View Full Version : When is it acceptable to declare martial law and machine-gun your own citizens?

Sin Studly
08-04-2006, 05:09 PM
We gotta be the only first world nation where the tribes are still fucking spearing each other. For serious!


SYLVESTER JONGMAN: All these boys, they’re all mine, my cousin, brother.

SARAH FERGUSON: Sylvester Jongman’s boys are all members of Judas Priest. On the other side are the Evil Warriors. Another wallaby hunter, 19 year old Sylvester Parmbuk knows that the Judas Priest boys are his sworn enemies.

SYLVESTER PARMBUK: They gang up after them, go down to where the Evil Warrior mob, big mob boys, get some weapon, spears, everything.

SARAH FERGUSON: Do you like living in Wadeye?


SARAH FERGUSON: From the urban grunge of music videos and TV, the most astonishing influence is white, heavy metal bands… like Judas Priest.

LLOYD MULLUMBUK: We love the style where they’re doing…



SARAH FERGUSON: Do you like the words or the music?


SARAH FERGUSON: What sort of words do they have?

SYLVESTER PARMBUK: About killing people.

SARAH FERGUSON: The Catholic Mission at Wadeye brought feuding tribes to live together. Now the cult of heavy metal bands has been overlaid on those old tribal divisions between the salt water people of the coast and the freshwater people of the inland. As tension built up during the wet season the town’s elders tried to keep them apart.

SYLVESTER JONGMAN: Next minute they was flying every side, coming out of the scrub.

STEPHEN BUNDUCK: They had spear, bar, axe boomerang.

SYLVESTER JONGMAN: I can shoot goose for them that deep. I tell them to go and get it they go and get it. They respect me.

SARAH FERGUSON: What’s going to happen to all these boys that follow you if they don’t go to school, they can’t read and they can’t write?

SYLVESTER JONGMAN: I don’t know. Like me, I don’t read and write.

SARAH FERGUSON: Is that good enough for you?


DESMOND LONGMAIR: A few came down through the gate. They surrounded the houses and started smashing all this house.

LLOYD MULLUMBUK: Smash all them door with an axe

SARAH FERGUSON: With an axe?


DESMOND LONGMAIR: All my family was inside and my two grandson and grand daughter and my wife was screaming for help.

SARAH FERGUSON: Why did you do it?

LLOYD MULLUMBUK: Because they smash my house and I gotta do the same thing again

AMBROSE JONGMAN: The council and the police and myself we made an arrangement and we put a line there.

SARAH FERGUSON: After days of taunting each other across the boundary, the line was breached. How many of them were there?

SYLVESTER JONGMAN: This whole town…

SARAH FERGUSON: …was involved. How many is that?


08-04-2006, 05:42 PM
So a bunch of illiterate tribal morons who fight with sticks and spears named their gang after a cheesy heavy metal band? How the hell do they even know who they are if they can't read? Are they really that popular on Australian television/radio? Do they know Rob Halford is gay? I demand answers!

08-04-2006, 06:22 PM
As i go through the text, two targets start to tempt my ichy finger: The Judas Priest, solely for being a dumbfuck useless band, and the Catholic Mission.

Edit: Ok, Catholic Mission acquitted.

Well, it's quite a cuecumber for Australia now, because it seems like the government used some cheap ass, unsupported plan to bring those tribes togueter. In fact, that reminds me A LOT of Brazil.