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Vera
01-09-2007, 07:22 AM
A Pakistani guy adds me on MSN Messenger, and a friendship forms.


sanni. says:
hello, may i ask who is this?
mohammad says:
hmmm
mohammad says:
i m boy
mohammad says:
and u


First I do the obligatory questioning, but Mohammad is way ahead of me in terms of Internet knowledge.


sanni. says:
...where did you find my address?
mohammad says:
your is add in my server
mohammad says:
server media


He then explains teh internets to me.


sanni. says:
what the hell is micro media?!
mohammad says:
right question
mohammad says:
i like it
mohammad says:
okay
mohammad says:
micromedia is the power to connect the nation nation
sanni. says:
...you mean the internet?


Then we discuss matters of religion, and sex.


sanni. says:
isn't it against your religion to talk to unmarried girls online?
mohammad says:
yes
mohammad says:
hay i m not bad boy
mohammad says:
my heart is very clean
sanni. says:
i don't feel comfortable talking to an unmarried man online so my father is reading this as i type.
sanni. says:
so if you try to rob my virginity he will fly to pakistan and kill you.


Mohammad is unfazed by this paternal threat.


mohammad says:
dont worry
mohammad says:
i m under world king
sanni. says:
oh like shahrukh khan in the movie don? [Bollywood reference: actor Shahrukh Khan plays a badass underworld king in the movie Don. Wow, that was self-explanatory]
mohammad says:
hay just joking
sanni. says:
that's hot but my dad will still kill you if you try to rob my virginity
mohammad says:
hay u see the movies
mohammad says:
hay i dont rob with u \


Mohammad seems to have a problem with me at this point. (Also, I'm sick of editing these convos. sanoo = says in Finnish. Get used to it.)


mohammad sanoo:
i think u are no like friendship with me
sanni. sanoo:
no i'd love to have friendship with you
sanni. sanoo:
we could be porn buddies or something.
mohammad sanoo:
hay i cant love with u
mohammad sanoo:
please try to understand
sanni. sanoo:
mera dil crushed ho gaya, yaar. [My heart became crushed/was crushed, man.]


That's right, folks. With my shitty Urdu/Hindi skills I took some time to converse with Mohammad in his native tongue.


mohammad sanoo:
what
mohammad sanoo:
kaisay [How?]
mohammad sanoo:
howa
mohammad sanoo:
please tell me
sanni. sanoo:
tum zaroor janta.. main tumse pyar karti hu.. sirf tumse [You surely know.. I love you.. Only you.. - Hey, this is the kind of Hindi I *know*. Live with it.]


But Mohammad does not hear my melodramatic love confessions...


mohammad sanoo:
hello i cant love with u
mohammad sanoo:
okay
mohammad sanoo:
or mai kiya janta [And I do know. - or something to that effect.]


He does, however, love somebody else.


sanni. sanoo:
are you in love with someone else?
mohammad sanoo:
yes
mohammad sanoo:
my mom
mohammad sanoo:
my sweet father
sanni. sanoo:
keeping it in the family, huh?


I can never win with these family-loving desi boys..


mohammad sanoo:
no i cant love with any person
mohammad sanoo:
because
sanni. sanoo:
you're a monk or something?
sanni. sanoo:
devoted to allah and sirf allah? [only Allah?]
mohammad sanoo:
mera dil crushed ho gaya, yaar.. [My heart became crushed, man.]
mohammad sanoo:
u right


The women of Pakistan are deprived of Mohammad's love. It's a tragedy. Anyway, Mohammad has another curious moment.


mohammad sanoo:
your religion
sanni. sanoo:
i don't have one.
mohammad sanoo:
oooooopssssss
mohammad sanoo:
okay tell me your favourite
sanni. sanoo:
definitely islam. allah is awesome.


I did only say it to please him. (Yo, Hinduism representin'!) Then my new friend crosses a line.


mohammad sanoo:
if u dont mind i want to see your pic
mohammad sanoo:
please trust me
sanni. sanoo:
my father tells me not to
sanni. sanoo:
he says you might put it on porn sites and have men make love to me in their heads


What happened afterwards wasn't funny or interesting. He said he couldn't force me to show him my pic, he asked if I wanted to see his, I said no and that I preferred to imagine he looked like this really ugly Bollywood actor, he said "haha no i'm not pretty baby" and I was like "In my head you are." Then he had to go and we said goodbye.

And I still don't know where he got my MSN address. Neither have I still blocked him or told him I'm a gay 40 year old. I'm getting soft.

JohnnyNemesis
01-09-2007, 07:29 AM
Alls I know is that I'm hanging my head in shame right now because I knew who Shahrukh Khan was without your explanation :(

Vera
01-09-2007, 07:32 AM
Alls I know is that I'm hanging my head in shame right now because I knew who Shahrukh Khan was without your explanation :(

How come? Any of your ace NYC friends Bollyfans or desis or something?

Ps. Bollywood-knowledge only increases your hotness in my eyes, worry not.

JohnnyNemesis
01-09-2007, 07:37 AM
One of my closest friends in Poughkeepsie (which is north of NYC and where I go to skool [lol with a k], but she doesn't go to this school, she's just a friend I have up here) is big on him so I know a little here and there.

In fact, we've been friends for years, but over the summer she was my boss at this animation/film-making workshop I tutored high-school kids for, and every Monday at lunch she'd bring in some Bollywood for all of us to watch. And I was all like "WIDHSBJDVK grufhcvj f" and she was all like ":D :D :D :D".

Anyway, yeah, I'm hot, take me now.

Oh, and btw, mohammad rules for the nation nation thing, but you should have asked him for a picture of himself. (pics of mohammad are all the rage)

JoY
01-09-2007, 10:01 AM
And I still don't know where he got my MSN address. Neither have I still blocked him or told him I'm a gay 40 year old. I'm getting soft.

hahahahaha!! <33

T-6005
01-09-2007, 10:02 AM
I. Love. This? This!

Sunny
01-09-2007, 10:18 AM
he says you might put it on porn sites and have men make love to me in their heads

ahahah AHAHAH oh my god.

well, no wonder, u r so prety miss snani! <333

Vera
01-09-2007, 10:28 AM
every Monday at lunch she'd bring in some Bollywood for all of us to watch. And I was all like "WIDHSBJDVK grufhcvj f" and she was all like ":D :D :D :D".

Anyway, yeah, I'm hot, take me now.

Oh, and btw, mohammad rules for the nation nation thing, but you should have asked him for a picture of himself. (pics of mohammad are all the rage)

Poor you. I like Shahrukh, occasionally even a lot, but some of his fans are megafrustrating in acting like he's the only Indian movie star worth seeing in movies and like everyone should luv him like nothing else. I'm sure your friend's not one of those, though, and if she is, well, then she must have a good heart otherwise. :P

*takes yoo*

LUL Mohammed pix. I never even thought of that. My comedy skills fail.

He called me "Miss Sanni" at some point. WTF is it with foreign guys.

HornyPope
01-09-2007, 12:36 PM
Whatta bitchu.

Sunny
01-09-2007, 01:27 PM
LUL Mohammed pix. I never even thought of that. My comedy skills fail.


o nos u said fail! so dumb and stupid! :mad: :eek: :rolleyes:

Nina
01-09-2007, 02:19 PM
I cant believe you put up with that for so long!
So, are you guys planning on chatting frequently from now on :cool:

Llamas
01-09-2007, 02:44 PM
He called me "Miss Sanni" at some point. WTF is it with foreign guys.

One of my students from Ethiopia used to always call me "Miss Brianna". Caused him some great confusion when we learned what the "mis-" prefix means, and started talking about how it means "bad". haha.

Lodat225
01-09-2007, 02:58 PM
That can't be someone real. Probably a Bot because he repeated too many things WAYYY too frequently.

0r4ng3
01-09-2007, 04:09 PM
One of my students from Ethiopia used to always call me "Miss Brianna". Caused him some great confusion when we learned what the "mis-" prefix means, and started talking about how it means "bad". haha.
I was once called Miss Jesse. I think everyone involved was confused.

JohnnyNemesis
01-09-2007, 04:13 PM
That can't be someone real. Probably a Bot because he repeated too many things WAYYY too frequently.

Or someone who speaks English as a second language, obviously.


Poor you. I like Shahrukh, occasionally even a lot, but some of his fans are megafrustrating in acting like he's the only Indian movie star worth seeing in movies and like everyone should luv him like nothing else. I'm sure your friend's not one of those, though, and if she is, well, then she must have a good heart otherwise. :P

Haha, naw. She's not one of those. She's the real deal. You'd prolly like her.


Whatta bitchu.

I approve.

Llamas
01-09-2007, 06:01 PM
That can't be someone real. Probably a Bot because he repeated too many things WAYYY too frequently.
Have you ever spoken with a person who's learning ESL? No? STFU. Try it sometime, especially with someone from Africa or the middle east, and then you will realize that ESL people do talk like that.


I was once called Miss Jesse. I think everyone involved was confused.
lawlz. <3

Lodat225
01-09-2007, 07:18 PM
Have you ever spoken with a person who's learning ESL? No? STFU. Try it sometime, especially with someone from Africa or the middle east, and then you will realize that ESL people do talk like that.


lawlz. <3

Of course i've had. My friend is Asian and he's in ESL. And i didn't know "ESL" people talked like that, because i haven't met anyone that talks like that.

RickyCrack
01-09-2007, 07:19 PM
Of course i've had. My friend is Asian and he's in ESL. And i didn't know "ESL" people talked like that, because i haven't met anyone that talks like that.

Silly white boy. Now, who's close minded.

T-6005
01-09-2007, 07:20 PM
Have you ever spoken with a person who's learning ESL? No? STFU. Try it sometime, especially with someone from Africa or the middle east, and then you will realize that ESL people do talk like that.
You've all talked to a person who's been in ESL.

lawlz. 3 months yo.

Lodat225
01-09-2007, 07:20 PM
Silly white boy. Now, who's close minded.
Still you. I said:



That can't be someone real. Probably a Bot because he repeated too many things WAYYY too frequently.

You see the probably? Yeah, i think you do.

RickyCrack
01-09-2007, 07:22 PM
And i didn't know "ESL" people talked like that, because i haven't met anyone that talks like that.

Holy crap you're retarded, and totally missed the point that you sound like a stuck up white boy from the suburbs that's never met a foreign person that's in the process of lrning english.

T-6005
01-09-2007, 07:23 PM
You see the probably? Yeah, i think you do.
The funny thing about "probably" is that idiots believe it's some sort of excuse for their assumptions.

JohnnyNemesis
01-09-2007, 07:28 PM
Holy crap you're retarded, and totally missed the point that you sound like a stuck up white boy from the suburbs that's never met a foreign person that's in the process of lrning english.

Quoted for incredible truth.

Lodat225
01-09-2007, 07:32 PM
The funny thing about "probably" is that idiots believe it's some sort of excuse for their assumptions.

You do know that when i said probably, i meant probably.



Holy crap you're retarded, and totally missed the point that you sound like a stuck up white boy from the suburbs that's never met a foreign person that's in the process of lrning english.

Ha, don't get your panties in a bunch. You sad 'cause us stuck up kids will have way more money than you would ever had?

JohnnyNemesis
01-09-2007, 07:34 PM
Ha, don't get your panties in a bunch. You sad 'cause us stuck up kids will have way more money than you would ever had?

Buy a grammar textbook with all that money, retard.

FYI, he's not sad about the money you have. He's sad that people as unbelievably stupid as you exist. That was...kind of obvious from his post. Too bad you're too fucking stupid to have picked up on that, you fucking toolbox.

Jeez. You really are fucking stupid.

Lodat225
01-09-2007, 07:37 PM
Buy a grammar textbook with all that money, retard.

FYI, he's not sad about the money you have. He's sad that people as unbelievably stupid as you exist. That was...kind of obvious from his post. Too bad you're too fucking stupid to have picked up on that, you fucking toolbox.

Jeez. You really are fucking stupid.

At least i could afford one.

JohnnyNemesis
01-09-2007, 07:40 PM
Damn, got me there. None of us can afford grammar textbooks! (http://www.amazon.com/Introduction-Grammar-Cambridge-Textbooks-Linguistics/dp/0521297044/sr=8-1/qid=1168396774/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-1782139-0384832?ie=UTF8&s=books)

Please, massa, could you please spare one after you buy that Bentley?

Lodat225
01-09-2007, 07:41 PM
Damn, got me there. None of us can afford grammar textbooks! (http://www.amazon.com/Introduction-Grammar-Cambridge-Textbooks-Linguistics/dp/0521297044/sr=8-1/qid=1168396774/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-1782139-0384832?ie=UTF8&s=books)

Please, massa, could you please spare one after you buy that Bentley?

Stroke a nerve 'cause you would never leave your cheap, low-rate apartment?

JohnnyNemesis
01-09-2007, 07:43 PM
I live in a house now.

And the most you've done to strike a nerve is revert to this insecure pile of shit you've become in this thread. Seeing it is embarrassing to watch.

You were so much better when you were sticking up for yourself because you actually felt you were right and admitting you were stupid (thus disarming people like me who point it out), not falling back on your parents income when you felt insecure.

Stop.

Lodat225
01-09-2007, 07:46 PM
I'm talking about money 'cause you and Rickycrack brought it up. You want me to stop? I will.

JohnnyNemesis
01-09-2007, 07:49 PM
RickyCrack brought it up, not I. But nah, keep talking about it. It's funny to think about how once you finish being a complete failure at some 7th rate animation school, you'll be a 30-year old idiot loser living in those wonderful riches your parents worked for (the very riches you're attempting to use against us now) while the rest of us do our various whatever the hell we do.

Or, y'know, we could stop ruining Sanni's thread.

Lodat225
01-09-2007, 07:54 PM
RickyCrack brought it up, not I. But nah, keep talking about it. It's funny to think about how once you finish being a complete failure at some 7th rate animation school, you'll be a 30-year old idiot loser living in those wonderful riches your parents worked for (the very riches you're attempting to use against us now) while the rest of us do our various whatever the hell we do.

Or, y'know, we could stop ruining Sanni's thread.

I agree with the last sentence, the rest- hahaha, sure. That's exactly what i'll do cause even though i do go to a 7th rate school i'll have more money than you would ever have while you're slaving away.

0r4ng3
01-09-2007, 07:57 PM
I agree with the last sentence, the rest- hahaha, sure. That's exactly what i'll do cause even though i do go to a 7th rate school i'll have more money than you would ever have while you're slaving away.
Because of the rich parents, thus proving his point.

Even so, the key adjective was "white" and/or "suburban", not "rich". All of you have to stop dragging money into this.

Lodat225
01-09-2007, 07:59 PM
You're right. I'll stop.

Edit: Well, my parents worked for it... so who cares.

Llamas
01-09-2007, 08:51 PM
You know what lodat? Rickycrack and I were the people who were originally arguing with you about the ESL learners... I'm sure your family has no more money than either of ours do. Also, rickycrack and I are both white, just like you. Calling you a Silly white boy isn't insulting you for being white... it's insulting you for being the stereotypically ignorant white boy who doesn't see anything outside his middle class white american family.

You remind me of venom in a lot of ways.

RickyCrack
01-09-2007, 09:06 PM
What's a black person?

Llamas
01-09-2007, 09:12 PM
I think they're those subhumans that live in Egypt or something, and their brains are less developed than us white people.

RickyCrack
01-09-2007, 09:13 PM
I've never met one before, do they really live in tribes in huts? They should have rich parents so they can have internets and stuff. Black people are weird.

Sinister
01-09-2007, 09:17 PM
This thread is gold. Keep it up.

Llamas
01-09-2007, 09:20 PM
I've never met one before, do they really live in tribes in huts? They should have rich parents so they can have internets and stuff. Black people are weird.
I don't know about huts, but they walk to school barefoot and don't have any shirts. They also write on leaves with chalk, because they don't have pencils. Also, I hear they don't know English!

Sin Studly
01-09-2007, 11:37 PM
^ Nah, those are bots.

Vera
01-10-2007, 02:29 AM
I blocked him but didn't delete him so now I can see him online. Tempting ...but no.

His real username included his last name but I edited it out for maximum Mohammed lulz or basically just because I wanted to protect his terrorist identity.

JohnnyNemesis
01-10-2007, 10:11 AM
You just wanted to protect his identity. You're much nicer than you ever want any of us to know, but ohh, I know.

I drilled my tip of love into your warm heart until I struck blood.

Lodat225
01-10-2007, 02:18 PM
This thread is gold. Keep it up.

Your triforce sucks.

Nina
01-10-2007, 03:56 PM
I was once called Miss Jesse. I think everyone involved was confused.



His real username included his last name but I edited it out for maximum Mohammed lulz or basically just because I wanted to protect his terrorist identity.

I'm so glad I got back to reading this thread.

Also: I suggest that everyone puts that idiot on their ignore list, like I haavvee.

Llamas
01-10-2007, 04:03 PM
Which idiot? There are too many. :(

Nina
01-10-2007, 04:03 PM
lollololol

p.s.email!

Llamas
01-10-2007, 04:04 PM
The sad part is, it was a serious question. :-P

PS: Okay!!

Lodat225
01-10-2007, 04:17 PM
The sad part is, it was a serious question. :-P

PS: Okay!!

Wowwwww. Are you serious?

Llamas
01-10-2007, 04:22 PM
No, but it's nice to see that you realize you're an idiot.

Lodat225
01-10-2007, 04:24 PM
No, but it's nice to see that you realize you're an idiot.
Yes. I know i'm an idiot. I'm not denying. And yes, you were serious.

http://offspring.com/forums/profile.php?do=addlist&userlist=ignore&u=11343

Also, daaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn. Look at my sexy infraction. ;)

Llamas
01-10-2007, 04:34 PM
The serious part was about the fact that there are too many idiots. But whatever, I *really* care... and why did you link to the ignore list page? We all do know how to do that... I have one person on my list and it will stay that way.

Lodat225
01-10-2007, 04:36 PM
The sad part is, it was a serious question. :-P

PS: Okay!!



Wowwwww. Are you serious?

I asked if you were serious about asking that, and you were.


No, but it's nice to see that you realize you're an idiot.

You said no. The link was to me.

WebDudette
01-10-2007, 05:25 PM
Still you. I said:




You see the probably? Yeah, i think you do.

I'm a little late on this one and it's kind of pathetic, but you also said 'That can't be a real person.' If your going to use some pussy cop out by bringing up probably, I'm going to point that out.

JohnnyNemesis
01-10-2007, 05:31 PM
Lodat + the people who argue with him (and, of course, I'm talking about myself too) tend to ruin every thread with his fucking idiocy. I suggest we continue contributing whatever we feel but try not to let it get dragged out. It's something I always do though, but I'll work on it.

Lodat225
01-10-2007, 05:57 PM
I'm a little late on this one and it's kind of pathetic, but you also said 'That can't be a real person.' If your going to use some pussy cop out by bringing up probably, I'm going to point that out.

Ok? I still said probably.

@ JohnnyNemesis: Well, if i say something wrong (which is most of the time) you act like its the end of the world.