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Sin Studly
07-26-2006, 02:09 AM
So gather round ye children
And listen to my epic tale
The tale of a communist
Who delivers Denmark's mail
Not ashamed to be American
Not ashamed that he has cash
Not ashamed he wasn't born
As ghetto Paptown trash

Not ashamed to defend Israel
Nor admit that Maoists suck
He's only ashamed of his girlfriend
Because she is a stupid fuck
But there are things that should shame him
That are far far worse than Tizz
He's not ashamed to be a mailman
And not being allowed to take a whizz

So hark to the ballad of Postman Per
Who's proud to be a Yank
And we were proud of him until
He took a Dutch as his sperm-bank
And we've seen the little kissygif
We've even seen his nipples
Despite the huge taboo on porn
That features worthless cripples

But we're still looking for reasons,
To explain his awful taste,
And Tizz is just the start of it,
It's really such a waste,
So here's the part you stop reading
And beg of me to just stop ;
He likes movies like Stargate
And motherfucking Robocop

So what can create such a man,
Whose tastes are not that of heaven,
Apart from Strontium-Ninety,
And Caesium-One-Three-Seven?
For this Red was born defected
With a malady quite ignoble
For his old mama gave birth to him
In the wake of the Chernobyl

So hark to the ballad of Postman Per
Who's proud to be a Yank
And we were proud of him until
He took a Dutch as his sperm-bank
And we've seen the little kissygif
We've even seen his nipples
Despite the huge taboo on porn
That features worthless cripples

Izie
07-26-2006, 02:33 AM
<3 the ballads.

Silly mailman Per!

Sin Studly
07-26-2006, 02:39 AM
h8 crippled radioactive birth-defects.

The Chernobyl thing makes him like a superhero. MailMan!

Tizzalicious
07-26-2006, 02:41 AM
Haha, I love it! Even though I probably shouldn't :(

Vera
07-26-2006, 02:54 AM
The sperm-bank line KILLED me.

This is one of the coolest ones ever.

Sin Studly
07-26-2006, 02:59 AM
Haha, I love it! Even though I probably shouldn't :(

Pfft, you know I didn't mean a word of it (except the worthless cripple and birth-defects part)..

edit ; I somehow wrote 'whore' instead of 'word'. Even my subconcious pwns Maartje. :(

Vera
07-26-2006, 03:09 AM
You're so awful, Justin. As (typo'ed 'ass') if her life isn't bad enough, she has a boyfriend with no legs! How is one to have sex with such a crippled loser?

Tizzalicious
07-26-2006, 03:10 AM
Oh, alright then. I can live with that, dating a cripple isn't all that bad.

wheelchairman
07-26-2006, 04:00 AM
Maartje is simply part of my eugenics program!

p.s. this is awesome.

Izie
07-26-2006, 04:31 AM
I just wanted to add I <3 Per too. He needs to be online more so we can plot :(

Little_Miss_1565
07-26-2006, 06:46 AM
*applause*

BREAK
07-26-2006, 08:56 AM
Best one yet. I'm not just kissing ass because it's about my favorite communist mail-delivering cripple with the worst taste in everything ever.

Harnum
07-26-2006, 09:03 AM
Hah! Sheer greatness!

Marco
07-26-2006, 10:24 AM
oK everybody, I have to announce that I'm officialy a die-hard fan of these ballads.

XYlophonetreeZ
07-26-2006, 11:29 AM
oK everybody, I have to announce that I'm officialy a die-hard fan of these ballads.
I doubt you even get most of the references in them.

Marco
07-26-2006, 01:17 PM
I doubt you even get most of the references in them.
I doubt your brain can handle to think.

killer_queen
07-26-2006, 01:30 PM
oK everybody, I have to announce that I'm officialy a die-hard fan of these ballads.
Forget it. He's not gonna write a new one for you.

XYlophonetreeZ
07-26-2006, 01:37 PM
Oh noez, I'm having my intelligence insulted by this guy:
I post on the "You know when you're addicted to the offspring when...." thread and that requires creative minds.

Oh, and you don't get the dtoxrockers joke either, yet you go so far as to have it in your sig. Stop trying so hard to fit in, nobody will ever like you.

the_GoDdEsS
07-26-2006, 01:39 PM
Stop ruining the thread, people.

Marco
07-26-2006, 01:58 PM
Oh noez, I'm having my intelligence insulted by this guy:

Oh, and you don't get the dtoxrockers joke either, yet you go so far as to have it in your sig. Stop trying so hard to fit in, nobody will ever like you.
surely not by motherfuckers like you.
for the goddess & everybody else: sorry I cannot stand him.

barangatang
07-26-2006, 02:57 PM
But we're still looking for reasons,
To explain his awful taste,
And Tizz is just the start of it,
It's really such a waste,
So here's the part you stop reading
And beg of me to just stop ;
He likes movies like Stargate
And motherfucking Robocop

So what can create such a man,
Whose tastes are not that of heaven,
Apart from Strontium-Ninety,
And Caesium-One-Three-Seven?
For this Red was born defected
With a malady quite ignoble
For his old mama gave birth to him
In the wake of the Chernobyl

Best back to back lines in a sin ballad ever. Great job.

ninthlayer
07-26-2006, 03:26 PM
I'm glad that the kissygif made into Per's ballad.

And Marco, you really don't get half of the lines.

Sin Studly
07-26-2006, 03:44 PM
I might just double-up on it and put it in the ballad of ninthlayer too.

ninthlayer
07-26-2006, 04:04 PM
I prefer ninth to ninthlayer.

JohnnyNemesis
07-26-2006, 04:23 PM
This seems like the Ballad of Tizzalicious more than the Ballad of Postman Per.

Sin Studly
07-27-2006, 02:08 AM
It'd be more Per-ry if he learned to log out of her fucking account.

JohnnyNemesis
07-27-2006, 07:33 AM
Fair enough/true indeed.