View Full Version : Mardi Gras > your mom

Mota Boy
02-18-2007, 01:52 AM
Why I love New Orleans:

So, long story short, I reach New Orleans (believe me, it's a long fucking story), and the interstate into the city is an elevated, cop-free romp through an urban cityscape that rivals any shit you've played on whatever-gen console you or your friends possess. Almost immediately after I pull off the exit to my hotel, I suddenly have to swerve into the other lane as the car ahead of me jerks to the side of the road while their streetside rear door flies open, followed immediately by a blond head thrusting out into the city to puke. I veer into the other lane, thanking whatever I believe in that there's not a car there, and as I careen back into the proper lane I simultaneously slam on the breaks at the stoplight, allowing me half a minute to observe a man pissing on the side of a building (and he did take at least half a minute), as willingly-oblivious pedestrians stumble by. Finally, after bending various traffic rules (some in front of cops) and avoiding street-walking pedestrians I reach my hotel. My entrance, however, is blocked by a car full of brightly-dressed African-Americans blasting rap music. My own windows are down as I myself have been blasting Teddybears (now turned down as I'm anticipating entering my hotel). The driver looks at me for a millisecond before saying "Hey guy, what's up?" I shoot back "Not much man, how are y'all tonight." There's a bit of a pause (perhaps he was expecting me to be more taken aback) before he delivers "Don't worry, we ain't gonna shoot ya". I crack up and he hits the gas, allowing me to enter, narrowly avoiding a trio of middle-aged white women boogieing down to his blasting bass.

And that was my first five minutes in the city tonight. Were I to expand upon the night's adventures, I'd be cutting into necessary sleep, as I'm meeting family and friends for brunch tomorrow at 9:30. Brunch complete with eggs Benedict, crayfish omelettes and, yes, a fully-stocked open bar. New Orleans rocks your world and you don't even fucking know it yet.

02-18-2007, 07:50 AM
The closest i ever got to Mardi Gras was a gay 8th grade dance.


02-18-2007, 08:14 AM
On Mardis gras we eat PANCAKES!!!!

Hey Mota Boy you should become a short story writer!!

Mota Boy
02-19-2007, 12:07 AM
Forgive Me for Blogging; or New Orleans on One Vignette a Night

Everyone else passed out by twelve. My parents were mocking us as we headed up before midnight - "We outlasted y'all! Hahahahah!" I told them that I, at least, wasn't done yet. My mom nodded at me and said "Well, I expected that of you."

I got my brother Princess Mononoke for his birthday, as I figured that would be a last push to turn him on to anime (he refused to watch "Spirited Away" when I forced it on the rest of the family). Lo and behold, it worked. We climbed into our twin beds as I turned it on at just around midnight. He only lasted twenty minutes, but that was expected - he never can watch a movie the whole way through after a certain hour - but he was charged by what he saw. As for me, I soon got hungry and restless. I wanted a little to eat. I wanted a little adventure. My clothes were so near the bed that I literally stepped into my pants as I got up.

I found my standard corndog stand a couple blocks away. They charged five dollars. I hasselled them for it and got a cigarette bonus for my troubles. I borrowed fire from someone on the street and walked back. On the way I picked up a milk crate - I want to use it later to stand upon and claim the end of the world is upon us. Since it's Mardi Gras this should only be fun for me and the normal craziness for any passersby. Sick from the nicotine and alcohol flowing through me, I decided, shit, I'll stop by the adjacent casino. Outside a girl was trying to hail a cab. I volunteered help but she was muy sospecho, even calling me an ass before ultimately hedging; she realized my offer may have, in fact, been genuine and she apologized. Just before entering Harrah's, I realized it'd be a bit awkward fishing out my ID with a crate in my right hand.

I searched in vain for slots that would take a dollar (with only a Grant and a couple Washington's on you it's difficult to be a high roller), but the minimum was five for all. As I was heading out I saw a "three card poker" table with a fifteen dollar buy-in and thought "Fuck it" before plopping down. Apparently you can't eat and gamble simultaneously, for some reason. The boss was right behind the dealer, which made bending the rules even more difficult than usual. I lowered the corndog below the table and smiled hopefully. The boss chortled and moved on and I got to play. "I'd better not see a spot of mustard on those cards!" Fifteen dollar ante. I announced that I wanted to lose fifteen dollars and leave. She shot back "Well, you can either lose or win, don't you hope to win?" I got a king of hearts and two diamonds. I don't know how to play three card poker, but the dealer advised me that if I had above a queen I should stay in. Staying in, apparently, requires fifteen more dollars. I replied "Just barely", plopped down fifteen more dollars (now in chip form) and rode. She had a jack high. Boo-fuckin'-ya. I now have eighty bucks. I toss her a five chip and cash out, now fifty percent richer than when I entered. As I exit, the milk crate is exactly where I left it. I pick it up and make my way back, managing to tell my tale twice in one block before I enter the lobby.

02-19-2007, 05:05 AM
Mardis Gras is on a tuesday (always) and it's tomorrow!!! so is it actually on a monday and considered a holiday in the us? if it is... it's weird, and for me it's just Pancake day and nothing else.... maybe it has something to do with religion or whatever happened back in the middle ages or something....

Mardi Gras (French for "Fat Tuesday") is the day before Ash Wednesday, and is also called "Shrove Tuesday" or "Pancake Day".

I guess in france we might have a carnival or something, but its not a national holiday...

oh well.... all I can say is I WANT MY NICE FRENCH PANCAKES

but I won't have any because I'm lasy

Mota Boy
02-19-2007, 03:56 PM
Actually, New Orleans Mardi Gras (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Orleans_Mardi_Gras) is celebrated for weeks before Fat Tuesday, with parades, balls and festivities starting in earnest two weeks before Fat Tuesday, each night getting progressively more raucous, until it breaks out into a full-fledged, twenty-four hour freak show the Friday before.

02-19-2007, 04:39 PM
Someone on the sales team here at work spoke to a real estate agent down there who said they were out til 6am and can't talk because they lost their voice screaming for beads all night.

02-20-2007, 02:06 PM
wow you are just like the english who celebrate bonfire night 3 weeks before the 5th of July.... well I guess it means you party for quite a long time... I didnt even bother with the pancakes today, my flatmates were having some but I didnt want to sit around with them and wait politely to eat with them so I squipped that...

02-20-2007, 03:53 PM
Wow, New Orleans is like the one cool American city.