but I immediately assumed ofsmurfsandpixies was British.



Even more so.


Best post ever

XD

Well... I must think on kittens...

http://spaces.msn.com/nintyman/PersonalSpace.aspx?_c11_PhotoAlbum_spaHandler=TWlj cm9zb2Z0LlNwYWNlcy5XZWIuUGFydHMuUGhvdG9BbGJ1bS5GdW xsTW9kZUNvbnRyb2xsZXI%24&_c11_PhotoAlbum_spaFolderID=cns!BC4EF919576F5131!4 19&_c=PhotoAlbum&_c02_owner=1

XYlophonetreeZ
05-27-2006, 12:04 AM
Well... I must think on kittens...

WTF????????

...

How much does you pile of kittens weight?

Ninty Man
05-27-2006, 12:20 AM
WTF????????

...

How much does you pile of kittens weight?


As much as you :cool:

the_GoDdEsS
05-27-2006, 12:36 AM
Why do you feel the need to reply to every topic with your brainless posts?

JoY
05-28-2006, 04:22 AM
Per wins this thread.
he'd better, it's his own thread. & I like it!

*laughs*

I am SO happy that ofsmurfsandpixies was willing to demonstrate everything we ridicule on this board in only a few posts.

ofsmurfsandpixies
05-28-2006, 05:39 AM
my pleasure

Endymion
05-28-2006, 10:50 AM
does she really have a cock?

JoY
05-28-2006, 11:26 AM
what I was thinking. man, that'd be disappointing. :(

wheelchairman
05-28-2006, 11:38 AM
According to a google search, yes full front penisity.

JohnnyNemesis
05-28-2006, 11:40 AM
Chicks with dicks ftfw!

wheelchairman
05-28-2006, 11:49 AM
Chicks with dicks ftfw!
For the fun win?

0r4ng3
05-28-2006, 12:00 PM
For the fallic win!

Wait, is that spelled right?

Sin Studly
05-28-2006, 12:01 PM
According to a google search, yes full front penisity.

How big? I'd be grossed the fuck out of it was one of those tiny freakshow dicks.

Andy
05-28-2006, 12:06 PM
For the fallic win!

Wait, is that spelled right?
phallic, but we know what you mean.

the_GoDdEsS
05-28-2006, 12:08 PM
I'd like to see that.

Sin Studly
05-28-2006, 12:14 PM
Sim, threesome?

the_GoDdEsS
05-28-2006, 12:26 PM
What if it decided to make you the girl? :P

wheelchairman
05-28-2006, 12:37 PM
You never see the penis, she's just accused of having one.
Scroll down. http://www.geocities.com/barbgurl/120602.html

Also the guy who wrote this is a loser haha

Llamas
05-28-2006, 03:57 PM
this thread is great. really makes you think about the most important things in life :p

Ninty Man
05-29-2006, 08:27 PM
this thread is great. really makes you think about the most important things in life :p


Like grapes? :eek:

Llamas
05-29-2006, 09:41 PM
no... like whether a hot girl has a penis or not... and how big it is.... :p

melkumel
06-08-2006, 09:21 AM
Now I know. If I break up with my girlfriend and I find a new one, the first thing I'll do, is make sure if she is female. If not and I'm drunk, who knows :D

SkunkIt
06-08-2006, 11:46 AM
You lie! This is hot:

http://www.cbc.ca/gfx/pix/dingwall-alma-060419.jpg

melkumel
06-08-2006, 12:19 PM
Yep that's real hot. Looks kinda like my old girlfriend. I guess she dyed her hair, she used to be a brunette.

noodlesfan
06-09-2006, 07:35 AM
Attractive right? This pretty little lady has a penis too. Still turned on?

only if she plans on using that penis

melkumel
06-09-2006, 10:33 AM
only if she plans on using that penis
You are disgusting. But so am I. So ha-ha :D

Emily_offspring_fan
06-10-2006, 11:09 AM
only if she plans on using that penis
hahahahaha, i can only laugh at that

JoY
06-10-2006, 11:16 AM
in that case you have a poor sense of humour.

Dmitri
06-29-2006, 10:56 PM
dammit!!!.... the most phylosophically deep threads!!!.... why a chick with dick should use it??? dammit.... the question the humanity needs to solve...
hahaha.... just jerking guys... i mean..... joking... :D :D :D :eek:

noodlesfan
06-29-2006, 11:03 PM
dammit!!!.... the most phylosophically deep threads!!!.... why a chick with dick should use it??? dammit.... the question the humanity needs to solve...
hahaha.... just jerking guys... i mean..... joking... :D :D :D :eek:
someone needs some sedatives!

Ninty Man
07-05-2006, 08:38 PM
someone needs some sedatives!


You need a lobotomy

noodlesfan
07-05-2006, 09:00 PM
You need a lobotomy
You need to discover the magical taste of Draino.

That_Guy91
07-05-2006, 09:06 PM
Both of you, stop trying to pwn people. You're both horrible at it.

Jakebert
07-05-2006, 09:16 PM
Both of you, stop trying to pwn people. You're both horrible at it.

I actually think that a debate between those two has a lot of comedic potential.

That_Guy91
07-05-2006, 09:18 PM
True. One doesn't speak english very well. And the other's from Mexico.

noodlesfan
07-05-2006, 09:30 PM
True. One doesn't speak english very well. And the other's from Mexico.
Sitcom????

Ninty Man
07-05-2006, 09:39 PM
Sitcom????

Maybe a reality show...

Me trying to explain you why beans are good, and you been an asshole

noodlesfan
07-05-2006, 09:41 PM
Maybe a reality show...

Me trying to explain you why beans are good, and you been an asshole
Do I get a pet banana?

DeAtHsTaR
07-05-2006, 09:41 PM
Sex is for fags.

That_Guy91
07-05-2006, 09:42 PM
Sex is for fags.
ssshhh, watch the show.

noodlesfan
07-05-2006, 09:44 PM
*walks in* "Ninty Man, Have you seen my jar of strawberry preserves?"

*looks on ground* *sees banana in 4 pieces covered in preserves*

"nooooooooo!!!"

Ninty Man
07-05-2006, 11:57 PM
*walks in* "Ninty Man, Have you seen my jar of strawberry preserves?"

*looks on ground* *sees banana in 4 pieces covered in preserves*

"nooooooooo!!!"


LOL

It's not better that I must be eating Fred, the amazing banana?

wheelchairman
07-06-2006, 05:26 AM
Moderators. It is my wish that this thread be deleted. I never wanted it to become so fucking stupid.

Paint_It_Black
07-06-2006, 06:28 AM
Really Per, I can't believe you expected it to go any differently. It's not even particularly bad.

noodlesfan
07-06-2006, 06:49 AM
you made a thread about transexuals, rapists, and masturbating; and you didn't expect to get stupid(er)?

And everyone light a candle for Fred.

wheelchairman
07-06-2006, 07:00 AM
Really Per, I can't believe you expected it to go any differently. It's not even particularly bad.
I don't remember any of these people ever posting in politics before. I originally wrote it for a different forum and the result was different.

the_GoDdEsS
07-06-2006, 07:58 AM
Yeah, strange how we've been getting a major flood of the "politically interested" youth with lower mental capacities.

Aborted upon request.