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Mota Boy
02-27-2007, 02:46 PM
The concept came to me when I was at work last weekend. Ladies, try to control yourself.


Your mother would fucking love me

I am the type of guy that mothers fucking love. Iím an employed, well-educated recent college graduate looking at grad school. Iím well-traveled and I speak multiple foreign languages. I know the difference between a salad fork and a dinner fork. Mrs. Manners ainít got nothiní on me Ė my dinner etiquette is so good Iíd practically make the bitch cream herself. I love to dance, and I look fucking great in a suit.

Want me to meet the family? Iím not scared. By the end of the trip, theyíll practically want to fucking adopt me. Iím from a small town in the South, so Iíve got that ďSouthern gentlemanĒ bullshit going on. Iím polite, well-kept, courteous and respectful Ė Iíll call your parents ďsirĒ and ďmaíamĒ Ė theyíll fucking eat that shit right up. Got a sister? Parade me around in front of her and make the bitch jealous without worrying about a damn thing Ė Iíll only metaphorically charm her panties off. Got a brother? Not only will I use my social jujitsu to disarm his natural protectiveness, by the time Iím through with him heíll damn near be gay for me. Speaking of which, gay cousin? Donít worry, I wonít care. Iíll go out clubbing with the fag, and Iíll even laugh it off when he drunkenly tries to play grabass with me at the end of the night. Small children? Iím fan-fucking-tastic with the little bastards. Hell, when the rest of the family sees how good I am with them, theyíll beg you start shitting out kids with me ASAP.

You must be witty and intelligent. No fat chicks.

T-6005
02-27-2007, 03:06 PM
Holly read this, asked me your name, and left for "wherever he is."

HeadAroundU
02-27-2007, 06:04 PM
Since I have a pound puppy piercing they fucking love me too.

HornyPope
02-27-2007, 06:33 PM
I knew there was a really good reason I liked Holly so much.

Mota Boy, you haven't met my mother. She wouldn't like ANYONE. And I'm growing to be just like that!

-Iz

Mota Boy
02-27-2007, 07:26 PM
Thank God I got to you in time.

Revolver-2005?
02-27-2007, 07:40 PM
I look fucking great in a suit

I don't know why but after that all I could picture was a chimp in a suit.

coke_a_holic
02-27-2007, 08:15 PM
Oh, sure, not because he's black, right?

T-6005
02-27-2007, 08:22 PM
I knew there was a really good reason I liked Holly so much.
She didn't really say that. I made it up in a bad attempt to be funny. It's been a few days since there's been anything worthwhile to read, so I was elated and reacted like I've been holding BBSjoy in.

HornyPope
02-27-2007, 08:30 PM
Smack that bitch up.

Hi Jewholly, still friends?

Apathy
02-27-2007, 08:32 PM
It this ad worked in the way it's meant to it would have five less comments from different guys and more than one comment from a female.

And the one that posted is taken, too.

HornyPope
02-27-2007, 08:36 PM
Mota Boy is quite the queerbait.

sKratch
02-27-2007, 08:56 PM
Must've been the plan all along....

JohnnyNemesis
02-27-2007, 09:27 PM
WHATTA HOMOS.

etc.

Mota Boy
02-27-2007, 11:51 PM
It this ad worked in the way it's meant to it would have five less comments from different guys and more than one comment from a female.Well, at this point it's like reading off "SWM seeks quirky girl who likes skinny dipping and throwing pine cones at drunks." at your senior prom. The entire point of a personals ad is to hang it out there amongst strangers and see who nibbles. Right now I'm only preaching to the converted.

eliezer_iero
02-28-2007, 12:01 AM
The concept came to me when I was at work last weekend. Ladies, try to control yourself.


Your mother would fucking love me

I am the type of guy that mothers fucking love. Iím an employed, well-educated recent college graduate looking at grad school. Iím well-traveled and I speak multiple foreign languages. I know the difference between a salad fork and a dinner fork. Mrs. Manners ainít got nothiní on me Ė my dinner etiquette is so good Iíd practically make the bitch cream herself. I love to dance, and I look fucking great in a suit.

Want me to meet the family? Iím not scared. By the end of the trip, theyíll practically want to fucking adopt me. Iím from a small town in the South, so Iíve got that ďSouthern gentlemanĒ bullshit going on. Iím polite, well-kept, courteous and respectful Ė Iíll call your parents ďsirĒ and ďmaíamĒ Ė theyíll fucking eat that shit right up. Got a sister? Parade me around in front of her and make the bitch jealous without worrying about a damn thing Ė Iíll only metaphorically charm her panties off. Got a brother? Not only will I use my social jujitsu to disarm his natural protectiveness, by the time Iím through with him heíll damn near be gay for me. Speaking of which, gay cousin? Donít worry, I wonít care. Iíll go out clubbing with the fag, and Iíll even laugh it off when he drunkenly tries to play grabass with me at the end of the night. Small children? Iím fan-fucking-tastic with the little bastards. Hell, when the rest of the family sees how good I am with them, theyíll beg you start shitting out kids with me ASAP.

You must be witty and intelligent. No fat chicks.

I'd say you gotta be gay or something!

T-6005
02-28-2007, 12:02 AM
I'd say you gotta be gay or something!
For a guy that's apparently been gone so long, you sure do seem incredibly intent on coming back.

Mota Boy
02-28-2007, 12:15 AM
I'd say you gotta be gay or something!You're really making a good case for your own worthlessness. A few more generic replies like that and you'll have a solid lock on me not giving a shit about you or your opinions.

eliezer_iero
02-28-2007, 01:54 AM
You're really making a good case for your own worthlessness. A few more generic replies like that and you'll have a solid lock on me not giving a shit about you or your opinions.

Don't take it too seriously man. It's a joke and if it offended you I shall apologize, I knew this would turn out in a big misunderstanding since it was kinda offensive. An offensive and probably very bad joke I'd say.

Anyway, if what your ad says is totally true then (being serious) I must congratulate you for doing so well haha. Keep it up like that man. Pretty cool profile.

I beg you to pardon me for the incident.

Paint_It_Black
02-28-2007, 02:02 AM
He doesn't care if you're "offensive". He cares that you lack wit and personality.

A+ to the rest of the thread, especially T's initial reply.

Little_Miss_1565
02-28-2007, 05:26 AM
Eliezer--shut it, tryhard.

DeAtHsTaR
02-28-2007, 08:46 AM
I love how the expanses of the vocabulary of 75% of members here is "Fail," "Win," "Tryhard," and "Go Die."

wheelchairman
02-28-2007, 08:50 AM
I love how the expanses of the vocabulary of 75% of members here is "Fail," "Win," "Tryhard," and "Go Die."

As opposed to their vocabulary being word for word copies of someone else's post?

Zeall
02-28-2007, 08:54 AM
As opposed to their vocabulary being word for word copies of someone else's post?

As opposed to their vocabulary being word for word copies of someone else's post?

sorry, couldn't resist

DeAtHsTaR
02-28-2007, 09:04 AM
As opposed to their vocabulary being word for word copies of someone else's post?
That happened twice, over a year ago. I have to give it you though, I smiled.


As opposed to their vocabulary being word for word copies of someone else's post?

sorry, couldn't resist

Fail.


See how lame that sounds?

Zeall
02-28-2007, 09:06 AM
Fail.


See how lame that sounds?

looking back on it, yeah i do....

calichix
02-28-2007, 09:16 AM
you really are the perfect specimen of a man, claibia. you're a southern fried hunk.

eliezer_iero
02-28-2007, 11:41 AM
Tryhard? What shall I try hard for?
Is there any specific group that I should want to join here?
Because, I mean, you don't get shit for coming here, you know? I don't know what's your perception of reality since in a board there's no need to show anything or prove anything.
Just fucking crucify your ego. If I apologized is because I don't like to be in trouble with anyone. Is there something wrong with it? I like peace.
What do you like? And that's for everyone.

Little_Miss_1565
02-28-2007, 12:18 PM
You are trying hard to be funny and liked. This results in the opposite.

eliezer_iero
02-28-2007, 12:21 PM
So, making a joke (wether is funny or not) defines me as a tryhard?
Show me more of my jokes then, cause as far as I can remember, this one was the first joke (not a serious comment) I've made here.

edit: typo.

calichix
02-28-2007, 12:25 PM
UH, I believe this thread is exclusively about clabia's studliness. show some respek.

Paint_It_Black
02-28-2007, 01:56 PM
I love how the expanses of the vocabulary

Fail.

So much fail.

DeAtHsTaR
02-28-2007, 03:57 PM
looking back on it, yeah i do....

I wasn't talking to you in particular, I was driving home the point that "fail" is fucking stupid.

DeAtHsTaR
02-28-2007, 03:58 PM
Fail.

So much fail.

Do you talk like that in real life??? No, you don't.


At least I hope you don't.

wheelchairman
02-28-2007, 04:21 PM
Why do you need to write how you speak?

Lodat225
02-28-2007, 04:48 PM
because it's what cool people do.

eliezer_iero
02-28-2007, 07:25 PM
It is what makes sense, at least.

sKratch
02-28-2007, 10:26 PM
UH, I believe this thread is exclusively about clabia's studliness. show some respek.

Clabia is a most excellent nickname.

And I agree that "fail" posts are generally retarded, and they make me sad.

Mota Boy
02-28-2007, 11:14 PM
Ah, remember back when this was a good thread? I recall those days fondly. They were a good times, happy times. As some of you might say, times of "win". Let's all take a minute or so to quietly reflect back to a better time.

killer_queen
03-01-2007, 08:05 AM
Hmmm, I'm not so sure. My mother is pretty stupid, I think. And since she doesn't like me I don't think she can tell the difference between an intelligent, great person and a piece of shit. So you fail on my mother's side.

My dad, on the other hand, wouldn't care about being called sir or what fork you use for eating salad. He loves almost anyone who is cultured, loves to read and you know, that kind of stuff. He wouldn't like the idea of me having a man in my life, though.

And my brother, who can also be counted as a gay cousin doesn't give a flying fuck about my life. He wouldn't even meet you.

All of the other women in my family, yes, they would love you. Just because they're really desperate.

Me? It's just sad and kinda lame but I've never liked the type of guys that mothers fucking love.

HeadAroundU
03-01-2007, 08:32 AM
Gulsah, you have the same parental configuration as I have except that my mom likes me.

Paint_It_Black
03-01-2007, 09:19 AM
Me? It's just sad and kinda lame but I've never liked the type of guys that mothers fucking love.

You're young. You like the bad boys. The danger and excitement. Mothers didn't like the kind of guys mothers fucking love until they grew up and became mothers. In other words, your taste will probably change as you grow older, most likely experiencing disappointment and heartbreak along the way until you see the value in choosing the "safe" guys.

killer_queen
03-01-2007, 09:32 AM
That was harsh. It's like telling a 5-year-old child that Santa doesn't really exist.

JohnnyNemesis
03-01-2007, 09:45 AM
In other words, your taste will probably change as you grow older, most likely experiencing disappointment and heartbreak along the way until you see the value in choosing the "safe" guys.

And this is when the those of us who aren't total woman-beating assholes say "PRNK N U" and "lol".

Paint_It_Black
03-01-2007, 09:47 AM
That was harsh. It's like telling a 5-year-old child that Santa doesn't really exist.

Nah, it's more like telling an adult that Jesus doesn't really exist. They'll get all defensive but ultimately ignore you.

Kids at least listen to what you say.

calichix
03-01-2007, 11:00 AM
I find that women who have a major gnardon for bad boyzz tend to faithfully choose to be with scumbags their entire lives. But then again, there's a difference between the bad boy with a soft side as seen on Monster Ballads commercials and a wife-beater junkie skeezoid as seen on Cheaters and in discount grocery stores.

On that note, how much does the "Food Maxx" jingle rule? Furthermore, Washington Mutual are dickweeds for changing their slogan from "''Cause Washinton Mutual rocks!'" to "..wamu..".

Mota Boy
03-01-2007, 01:43 PM
Me? It's just sad and kinda lame but I've never liked the type of guys that mothers fucking love.Well, the language undermined the "nice guy" schtick, hinting that there's more than a squeaky-clean resume, but I get your point. Even then though, the "ad" works, as I've found that girls looking for "bad boys" are more immature than I'm looking for (though the definition of a "bad boy" likely differs greatly when comparing college students and recent grads in secular Western society and high schoolers in secular Middle-Eastern society).

sKratch
03-01-2007, 02:06 PM
I find that women who have a major gnardon for bad boyzz tend to faithfully choose to be with scumbags their entire lives. But then again, there's a difference between the bad boy with a soft side as seen on Monster Ballads commercials and a wife-beater junkie skeezoid as seen on Cheaters and in discount grocery stores.

On that note, how much does the "Food Maxx" jingle rule? Furthermore, Washington Mutual are dickweeds for changing their slogan from "''Cause Washinton Mutual rocks!'" to "..wamu..".

Can we go on a date some time? I won't hold your hand unless you want me to :o
(In other words, I agree with you as usual and I love the way you phrased it.)

calichix
03-01-2007, 03:13 PM
one thousand times yes, stephawn! <3!!

Paint_It_Black
03-01-2007, 03:48 PM
I find that women who have a major gnardon for bad boyzz tend to faithfully choose to be with scumbags their entire lives.

Yeah, I've seen that too. But teenage girls often grow out of it.

Betty
03-02-2007, 12:28 AM
I like how you describe yourself as "employed" now. You just figured this out about yourself last weekend?

I'm pretty confident that my family would like any guy I brought home, at least to some degree, because I like awesome people. Perhaps more importantly though, my guy would have to like my family... they're kinda like the Simpsons when Lisa brings her high class husband (fiance?) home in that one episode... or like the family on Your Big Fat Greek Wedding...

killer_queen
03-02-2007, 04:11 AM
Well, the language undermined the "nice guy" schtick, hinting that there's more than a squeaky-clean resume, but I get your point. Even then though, the "ad" works, as I've found that girls looking for "bad boys" are more immature than I'm looking for (though the definition of a "bad boy" likely differs greatly when comparing college students and recent grads in secular Western society and high schoolers in secular Middle-Eastern society).

Actually I've never said that I liked "bad boys". Richard said that. Obviously he knows very little about young girls. What I don't like is men being so perfect at everything. It just doesn't sound manly to me. It doesn't mean that I want someone with a motorbike and a leather jacket to beat me everyday.

JoY
03-02-2007, 04:27 AM
Holly read this, asked me your name, and left for "wherever he is."
*giggles* I like that chick already.


As opposed to their vocabulary being word for word copies of someone else's post?
ohhh, game. set. match.


I find that women who have a major gnardon for bad boyzz tend to faithfully choose to be with scumbags their entire lives. But then again, there's a difference between the bad boy with a soft side as seen on Monster Ballads commercials and a wife-beater junkie skeezoid as seen on Cheaters and in discount grocery stores.

posts like these make me look forward to the day you'll be in Amsterdam even more. I <3 how you said that & were right at the same time.


It doesn't mean that I want someone with a motorbike and a leather jacket to beat me everyday.
*cracks up* hahaha, oh chika.. <333

Paint_It_Black
03-02-2007, 05:42 AM
Obviously he knows very little about young girls.

It's true, I do know far more about young boys.

wheelchairman
03-02-2007, 05:48 AM
It's true, I do know far more about young boys.

BOYS? I thought I was the only one. :(

Mota Boy
03-02-2007, 07:31 AM
I like how you describe yourself as "employed" now.Part-time counts!

Plus, I'd like to see anyone else who got promoted their second week on the job. I'm climbing the corporate ladder so fast I'm getting a rung burn.