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ygokazuki
05-27-2006, 04:28 PM
Verse 1
Failed a test and missed a lesson
Behind the rest and I'm second-guessing
Every step I took, every word I said
Can't think, the blood's rushing to my head

Chorus
This has been the worst week ever
Feels like it'll last forever
This has been the worst week ever
Turn it around, it's now or never

(tense hold for 1 measure w/ drum fill)

Verse 2
The weekend's finally here
It's clear my pain ends here
Unaccounted for, on my desk, a mere
Ton of homework, and a Language paper to prepare

I'm really not happy with the second verse, any constructive criticism would be much appreciated.
Thanks in advance.

EDIT: I'm thinking, after the 2nd chorus, to key change up a whole step and change the chorus words to
Now it's gonna be the best week ever
I can feel it, things are gonna get better
Now it's gonna be the best week ever
...aaaaand, I can't think of a 4th line.

JoY
05-27-2006, 05:38 PM
it's not at all crappy. just a bit.. well, about nothing? not that every song has to be meaningful, but I don't know how many people will be interested in how much homework is piling up on your desk.

0r4ng3
05-27-2006, 07:12 PM
Wow, that sounds like something I would write. Very cool.

Also similar to lyrics I've written, they seem to be about nothing.

Brain
06-10-2006, 05:25 AM
Nice one ;)

Here's my lyric, and don't wonder if there are some grammar mistakes, Iam german :p

Garden Of Black Roses

If you feel sad
And betrayed
Don’t suppress it
Go on with crying
I promise you
It feels better
So you won’t feel like
You’re dying

You don’t feel happy,
But you can’t fool yourself,
So let your feelings out
And let your tears flow
That’s a compromise
For your depressions
You feel more free
But you go

To the Garden of Black Roses - Where your Grief lies
The Garden of Black Roses – That’s where your joy dies
Garden of Black Roses – You lose yourself in it
Garden of Black Roses – You find yourself there in the mid
Withering… with black roses
Passing… with black roses

You’re swimming in your pain
Almost enjoy it
Submerged in self-pity
You can’t see the sun anymore
Everywhere are
black roses
But this a fair trade
You can’t feel your sore

Closing your eyes
You smell the roses
Never waking up
Lying there all alone
A tear rolls down your face
Your breathing goes heavy
A hand pulls you down
And you feel like a stone

In the Garden of Black Roses - Where your Grief lies
The Garden of Black Roses – That’s where your joy dies
Garden of Black Roses – You lose yourself in it
Garden of Black Roses – You find yourself there in the mid
Withering… with black roses
Passing… with black roses

No you don’t feel free anymore
You can’t get out of this nightmare maze
It’s like an endless night
And you don’t see any days
Don’t give in to your pain if you want to go away
Don’t give in to your sadness if you don’t want to see only colors like black and grey because these are colors of the

Garden of Black Roses - Where your Grief lies
The Garden of Black Roses – That’s where your joy dies
Garden of Black Roses – You lose yourself in it
Garden of Black Roses – You find yourself there in the mid
Withering… with black roses
Passing… with black roses

JoY
06-10-2006, 08:51 AM
not that I want to destract anyone from the original lyrics posted & the reason of the existence of this thread... but I once made lyrics that were the exact opposite of the lyrics that were just posted.

White Roses

She buries her head safely in her hands
Wraps herself in her arms, because she understands
She hugs her stuffed bear that he gave her that day
Mumbling their song with blank eyes, so she won’t display
the loud noises of fear and sadness she hears

The sound of her crying
Cut you right through the heart
Deafened by her pain
You shut it all off
And even though you know
She’s sitting straight up in bed
You tell yourself she’s sleeping
Dreaming of white roses instead

She screams in her sleep, in reality out loud
You stood by her door hesitating, but left her without
Without any comfort of little white lies
Without any words that everything will be alright
and all seems so frightening

The sound of her crying
Cut you right through the heart
Deafened by her pain
You shut it all off
And even though you know
She’s sitting straight up in bed
You tell yourself she’s sleeping
Dreaming of white roses instead

And when she wakes up the world seems to be new
The air is refreshing, on the grass there is dew
She sees her white curtains moved by breeze
Standing by the open window, the sun sets her at ease
and she feels her hair stroking her face

She closes her eyes and lets her doll fly away
She lets go of bear bobby, he begs her to stay
She leans out the window, deeply inhales the air
She looks up at the birds, who are floating there
and she begs them to take her along

there’s no question about it
though everything asks why
there will never be
a more beautiful day to die

funny, eh?

DefyMe
06-14-2006, 04:37 AM
[QUOTE=ygokazuki]Verse 1
Failed a test and missed a lesson
Behind the rest and I'm second-guessing
Every step I took, every word I said
Can't think, the blood's rushing to my head

Chorus
This has been the worst week ever
Feels like it'll last forever
This has been the worst week ever
Turn it around, it's now or never

(tense hold for 1 measure w/ drum fill)

Verse 2
The weekend's finally here
It's clear my pain ends here
Unaccounted for, on my desk, a mere
Ton of homework, and a Language paper to prepare

I'm really not happy with the second verse, any constructive criticism would be much appreciated.
Thanks in advance.

QUOTE]

Hmm yes its ok, not too bad although i think it has to be about a more serious issue, all the homework isn't a good topic for a song sorry. just keep alterin it