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View Full Version : I don't wear pants...is that going to be a problem?



Rag Doll
03-27-2007, 08:38 PM
So, this was amusing to me, so I thought I would share it.

On Friday afternoon, this guy in his mid 40's comes into the store. He asked if we were hiring, and the general manager gave him an application. He asked if he could fill it out later and bring it back. We said sure and he starts walking away. A minute later he comes back and says, "Oh, just one thing. I don't wear pants...is that going to be a problem?" For the first time, the other manager and I actually took a good look at him (we were on the other side of a counter). He was wearing a knee length tunic. The other manager and I are like, "uh, we'll discuss it with the hiring manager". So, the guy left...and we were all wtf?

The guy came back today. Wearing a tshirt and tights. And he smelled *terrible*. He gave the general manager his application. Then told him he needs $500/wk (never happen). The manager asked why. The guy said, "well, i dont have enough money for all the diapers I need. So, I have to pee on myself instead." And that was the smell. Urine. And the general manager just open mouthed stared at him and said "uhhhh, I don't think you'll work out here". The guy left and just stood outside the store and peed on himself before walking across the parking lot to more stores.

So. yeah. Anyone else have interesting work stories or anything?

Little_Miss_1565
03-27-2007, 08:44 PM
Um, wow. Sometimes we drink on the job. But nothing like that. Dayum.

endlesst0m
03-27-2007, 09:02 PM
HAHAHAHAHA. That's true?! If things like that could happen everyday, the world might be a better place. That's hilarious!

Endymion
03-27-2007, 09:26 PM
that's weird, i was hired even though i pee myself.

Rag Doll
03-27-2007, 09:28 PM
Ryan, if I were to hire you for a job, I would prefer it if you didn't wear pants.


Just saying.

sKratch
03-27-2007, 09:31 PM
uhhhh what the fuck?!

XYlophonetreeZ
03-27-2007, 09:32 PM
I am offended by your workplace. Such discrimination.

JohnnyNemesis
03-27-2007, 09:33 PM
I love this thread so much.

goonadie1day
03-27-2007, 10:01 PM
Here in Nebraska we have a fastfood restraunt called 'Runza'... its pretty much a shithole and everyone knows it. Its not even fastfood!

Anyways i got a job there, it was my first job and i was 15 and at the time i had pink and black hair. About 4 months after i started there i found out that one of the regular customers was a nut case. I at first felt really bad for her until one friday, it was going to be the first time i closed, and she came it 20 minutes before we closed, Which is fine. No biggy we just make you take it to go. Well i gave her the bag and she got really angry, but she left of so i thought... cause i heard the little door bell dinger.

15 minutes later we went up front to lock doors and mop and check tables and to my horror there she was. And she was holding 1 of the 3 ketchup dispensers. O.o The other two were lying empty on the floor and their contents were EVERYWHERE!

The floor... the walls... the tables... she was working her way up to the registers before she walked out of the other door.

I was so like... baffled and Amy went to call the manager and the police... but before either one of us could move she ripped the cap off of the last ketchup dispenser and like flung it on us.

Cops were called... and the manager had other people come in so we could clean it up. She got a restraining order slapped against her by the restraunt...

which did nothing. The next night Amy and i closed with the manager and when amy went to lock the front she couldn't see out the windows... which the lady (Her name is Lauren Coghst i know because i've testified in court against her 3 times) had spray painted this army green color.

Cops were called she was arrested.

8 days later i was not closing but Amy and Brent were... she put cow shit on there cars and poured water on it as to make it... well grosser.

The last time that she 'attacked' the store was the night i quit my job. She came in and while i was taking an order flung a 5 gallon bucket ok bbq sauce and ketchup and mustard and yelled at me... this ought to teach you to tell me to go away.

As soon as Amy and I no longer worked there... she stopped doing it and it only happend when her and/or i closed.

FUCKING NUTS...

Amy got a job later that year at the Press Box Bar-n-Grill... the lady showed up one night and flung a pitcher of beer on her.

She has never found out where i work now... i hope she never does... but its a private locked down facility...

Tizzalicious
03-27-2007, 11:26 PM
Urrrgh gross!!

Not Ozymandias
03-27-2007, 11:37 PM
A middle-aged Asian woman was perusing the porn section and asked me if we had any animal porn. Seeing as it is illegal, she settled for gay porn ("Flashers") instead.

I checked her account and she had previously rented Seabiscuit.

Llamas
03-27-2007, 11:51 PM
ragdoll and notozy's posts are awesome (though ragdoll's is moreso). Wow. Did the guy seem looney to you, like was his speech slurred or anything? Did you guys actually check out his application and stuff to see if he had a home or references or anything? haha, wow.

Vera
03-28-2007, 12:23 AM
Um, wow. Sometimes we drink on the job. But nothing like that. Dayum.

I hate you rock people.

Ozy's story ftw. Though obviously Sam's is also WTF-licious.

khaaaaan
03-28-2007, 01:42 AM
When I was 16, I worked in a local supermarket chain. One day, entering the storage room, I find one of Denmark's more popular actors wearing a leather vest and a pair of underpants, stealing a case of empty bottles. He looks at me and says "must have taken a wrong turn" and leaves through the back door. Wtf lol

Mota Boy
03-28-2007, 02:09 AM
A while ago, when I was working at the bank, I noticed that the counters conveniently came up to my stomach. I got occasional amusement out of the fact that I could theoretically do my job pantsless (we had to wear a suit each day). I was a travel teller, which means I bounced around to various branches when they needed extra help. One of them was incredibly boring; I'd do less than twenty transactions a day (meaning that in all of eight hours I'd probably see less than one customer every half hour on average, and often they'd all come at lunch and many would have multiple transactions (so I'd see, like, twelve people all day, six of them in one hour, and it's not like I had any other tasks to do). I beat a lot of internet high scores on those days, while zoning out and praying for Christ to return and take all the true believes to heaven, so life would at least be interesting for the rest of us.

One time I was exceedingly bored. My co-workers were on lunch, and I was the only one in the toom. I looked around, checked the angle of the cameras, undid my belt and dropped my pants, momentarily reveling in the freedom of a slight breeze through my boxers. At that moment, the door chime rang. I hastily tried to hike my pants up around my waste while somehow looking casual, but only managed to raise my trousers calf-high. It was not only a customer, but a co-worker. I had a momentary image in my head of this middle-aged woman coming around to my station for something and suddenly letting loose a blood-curdling scream as my corporate life was forever ruined. However, she stayed at her computer, counting down her money. I added the customer's checks into his computer, big smile on my face, pants around my ankles, and sent him on his merry way.

Llamas
03-28-2007, 03:24 AM
The best work story I can think of right now...

I was working at a garden center that catered to the richest and most spoiled of old people. This woman who had to be in her 80s hobbles in with her cane, goes up to my coworker (who is in her 50s) and says in her sraggley old woman voice, "Do you know where the corn cobs for squirrels are?" Aww, the sweet little old lady wants to feed the squirrels! So my coworker points her through the door to a side room, and says they're in there. The woman thanks her, and makes her way into the room.

Five minutes later, the woman emerges slowly from the room, approaches my coworker, and obnoxiously moans, "You fucking cunt! You're out of corn cobs!"

I will never relive the day I heard a woman in her 80s call someone a fucking cunt.

Jakebert
03-28-2007, 03:45 AM
My best friend's sister works at Dunkin Donuts, and there's a homeless guy that comes in once every other day and tries to pay her with pebbles.

wheelchairman
03-28-2007, 05:26 AM
I got nothing, nothing at all that compares.

One moron stuck his arm in the conveyor belt, but he was just stupid. He wanted to pick up his clip board (he could've reached around). But he was a moron. He's in the army now. moron.

Sinister
03-28-2007, 06:49 AM
Holy shit, this brings back a horrible memory that I might have already shared. I work at Directory Assistance (the 411 in North America), and while I was still training we were to take a couple calls with a "veteran" co-worker plugged in as well ready to take over the conversation if we screwed up. Kinda like in a driving-school car, but with headsets instead of steering wheels.

So I take the call, it's for Toronto, no biggie, I can do it as I can look stuff up anywhere in North America.

Recorded elderly lady's voice : Toronto, Doctor [can't remember, some Polish name], John Street.
Me : Good afternoon, would you spell the last name please ?
Lady : No, I'm blind.
Me : No problem, I'll try to find it by the sound.
[At this point I try various spellings and finally find it.]
Me : Thanks for your patience, we have a listing for Doctor [name], but it's not on John street, it's on
Lady, cutting me off : NO! JOHN STREET ! JOHN STREEEEET! JOOOOOHN STREEEEEET !

[I]Veteran : It's OK, that exact same call happens about twice a day on the weekends. First time it happens to a rookie during the training though.

Llamas
03-28-2007, 06:54 AM
Oh I've got one.

When I was doing telecounseling this past summer, I called this one guy who just sounded incredibly stupid with every word he spoke. I don't remember anything leading up to it, but we had to ask, "are you involved in any sports, clubs, or activities?" He said, "uhhh, do you have a swim team?" I said, "yes we do, do you swim?" He said, "uhhh, is it varsity or intermural?" I said, "varsity, do you swim?" He said, "uhhh........ bike." I was sooo confused for a couple seconds... then I asked, "Oh, do you bike?" "uhhh, yeah."

This guy had a 4.0 gpa and a 32 on the ACT... and went to a fairly tough school. WHAT THE FUCK??

Whiplash
03-28-2007, 07:04 AM
I've got one to:


I was standing behind a counter helping people, and a female co-worker of mine sat down on the ground next to because she needed something. She was looking and lookind and then saw i was having a hard time trying to get all the orders correct, so she decided to make it even harder for me. she started rubbing my leg slowle going up. the customers could not see her because she was sitting down, but they could see that i was acting weird.
My other co-workers were laughing there ass of at me.

The Talking Pie
03-28-2007, 07:40 AM
We had an old couple where I used to work who swore that they were descended from witches, and would stay on the phone for hours talking about it.

That's about all I have.

randman21
03-28-2007, 09:34 AM
I was hard at work at a clothing store, enduring that AWESOME Christmas traffic. I heard a woman on her phone (this was all I heard) say in the sweetest little southern voice "I don't know, I think it's spelled C-L-A-M-E-D-I-A." Changed my life.

JohnnyNemesis
03-28-2007, 09:50 AM
A middle-aged Asian woman was perusing the porn section and asked me if we had any animal porn. Seeing as it is illegal, she settled for gay porn ("Flashers") instead.

I checked her account and she had previously rented Seabiscuit.

Yeah, this thread is definitely the best one ever. <3 <3 <3

Sunny
03-28-2007, 09:55 AM
oh my god. that's just too fucking amazing. same goes to ozy.

nothing really exciting happens where i work, except for random drama between models/photographers/stylists. *shrugs* i almost broke a $78,000 watch the other day though, which was a highlight of my week. eeehe.

Lodat225
03-28-2007, 01:06 PM
Back when i used to work at Hollywood Video a guy came in and made me look for like 40 movies. After i find all of them, he tells me that he doesn't want like 5 of them so he told me to look for other ones. It took me like 2 hours to look for all of those movies. At the end, he had all 40 movies on the counter. I asked for his card-thingy. He told me he didn't have one. I asked him if he wanted one. He freaked out and screamed no at me. He ran out of the store. I had to put ALL of those movies back.

Yep, that's the only "exciting" thing that has happened to me at work.

sKratch
03-28-2007, 06:11 PM
I've basically only had to deal with regular stupid-person type stuff... Nothing really worth mentioning.

All About Eve
03-28-2007, 06:59 PM
When I was lifeguarding last summer, this guy constantly brought his sunburned, albino child to the pool. OPther than that the only interesting thing was floating out the training dummy and tricking one of the girls into jumping in and saving it.

/boring

nieh
03-28-2007, 07:18 PM
You should've reported the guy. That's gotta pass for child abuse or at the very least something like child endangerment. That kid's going to get cancer by the time he's 20.

All About Eve
03-28-2007, 07:35 PM
Well, she wasn't SUNBURNED, just red. And he started putting sunscreen on her a lot after we warned him once we noticed. Since shifts were only 45 minutes, none of us really knew for a while.

nieh
03-28-2007, 07:52 PM
How could he not have known that they need to put tons of sunscreen on? It's his daughter, that should've been one of the first things the doctor told him when she popped out of the mom. Even then it's recommended not to keep them in direct sunlight for extended periods. Albinos aren't supposed to be red.

Anyway, I've experienced lots of stupidity in my job but nothing nearly as insane as most of the things mentioned in here.

All About Eve
03-28-2007, 08:00 PM
Well, I'm assuming he didn't have much experience with doctors, as the child was only 2ish and he couldn't even speak English but for a few words. He was Hispanic, and probably didn't see why his child needn't 5x as much sunscreen as he did.

Paint_It_Black
03-28-2007, 11:11 PM
Alec thinks all Hispanics are stoopid.

Laugh Out Loud.

Llamas
03-29-2007, 02:48 AM
A hispanic albino child? Huh, I didn't know that was possible.

nieh
03-29-2007, 05:43 AM
There are albino penguins and alligators, why not albino Hispanics? Racist scum.

Llamas
03-29-2007, 05:45 AM
haha very good point! I just wasn't thinking... I'd just woken up. :P

MrJoe
03-29-2007, 05:58 AM
Off the top of my head can't think of any.

Except the scary lady who works on reception who has bright pink eyelids, no eyebrows, and is easily over 50. She smells of old too.

JoY
03-29-2007, 06:17 AM
I LOVE Ozy's & Sam's story. <3

I kind of have a story, but it's kinda more like an "pwn3d!!1"-story.
I was in my training period for med school & had to work as a nurse for five weeks, well, to give insight in what they do, how that takes a lot of skill & knowledge, & how important their work is. gave me more of a "well, duh"-reaction, but OBVIOUSLY.. there are docs that seriously don't get that. at all.

so I chose my dad's hospital & section to work at, because it's close to my parents', I know the atmosphere (been a patient in that hospital a couple of times) & was curious what lung specialism is like. I wouldn't run into my dad anyway, because I was on the lung department upstairs, while his job is to take anamnesis & diagnose people downstairs. anyway.. I was doing my thing, handing all the patients who were able to wash themselves a towel & all that jazz, suddenly a collegue of my dad walks up to me;
"have you given the patients their morning medication", he asked with a rude tone. "well no, because I'm not allowed to...", "well then, GET TO IT. & I'm expecting reports of all patients on my desk THIS AFTERNOON".

I was like, "wow, fuck that shit" & wanted to turn around to walk away. then suddenly one of my collegues stepped in; "oh hi, docter de Bruin! have you met Isabel? she studies medicine in Amsterdam, I think you should know her, she's docter Ullmann's daughter". then his voice suddenly became extremely friendly, he shook my hand, asked me how my studies were going & walked off in a MAJOR hurry.

I lol'ed.

Vera
03-29-2007, 06:25 AM
I lol'ed at the irony of you working at lung department. ;)

Sorry, had to.

nieh
03-29-2007, 06:40 AM
omg, burn! lolz!

JoY
03-29-2007, 06:44 AM
it's irony alright.

there was an advantage in me being smoker, though.
there was a patient with the last stage of lungcancer. it'd already spread to the lymph system.. well, hopeless case. he was living the last days of his life.. INSIDE a hospital. very depressing.

every once in a while I went to his room, knocked on the door & asked if he cared to join me for a smoke (after having asked permission from the nurses, but they always encouraged the initiative). his face would just lit up & he nodded every single time, while softly saying; "yes please". then I'd grab his wheelchair, disconnect him from the oxygen tank (not a good idea, smoking near an oxygen tank), drive him to the nearest smoking room & offer him one of my cigarettes.

I remember the day he died. the poor thing. I walked in with my daily pack of towels & suddenly his whole family was around his bed. they asked me to stay, because then at least there would be someone with a smile on her face & a few jokes on her heart in the room. I didn't though. jokes about life, smoking & cancer were only funny in the smoking room.

JoY
03-29-2007, 07:01 AM
also, I know two lungspecialists who don't smoke. one quit recently. *smile/grin*

Zeall
03-29-2007, 07:18 AM
(not a good idea, smoking near an oxygen tank)

Is it wrong that i giggled at the possibilities of this?

JoY
03-29-2007, 07:42 AM
ah yes, that would've been a hell of a way to go. "he died from smoking", death & smoking would instantly have a 100% sure connection. haha, of all the people, who tried to prolong his life to the point life equaled suffering, at least no one can say I did. hey, first I fed him cigarettes, then I set him on fire! well, practically, it probably would've blown up the man, but same effect.

Ime
03-29-2007, 07:46 AM
I don't think allot of people would punish you for that, mainly because there wouln'd be that much of you left.

Zeall
03-29-2007, 07:55 AM
ah yes, that would've been a hell of a way to go. "he died from smoking", death & smoking would instantly have a 100% sure connection. haha, of all the people, who tried to prolong his life to the point life equaled suffering, at least no one can say I did. hey, first I fed him cigarettes, then I set him on fire! well, practically, it probably would've blown up the man, but same effect.

I'm sorry, i didn't quite understand that :(

JoY
03-29-2007, 08:00 AM
I don't think allot of people would punish you for that, mainly because there wouln'd be that much of you left.

...there isn't enough oxygen in one portable tank to blow up an entire room.

nevermind, Zeall. I was just saying that it would've been one hell of a way to go.

Ime
03-29-2007, 08:10 AM
...there isn't enough oxygen in one portable tank to blow up an entire room.


Fair enough, maybe a fragment would hit you or something, not that i'm hoping something like that ever happens to you.

JoY
03-29-2007, 08:15 AM
it'd cause a relatively small explosion, that'd only travel as far as the short way up his nose, & the material & structure of tanks are made so no fragments fly around, randomly decapitating bystanders, when accidents occur.

anyway, did I mention I disconnected him from his oxygen tank?

Paint_It_Black
03-29-2007, 08:19 AM
I remember the day he died. the poor thing. I walked in with my daily pack of towels & suddenly his whole family was around his bed. they asked me to stay, because then at least there would be someone with a smile on her face & a few jokes on her heart in the room. I didn't though. jokes about life, smoking & cancer were only funny in the smoking room.

I loved this paragraph. It sounds like it should be an excerpt from a book. A book I would read.

You haven't written a book, have you?

Ime
03-29-2007, 08:20 AM
Yes, you did.

I think it's pretty cool you took out for a smoke.
I bet you'll make a great nurse/doctor one day.

JoY
03-29-2007, 08:38 AM
I loved this paragraph. It sounds like it should be an excerpt from a book. A book I would read.

You haven't written a book, have you?

no... but thanks for the compliment, that's always awesome. ;]


Yes, you did.

I think it's pretty cool you took out for a smoke.
I bet you'll make a great nurse/doctor one day.

yeah, it was a MAJOR sacrifice from my part, having to smoke, & only to make him feel better. ;p

however, thanks for the compliment (I don't know if it was sarcasm, but I'll just take it as one), but I would NEVER be strong enough to be a nurse. it's one thing to take an anamnesis, diagnose a person, set a treatment, write a prescription & hope that one way or another the person will be in a better state the next time he walks into your room. it's another to actually take care of them, while being unable to treat the disease. when you're in a hospital (& I'm not talking daycare), the nurse is like your mother. you fully depend on the nurses & on their care, they watch you day & night & they do anything they can to make you feel better in a non-medical way.

in those five weeks I did that training period as a nurse, I once had to walk it off by walking to the far end of the other side of the city, where the nightlife never ends, just to watch people laugh, drink, smoke, be careless & have fun, outside of a hospital. I caught myself developing dark humour at least five times & there were two times I almost cried for a patient.


aaaanyway; back to subject - weird storied from strange adventures at your work.
I think I've given others more weird at work-stories, than others ever gave me. I'm too good for this planet.