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View Full Version : Hey guys, I need a small favour



Sin Studly
08-08-2006, 05:53 AM
I'm getting to work on fixing my Last Will and Testament shit, and I need about thirty gorgeous women (whites only ; virgins preferred, but not required) to be buried alive with me to be my concubines in the afterlife, and around fifteen fit and able men (again, whites only ; must be heavily-built and capable of bringing violent ruin to mine enemies) to be chained outside my kurgan (http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y218/AmonGoth/deltaria/kurgan5.jpg) until you starve, so that your spirits may guard my mortal remains for all of eternity.

Any volunteers?

JoY
08-08-2006, 05:58 AM
sorry, too Jewish.

Sin Studly
08-08-2006, 06:09 AM
You're white enough to get put down tentatively, but I'll have to bump you off the list if too many people of purer blood volunteer.

SplinterByMyOwnDesign
08-08-2006, 06:43 AM
I'm white.

Sin Studly
08-08-2006, 06:58 AM
Are you a gorgeous hopefully-virginal chick, or a heavily-built male warrior?

SplinterByMyOwnDesign
08-08-2006, 07:00 AM
Are you a gorgeous hopefully-virginal chick, or a heavily-built male warrior?

Nope. :eek:

JoY
08-08-2006, 07:04 AM
Are you a gorgeous hopefully-virginal chick, or a heavily-built male warrior?
well, in that case I'm out.

Sin Studly
08-08-2006, 07:07 AM
omg don't be a Jew! Get buried alive with me!

I thought we were friends :( :( :(

HeadAroundU
08-08-2006, 08:10 AM
Here I stand! Heavily-built male warrior! HAU.

Endymion
08-08-2006, 08:12 AM
though i am mostly pure of blood (there's some irish), i do not meet the heavily-built warrior requirement.

Harnum
08-08-2006, 08:13 AM
What about if I'm a heavily-built white female virginal warrior. ;) Oh, the possibilities

EDIT: I am a guy by the way, and built up women make me sick...

noodlesfan
08-08-2006, 08:16 AM
I've got nothing better to do, so why not. Do I qualify? Here's a picture of me.

http://www.deeptruths.com/images/Jesus-by-Sabine.jpg

- -Lauren- -
08-08-2006, 12:07 PM
I'm about 3/4 Irish. Sorry Justin, can't help you out.

0r4ng3
08-08-2006, 12:09 PM
"Justin"?!

But...the avatar...

Actually, this thread makes a bit more sense now.

Betty
08-08-2006, 12:09 PM
I was sleeping when you MSN'd me.

But sure. White and gorgeous. Not particularly virginal.

mrconeman
08-08-2006, 12:26 PM
I might aswell hop on the Irish band wagon and say I'm entirely Irish, I'm out.

XYlophonetreeZ
08-08-2006, 12:29 PM
Too much kike.

Lizardus
08-08-2006, 12:50 PM
Too foreign.

Preocupado
08-08-2006, 12:55 PM
Why does the male warrior has to be heavily built if he's going to starve to death? Aren't wimps more practical?

Lizardus
08-08-2006, 01:06 PM
must be heavily-built and capable of bringing violent ruin to mine enemies)
That's why.

Sin Studly
08-08-2006, 05:43 PM
What, I'm gonna entrust the security of my final resting-place to wimps?

And I'm glad to see at least Betty is a true friend, unlike you bastards.

Llamas
08-08-2006, 07:02 PM
I'll do it, sin. I'd love to be buried alive. sounds sexay.

Paint_It_Black
08-08-2006, 07:07 PM
All the non-virgins can be buried with me. I'd rather spend eternity with girls who know what they're doing.

RickyCrack
08-08-2006, 07:16 PM
I'm not a virgin, because I've sex with girls, but I'm a very barbaric male warrior (lvl 60) and I don't use kicks in fights like little girls. I would be honored to be burried alive with you.

Sin Studly
08-08-2006, 08:34 PM
No, you get chained up outside the kurgan with your +2 Broadsword to guard me for all of eternity.

edit ; and yeah, no warriors who kick like little girls shall be eligable.

SkunkIt
08-08-2006, 08:55 PM
I've got nothing better to do, so why not. Do I qualify? Here's a picture of me.

http://www.deeptruths.com/images/Jesus-by-Sabine.jpg

You're too Jewish. :(

Also, I'm so out. I've got no white in me and i'm not a heavily built gorgeuos female warrior.

Sin Studly
08-08-2006, 09:12 PM
People seem to be misinterpreting the guidelines.

Females are for the sex (but only when the man chooses to have it) and slaving in hell's kitchen to cook brains or ambrosia or manna or whatever the fuck dead people eat, males are for the warrior-ing and generally having more rights than women. In death, nothing changes.

Isolated Fury
08-08-2006, 10:27 PM
(but only when the man chooses to have it)
This comment does not compute.

Lizardus
08-08-2006, 10:34 PM
He is going to do you wherever you like it or not.

Isolated Fury
08-08-2006, 10:47 PM
Learn how to read.

Lizardus
08-08-2006, 11:05 PM
Same thing to you.

Do i have to make a diagram?

Sin Studly
08-08-2006, 11:54 PM
Yes. Please make a diagram of me fucking Isolated Fury whether he likes it or not.

noodlesfan
08-08-2006, 11:57 PM
Yes. Please make a diagram of me fucking Isolated Fury whether he likes it or not.
I'll have to exaggerate your penis, paint programs can only make lines so small

Sin Studly
08-08-2006, 11:59 PM
Stop attempting to be funny.

noodlesfan
08-09-2006, 12:04 AM
Stop attempting to be funny.
Start taking your own advice.

All About Eve
08-09-2006, 05:40 AM
I'm only 5'10, but pretty strong, so what's your stand on underages?

Sin Studly
08-09-2006, 05:46 AM
Start taking your own advice.

I'm serious. Fucking stop it. You're not funny, you never will be, and the people here are never going to like and/or accept you until you realise this and act accordingly.

pathfinder
08-09-2006, 06:30 AM
Well...... guess im out to guard you.

Patton
08-09-2006, 07:17 AM
Count me in, huckleberry.

Sin Studly
08-09-2006, 07:45 AM
Well...... guess im out to guard you.

Faggy kicking kickers aren't worthy of guarding my kurgan.


Count me in, huckleberry.

Awesome, a true warrior!

nieh
08-09-2006, 08:06 AM
I don't think I'm white or awesome enough to be a warrior. Does kicking someone in the head count as being a faggy kicking kicker? Also I'm pretty thin and have long hair. Maybe I should try passing myself off as a woman.

Sin Studly
08-09-2006, 08:09 AM
Kicking people in the head is acceptable when they're lying on the ground.

Endymion
08-09-2006, 08:53 AM
i've got more german blood than irish and i can kick like a mother fucker, so if no one better comes along i'll do it.

Sin Studly
08-09-2006, 10:51 AM
I'm prepared to be a little flexible on the race issue, since my undead minions are supposed to be slaves anyhow.

killer_queen
08-09-2006, 10:55 AM
I'd love to do it if you didn't mind mudskins.

JoY
08-09-2006, 11:38 AM
All the non-virgins can be buried with me. I'd rather spend eternity with girls who know what they're doing.
deal .

BREAK
08-09-2006, 05:41 PM
So, have you named an heir yet?

pathfinder
08-10-2006, 01:26 AM
Kicking people in the head is acceptable when they're lying on the ground.

So what if i just resort to punching.
And only kick somebody when there lying on the ground??
Maybe i can kick out some teeth and make a nice necklace out of them.
How about that.....?

H1T_That
08-10-2006, 10:01 AM
For the male part i fit all criteria. If you will have me, i'll guard.

wheelchairman
08-18-2006, 09:18 AM
I kick like a girl. Sorry. :(

Sin Studly
01-23-2007, 02:35 AM
Here's where calichix can sign up.

calichix
01-23-2007, 02:54 AM
I'm so in there.

Zeall
01-23-2007, 04:12 AM
i'm in, in fact, i'm most of the way there, i'm starving...

Mota Boy
01-23-2007, 08:25 AM
Irish; Jew-ish; busy. Sorry, no can do. But I'll send some warriors/virgins your way as either a wedding or funeral gift, whichever comes first.

Vera
01-23-2007, 01:29 PM
Me, +/- style!

+ Aryan, and not the Polish sort, either!
- Not blond, natural hair colour brownish-sandish.
+ Virgin.
- Fattiez.
- Totally heathen.
- Disgusting fondness for Asian men with small penises.
+ Would have lovecrazy loyalty as a virgin concubine
- ...but probably only for Asian men with small penises.
+ Can speak English with foreign accent.
- ...though admittedly it's probably the ugliest accent out of them all.

JoY
01-23-2007, 01:33 PM
nonononono, you got that all wrong. your accent is the cutest of them all. especially your father's accent is BRILLIANT.

Vera
01-23-2007, 01:36 PM
Finnish accent is dreadful, dude. I only have an edge, thankfully. Dad's is pretty okay for someone with little fluency in his English.

Sin Studly
01-23-2007, 02:49 PM
The whole starving to death thing will fix the fattiezness, the Kurgan burial is generally for heathens only (I'll repent on my deathbed). It's an Asian custom, and combined with my small penis it should be enough to make you all New Orleans for me.

But the accent... oh lordy, the accent. :(

Vera
01-23-2007, 04:34 PM
I can fake a British one. Or an Indian one?

Wolfbutter
01-23-2007, 05:10 PM
No, make it British.

Sin Studly
01-23-2007, 07:07 PM
I can fake a British one. Or an Indian one?

+ Sadism
+ Amazingly heartless sadism
+ Sadism that makes the likes of Draculea and Grozny pale in comparison
+ Sadism so inherently evil it warms my bitter heart

- It'll get you an upper-management position in Hell, and I'll be missing a concubine

Wolfbutter
01-23-2007, 07:20 PM
I never know what the hell Sin Studly is talking about, he uses all these confusing words and terms that are to difficult for me to understand.

Sin Studly
01-23-2007, 07:30 PM
... I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say.... is that you, RXP?

edit ; No, the spelling is too good.

Little_Miss_1565
01-23-2007, 10:53 PM
how white does one have to be?

As white as the driven snow.

As for me:

+ Hot hourglass figure
- Definitely not a virgin
- 1/4 Asian, 1/8 English, 1/8 Irish, 1/4 French Canadian
+ 1/4 Norwegian
- Starving to death gets rid of hot hourglass curviness

So instead, I'll continue what I'm doing, dating around Brooklyn and reading the buddhadharma, being obnoxious and all that fun stuff.

Vera
01-24-2007, 01:36 AM
If you weren't 1/4 Asian, I'd rip your ass for stealing my concubine application format.

But you are, so I'll keep your number in mind in case I ever hang around Brooklyn looking for a booty call.

[/BBS lesbianism]

Sin Studly
01-24-2007, 02:36 PM
Norweigans are the enemy of Australia. Your Irishness and Englishness is more likely to get you admittance.

Little_Miss_1565
01-24-2007, 11:27 PM
If you weren't 1/4 Asian, I'd rip your ass for stealing my concubine application format.

But you are, so I'll keep your number in mind in case I ever hang around Brooklyn looking for a booty call.

[/BBS lesbianism]

Don't think of it as a ripoff, think of it as an homage. :)