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View Full Version : Bumping into a former partner.



Kerr
06-27-2006, 01:35 PM
This is a question purely out of curiosity, and I don't think a thread has been made about this.

How would any of you react if you bumped into an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend? Would that reaction depend on how you parted i.e. good or bad terms; I assume this would normally be so, unless you parted on bad terms when you were teenagers and upon bumping into each other again years later, had a laugh about it instead of running a mile. Or would you really run a mile, or are you generally mature enough not to (run a mile being a figure of speech, could be merely avoiding them)? Or would you just act as you normally would because you are totally over them?

platinumpt
06-27-2006, 01:55 PM
I don't think I'd run a mile, but I also don't think I'd engage in a totally normal conversation with whoever ex-girlfriend I bump against. I'd react somewhere in the middle term, I guess. I know it's a totally useless post, but I felt like contributing with something.

Idiot
06-27-2006, 02:01 PM
I still meet up and hang out occasionally with my ex that I split from in March, were together just over a year and a half, so it might have been a bit rational to not ever speak to each other again, especially as we split on good terms. However, as time's gone on, we meet up less and less, which doesn't bother me really. I just think of what I've got away from and the freedom :)

killer_queen
06-27-2006, 02:02 PM
Well, I hate saying this again and again but I've never had a boyfriend. But there's one thing I can say. People who act like "I'm sooo over you! I don't love you anymore! You don't know what you're missing, do you?" are just a bunch of losers.

If I see a "special" someone I generally don't say hi before they come near to me. It's hard to guess people's reactions.

Depends on the situation, the type of relationship we had and that someone of course. If that someone is mature and if I'm still friends with him there's nothing wrong with talking for me. But if he's a childish and stupid (there's no point at dating with someone like that, though) staying away from him is a good idea.

Edit: off topic but thanks plat. =)

Kerr
06-27-2006, 02:17 PM
Depends on the situation, the type of relationship we had and that someone of course. If that someone is mature and if I'm still friends with him there's nothing wrong with talking for me. But if he's a childish and stupid (there's no point at dating with someone like that, though) staying away from him is a good idea.

Yeah, that's probably the same with me too. If the girl i was formerly going out with was childish like you said, or annoying in other ways (but only enough to not want to go out with them - everyone has annoying qualities, it's just some have so many [what we may find as] annoying qualities to the point that we can't get on with them), I wouldn't have any interest in talking to her again.

Oh the other hand, if the relationship was a good one, I might just have a nice chat with her again if I just happened to bump into her. It depends on the split though - if it was on good terms e.g. both took jobs in different countries for example, it would be nice to see each other again just for a talk. But, if she cheated on me or I cheated on her, it wouldn't really bo good at all, unless things really had to be patched up (and if the agreement was never to talk to one another again then if I would ignore her).

Idiot (the poster that is), I personally wouldn't go for regular meet-ups after the split. In your case though, you and your ex meet less and less, finally diverging into your own lives which is good. I personally consider the possibility of getting close again, and hence I wouldn't have too much contact (unless there was no harm in getting back together).

sKratch
06-27-2006, 03:02 PM
Way too much depends on circumstances for me to give a response.

Yatesy
06-27-2006, 03:20 PM
This reminds me of something that happened today. I was meeting up with some friends and we were waiting for one person and his ex walked up to say hi to me and only saw him when she got there, they then just pretty much made friends on the spot. So yeah thats how they dealed with it lol but tbh I've never thought about this as I'm only in my first relationship.

oja
06-27-2006, 03:31 PM
Well, I hate saying this again and again but I've never had a boyfriend.

The most popular girl from school and one of the coolest BBS members hasn't ever had a boyfriend??? :eek: :eek: Now I'm shocked...

Sinister
06-27-2006, 03:54 PM
I managed to keep a pretty good friendly relationship with my ex, even though we parted on very bad terms (involving her leaving me for another dude, who dumped her the next day). I guess we kinda "let the dust fall" so we mostly act like we've never been together.

Idiot
06-27-2006, 04:12 PM
Idiot (the poster that is), I personally wouldn't go for regular meet-ups after the split. In your case though, you and your ex meet less and less, finally diverging into your own lives which is good. I personally consider the possibility of getting close again, and hence I wouldn't have too much contact (unless there was no harm in getting back together).

Funny you should say that. The first couple of times we met after we split, she sent messages afterwards which blatantly implied she wanted me back.
But I had the higher ground and didn't want to, and I don't regret not getting back with her. Then I kind of changed my mind a few weeks later, and we were going to sort of try again, but start by going through a kind of 'dating' stage again, and just really gradually get back into a relationship.
But then I had a really bad feeling about it and we ended up just staying as friends, which was probably the best thing.

Rag Doll
06-27-2006, 04:55 PM
I think it would depend on the ex and where I saw them and who was around. I saw 2 guys I used to date a few months ago and totally ignored them and walked right past them. But then when I saw another ex of mine like a year ago, we ran up to each other and hugged each other. *shrug*

JohnnyNemesis
06-27-2006, 05:18 PM
I try to ignore them when I see them, but that's not how it turns out. Like sKratch says, it's way too dependent on circumstances to give a decent response, so *shrug*

HornyPope
06-27-2006, 06:39 PM
Humping > bumping

Nicole
06-27-2006, 08:38 PM
It depends on who you're talking about. Justin, I still see him sometimes and so I'd have a drink with him cause we're still good friends. The other one... I'd probably nervously say hi and run a mile.

Tizzalicious
06-27-2006, 09:12 PM
Hmmm, well I doubt I'd just bump into Lee, as he's from England and all. If I did, now, I think I'd be okay with it, if you'd ask me a while ago, I'd probably have answered something else. Like, either run//yell at him//kick him in the nuts.

I was with my other ex when I was 14, and I doubt I'd recognize him :P I'd probably just talk to him and say hi and how are you now and whatever. We went to the same school for years after we broke up.

Jakebert
06-27-2006, 09:17 PM
All of my relationships except for 1 have ended on good terms for the most part. I see most of my ex's (okay, I only have 4, but still) on a regular basis because of school and stuff, and I get along with all of them alright. We're not like best friends or anything, but if I have to talk to them it isn't awkward or anything.

Izie
06-28-2006, 12:55 AM
Well I really wouldn't run into Ken. And if I did, it would be extremely weird, but I imagine I wouldn't run off, and I hope he wouldn't either. We never actually properly said goodbye, so a talk would definitely be in order. Just... As normal as it can be, I suppose. Maybe some day we can actually talk like normal prople, old friends, whatever. I'd like that.

Betty
06-28-2006, 01:18 AM
I'd like to think that all of my relationships are mature enough and end on a good note to be able to treat exes like friends. And so far it has worked out. My recent ex is definitely one of my best friends at the moment. And I'd hang out with my ex before that anyday of the week, although we never see each other. But then I realize that I can still be totally immature and bottle up my emotions at times when it comes to relating to others, so maybe such a perfect situation wouldn't always be the case.

wheelchairman
06-28-2006, 02:04 AM
I don't see what's so immature about not wanting to see people who might make you feel uncomfortable?

There are too many variables to give a general answer. I think it depends on the nature of the relationship though and how long ago the break-up was.

JoY
06-28-2006, 03:34 AM
Way too much depends on circumstances for me to give a response.
same here. but I'll give a response anyway.

there's one exboyfriend I recently bumped into at a party. I first tried to keep my cool, ignoring him & he seemed to do the same. but suddenly we both walked up to each other at the same time, said "hi!" & sat down together to talk & update each other on our lives. he used to be mostly a good friend, not so much a "partner", so yeah, that was fun. but the fun ended pretty soon when my drunk boyfriend joined us.

one time I bumped into Tizz in Amsterdam & she was there with Willem. she was like "oooh, Willem saw you & recognised you & then ..*hyperhyper*" & I was like; "then.. where's Willem?". he was hiding behind a pancake hut, she told me & at first that made me laugh, but on second thought, that was probably for the best.

JoY
06-28-2006, 03:35 AM
I don't see what's so immature about not wanting to see people who might make you feel uncomfortable?

There are too many variables to give a general answer. I think it depends on the nature of the relationship though and how long ago the break-up was.
that I agree even more with.

Kerr
06-28-2006, 05:05 AM
how long ago the break-up was.
Hmm, I actually forgot about that.

And true, it does seem to depend on a lot of variables. And I see why it can depend on the person, even regardless of how the split went e.g. some people might be just easier to talk to or say "hi" to than others. Been interesting, though.

Tizzalicious
06-28-2006, 05:22 AM
one time I bumped into Tizz in Amsterdam & she was there with Willem. she was like "oooh, Willem saw you & recognised you & then ..*hyperhyper*" & I was like; "then.. where's Willem?". he was hiding behind a pancake hut, she told me & at first that made me laugh, but on second thought, that was probably for the best.

Whah, yes that was pretty weird! The weirdest thing actually was that that same day, before we saw you, he said "Whenever I'm in Amsterdam, I'm always worried I'll see Bella!" me: "Oh man, Amsterdam is huge, it's not like that will happen!" and then a few hours later: "OMG. That was bella!" "yeah right" "no really!"

JoY
06-28-2006, 05:24 AM
the one exboyfriend I'd rather not see was my first boyfriend. so I'd say it really does depend more on how the break up went, than on how far back in time it was. I'd have no problem at all seeing other exboyfriends, except him.

I've yet to see a break up that goes smoothly & looks pretty, but the moment of the break up isn't defining. it's the reason why two people part, the history on which that decision is based. I bet everyone would rather bump into a former partner they had fun & a great time with, than someone they were in a relationship with that caused both parties/either one of the parties misery.

Andy
06-28-2006, 05:25 AM
I tend to avoid exes like the plague. We broke up for a reason, and the reason usually is I get sick to death of them.

I'm such a nice guy.

JoY
06-28-2006, 05:27 AM
Whah, yes that was pretty weird! The weirdest thing actually was that that same day, before we saw you, he said "Whenever I'm in Amsterdam, I'm always worried I'll see Bella!" me: "Oh man, Amsterdam is huge, it's not like that will happen!" and then a few hours later: "OMG. That was bella!" "yeah right" "no really!"
hahahahaha, I still remember you shouted my name & I didn't hear it, because I was talking with Huibert. suddenly someone passed me by & said; "Isabella, someone's calling you". & I stopped biking, got off, looked back & was like; "wtf? I don't know her, but I do. I don't recognise her, but I do." I'd never seen you before, it was so weird! it took me minutes to realise what was going on.

Tizzalicious
06-28-2006, 05:34 AM
It was really really strange. But pretty cool!

JoY
06-28-2006, 05:36 AM
VERY cool. I was totally hyper after that. we'd been on the phone so many times & pretty long, too. & I knew your voice, I knew your pictures & finally I got to meet you. it was most definitely awesome. & I found you to be the cutest thing ever. *grins*

Tizzalicious
06-28-2006, 05:48 AM
Haha, well I was all little and pink! That is kinda cute!

Edit: Hmmz, we turned this into "bumping into a former partners former parter".

JoY
06-28-2006, 06:23 AM
Haha, well I was all little and pink! That is kinda cute!

Edit: Hmmz, we turned this into "bumping into a former partners former parter".
..not kinda cute, Tizzster. *giggles* <33

ultimately you could wonder if we weren't partners. kind of partners in crime in a ménage a trois.

nieh
06-28-2006, 06:24 AM
I only have one ex-girlfriend and I wouldn't mind bumping into her provided circumstances weren't especially weird. There were also two not-quite-girlfriends I've had, one of them would be a bit weird bumping into and I'd probably try avoiding it if I could.

Tizzalicious
06-28-2006, 06:26 AM
..not kinda cute, Tizzster. *giggles* <33

ultimately you could wonder if we weren't partners. kind of partners in crime in a ménage a trois.

You make this sounds very strange :P

Nina
06-28-2006, 09:02 AM
I don't see what's so immature about not wanting to see people who might make you feel uncomfortable?


I agree.
For me it depends on the ex and why we split up. But I'm a typical case of a girl who gets together with people from school...I am very used to "bumping" into my ex bf's. But nobody cares about relationships you had at 13-15, anyway. It's okay, I'd like to think I handle it well.

sKratch
06-28-2006, 09:21 AM
Mmm I suppose one way to do this is to go through specific people, eh?
Girls I dated from way early in my life I wouldn't mind bumping into because a) Hell I might not even recognize them and b) It really wasn't that serious because I was like 14. There is a girl who I dated at the end of my freshman year of high school who I'd like to bump into because I don't think I've talked to her since she graduated (she's a year older than me). I actually just found her on myspace. We only dated for a few months and then were solid friends for the next two years.
There's a girl I was with in tenth grade with whom things actually ended pretty poorly (dumped me through an email, if I remember, a few days before V-Day :(:() and I've randomly talked to her a few times since then. I wouldn't mind running into her because she's pretty hot from what I've seen on the interwebs. I don't know how much we could actually talk though.
The summer after 10th grade I very randomly dated this girl that just graduated for about two weeks or so and then realized I really didn't want to be doing it because I didn't have the desire to make out with her and the thought of it was weird. I have run into her and it's a tiny bit awkward because I never knew her too well, but she's a really nice girl and has a good sense of humor.
The rest of high school is an on-and-off bad story about a girl I really don't like running into but it happens more than makes me happy. A lot of you may remember the story about my awesome girlfriend who dumped me in college and made me all emo for a while. She thinks we're best buds sometimes which makes things very awkward. I don't enjoy encounters with her because on my half it's very fake. However, I see her once in a while over the year because she plays frisbee and I play frisbee so we'll be at the same tournaments with our respective schools. She also used to try to talk to me every once in a while online, including when she saw that I was with another girl O_o
Anyways, I guess at this point in my life, there's no one I would really run away from but there are a few people I wouldn't be exceptionally happy about seeing.

wheelchairman
06-28-2006, 11:05 AM
oh jesus sKratch. You are always talking about your girlfriends.

sKratch
06-28-2006, 11:25 AM
At least I don't post kissy pictures of us on the internet! :o

wheelchairman
06-28-2006, 11:26 AM
No. Even worse. Beach pics! oh man whatta beach...

BREAK
06-28-2006, 06:50 PM
I'll tell you when it happens.

*Burns another bridge, whoops*

ninthlayer
06-29-2006, 04:57 AM
Would depend on the ex, for sure.

In order (and using the first letters of their names to identify them):
K - I still talk to her, she's good people. We have breakfast on Sunday mornings.
S - I see her about once a year and I always feel awkward and slightly embarassed because she's always telling me how she's still attracted to me. GG, shave your legs. Gross.
N - Probably pretend not to notice her in order to avoid making a scene. If I was directly confronted by her I'd probably laugh a lot and tell her what a stupid hooker she was.
E - Lawl, the psychotic one. I actually have run into her after breaking up and being done with her, apparently she worked at Michael's for a while and I go there to buy craft supplies. Lindsey noticed her glaring at us and I just pretended she didn't exist (Again, I tend to prefer remaining lowkey in public and not causing scenes).

I think a better question would be how to handle running into a one night stand, because that shit can get downright uncomfortable very quickly.

JoY
06-30-2006, 05:42 AM
I think a better question would be how to handle running into a one night stand, because that shit can get downright uncomfortable very quickly.
uhhh, yes. YES.

I once ran into a one night stand at a party, was talking to him, & suddenly a friend hands him his phone & says; "it's for you". he walked off, then came back & I asked; "who was it?" (just general interest) he said it was his mother & I raised my eyebrow; "don't be ridiculous, your mother doesn't call you at 3 am on your friend's phone. you can just tell me to my face it was a chick, jesus." (because, seriously, we just shagged once & honestly, WEIRD situation, no?) he looked at me very surprised & again said; "no honestly, it was my mother." I was like, no fucking way, & rolled my eyes.
then he says; "alright fine Isabel, she has a braintumor, she's going to die, she has no one but me, because my father died of cancer last year, & since my phone isn't working, I gave her my friend's number just in case anything was wrong."

that was the biggest "oops"-moment of my entire life, probably. three weeks later I ran into him again & full of guilt I asked him how his mother was. by then she'd died. :/!