View Full Version : Making a change
07-08-2006, 09:56 AM
I'm sure everyone in their life comes to a point, where they stop, sit down and really think about something, and realize that something needs to change. Now I'm not talking about dirty socks or underwear, I just mean life in general, something that will change your entire life around, or at least a portion of it. Alcohol, drugs, relationships, education, jobs, money situations, friends, family, etc. I don't mean just anyday situation where you take a seat on the couch and go "huh, yeah, i guess i could start doing this/stop doing that" or "that seems like a good plan". I'm talking about when it all hits you at once and really start to smell the coffee.
So my question to you is, when in your life, can you remember, that something hit you all at once and you knew you needed to make a change? For some people, something like this they may not remember or care about, or maybe something like this hasnt happened yet, or maybe it happens all the time. But anyways, share your stories please!
Also, try and say what age you were, if you really went through with your change, and how it affects your life now/did affect your life.
07-08-2006, 10:24 AM
Hmm, let's see...
My decisions were made by my parents in the past. There are not a so much of them.
Firstly, I've thought I would be a musician in the future until I was 10. But then I realized that I wasn't so super talented so I stopped playing piano all day, stopped makig my life based on music and focused on my school lessons. It totally changed my life. If I hadn't done that my life would be so much different right now.
The second one wasn't a big change and everyone didn't notice it. It was about my personality. I decided to be more tough and less emotional, more bitchy and less tolerant. It was about a year ago (and I'm 16... okay 17 right now) and made people respect me more. That's all.
07-08-2006, 10:26 AM
Oh, personality counts too? I decided to be more sarcastic and cynical last year. I think it's working out well so far.
07-08-2006, 10:48 AM
This thread could be quite interesting.
I was reasonably popular in school. I had a lot of friends. Then, quite suddenly, I realized that most of them were scared of me. I had never considered myself to be a bully, and in fact I despised bullies, but almost overnight it occurred to me that in many ways I bullied my friends. Mostly verbally, but sometimes physically. I mean, I didn't ever beat the crap out of them (not the ones I really liked anyway), but I was always physically intimidating. As soon as I realized what was going on I hated it, and immediately tried very hard to change things. Not surprisingly, the number of people I considered to be friends dropped quite quickly, but I knew the ones that were left were the only ones who had been real friends all along.
It wasn't quite the smooth transition I had hoped for though. Since I was trying not to appear intimidating, several people saw this as a sign of weakness. I found it was quite difficult to be respected by teenage boys without being feared. I basically ended up having to beat the crap out of someone about once a month, just so people wouldn't be trying to start shit with me every damn day.
I'm now a very different person than I was back then. It was a sudden and significant change in my life. I went from having almost no empathy to considering a career in social work. The funny part is, I have no idea what sparked the sudden change in me.
Edit: I was probably 14 or 15 at the time.
07-08-2006, 11:07 AM
Maybe at the age of 19 I found this incredible self-confidence and finally believed that I am good at everything I put my hands on. It was in me since I was a child but with the whole ego-stomping regimist society things were difficult to believe even years after. I knew I was excellent but I had not many chances of showing it. I realised I love leading people and organising people, accomplishing my goals. And most of my changes in life came with the changing of my environment. Sometimes you gotta get out to find yourself.
07-08-2006, 11:08 AM
Yes I agree, it's very good thread!
WEll what about me? When I went to school, in 1st form I have 2 friends, then I became acquainted with another childen in my class. Then when we entered 5th form our class was separated and recomleted (they added another children, that wanted to study English). SO I became acquainted with that added part. But they all were so noisy and sly so I didn't like them. I understood that I must find another friends. I did. I was 10-11 years old, I think.
Another changing came in 10th form. When 2 my best friends left school. WE stayed friends, but I spent a lot of time in school so I had to find there another friends. I did, but they were not such persons whom I can tell all. I was 15 years old.
One more change. It was this year, and it was really hard for me. YOu know such situation when person become all world for you and then you lose that person. That's hard, from that time I try to change my life and sometimes I do.
07-08-2006, 11:25 AM
The most recent change in thinking I did, was with regards to the amount of importance I laid on school work.
It essentially arched over a 3 year period. I started business school with a will to excel. Or at least try to. At the end of the year I found out that the school offered a grant to students with high grade averages and low absence. I may have even gotten some if I had applied for it.
So the next year I tried even harder and had even less absence. And missed the cutoff point by 0.1.
All that hard work seemed really wasted. So by midterm next year my grade average went down a full grade, and I had amassed about 180 hours of absence by the end of the year. Thankfully the schoolwork you do is absolutely meaningless, and the only grades that count are the exams. So instead of going down one full grade, it only went down by 0.1.
What I learned however, is that I was missing out on a whole lot of people, by focusing on being a good student. Especially because the schoolwork we had was so worthless and boring. I could achieve the same grades by doing none of the work.
For me, one is making stupid misinformed comments. I used to do it in general years ago, too much. Now though, partly through maturity and alongside experiences as a result of any mistakes I made or stupid things I have said, any of the following happens: I either just don't say it if I think it might be stupid, give it a quick think over, and I might realise it is. Or, if I do end up saying this stupid thing, I will realise it is and say "shit no, ignore that, that was stupid". The latter sadly happens more often, and it STILL isn't good I think. It might well be better than I was in the past, but I don't think it's good enough; I will just have to get into the habit of thinking twice before saying something. That being said, I tend to think twice now before doing most things. It can depend on what mood I am in, or my state of mind though (which is affected ESPECIALLY by bad sleep patterns, whether it's too much or too little, or being hungover). When my state of mind is bad, it really does show. When it's good, I am capable of making an intelligent point every now and again, being a good person with a good personality, showing a bit more strength and being more informed and co-ordinated. Even more sociable.
Others are really minor things, for example, being slightly more confident, but the main major thing is just learning more about aspects of life (even though it still isn't enough since I haven't experienced proper life, but I know that that is yet to come anyway). This is the first pivotal point I think. It's not just looking at the generally sensible views expressed on this BBS alongside personal experiences and mistakes made but also through my experiences with people, like seeing through the shitty ones for example. I learned a lot more than I would have hanging around with some of the shitty people and "doing as they say, following the crowd", or whatever. This is kinda why I ended up disliking most of my sixth form year, and not being part of a major crowd.
My main pivotal point will be, I think, the university years and when I start experiencing life. The university years should improve on my social skills, which are still not too good (also another reason why I didn't make so many other friends or keep them whilst in sixth form), and other general weaknesses I have (which mostly involve any form of interaction with other people). The life experience will just make me a better adult. In fact, it is some of the learning I have had in the past two years which has made me generally more informed as I have said in the first paragraph. I am also a bit too tolerant, but that's decreasing. I think I am progressing. Slowly, but progressing.
07-09-2006, 02:19 PM
10th grade, I think - I can't remember how old I was, but the end of it.
I stopped caring about emotions so much - and that may have been a mistake, but I prefer to think that it stopped me from indulging in frivolous actions based on what I really felt. Gut instinct and my natural biting wit led from that point, and I've never looked back.
07-09-2006, 02:23 PM
when i gave up cocaine in eighth grade, when i came out of the closet in tenth grade, when i pressured my mother into an abortion two years ago...
I was very young when I realized that I dont want to live the way my parents want me to. I understood at a very, very young age (elementary school) that I have to lie to them to be able to LIVE.
That sounds like a disaster, but it isnt so bad.
It started out with little lies... but it always had to do with the places I go to ("WHERE WERE YOU?!" - "I was still in school...".).
I always knew that I didnt want to live in a cage. I didnt let them.
Now, at 19, I am sick of the lies. Because the lies got bigger the older I got. Whenever they try to forbit something, I simply disobey and do it anyway, either openly, or along with another lie, which I usually hate. I am trying to get rid of it, but it's a slow process. My parents have to realize that I am not a child anymore.
Yeah, my story is completely different to everybody else's story.
07-09-2006, 02:55 PM
I made a change in my life once I realized that we (my family) might go homeless (I don't feel comfortable explaining why) if I didn't start attending a community college and get some financial aid money.
My original plan was to attend, use the excess financial aid money for rent, and get a job shortly after. Instead, I was able to help out with the excess aid, but I also found a summer program that led me to where I am today: one of the best schools ever.
The change was humongous, and that crucial moment where I decided to stop being such a fucking pussy and do something with my life is as important now as itw as then.
07-09-2006, 10:31 PM
I guess my biggest change was when I decided I wanted to lose weight, and actually did it. I wanted to before, but always gace up. But this time I actually changed my entire eating pattern around, and it worked. Not only did I lose the ghetto ass, but it also gave me a lot more confidence. And a nicer wardrobe :P
Then there are a lot of things I want to change, but I end up never changing. Like more studying, less procrastinating.
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