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JohnnyNemesis
03-21-2007, 04:08 PM
If we did evolve from monkeys then how come babies arent born monkeys. how come we cant speak monkey"

"No, everyone is born Christian. Only later in life do people choose to stray from Jesus and worship satan instead. Atheists have the greatest "cover" of all, they insist they believe in no god yet most polls done and the latest research indicates that they are actually a different sect of Muslims."

"I am a bit troubled. I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16 and I really don't think he's ready to date yet. What's worse is that he's sneaking some girl to his room behind my back. I need help, God! I want my son to stop being so secretive!"



I lol'd. Hard.

www.fstdt.com

MrJoe
03-21-2007, 04:37 PM
The website won't load for me =[

All About Eve
03-21-2007, 04:40 PM
Me neither.

goonadie1day
03-21-2007, 04:46 PM
wtf... it wont load for me neither!

nieh
03-21-2007, 04:49 PM
It must be Rick playing a joke. There's no way those are people's actual beliefs, right? Please? =,0(

JohnnyNemesis
03-21-2007, 05:06 PM
Unfortunately, these people DO exist and the website just happens to be down at the moment. It worked well earlier.

Oof.

JohnnyNemesis
03-21-2007, 05:44 PM
It's working! Check it:


but the way i see it with the Big bang is... if the big bang happened, why are we not see lots of life created in Iraq with all the bangs going off there?



Interestingly, and sadly, all we see on the internet and in society today is talk about domestic violence; but NEVER do we hear anything about statistics on wives who refuse to obey their husbands. It is evil. It is just as sinful for a wife to frustrate her husband through insubordination and disobedience as it is for a man to commit domestic violence.


A woman wants to abort a rape child? She should have thought of that before she walked down that dark alley without a male prescence, not to mention she should have thought before putting on revealing attire.

ZagmenO
03-21-2007, 05:54 PM
My browser's protesting or something. 'Cuz it's still not giving me the site. :mad:

JohnnyNemesis
03-21-2007, 05:57 PM
It's really temperamental. It works one second for me, and the next second it doesn't.

:(

Llamas
03-21-2007, 05:57 PM
Me neither... Ricky is fucking with us.

0r4ng3
03-21-2007, 05:59 PM
It's working for me, but it's hell of slow.

Edit:

This helps proves that Christianity is true.

A few days ago, there was a paraglider who was swept up into a storm to thousands of feet above the normal paraglider height. It was freezing, but she lived. The others didn't, it was a miracle. She is an atheist.

I think God was trying to get her to be a Christian. Hopefully she will not be stupid and she will convert after this. This was an opportunity that Jesus gave her to keep her from burning in Hell forever.

This proves that God is fair and that he gives people that deserve to burn in Hell a second chance.The only thing that would make this quote perfect is if she did convert, but then died on her next paraglider trip.

ZagmenO
03-21-2007, 07:27 PM
I got through now.


Mr. Stanton is not a role model. He's proven that. I think for the sake of our young people today, you need to do what's right, and that's terminate him. ... If Jesus was here tonight, I can guarantee you he'd want him terminated. Make no mistake about it."

This one down here's just a riot.

"boy, get YOUR facts straight!! Hitler was the second Antichrist! he was no Christian or Catholic, you should have heard his rants against Christianity. you tell yourself what you want to hear though, that's what the Germans did, and you see how they ended up. dumb teenage athiests...grow up and get an education.

WTF?


"If all you are doing is surviving, you are basically the Devil."

Lodat225
03-21-2007, 07:34 PM
Haha, that site's hilarious.

ZagmenO
03-21-2007, 07:40 PM
"I hope one day, that you all scream out in pain from the Pits of hell at us in heaven, you jew Bastards!"

That one's just plain mean.

JohnnyNemesis
03-21-2007, 07:50 PM
How is it not rational to believe in an unseen force that is moral and just ,and that being created all things for his pleasure?
If they teach you doctrines that are in any way contrary to the Word of God, even though it may seem that they have Scripture supporting their position, then be warned. I can twist Scripture to support abortion, sodomites and many other things.
Me and my husband is thinking about having a baby, but hestitate, because his brother (which we have no contact with whatsoever) is presumably gay. Might this affect the baby? Is there some precautions I can take, or some medicaments I can eat to make sure my child is pure? Thank you for your help, don't know what i'll do without you

Sweet jesus!

WebDudette
03-21-2007, 07:53 PM
Holy fuck, these people are ricockulous.

ZagmenO
03-21-2007, 07:54 PM
This one here is just completely hilarious!!!


"Athiests as a Majority

This is what it would be like, if the majority of people were athiests.
ATHIEST KID: Mom, I'm going to go fuck a hooker.
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, son.
ATHIEST KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive."
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, come home soon!

The athiest kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.

ATHIEST DAD: Hey!
ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life."
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want!
ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.
ATHIEST DAD: Why not?
ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men fucking eachother in there.
ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here?
ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet.
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me!

Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.

ATHIEST NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Christian outside!
ATHIEST MOM: We'll be right there!

The athiest couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of athiests stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods.

RANDOM ATHIEST: Damn you, Christian! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate your's! That's because we athiests are hypocritical like that! Die, Christian!

THE END

Scary, isn't it?"

0r4ng3
03-21-2007, 07:56 PM
Those Christians sure do know what hypocrisy sounds like, don't they?

WebDudette
03-21-2007, 08:04 PM
This one made me laugh.


"There is no evidence that anyone could present to me that could convince me God is not real. God himself could appear before me and try to prove to me he is not real and I wouldn't believe him either"

This one just pisses me off, if people want to argue evolution that's fine but atleast have some decent points.

"I don't mean to be mean but Darwin's gone loco [winking smiley] [confused smiley] [laughing smiley] I mean we didn't "evolve" from monkeys. Evolution is a major topic in my younger youth group,my friend says "If we "evolved"why aren't there any new humans walking outta the Birmingham Zoo?" which I think we need to ask the Scientists that question."

All About Eve
03-21-2007, 08:07 PM
"No But LoTR glorifies the warlocks, the elves and faeries. Those are what the people of the glenns and highlands used to worship before they were brough to Messiah. Believe it or not, people STILL worship Faeries, elves and such. It's a very central part of Pagansim, Wicca and Druidism. The central theme that I find throughout LoTR is that Druidism and Wicca are OK." TYVM, JohnnyNemesis!


"We apparently insist on thinking for ourselves on occasion, thus making us "evil". The Old Testament defines knowledge and free thought as "evil", thus making the seeking of knowledge a sin."

"[On respecting other's religion]

I cannot respect any religion that denies Christ, because it is simply wrong about the most important thing in the universe, and beyond."


"here is reality simple check for whether you are Christian:

( ) I support war against Islamic terror
( ) Terry Shiavo was murdered
( ) Abortion is wrong
( ) Gay marriage is wrong

if you disagree with any of these statements, I suggest you stop wasting your time and convert to Islam - that would fit you better"

Bazza
03-21-2007, 09:20 PM
but the way i see it with the Big bang is... if the big bang happened, why are we not see lots of life created in Iraq with all the bangs going off there?

This one I find truly brilliant, and you say these are real people?!

XYlophonetreeZ
03-21-2007, 09:25 PM
Ohgodohgodohgod.


"If u have sex before marriage then in Gods eyes u are married to that person if a man rapes a woman in Gods eyes they are married it sucks for the girl but what can we do lol"


"Evidence that the Bible is God's Word


1. It claims to be.

Example:
2 Timothy 3:16 - "All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness""


"Have you ever seen an airplane or a bird? They defy the theory of gravity. Dont' say stupid stuff..... theorys can be broken, that's why they're not laws....."

lolzage all around!

0r4ng3
03-21-2007, 09:28 PM
Haha, I like the second one.

"Of course the Bible is true! It says so in the Bible!"

Bazza
03-21-2007, 09:33 PM
haha, I better not start explaining what I think to that. Last time I did I think I upset a lot of people...

Paint_It_Black
03-21-2007, 09:59 PM
I want to kill them all.

I must be a Muslim.

JohnnyNemesis
03-21-2007, 10:01 PM
I must be a Muslim.

Which, as I've learned from these fundies, is the same as an atheist.

coke_a_holic
03-21-2007, 10:36 PM
Which, as I've learned from these fundies, is the same as an atheist.

That's not necessarily true. Athieism is a Muslim sect (lolol Islam has sects), so they have differing opinions on minor parts of the religion. Like the existence of god. More importantly, though, they hate the Shiites and the Sunnis even more than they hate each other. But I suppose it's fitting that they all hate Christianity, too; they don't believe Terry Shiavo was murdered.

Vera
03-21-2007, 11:20 PM
The third one in the first post is PRICELESS. The logic there will never stop being hilarious.

Some of the rest are just sad.


ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men fucking eachother in there.
ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here?
ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet.
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me!

Hahahaha. Bless us godless porn-addicts.

MrJoe
03-22-2007, 06:21 AM
This is fantastic.

Whiplash
03-22-2007, 07:16 AM
OMFG, how stupid can people get? Those things are LOLZ all around.:P

Sinister
03-22-2007, 08:08 AM
the site is pretty damn slow to load, but hey, pure gold is heavy so it's gotta be hard to move around.

Zeall
03-22-2007, 08:49 AM
"[Are you serious ? You mean Galilei kept saying that the Earth is the center of the universe and was punished by the Church for that ?]

He was prisoned not because of his ideas--but because he was an agent of the Illuminati. He was activitly involved in malicious attempts to undermind the community, and was punished for it. His personal beliefs that the earth was the center of the universe was proven false by the church."

This guy really needs to get his facts straight

JohnnyNemesis
03-22-2007, 10:35 AM
The third one in the first post is PRICELESS. The logic there will never stop being hilarious.

That's the one I always mention to people when I tell them about the site. If there's any post that'll get you to check out the site, it's that one!


the site is pretty damn slow to load, but hey, pure gold is heavy so it's gotta be hard to move around.

Lawl! True!

JohnnyNemesis
06-08-2007, 01:08 PM
Oh, best believe I'm bumping this:


"In Saudi Arabia and Iran, everybody is required to live as a Muslim. I see no reason why we shouldn't do the same thing in America, which is a Christian nation established by Christians, for Christians. As a Christian nation, we can (and should ) require everybody to live as a Christian -- or at least offer a higher class of citizenship to Christians. People who do not want to abide by established Christian beliefs and norms are free to live elsewhere. "


"Only a rebellious woman, who deliberately disobeys the Word of God, would wear pants."

Sin Studly
06-08-2007, 01:13 PM
Beginning to see what I've been saying about affording Protestants human rights in the first place? If we nipped them in the bud like we should have, there wouldn't be any of this bigotry and intolerance today.

JohnnyNemesis
06-08-2007, 01:17 PM
I agree:


"Someone asked what is the point in doing all of this research. We need to reach the bonobos because they're hopelessly lost in their oversexed, gay, paedophilic, incestuous lifestyle. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bonobo#Sexual_social_behavior. We need to show them the way, and without language we can't do that."


were not freaking pokemon come on, do you think a fish really turned into a monkey and that a monkey turned into a human? fish breath water, monkeys throw phieces at each other werre way different. GO CREATION THEORY

Omni
06-08-2007, 03:23 PM
I do believe I can contribute some geniune win to this already winner of a topic. I had a very very Christian in high school named Richard. He has this book called "The Truth for Youth" which is suppose to be the New Testament in the form of comic book illustrations. It deals with matters such as pornography, abortions, rock music, and other traditional enemies of the Christian religion. It follows the same senseless propaganda as that site, but it's from the Christians' point of view and actually meant to be taken seriously. I, myself, am a Christian, but I cannot stomach this shit one bit.

http://www.thetruthforyouth.com/standard/main.htm

Check it out.

T-6005
06-08-2007, 08:38 PM
The first time you posted this site everything on there was a gem. This time I went and it seems a lot of others must have discovered it, because it's just not as good anymore.

Jakebert
06-08-2007, 09:04 PM
For some reason, this reminds me of how much I love the "Weekend Web" section of SomethingAwful.

coke_a_holic
06-08-2007, 09:24 PM
I do believe I can contribute some geniune win to this already winner of a topic. I had a very very Christian in high school named Richard. He has this book called "The Truth for Youth" which is suppose to be the New Testament in the form of comic book illustrations. It deals with matters such as pornography, abortions, rock music, and other traditional enemies of the Christian religion. It follows the same senseless propaganda as that site, but it's from the Christians' point of view and actually meant to be taken seriously. I, myself, am a Christian, but I cannot stomach this shit one bit.

http://www.thetruthforyouth.com/standard/main.htm

Check it out.

I'm in love with you.

Omni
06-09-2007, 02:56 AM
The pornography comic is probably my favorite. The kid looks at the poor and then turns away wide-eyed, filled with disgust, like he's just seen a child being raped and then torn apart by demons.

Sin Studly
06-09-2007, 07:29 AM
Are they Jack Chick tracts? I love Chick tracts.