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HornyPope
06-10-2006, 06:35 PM
10. If Endymion doesn't like you, he won't let you use internet.

9. Endymion's ftp has downloads to uploads at 1:10000000000000 ratio. Endymion never set a quota on his ftp.

8. Endymion never had to learn calculus.

7. Endymion doesn't fix computers. He talks to them.

6. Bill gates sold his soul to Endymion for dos. You don't want to know what he sold for windows.

5. Endymion.com was the first official internet domain. No one lived to talk about it.

4. "Anti-endymion" is a censored search on www.google.endy

3. Only four murders ever accured in the college computer lab under Endymion's supervision. If you compare it to the number of rapes during the same time span, it's a very positive number.

2. Endymion never had to take exams. He only had to look into his teachers eyes.

1. Teachers always asked if they can give Endymion blowjobs for better grades.

Sunny
06-10-2006, 07:16 PM
..Endymion puts his hands on a computer and the correct operating system installs.


[shutup]

nieh
06-10-2006, 07:21 PM
Endymion spreads his seed via ftp.

0r4ng3
06-10-2006, 07:22 PM
Endymion doesn't get computer viruses; computer viruses get Endymion.

[/stupid]

Jebus
06-10-2006, 07:22 PM
Nieh, maybe bit torrent would work better.

Sunny
06-10-2006, 07:24 PM
Nieh, maybe bit torrent would work better.

that would give the term "seeders" a whole new and awesome meaning.

SkunkIt
06-10-2006, 07:26 PM
Endymion doesn't get computer viruses; computer viruses get Endymion.

[/stupid]

For some reason, this makes me laugh.


Endymion's native language is binary.

[/lame]

Isolated Fury
06-10-2006, 08:35 PM
Endymion doesn't surf the web; he spins it.

HornyPope
06-10-2006, 10:27 PM
In Ryan James family pictures, Endymion looks more like his father than his mother.

Someone once asked if an ocean can be sweet instead of salty. Endy responded that it could be arranged

A scientist has asked for proof that the earth is flat. Endy put a paper on his desk first thing next morning. Another has asked for supreme proof for theory of evolution. Endy said "geez, will you ever do anything on your own?"

HornyPope
06-10-2006, 10:30 PM
No one really knowns how many women Endymion has slept with. Women lie too often.

Little_Miss_1565
06-10-2006, 10:38 PM
Just how potent is Endymion? You are already carrying his child.

Vera
06-11-2006, 02:16 AM
Heart heart heart.

Izie
06-11-2006, 02:40 AM
SO much love for this.

So much love for Endy too, aww.

Andy
06-11-2006, 04:08 AM
Someone once asked if an ocean can be sweet instead of salty. Endy responded that it could be arranged
Haw haw ten

Tizzalicious
06-11-2006, 04:13 AM
In the presence of Endymion, all floppy disks become hard disks.

- WCM

TheUnholyNightbringer
06-11-2006, 08:10 AM
Endymion is the anti-virus programme on the Enterprise.

Paint_It_Black
06-11-2006, 01:14 PM
Endymion does not sleep, he just goes on Stand By if people are watching.

JoY
06-11-2006, 01:54 PM
In the presence of Endymion, all floppy disks become hard disks.
hahaha! oh man, that one was great. also the ocean one of Vlad & the one about Endyman spinning the web from Isolated Fury.

what a load of schweet loving. <33

Mota Boy
06-15-2006, 06:42 AM
This thread is gold-plated gold.

The ILOVEYOU virus was the internet's declaration of its feelings for Endymion. Unfortunately for the internet, Endymion had the only spam blocker powerful enough to stop it.

noodlesfan
06-15-2006, 09:41 AM
when you look at Endymion's website, you automatically become impregnanted via flashing lights.

sKratch
06-15-2006, 10:47 AM
Endymion looks four ways before crossing the street; left, right, forward in time, and backward in time.

Endymion is an irrational nonterminating nonrepeating function, but he loves you.

Endymion is not Ozymandias.

Electrons put the "ion" in "Endymion".

Endymion can confidently tell you that "to should" is the unconjugated form of "should".

The sun rises on the east as an homage to Endymion.

Endymion is three differential equations away from killing Jack Bauer.

Endymion is 8 inches+

nieh
06-15-2006, 02:26 PM
sKratch wins this thread.

Sinister
06-15-2006, 02:29 PM
Endymion's (tera)byte is worse than his bark.

sKratch
06-15-2006, 02:50 PM
sKratch wins this thread.
That's because I win this Endymion.

nieh
06-15-2006, 02:59 PM
That's because I win this Endymion.
This and every other one.

Mota Boy
06-15-2006, 05:51 PM
Endymion applies the laws of physics - the laws of physics don't apply to Endymion.

While working in the US patent office in 1906, Albert Einstein published three ground-breaking papers on relativity. Endymion refers to that as a "slow Tuesday".

Once a reporter asked Endymion about the physical possibility of a temporal loop 40,000 times in a row, after which Endymion responded, "Convinced yet?" Since then, nobody's had the balls to ask him about spontaneous combustion.

HornyPope
06-15-2006, 06:11 PM
Endymion was to arrange the moon landing once but he was like busy that afternoon and NASA resorted to faking it instead.

HornyPope
06-15-2006, 09:50 PM
Endymion get thrills much better than sex from understanding major new concepts.

Lizardus
06-15-2006, 11:33 PM
Endymion surfed the internets before there was an internet.

He also invented sex.

wheelchairman
06-16-2006, 03:06 AM
Endymion once got a bad grade in class. The teacher responsible died on January 28th, 1986, on Challenger. This was no accident.

Lizardus
06-16-2006, 03:24 AM
Endymion is the second comming of Christ.

sKratch
06-16-2006, 10:23 AM
Endymion agrees only when appropriate; not generally.

Hot dogs are intimidated by Endymion.

In Soviet Russia, nothing changes for Endymion.

Endymion does not eat prime rib because it is not divisible by itself.

Endymion did not vote for Arnold.

If Endymion shot you in the head with a .45, you would die.

Endymion owns the patent for the solar powered flashlight, so lay off with the jokes.

HornyPope
06-20-2006, 06:35 PM
Gravity is one reason Endymion stayed on earth. The other is he's a real, real nice person who enjoys living around us.

Endymion taught Chuck Norris to devide by 0.

Jakebert
06-20-2006, 06:58 PM
In Soviet Russia, nothing changes for Endymion.

OMGENIUS!!!!!

Lizardus
06-20-2006, 07:13 PM
Endymion chalenged a statue to a staring contest and won.

HornyPope
06-20-2006, 07:20 PM
Endymion doesn't like stolen facts.

All About Eve
06-20-2006, 08:18 PM
Endymion told Bill Gates to use the search button.

Endymion owns the 404 error domain.

HornyPope
06-20-2006, 08:21 PM
Endymion told Bill Gates to use the search button.


Wait wait, I got it!

Endymion told Sergei Bryn to justfuckingoogleit.

All About Eve
06-20-2006, 08:35 PM
Endymion is the most common used form of instant messaging.

TheUnholyNightbringer
06-20-2006, 08:37 PM
Endymion invented the byte.

coke_a_holic
06-20-2006, 09:18 PM
Endymion foresaw this thread while he created all the internets.

All About Eve
06-20-2006, 09:24 PM
Endymion's byte is worse than his bark, and also holds more memory.

Endymion happened.

Little_Miss_1565
06-20-2006, 09:27 PM
The Shroud of Turin is not actually the death shroud of Jesus--that's just what happens to all of Endymion's spank-erchiefs.

TheUnholyNightbringer
06-20-2006, 09:31 PM
The Big Bang was the result of Endymion over-combing.

TV static is simply Endymion in a bad mood.

The 7th state of matter is Not Endymion.

While Adam and Eve were thrown out of the Garden of Eden for eating the apple, Endymion made assorted apple desserts and dared God to try that shit with him. God did not.

All About Eve
06-20-2006, 09:34 PM
Endymion wrote the blueprints for Noah's Arc.

Endymion left Easter Island unfished because he liked his Atlantis game more.

Endymion doesn't want a fanta.

Endymion has the sixth, seventh, and ninth senses. He says the eigth sense is for pussies.

0r4ng3
06-20-2006, 10:02 PM
Endymion is the man now, dog!

All About Eve
06-20-2006, 10:03 PM
Endymion is the Juggernaut, bitch.

0r4ng3
06-20-2006, 10:04 PM
Endymion stole my bike!

Jebus
06-20-2006, 10:22 PM
Jesse, wins!

Endymion created the universse by typing "rpm -ivh bigbang.rpm" in his Red Hat Linux shell prompt.

Lizardus
06-20-2006, 10:49 PM
Endymion is your father.

0r4ng3
06-20-2006, 10:49 PM
Endymion stole my bike!
I have proof!

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b38/0r4ng3/bike.jpg

Jebus
06-20-2006, 11:08 PM
You just game an idea for a megaman ytmnd that i'm incapable of making.

Nigga stole Megaman's Rush! *picture of nigga flying away on top of the dog*

------

Endymion...is Ogame. (only for those people who remember the dalaska incident in the ogame thread)

All About Eve
06-20-2006, 11:13 PM
Endymion...is Ogame. (only for those people who remember the dalaska incident in the ogame thread)
Link me to that.

Jebus
06-20-2006, 11:20 PM
actually, it was ignition/pyro.
http://www.offspring.com/forums/showthread.php?p=788309&highlight=ogame#post788309

It's not that funny but I had a good time.

sKratch
06-21-2006, 12:29 AM
Endymion doesn't want a fanta.

Mmm. I approve whole-heartedly.

All About Eve
06-21-2006, 12:49 AM
actually, it was ignition/pyro.
http://www.offspring.com/forums/showthread.php?p=788309&highlight=ogame#post788309

It's not that funny but I had a good time.
How did I miss that :(

0r4ng3
06-21-2006, 03:20 PM
Endymion does not accept the car as a valid reason.

sKratch
06-26-2006, 12:42 PM
Pff that's a double foul ball because you weren't around for that and I made a PTY joke already ;o

Endymion has his birthday today.

0r4ng3
06-26-2006, 12:44 PM
Ok, how's about one I was around for?

Endymion is the mayor of Paptown.

Endymion
06-26-2006, 01:01 PM
on snap! betta watch yo self!

Harnum
06-26-2006, 07:23 PM
on snap! betta watch yo self!
lol a lot to be said abouit endymion. have a happy b day. i read it all. pretty good ones there too guys

Thomas
06-26-2006, 08:05 PM
Endymion does not chew his food, he bytes it.




Yeah, that's all I can think of. =P