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View Full Version : I fucking rule. Fur realz.



kamikaze
05-29-2006, 07:48 PM
A week ago I ran my car into a deer. A lot of shit happened after that, but everything was cool. It's in the shop getting fixed, so I have a rental. Last night, technically this morning, I ran my rental car into a ditch because of a deer. I wonder what I'll do next. Maybe my plane will crash on the way to New Mexico this Saturday!? Heh...

Anyone else have one bad thing happen and, like, the next day have something just as bad, if not worse, happen? Tell me! I want to make sure I'm not the only one God hates.

Sin Studly
05-29-2006, 08:17 PM
God doesn't hate you, you just can't drive for shit because you're a woman.

Lizardus
05-29-2006, 08:41 PM
A week ago I ran my car into a deer. A lot of shit happened after that, but everything was cool. It's in the shop getting fixed, so I have a rental. Last night, technically this morning, I ran my rental car into a ditch because of a deer. I wonder what I'll do next. Maybe my plane will crash on the way to New Mexico this Saturday!? Heh...

Maybe a deer will be the pilot.

Bad shit happens to me all the time, not worth mentioning really.

Llamas
05-29-2006, 08:48 PM
God doesn't hate you, you just can't drive for shit because you're a woman.

a-pssshhhh!!! I'm a woman, and I'm like the best driver ever! ;) well, I drive well, no accidents or tickets or anything... but I get lost easily.

I hit a deer once, but it was already dead. It still fucked up my car... the shock of hitting it broke my windshield and messed up my wheel alignment... not to mention the blood and fur all over the tires :(

Tired_Of_You
05-29-2006, 08:55 PM
Everything that happens at my job is worth mentioning. I work at a super market where people cut the meat (+ the salads and a kinda small restaurant), btw. No idea how to call that.

I once closed the department (?) at 7h58 and some people began to yell at me because I thought it was 8pm. There's even a guy who said : "what am I going to eat tomorrow, bread with peanut butter?" How stupid can someone be? He was in a super market! It's full of food everywhere. There was meat just beside him. A super fucking market. I didn't tell him anything, obviously. I just told him I was sorry and that it was closed. The clients decided to tell the cashier that I closed the "dapartment" too early. Then my boss arrived at the same time. I finished an hour late, missed the bus so I had to wait for an hour, was tired, had an exam in the morning, etc. I think the same day a trash bag fell on me so I probably didn't smell good. I love my job.

I hope your plane won't crash. ;)

Sin Studly
05-29-2006, 09:08 PM
a-pssshhhh!!! I'm a woman, and I'm like the best driver ever!

I hit a deer once, but it was already dead.

Yeah, because dead carcasses are just so quick when darting out in front of your car. No wonder you didn't have time to react.

Stupid women drivers.

Mota Boy
05-29-2006, 09:09 PM
A week ago I ran my car into a deer. A lot of shit happened after that, but everything was cool. It's in the shop getting fixed, so I have a rental. Last night, technically this morning, I ran my rental car into a ditch because of a deer. I wonder what I'll do next. Maybe my plane will crash on the way to New Mexico this Saturday!?
"Say Ray, what's this mountain goat doing up way here in this cloud bank?"

Llamas
05-29-2006, 09:21 PM
Yeah, because dead carcasses are just so quick when darting out in front of your car. No wonder you didn't have time to react.

Stupid women drivers.

...it was midnight on a country highway. By the time the deer came into view, it was too late to swerve enough to completely miss it. If I hadn't swerved as much as I did, I would've hit it dead on and really messed up my car.

calichix
05-29-2006, 10:19 PM
what became of the deer?

barangatang
05-29-2006, 10:34 PM
Stupid women drivers.

Hehe, every female I've met has said "yeah women suck at driving, but I'm actually pretty good" And I don't think kamikaze is an exception.

T-6005
05-29-2006, 10:34 PM
what became of the deer?
It probably made a snazzy, catchy deer comment on women drivers.

Sin Studly
05-29-2006, 10:39 PM
...it was midnight on a country highway. By the time the deer came into view, it was too late* to swerve enough to completely miss it. If I hadn't swerved as much as I did, I would've hit it dead on and really messed up my car.

* for a female driver.

Endymion
05-29-2006, 10:52 PM
"Say Ray, what's this mountain goat doing up way here in this cloud bank?"
isn't that far side?

kamikaze
05-29-2006, 11:05 PM
The poor deer flopped around for a while, then died.
And as far as women and cars - they shouldn't mix. I'm the perfect example. Estrogen is the main cause of road rage, you know.

Preocupado
05-29-2006, 11:20 PM
Women can be very drifter in traffic, that's why i dislike female drivers.

Llamas
05-30-2006, 01:09 AM
* for a female driver.

haha, so men somehow have night vision and can see through fog? :p there were no lights lighting up the road, and it was foggy and humid. not to mention I was in the left lane and the left side of the left lane was a cement wall... the right side was where the deer was situated... so I had to swerve left, and even if I could've seen the deer on time, if I'd swerved much more, I would've gone into a cement wall.

Sin Studly
05-30-2006, 01:34 AM
If you had a penis you wouldn't have hit the deer.

End of discussion.

Llamas
05-30-2006, 02:12 AM
false. you fail at life.

Sin Studly
05-30-2006, 02:26 AM
Failing at life neccessitates having a vagina, instead of a superior manly penis.

the_GoDdEsS
05-30-2006, 03:07 AM
The Women can't drive stereotype wouldn't even be half as funny if the stupid females did not get so wound up over it. It's hilarious.

And yeah, women can't drive for shits.

Isolated Fury
05-30-2006, 05:52 AM
Proof: I was following behind her the second time, and uhh...let's just say that my car is perfectly fine.

JoY
05-30-2006, 05:56 AM
maybe a deer will secretly slip into your suitcase, escape in the plane & eat the pilot?


Yeah, because dead carcasses are just so quick when darting out in front of your car. No wonder you didn't have time to react.

Stupid women drivers.
*bursts into laughter*


"Say Ray, what's this mountain goat doing up way here in this cloud bank?"
that was my first thought.

I've never been so happy to have ilovellamas in our midst. no one can defend women better!

Sin Studly
05-30-2006, 06:17 AM
no one can defend women better!

Defending women is a man's job. You're supposed to stay home with the babies and write letters to the front.

Preocupado
05-30-2006, 08:54 AM
haha, so men somehow have night vision and can see through fog? :p there were no lights lighting up the road, and it was foggy and humid. not to mention I was in the left lane and the left side of the left lane was a cement wall... the right side was where the deer was situated... so I had to swerve left, and even if I could've seen the deer on time, if I'd swerved much more, I would've gone into a cement wall.


Men don't have night vision, we use the car's headlights.

JoY
05-30-2006, 08:58 AM
that was VERY well played.

killer_queen
05-30-2006, 09:55 AM
God doesn't hate you, you just can't drive for shit because you're a woman.
I couldn't agree more. My six year old nephew drives better than any women.

Lizardus
05-30-2006, 11:31 AM
Defending women is a man's job. You're supposed to stay home with the babies and write letters to the front.

And making you a sammich?

coke_a_holic
05-30-2006, 11:47 AM
isn't that far side?
Perry Bible Fellowship.

EDIT: I think... Although, it might be Farside. I can imagine either one doing it.

EDIT 2: No, it's definitely Farside. I got it confused with the PBF where the goat dies with the young couple on the mountain for some reason.

Sin Studly
05-30-2006, 08:18 PM
Men don't have night vision, we use the car's headlights.

HAHAHAHHAHAHA. Well played, well played! :D

Betty
05-30-2006, 08:58 PM
Yeah... a dead deer in the middle of the road... hmm... would you drive into a parked car as well?

As an honourary male, I feel that I can pass as an 'acceptable' driver.

Llamas
05-30-2006, 11:02 PM
Men don't have night vision, we use the car's headlights.

shit... *that's* what they're for??