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View Full Version : england kinda sucks.



calichix
03-01-2007, 12:24 PM
I've been here for almost a month. it's windy, people don't smile, their juice has sweetener in it, the food is beyond heinous, you'll be shmoozin with a studmuffin then when you zero in on his mouth you can't help but exclaim, "JESUS CHRIST!", and it's just so frustrating being in the grocery store. english people go grocery shopping like they're shopping for the last groceries on the planet.

but england only KIND OF sucks because they do have lots of rainbows, the old people are a lot sweeter and more friendly than american old people, the countryside is beautiful, the ocean is beautiful (and chalky), people are really generous about buying drinks, they've got a lot of £1 stores that sell blow up sex dolls and things, the construction workers are foxy, and they have a real estate agency called lampons.

Grabbal
03-01-2007, 12:31 PM
I envy you.!

HornyPope
03-01-2007, 12:32 PM
England woulda been a lot better if it wasn't for the English people.

Whiplash
03-01-2007, 12:32 PM
Hahaha, i second that.

Grabbal
03-01-2007, 12:42 PM
Old people sounds better in England though..

Vera
03-01-2007, 01:16 PM
Welcome to the world outside California.

This time of the year, everything sucks and everyone's grumpy.

Sin Studly
03-01-2007, 01:26 PM
Welcome to the world outside California.

Quoted for truth. It's not that the English never smile, it's that Californians walk around with this horribly creepy "I can't move my lips because I've had 18 face-lifts" smile cemented on their face, and everyone acts like they just got invaded by bodysnatchers or something. I live in the only city in the world Salman Rushdie refused to live in for being too "horror-movie creepy", and California even creeps me the fuck out.

Welcome to the real world.

Mota Boy
03-01-2007, 01:30 PM
Personally, I thought London had some of the best food I ate while I was in Europe. Of course, I avoided the places that served native cuisine.

Sin Studly
03-01-2007, 01:38 PM
English food is fucking awesome, and nothing is better than a full English breakfast, although I hear the places that serve it in England suck. But homecooked English fare is fucking fantastic, unless you're some squeamish faggot who won't eat offal. Since you're a good ol' boy I'd have thought that wouldn't be a problem.

calichix
03-01-2007, 01:41 PM
I'm miles away from london. it's nothing BUT native cuisine. it's very very english.

it's true, as a californian I CANNOT make eye contact with someone and not smile, especially after working in retail. I keep reminding myself not to but it's so hard not to molest strangers with friendliness. we are a creepy, smiley people. we are pleasant conversation machines. but it's not true that people don't smile elsewhere. I never noticed a lack of smilage in spain, nicaragua, malta, italy, sicily, or greece. the spanish are a very smiley people too.

The Talking Pie
03-01-2007, 01:44 PM
What city are you in?

calichix
03-01-2007, 01:50 PM
brighton. it's very very gay. so that helps.

The Talking Pie
03-01-2007, 01:52 PM
You know, I don't think that I've ever been to Brighton.

England's great, really. If you just ignore all of the people and all the concrete...

calichix
03-01-2007, 01:57 PM
it's not really that industrial here. it's beautiful. although it seems like the powers that be designed the landscape for suicide. there's all these chalk cliffs. if you rolled off the edge you wouldn't bounce off a thing.

Sin Studly
03-01-2007, 01:59 PM
but it's not true that people don't smile elsewhere. I never noticed a lack of smilage in spain, nicaragua, malta, italy, sicily, or greece. the spanish are a very smiley people too.

Maybe it's just us from the old Empire who don't act like grinning idiots. But man, I spend my entire time in California wondering if people were smiling because they were about to beat the crap out of me for no reason. It's fucking unatural and frightening.

edit ; all those places you've named are world-renowned for having the sleaziest greasiest men in existance, and the Californian smile is nothing if not sleazy and greasy. Perhaps you got smile-excess because you're a cute blonde girl in spic-town?

wheelchairman
03-01-2007, 02:07 PM
On the topic of food. I'm a sucker for brunch, I think the Americans got it down to an art. But the Brits truly are the masters of breakfast. I can't think of a better breakfast I've ever had then when I was living with a protestant family in Northern Ireland.

F@ BANKZ
03-01-2007, 02:18 PM
brighton. it's very very gay. so that helps.

Gay capital of Europe if i remember correctly. My auntie lives there and i saw a gay pride march passing once while i was there (though i try very hard to forget about it now). Having been there many times i can tell you the people at Brighton are not representative of the country as a whole, they are alot more aggresive and gay generally but not everyone is. I don't really know how you see the countryside there but y'now, i guess you either move about or are outside of Brighton. As for the food get to a cafe and have a full english, or a chinese us Brits do good chinese, unfortunately not eating meat, mushrooms or tomatoes ruins the full english experience for me a little.

And yeah old people kick ass.

TheUnholyNightbringer
03-01-2007, 02:37 PM
The south has pretty nice architecture, but generally pretty horrible people. The north is dirty and smells funny but has some of the friendliest, funniest people I've ever known.

For the love of GOD, stay clear of the Midlands. You think Brighton's bad? Come to Walsall.

Sin Studly
03-01-2007, 02:42 PM
I can't think of a better breakfast I've ever had then when I was living with a protestant family in Northern Ireland.

That'd be an Ulster Fry, not a Full English.

Paint_It_Black
03-01-2007, 03:45 PM
English food is fucking awesome, and nothing is better than a full English breakfast

Good so far.


although I hear the places that serve it in England suck.

Aww shit, I expected much better from you. You can't make a generalization like that. Some suck, some are good. It's like everything everywhere.

I was intending on making a California comment too but it's all been done already.


Never trust a northerner.

Bazza
03-01-2007, 03:48 PM
The south has pretty nice architecture, but generally pretty horrible people. The north is dirty and smells funny but has some of the friendliest, funniest people I've ever known.

For the love of GOD, stay clear of the Midlands. You think Brighton's bad? Come to Walsall.

I'd agree about the North/South divide, however don't generalise the Midlands. There's a huge difference between East Midlands and West Midlands (Brummy Land!).

Mota Boy
03-01-2007, 07:21 PM
nothing is better than a full English breakfast... Since you're a good ol' boy I'd have thought that wouldn't be a problem.You're assuming that I was a) awake for breakfast and b) willing to spend money on it. Also, I'm spoiled because I was raised on Southern breakfasts, which are kinda like English breakfasts, only perfected.

Sin Studly
03-01-2007, 07:24 PM
Grits and sweet tea < kippers and black pudding, sry.

Mota Boy
03-01-2007, 09:30 PM
Psh, like a convict can value a meal for anything more than a lack of alien organisms and a presence of shiv-worthy bones. You wouldn't know good food if your cellmate forced a scalding mass of it down your gullet.

Sin Studly
03-02-2007, 02:30 AM
A cup of sugar per half-gallon of iced tea ain't my idea of culinary sophistication, Johnny Reb.

JoY
03-02-2007, 02:50 AM
this entire topic cracks me the fuck up.

the times I was in England, I always wondered if the weather is the reason why people look so damn cranky. we've pretty much got the same weather in the Netherlands, though, so you'd think it shouldn't make a difference.

well, in some parts of the Netherlands people look chronically cranky aswel, so I guess my theory goes so far. that would also explain why the old people here & in England are so friendly; fuck, if it's the weather that used to make you cranky, you should be used to it by then.

life seems to either break or make you (maybe that's a too literal translation, but whatever). in medicine I see old people with the most severe diseases that have learned to handle everything, including deaths, loss, sickness & war. even if they feel like utter shit, they can still be friendly & overal very mild. but I also see old people with their chronic pains & complaints, just from simply being old, who can't deal with it at all & who are all bitter & cranky, like; "why does all shit happen to me"/"haven't I been through enough by now". ugh.

& seriously, a traditional English breakfast always smells defuckinglicious, looks like a collection of everything you don't want to eat if you want to keep your figure & health & don't intend to clutter your arteries, & that's what it tastes like aswel. the first three bites are yay, but from then my tongue pretty much goes numb for all the fatty, salty & sugery flavours.

Bazza
03-02-2007, 03:15 AM
this entire topic cracks me the fuck up.

the times I was in England, I always wondered if the weather is the reason why people look so damn cranky. we've pretty much got the same weather in the Netherlands, though, so you'd think it shouldn't make a difference.
You're forgetting that you guys have legal pot ;)



well, in some parts of the Netherlands people look chronically cranky as well, so I guess my theory goes so far. that would also explain why the old people here & in England are so friendly; fuck, if it's the weather that used to make you cranky, you should be used to it by then.
Old people always explain that we don't know how lucky we are, que Yorkshire accent "Look sonny Jim, in ma' day we didn't 'av mucdonalds and KVCs, we made do with bread and water". Also they'll convince you that life was actually black and whit before the 1940s.



life seems to either break or make you (maybe that's a too literal translation, but whatever). in medicine I see old people with the most severe diseases that have learned to handle everything, including deaths, loss, sickness & war. even if they feel like utter shit, they can still be friendly & overal very mild. but I also see old people with their chronic pains & complaints, just from simply being old, who can't deal with it at all & who are all bitter & cranky, like; "why does all shit happen to me"/"haven't I been through enough by now". ugh.
There's possible 3 categories of old people. The first are the friendly oldies (possibly without grandchildren) who are always kind to young "nippers". Next you get the bitter old people who hate the young and exuberant mainly because they wish they were still young. And finally you get the old people who are losing their mind, so don't really know what's going on.


& seriously, a traditional English breakfast always smells defuckinglicious, looks like a collection of everything you don't want to eat if you want to keep your figure & health & don't intend to clutter your arteries, & that's what it tastes like aswel. the first three bites are yay, but from then my tongue pretty much goes numb for all the fatty, salty & sugery flavours.
Believe it or not I haven't had a full English for over half a year, it's just too much effort to make. Goddamnit I want one now :(

JoY
03-02-2007, 04:44 AM
the ones who are losing their mind are either cranky, or friendly too, so I lump those in the same categories as the ones mentioned. ;p

legal pot is more of a tourist-thing. we barely touch that stuff.

Whiplash
03-02-2007, 04:53 AM
ehmmm, speak for yourself. ;)

killer_queen
03-02-2007, 05:07 AM
I've always imagined England a place full of men with adorable accent and hair like Hugh Grant's hair. If it isn't anything like that I swear I'm never going to England.

nieh
03-02-2007, 05:18 AM
well, in some parts of the Netherlands people look chronically cranky aswel, so I guess my theory goes so far. that would also explain why the old people here & in England are so friendly; fuck, if it's the weather that used to make you cranky, you should be used to it by then.

Lack of sunlight isn't something everyone's able to get used to especially if they're prone to winter depression (actually named seasonal affective disorder, or "SAD". How cute!). I wouldn't be surprised if everyone in England is sad because of SAD. If they only filled their houses with sunlamps it would make everyone that much more pleasant.

Zeall
03-02-2007, 05:27 AM
Lack of sunlight isn't something everyone's able to get used to especially if they're prone to winter depression (actually named seasonal affective disorder, or "SAD". How cute!). I wouldn't be surprised if everyone in England is sad because of SAD. If they only filled their houses with sunlamps it would make everyone that much more pleasant.

Why does everyone think that we British hate Winter just because we have to suffer 9 months of it?

i love Winter, it's great getting up in a morning and it still being dark, and i believe that when it snows, i mentally regress 5 years and just play in the snow all day (i tie carrier bags over my socks and then put my shoes on, no wet feet for me :))

sure cold's a bitch but when you have something to distract you from it, Winter is great fun

Whiplash
03-02-2007, 05:33 AM
I'll take summer over winter any day, sure having a snowball fight and iceskating with a couple of mates is a laugh. But nothing beats the hot sun on your face when lying on the beach with a beer in your hand.

Sin Studly
03-02-2007, 05:34 AM
The English seem to be good sports about winter, but they fucking bitch like crazy over their "summer", those three days of the year where the heat hits 28 C.

Zeall
03-02-2007, 05:37 AM
But nothing beats the hot sun on your face when lying on the beach with a beer in your hand.

hehe, we don't have beaches in England, we have shingles that cut the crap out of our feet, the odds are quite low to be on holiday AND have a sunny day here, it's sod and his laws i tell you

Whiplash
03-02-2007, 05:38 AM
Wich is strange because in the Netherlands we have about the same climate as the English and we have great summers.

Zeall
03-02-2007, 05:38 AM
The English seem to be good sports about winter, but they fucking bitch like crazy over their "summer", those three days of the year where the heat hits 28 C.

28 C.? i think that qualifies as a drought in England

Sin Studly
03-02-2007, 05:43 AM
hehe, we don't have beaches in England, we have shingles that cut the crap out of our feet

Ha, we convicts have beautiful beaches that can kill you in 500 different ways.

Whiplash
03-02-2007, 05:44 AM
Boxjellyfish, jeeeeeee

Zeall
03-02-2007, 05:48 AM
Ha, we convicts have beautiful beaches that can kill you in 500 different ways.

Yeah...well...er...we have those crazy jellyfish that wash up on the "beach"
you can poke them with sticks! (although no one ever questions why the fuck there is a stick on the beach, but it's always there)

nieh
03-02-2007, 06:00 AM
sure cold's a bitch but when you have something to distract you from it, Winter is great fun

It's not the temperature or the snow that causes winter depression, it's the lack of sunlight. The fact that you leave for school/work when it's still dark and then leave work when it's already dark again for months at a time drags a lot of people down.

Zeall
03-02-2007, 06:11 AM
It's not the temperature or the snow that causes winter depression, it's the lack of sunlight. The fact that you leave for school/work when it's still dark and then leave work when it's already dark again for months at a time drags a lot of people down.

ah, i see what you're getting at now, yeah i suppose that is a problem for most people, if that happened to me, i'd just get a job outside like working on a golf course or something

Zeall
03-02-2007, 06:29 AM
Shingles are so romantic. We have them in the north. I love them. They're as grey as the sky. When it's cold it's even better.


unfortunately, the picture is ruined when you get several people hopping along the beach shouting "ee, ah, ouch" every 3 seconds :)

Zeall
03-02-2007, 06:42 AM
But can't you walk with shoes on? Some lovely sandals would do the trick, I am certain.

You need to be telling that to them Duskychan, not me :)

Zeall
03-02-2007, 07:04 AM
This topic makes me want Fish 'n' Chips...

calichix
03-02-2007, 07:42 AM
hehe, we don't have beaches in England

whaaaaaaaaaat? dude, go to devon! they've got great surf and some of their beaches are in little valleys. the sun is still luke warm but at least it's not windy.

getting a sunlamp would be a great idea! the sun keeps coming out for like 10 seconds but by the time I've scurried over to it it's been covered by a cloud! and I gotta wear shoes. :/ I almost went to a tanning place today, which would've been mortifying but my skin craves something carcinogenic. bathing in formaldehyde isn't cutting it.

in australia they've got a kind of coral that'll give you a ghonnorea-esque rash if you so much as brush past it.

Zeall
03-02-2007, 07:50 AM
whaaaaaaaaaat? dude, go to devon! they've got great surf and some of their beaches are in little valleys.

I don't travel much these days, and if i did i may as well skip custard county and go a little further to France or something :)


the sun is still luke warm but at least it's not windy.

i can't tell wether you did that on purpose or not ¬_¬


in australia they've got a kind of coral that'll give you a ghonnorea-esque rash if you so much as brush past it.

That scares me that you know so much about it :D

Zeall
03-02-2007, 08:47 AM
There's a city called Toulouse. It's not too bad. It's the 4th biggest town in France, but the centre is small, its suburbs extend far. It's home to Airbus's tarmac & headquarters (recently the firm has had to streamline a lot, & not just its planes, employees as well).

It's called the Pink City because of its red bricks. It's in the South-West, it's sunshiny, the weather is nice except when it's windy (it rarely is so, but when the wind blows in gusts you don't make much headway & it's annoying).

Ppl speak with the funniest accent in all of France. There are lots, lots of foreign exchange students ranging from 20 to 28 years old approx. Coming from all sorts of horizons. The law school & the business school are quite good.

Incidentally, that's also where I'm living at the moment.

sounds relaxing, i'll definitely consider that for my next holiday

Zeall
03-02-2007, 08:58 AM
Grandiose. Make sure it tallies with mine, so I can actually do you the honours of the place. Some barrios are quite nice & flowery. You'll love it. & I'm not even hyping! *laughs* It'll be a change from... was it Kingley?

Keighley lol, shit'ole of West Yorkshire, lucky i only have to pass through it

Bazza
03-02-2007, 09:02 AM
Keighley lol, shit'ole of West Yorkshire, lucky i only have to pass through it

Surely it can't be that bad? Try living in Nottingham!

Sin Studly
03-02-2007, 09:06 AM
in australia they've got a kind of coral that'll give you a ghonnorea-esque rash if you so much as brush past it.

We got a kind that gives you instant anaphyleptic shock or whatever it's called and kills you, as well.

edit ; and everyone should wear sandals at the beach. Even if you don't have the Australian death-monsters, there's still dipshit junkies shooting up and leaving infected needles in the sand to get half-buried and prick innocent feet.

Bazza
03-02-2007, 09:13 AM
P.S.: same thing about Nottingham. The place just oozes robinhoodedness. You don't know your luck.

Sadly it doesn't ooze it at all. The only thing close to it is a small statue of ye olde Robin in the city centre.
http://p.vtourist.com/1546186-Robin_Hood_Statue-Nottingham.jpg

Sherwood forest is about 20miles away, incidently I'm going there tomorrow.

Edit: I probably think this because I live in the crime ridden concrete suburbs of Nottingham, and therefore lose the romanticised view of a heroic villian (let's face it he was a criminal) that is associated strongly with Nottingham.

F@ BANKZ
03-02-2007, 11:36 AM
Why do you expect Robin Hood's statue to be as grand as Joan of Arc's, she was a real heroine, martyr and icon. Robin Hood wasn't even real, besides he's got his own TV show which a much greater honour right?

Bazza
03-02-2007, 11:40 AM
Why do you expect Robin Hood's statue to be as grand as Joan of Arc's, she was a real heroine, martyr and icon. Robin Hood wasn't even real, besides he's got his own TV show which a much greater honour right?

I think the common view is that he was possible real, however he kept the money for himself and didn't give any to the poor! Also I dunno if anyone watched the series, but they mentioned The Old Trip (a pub), which still survives today (partly located in some caves) and sells a very nice ale of the same name!

Edit: Pubs full name: Ye Olde Trip To Jerusalem

Sin Studly
03-02-2007, 11:40 AM
We have some Jean d'Arc war memorial here. Ned Kelly still pwns Robin Hood though. Robin Hood wasn't man enough to get shot sixty times and live, the fag.

Bazza
03-02-2007, 11:42 AM
We have some Jean d'Arc war memorial here. Ned Kelly still pwns Robin Hood though. Robin Hood wasn't man enough to get shot sixty times and live, the fag.

They only had bow and arrows then, but yeah he wasn't anything hugely special, hence no great statue for him etc.

F@ BANKZ
03-02-2007, 11:48 AM
I think the common view is that he was possible real, however he kept the money for himself and didn't give any to the poor! Also I dunno if anyone watched the series, but they mentioned The Old Trip (a pub), which still survives today (partly located in some caves) and sells a very nice ale of the same name!

Edit: Pubs full name: Ye Olde Trip To Jerusalem

There is a very slight chance he was real but the conclusion of many researches shows its not likely. We don't need him anyway we've got real heros.


We have some Jean d'Arc war memorial here. Ned Kelly still pwns Robin Hood though. Robin Hood wasn't man enough to get shot sixty times and live, the fag.

Ned Kelly was a robber, Robin Hood was a real hero:rolleyes:

Sin Studly
03-02-2007, 11:57 AM
Arrows are fired a lot quicker than nipple-loaded percussion rifles, and a bodkin point would do about the same amount of damage ; although a broadhead would do significantly more damage. Although, Ned Kelly was tough enough to be shot by shotguns as well, which would cause more trauma than even a broadheaded crossbow bolt, so it all equals out.

Robin Hood was a fucking fairy. Ned Kelly got shot dozens of times and refused to die. Juraj Janosik got hanged by a hook through the ribs on a public gibbet and took three days to die. Saint Basil rebuked Ivan IV Grozny in public for not being church-going enough (for fucks sake) and got away with it. Ishikawa Goemon was boiled alive in a cauldron of water with his infant son, but managed to hold his son above the water even in death.

When it comes to the robbing the rich, giving to the poor shtick, Robin Hood was the biggest pussy out of the bunch. And he wasn't even real.

Bazza
03-02-2007, 11:58 AM
Jeanne d'Arc was a real heroine, while Robin Hood wasn't? Hmm. Although the whole romance à la Walter Scott that surrounds Robin is no doubt fictitious, surely the personage was founded on some real flesh-&-blood pop icon of the day.

I didn't know about the TV show, I knew Kevin Costner portrayed Robin but I didn't see the film.

I think the TV show may only be for the UK (made by the BBC I think). I've never watched the film, probably unlikely to either. However I remember watching some sort of cartoon film about it (was a very long time ago, almost a hazy memory).

the_GoDdEsS
03-02-2007, 12:04 PM
I think the TV show may only be for the UK (made by the BBC I think).

From what I have seen BBC documentaries provide shit facts.

F@ BANKZ
03-02-2007, 12:04 PM
I've still got the, definitive, cartoon version from when i was a kid with robin as a fox!!! SO great. And yeah Robin hood was made by the BBC and was designed to be a mulit-seris programme featuring lilly allens dad and afew other folks. It's super-cheesy but it adds to the effect. Also i still have very little doubt he didn't exist as there is no evidence of any hero or generosity in his times unlike with say, King Aurthur.

Sin Studly
03-02-2007, 12:05 PM
Ned Kelly was a robber, Robin Hood was a real hero:rolleyes:

Ned Kelly wins 2 vs 1 because he's also a hero, and he's actually real.

Bazza
03-02-2007, 12:07 PM
From what I have seen BBC documentaries provide shit facts.

If an English person said that it'd be blasphemous! The BBC is an institution for us Brits! However the problem with Robin Hood is that there is no hard evidence, and I think a bit of artistic licence was used in the TV series.

F@ BANKZ
03-02-2007, 12:08 PM
I think we can all agree, Scotland wins with Rob Roy as far as hero's go. He gets extra points for having an accent and alliteration in his name.

If an English person said that it'd be blasphemous! The BBC is an institution for us Brits! However the problem with Robin Hood is that there is no hard evidence, and I think a bit of artistic licence was used in the TV series.

The TV seris had no facts, it was just mindless fun.

F@ BANKZ
03-02-2007, 12:10 PM
Well it was scotland you gotta be a little lenient

Bazza
03-02-2007, 12:12 PM
I've still got the, definitive, cartoon version from when i was a kid with robin as a fox!!! SO great. And yeah Robin hood was made by the BBC and was designed to be a mulit-seris programme featuring lilly allens dad and afew other folks. It's super-cheesy but it adds to the effect. Also i still have very little doubt he didn't exist as there is no evidence of any hero or generosity in his times unlike with say, King Aurthur.
Yeah that's the cartoon version I remember! I wouldn't of had a proper childhood without watching that!



Ned Kelly wins 2 vs 1 because he's also a hero, and he's actually real.
But Ned Kelly's the son of an Irishman, so not a true Australian icon? To be honest I don't know much about him or what he did, care to enlighten me?


Incidentally, my first strategic management case study was based on robin hood's logistical issues: how to procure more food & bounty, whether or not to embark on the crusade with richard the lionheart & whether to expand out of sherwood forest. It was fun, nicer than Dell vs Hewlett Packard stuff.
I wish I could turn Chemistry around into something half interesting, also I never new "strategic management" could be interesting!

Sin Studly
03-02-2007, 12:59 PM
But Ned Kelly's the son of an Irishman, so not a true Australian icon? To be honest I don't know much about him or what he did, care to enlighten me?

Born in Australia to Irish convicts, was in and out of prison and workgangs his whole childhood along with everyone else in his family, mainly because they were Irish and had a family name known for thieving, so whenever a horse went missing they were arrested for it without evidence. A drunken ex-convict protestant policeman forced his way into their home by using his badge and "made free" with Ned's sister, so Ned shot him superficially. The policeman swore revenge and tried to kill him several times, before Ned finally had enough of the police persecution, stole some horses and went out into the bush with the Kelly to escape. At stringybark he tried to capture a police camp, and the police tried to shoot their way out and were all shot dead except for one who escaped.

Ned then published a revolutionary Manifesto, and arranged an armed revolution against the English as spiritual head of the "Greta Mob". The plan was to derail the special police train, then roll explosive barrels down onto it and ignite them, killing most of the Victorian constabulatory and wiping out all their artillery with one ambush, then going to siege in the Glenrowan Hotel, wearing medieval plate armour beaten from ploughblades, packed with townspeople as "human shields" to prevent the police from riddling it with bullets from afar. Ned kept letting hostages go out of kindness, and one informed on him and the train was stopped before it hit the ruined section of the tracks. When the police arrived, the gang fired on them and in the first bout of gunfire Ned took three near-fatal gunshot wounds. The police ignored the fact there were hostages in the building and riddled it anyway, killing several hostages and one of the Kelly Gang, and the remaining two ate each others pistols rather than let the police kill them.

Ned escaped before seeing his gang die to rendevious with the approaching Greta Mob and order them to disperse, not wanting any more innocent lives to be lost on his behalf. Had he allowed them to attack the police, he may have won, but many of his militia would have been killed. He then singlehandedly attempted to rescue the rest of his gang by charging directly into the police cordon with guns blazing, and was capped like a sucka 50 or 60 times with pistols, rifles and shotguns in the arms and legs. Instead of dying like any ordinary faggot would, he shot a few cops and passed out.

They hanged him later for murder.

F@ BANKZ
03-02-2007, 01:06 PM
He's actually pretty well heard of here, i personally have seen a film on him, read about him in history books, done an English essay on him.

The Talking Pie
03-02-2007, 01:22 PM
From what I have seen BBC documentaries provide shit facts.

I don't know... the BBC tends to be fairly reputable. However, most people only think that because they [the BBC] can be seen to oppose the government, as opposed to any actual credibility the corporation has.

the_GoDdEsS
03-02-2007, 01:41 PM
I don't know... the BBC tends to be fairly reputable. However, most people only think that because they [the BBC] can be seen to oppose the government, as opposed to any actual credibility the corporation has.

Apparently reputable, but my opinion of them kinda sank after watching a documentary on Elizabeth Bathory who lived in my country. They totally blew the facts out of proportion and concentrated more on legend than fact just to make it sound more shocking or whatever. Uh, I thought documentaries were supposed to be reliable and reflect reality. It was pretty lame to watch and I was disappointed.

The Talking Pie
03-02-2007, 01:51 PM
I suppose it depends upon the kind of documentary... the BBC has a lot of documentaries done by experts, and they're the factual, awesome ones.

However, they also commission some documentaries and have any loon talking about the subject-matter. They're more-often-than-not one-off documentaries, instead of series on the subject or field, which tend to be done by the experts.

In any event, the BBC are nowhere near as bad as Channel 4 and Five; they use celebrities way too much as 'sources' of information.

Paint_It_Black
03-02-2007, 05:15 PM
But Ned Kelly's the son of an Irishman, so not a true Australian icon? To be honest I don't know much about him or what he did, care to enlighten me?

Try searching for him here.

Edit: I made it easy for you http://www.offspring.com/forums/showthread.php?t=22832

Bazza
03-02-2007, 05:53 PM
Try searching for him here.

Edit: I made it easy for you http://www.offspring.com/forums/showthread.php?t=22832

Thanks, but that's far too long, I think Sin Studly gave a decent summary of that a page back so yeah I've got a better idea now.

Paint_It_Black
03-02-2007, 06:03 PM
Your loss.

Bazza
03-02-2007, 06:05 PM
Maybe I'll read it when I have a little more time, I can see he put a lot of effort into it so it might be worth doing it some justice by reading it.

Sin Studly
03-05-2007, 12:54 AM
I give fair warning to all those who has reason to fear me to sell out and give P10 out of every hundred towards the widow and orphan fund and do not attempt to reside in Victoria but as short a time as possible after reading this notice.

Neglect this and abide by the consequences, which shall be worse than the rust in the wheat in Victoria or the druth of a dry season to the grasshoppers in New South Wales. I do not wish to give the order full force without giving timely warning, but I am a widows son, outlawed, and my orders must be obeyed.

The last words of the Jerilderie Manifesto.

The crazy genocidal bits are better, though.

A Policeman is a disgrace to his country, not alone to the mother that suckled him, in the first place he is a rogue in his heart but too cowardly to follow it up without having the force to disguise it. next he is traitor to his country ancestors and religion as they were all catholics before the Saxons and Cranmore yoke held sway since then they were perse cuted massacreed thrown into martrydom and tortured beyond the ideas of the present generation What would people say if they saw a strapping big lump of an Irishman shepherding sheep for fifteen bob a week or tailing turkeys in Tallarook ranges for a smile from Julia or even begging his tucker, they would say he ought to be ashamed of himself and tar-and-feather him.

But he would be a king to a policeman who for a lazy loafing cowardly bilit left the ash corner deserted the shamrock, the emblem of true wit and beauty to serve under a flag and nation that has destroyed massacreed and murdered their fore-fathers by the greatest of torture as rolling them down hill in spiked barrels pulling their toe and finger nails and on the wheel. and every torture imaginable more was transported to Van Diemand's Land to pine their young lives away in starvation and misery among tyrants worse than the promised hell itself all of true blood bone and beauty, that was not murdered on their own soil, or had fled to America or other countries to bloom again another day, were doomed to Port Mcquarie Toweringabbie norfolk island and Emu plains and in those places of tyrany and condemnation many a blooming Irishman rather than subdue to the Saxon yoke Were flogged to death and bravely died in servile chains but true to the shamrock and a credit to Paddys land What would people say if I became a policeman and took an oath to arrest my brothers and sisters & relations and convict them by fair or foul means after the conviction of my mother and the persecutions and insults offered to myself and people Would they say I was a decent gentleman, and yet a police-man is still in worse and guilty of meaner actions than that The Queen must surely be proud of such herioc men as the Police and Irish soldiers as It takes eight or eleven of the biggest mud crushers in Melbourne to take one poor little half starved larrakin to a watch house.

I have seen as many as eleven, big & ugly enough to lift Mount Macedon out of a crab hole more like the species of a baboon or Guerilla than a man. actually come into a court house and swear they could not arrest one eight stone larrakin and them armed with battens and neddies without some civilians assistance and some of them going to the hospital from the affects of hits from the fists of the larrakin and the Magistrate would send the poor little Larrakin into a dungeon for being a better man than such a parcel of armed curs. What would England do if America declared war and hoisted a green flag as its all Irishmen that has got command of her armies forts and batteries even her very life guards and beef tasters are Irish would they not slew around and fight her with their own arms for the sake of the colour they dare not wear for years. and to reinstate it and rise old Erins isle once more, from the pressure and tyrannism of the English yoke, which has kept it in poverty and starvation, and caused them to wear the enemys coats.

What else can England expect. Is there not big fat-necked Unicorns enough paid to torment and drive me to do thing which I dont wish to do, without the public assisting them I have never interefered with any person unless they deserved it, and yet there are civilians who take firearms against me, for what reason I do not know, unless they want me to turn on them and exterminate them without medicine. I shall be compelled to make an example of some of them if they cannot find no other employment If I had robbed and plundered ravished and murdered everything I met young and old rich and poor. the public could not do any more than take firearms and Assisting the police as they have done, but by the light that shines pegged on an ant-bed with their bellies opened their fat taken out rendered and poured down their throat boiling hot will be fool to what pleasure I will give some of them and any person aiding or harbouring or assisting the Police in any way whatever or employing any person whom they know to be a detective or cad or those who would be so deprived as to take blood money will be outlawed and declared unfit to be allowed human buriel their property either consumed or confiscated and them theirs and all belonging to them exterminated off the face of the earth.

Zeall
03-05-2007, 04:04 AM
http://www.startrek.com/imageuploads/200306/tng-194-i-am-not-a-merry-man/240x320.jpg

I am NOT a merry man!

Bazza
03-05-2007, 09:19 AM
Haha, Zeall where is that from (it looks like it should be in the wizard of Oz or something like that)? Anyway from my day trip to Sherwood Forest here are some pics (I thought it was more appropriate to put them here):

The Great Oak:
http://i123.photobucket.com/albums/o320/bazza1987/STA60048.jpg

Me and my friends messing about!
http://i123.photobucket.com/albums/o320/bazza1987/n199701840_33392432_4711.jpg

Up a tree (I'm at the top)!
http://i123.photobucket.com/albums/o320/bazza1987/n199701840_33392444_8688.jpg

Paint_It_Black
03-05-2007, 11:31 AM
Haha, Zeall where is that from (it looks like it should be in the wizard of Oz or something like that)?

Star Trek TNG, fool.

khaaaaan
03-05-2007, 01:11 PM
On the topic of food. I'm a sucker for brunch, I think the Americans got it down to an art. But the Brits truly are the masters of breakfast. I can't think of a better breakfast I've ever had then when I was living with a protestant family in Northern Ireland.

Man, your protestant family was so much better than my presbyterian one. I had cereal:(

Bazza
03-05-2007, 04:19 PM
The day looked bright! It must be a one-off, bless be thy isle, oh Englishman.

The oak looks like it's seen more than one century... too bad it ain't in leaf. You ARE aware you & your mates look ridiculous, huh? & SO cute, boy SO cute, I wish I were there... *sighs her soul away* When I was little I remember going to woods, most notably the Forêt de Montmorency, & walking on crisp ochre leaves, gathering ferns & chestnuts in my lap. Things changed, the best I got in Lyon was a park (though a very lovely park indeed) & in Toulouse there's also a park, which is 10 metres away from my school, & STILL I haven't set foot in there. Though frankly, compared to Sherwood forest, it's almost sad.
Yeah I know we look like fools, I was forced into getting a hat and bow! Also Saturday was probably the nicest day for a while, all wind and rain this week :(


Star Trek TNG, fool.
Never watched it, although it looks like I didn't miss out on much!


Also I finally had my first cooked breakfast in months and it was fucking amazing! Although I did feel guilty afterwards for eating so much greasy junk,
but then it tasted soooo good!

H1T_That
03-06-2007, 03:09 PM
I feel greatly compelled to post in this thread, however i have nothing significant to add to the conversation.

Oh yeah, just a little note.. The BBC are shit because its them who make us pay T.V licences.

Bazza
03-06-2007, 03:23 PM
^ What is it,£120 now?

Sin Studly
03-06-2007, 04:26 PM
Man, your protestant family was so much better than my presbyterian one. I had cereal:(

Prebyterians are protestants, fool.

H1T_That
03-07-2007, 12:18 PM
^ What is it,£120 now?

I don't pay it so i don't know. Its something around that mark though.

Iddy
03-12-2007, 08:22 PM
english people go grocery shopping like they're shopping for the last groceries on the planet.


A truer word never spoken...