PDA

View Full Version : Porcupine sex. How DOES it work?



ZagmenO
04-06-2007, 07:24 AM
So, we all know that porcupines are those little rodent creatures who walk around with those biiiiiiig ass spikes all over them. They use those spikes in some sorta self-defense, right? Wow. I wish I had those. Don't mess with a porcupine! :cool:

Let's get to the point, though; shall we? How do porcupines "do it" without pricking each other? I imagine they do it the way most animals do. The male goes in back of the female and starts penetratin'. There is no way whatsoever that someone doesn't get stabbed in the balls by one o' them porcupine pricklers!!!

I know for sure that if a guy tries to rape a porcupine that he will be prickled just about everywhere and he'd have to go to the hospital. How do I know, you ask? ...I tried it once; and I had a hard time explaining it to the people who worked at the hospital.

"So, Zaggles," (the nurse called me Zaggles. Hehe) "Why are you here today?"

"Uuuuuh...I raped a porcupine."

*Dead Silence*

"I'll just get the doctor."

If anyone with good porcupine sex knowledge can come along and point me in the direction of how those things can make babies without stabbing each other in the...HEY!!! That's another thing! Giving birth!!! OK. I'm done with my little tangent, now.

Ready...set...DISCUSS!!!

mrconeman
04-06-2007, 07:29 AM
tl ; dr

Grabbal
04-06-2007, 07:35 AM
You think too much.

I have no idea BTW.

Thomas
04-06-2007, 07:45 AM
In Florida, it's illegal to rape a porcupine. I'm not even kidding.

Great Mike
04-06-2007, 07:47 AM
Face to face, I bet.

Tijs
04-06-2007, 07:59 AM
I know that the male has a huge penis. Compared to their body length, porcupines have the biggest of all animals. The female probably exposes her un-spiked belly, and they'll have unsafe save sex.

edit: Actually, I was thinking about Hedgehogs, but same principal I guess.

Duskygrin
04-06-2007, 08:03 AM
Somebody in here knows a tad too much to my taste. *tosses head backwards & laughs*

HeadAroundU
04-06-2007, 08:27 AM
I wish that porcupines wouldn't invent the missionary position so as to Zaq couldn't be with us.

RickyCrack
04-06-2007, 09:05 AM
[..image..]
tl;dr

Forza
04-06-2007, 09:50 AM
Wow, that's an amazing picture.

Nina
04-06-2007, 09:53 AM
wtf at that picture.

RickyCrack
04-06-2007, 10:03 AM
long cat is loooooooooooooooooooooong.

ZagmenO
04-06-2007, 10:09 AM
http://i171.photobucket.com/albums/u287/ZagmenO/porcupine.jpg

Paint_It_Black
04-06-2007, 10:28 AM
tl;dr/shut up FagmenO.

Great Mike
04-06-2007, 11:01 AM
When I though I had seen it all with roflmao's and lmao's you appear with tl;dr. What's that?

ZagmenO
04-06-2007, 11:04 AM
"Tl;dr" means "too long; didn't read."

Too bad. They're missing out on some gems, there. :D

JohnnyNemesis
04-06-2007, 11:18 AM
ZagmenO is amazing for all the wrong reasons.

ZagmenO
04-06-2007, 12:31 PM
ZagmenO is amazing for all the wrong reasons.

All the porcupines seem to think so, too.

Well, the ones that aren't going through immense animal therapy.

Venom Symbiote
04-06-2007, 03:57 PM
Let's get to the point, though; shall we? How do porcupines "do it" without pricking each other?

Zomgiggles at t3h pun.

RickyCrack
04-06-2007, 04:30 PM
[image]
tl;dr

[..image]..

Venom Symbiote
04-06-2007, 04:42 PM
Spamqueen.

RickyCrack
04-06-2007, 04:44 PM
Spamqueen.

Better than being a regular queen, amirite venom?

Endymion
04-06-2007, 04:51 PM
i always liked the moot and snacks in that picture.

RickyCrack
04-06-2007, 04:59 PM
I think my favorite is the shoop da whoop part.

Lodat225
04-06-2007, 05:36 PM
It is a Shoop Da Whoop pic.

They faggoted it with the cat. You can tell by how horrible the art is after the shoop da whoop.

ZagmenO
04-06-2007, 07:02 PM
RC, you've made your point with the dang cat already! Sheesh.

Anyone got any video footage of porcupine on porcupine action already?

ZagmenO
04-06-2007, 07:03 PM
Zomgiggles at t3h pun.

I didn't notice that was a pun. Good find!

RickyCrack
04-06-2007, 07:09 PM
RC, you've made your point with the dang cat already! Sheesh.

Anyone got any video footage of porcupine on porcupine action already?

Obviously my point with long cat went moot since you're still trying to be funny and failing miserably.

ZagmenO
04-06-2007, 07:10 PM
Obviously my point with long cat went moot since you're still trying to be funny and failing miserably.

Your opinion.

RickyCrack
04-06-2007, 07:13 PM
tl;dr





u were saying?

ZagmenO
04-06-2007, 07:14 PM
Either find some X-rated porcupine action or GTFO!

TheUnholyNightbringer
04-06-2007, 07:24 PM
Die .

RickyCrack
04-06-2007, 07:40 PM
Either find some X-rated porcupine action or GTFO!

stop copying everybody elses joeks.

edit: I accidentally said plz, lol.

ZagmenO
04-06-2007, 07:41 PM
stop copying everybody elses joeks.

edit: I said plz, lol.

Who said that besides me?

RickyCrack
04-06-2007, 07:42 PM
Who said that besides me?

Ninth uses the gtfo phrase constantly, the only thing you did was make it less funny by adding something about porcupines.

p.s.




u were saying?


[]


[I]

ZagmenO
04-06-2007, 07:45 PM
"GTFO" has been around for a long time.

RickyCrack
04-06-2007, 07:46 PM
"GTFO" has been around for a long time.

But it's only a coincidence that you start saying it after ninth maeks if popular on this bbs?

ZagmenO
04-06-2007, 07:50 PM
But it's only a coincidence that you start saying it after ninth maeks if popular on this bbs?

I don't pay much attention to him, so I didn't know he made it popular on this BBS. Let alone did I even know that he said it.

RickyCrack
04-06-2007, 07:52 PM
]


[

u were saying?


I don't pay much attention to him, so I didn't know he made it popular on this BBS. Let alone did I even know that he said it.

lol, faggot

ZagmenO
04-06-2007, 07:53 PM
Insightful remark. :rolleyes: :)

0r4ng3
04-06-2007, 07:54 PM
Holy crap-for-crap, that first page was like a mile long.

I approve.

goonadie1day
04-06-2007, 08:24 PM
http://www.londonstimes.us/toons/cartoons/Simeon_PorcupineSex.jpg


http://workinghumor.com/cartoons/porcupines.jpg

http://www.straightdope.com/art/1992/920501.gif

lololololo

Paint_It_Black
04-06-2007, 10:40 PM
lololololo

So, is it 1day yet?

Lizardus
04-06-2007, 11:21 PM
Every time i read that username i'm like : "1gonadaday?" "gonads1day?"

ninthlayer
04-06-2007, 11:44 PM
So, is it 1day yet?
Oh God, don't we all?

goonadie1day
04-06-2007, 11:55 PM
So, is it 1day yet?
What are you... a fucking broken record?

Every time i read that username i'm like : "1gonadaday?" "gonads1day?"
lololololo, i know im supposed to take offence... but that was funny.

Oh God, don't we all?
Well i certainly cannot wait for your day...

Rag Doll
04-06-2007, 11:58 PM
"gonads1day?"

that totally reminded me of that little gonads and strife thing

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/weeee.php

All About Eve
04-07-2007, 12:40 AM
Sammie, your sense of humor is that of a twelve year old:rolleyes:

Rag Doll
04-07-2007, 12:41 AM
im so immature =(

JohnnyNemesis
04-07-2007, 01:12 AM
ZagmenO needs to fucking die.

Llamas
04-07-2007, 02:12 AM
sam, I used to LOVE that video!!! hahahaha. aww.

goon started using the "lolololo" thing in every post since noticing that ninth does it... she didn't do it at all when she started posting... now she does it in just about every post.

and people are "broken records" about it because you're so fucking lame that we can't wait. and your username is so horrible.

ZagmenO
04-07-2007, 06:39 AM
AWeSOME!!! This thread is gettin' way off-topic! Unfortunately, I don't wanna keep it that way. So, for your viewing pleasure...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3Ibcn3_3X0

I apologize for the quality. It was the only search term that came up on Google. It pretty much matches Tijs's wonderful description.

Llamas
04-07-2007, 06:49 AM
that totally reminded me of that little gonads and strife thing

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/weeee.php

by the way, this totally made me to go threebrain... the site that originally hosted that video. And I remembered the other videos that were so great. Like the Hypothermia one (http://www.threebrain.com/dailies2.php?daily=478) and the School Bus of Death one (http://www.threebrain.com/dailies2.php?daily=484).

0r4ng3
04-07-2007, 09:07 AM
Why do people keep asking if it's 1day yet? Is it that important that she goes on a diet?

Paint_It_Black
04-07-2007, 10:01 AM
Dude, it's for her health.

JohnnyNemesis
04-07-2007, 10:02 AM
And ours too.

0r4ng3
04-07-2007, 10:03 AM
Oh. I understand now.

So, is it 1day yet?

BurningSnake
04-07-2007, 10:23 AM
Hey man can we get back on the topic please!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't screw around man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is friggin important!!!!!!!!!!!
cant u see that if we dont discuss this.........
theres no wonder if the numbers o guys that wanted to rape a porcupine
keeps building up in the hospital.......
I f U ask me i think there doing it belly to bell U know what I mean:D

JohnnyNemesis
04-07-2007, 10:39 AM
....

...so, 1day yet?

wheelchairman
04-07-2007, 11:16 AM
It's clearly a typo. Her name is supposed to be "GoonieDietday". One day a year she spends the entire day watching Goonies movies.

Paint_It_Black
04-07-2007, 11:49 AM
And fasting?

ZagmenO
04-07-2007, 12:59 PM
Hey man can we get back on the topic please!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't screw around man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is friggin important!!!!!!!!!!!
cant u see that if we dont discuss this.........
theres no wonder if the numbers o guys that wanted to rape a porcupine
keeps building up in the hospital.......
I f U ask me i think there doing it belly to bell U know what I mean:D

Damn straight! We must spread the word that porcupine rape is bad.

0r4ng3
04-07-2007, 01:29 PM
[]

[.....image.....]

ZagmenO
04-07-2007, 01:37 PM
http://i171.photobucket.com/albums/u287/ZagmenO/porcupine.jpg

Lodat225
04-07-2007, 02:04 PM
That's really annoying.

P.S.

Great Mike
04-07-2007, 02:09 PM
If you repeat it another time you'll be funny. Motherfucker.

goonadie1day
04-07-2007, 03:20 PM
Obviously my point with long cat went moot since you're still trying to be funny and failing miserably.
Dude... and you being a fucktard on purpose is so much better...


Why do people keep asking if it's 1day yet? Is it that important that she goes on a diet?
You know what. I play football... not only could i outrun your ass... i could take you down fairly easy. My weight is good for my sport.


Dude, it's for her health.
Im very healthy thank you very much.


Oh. I understand now.

So, is it 1day yet?

NO!

It's clearly a typo. Her name is supposed to be "GoonieDietday". One day a year she spends the entire day watching Goonies movies.

Its not a fucking typo you moron. STFU.

All About Eve
04-07-2007, 03:21 PM
]

[....image....]

Llamas
04-07-2007, 03:26 PM
You know what. I play football... not only could i outrun your ass... i could take you down fairly easy. My weight is good for my sport.
American football is a man's sport. Are you a man?



Im very healthy thank you very much.
You said yourself that you're fat. Being fat is not healthy.




Its not a fucking typo you moron. STFU.
No, it's not a typo. You just don't know how to spell.

goonadie1day
04-07-2007, 03:33 PM
American football is a man's sport. Are you a man?
No im one of 3 girls on my football team. But im the only varsity starter.


You said yourself that you're fat. Being fat is not healthy.
Yes... im fat... as in i wear a size 12... but you have to take into consideration the sports i do... and most of my weight now is muscle...



No, it's not a typo. You just don't know how to spell.
Ok... i have always spelled i 'goona'... and one day im going to die... thats how i got my name...

Llamas
04-07-2007, 03:37 PM
I had a friend in high school who did varsity football... and soccer... and basketball... and she weighed about 135 lbs with all her muscle, and was probably 5'6. So saying "I'm in sports" doesn't justify being fat...

edit: How do you continue to spell a word like "gonna" wrong? It's so damn common... it's not like misspelling a long word that you use one time a year... I've even noticed you spelling it wrong long after people have told you it's wrong.

goonadie1day
04-07-2007, 03:44 PM
I had a friend in high school who did varsity football... and soccer... and basketball... and she weighed about 135 lbs with all her muscle, and was probably 5'6. So saying "I'm in sports" doesn't justify being fat...

edit: How do you continue to spell a word like "gonna" wrong? It's so damn common... it's not like misspelling a long word that you use one time a year... I've even noticed you spelling it wrong long after people have told you it's wrong.

ask me if i care...

im just goona keep doing what im doing. Is that goona bother you?

Llamas
04-07-2007, 03:46 PM
If you didn't care, you wouldn't always reply to everything people throw at you. You spend all this time defending yourself... you obviously care. Then when you can't defend yourself, you try saying you don't care. haha.

Paint_It_Black
04-07-2007, 03:50 PM
Hey Goon, I just want to clear something up. When we joke about wanting you to die, well, we're not joking. No one here likes you. No one at all.

So, is it 1day yet?

Lodat225
04-07-2007, 04:03 PM
In my football team there's 3 fat guys. In the women football team there's about 7.

Doesn't really mean you're skinny if you're in football.

@ ilovellamas: american football is not only a men sport. that's kinda sexist.

Llamas
04-07-2007, 04:07 PM
@ ilovellamas: american football is not only a men sport. that's kinda sexist.

Hello, point. Meet Lodat.

Lodat225
04-07-2007, 04:10 PM
I don't get it. http://i13.tinypic.com/2daymup.gif

Llamas
04-07-2007, 04:12 PM
.........I was kidding. And intentionally being sexist...

Grabbal
04-07-2007, 04:13 PM
Off topic: Keep the Super Mario avatar Lodat! plz.

Lodat225
04-07-2007, 04:24 PM
.........I was kidding. And intentionally being sexist...

Ohh, alright.

ZagmenO
04-07-2007, 04:30 PM
This is turning into a spam thread. For the first time ever, the ignore list is my best friend, as it was my worst enemy in the past. It's full of those redundant "long cat" people.

Lodat225
04-07-2007, 04:40 PM
[]




[...image...]

Grabbal
04-07-2007, 04:42 PM
Long cat <3

mrconeman
04-07-2007, 04:43 PM
Long cat is loooooooooong

Grabbal
04-07-2007, 04:46 PM
Long cat is looooooong.

http://i15.tinypic.com/2zs7f60.jpg

Llamas
04-07-2007, 04:50 PM
Maybe everyone can end up on fagmenO's ignore list... then he'll be talking to nobody.

[]

[]

Lodat225
04-07-2007, 04:52 PM
[]


Maybe everyone can end up on fagmenO's ignore list... then he'll be talking to nobody.


Notice that there's two cats not one.

Grabbal
04-07-2007, 04:52 PM
[]

I'm in!

Wow. Longest Offspring BBS page ever or what??

ZagmenO
04-07-2007, 05:16 PM
tl;dr


[]




u were saying?




This means war! :cool:

Llamas
04-07-2007, 05:19 PM
You do realize that you're only just fucking up your own thread...?

ZagmenO
04-07-2007, 05:44 PM
You do realize that you're only just fucking up your own thread...?

Chica, this thread was fucked up to begin with. Porcupine sex? Yea, I knew no one would take that seriously.

mrconeman
04-07-2007, 05:47 PM
Pity you won't realize no one takes you seriously though.

Llamas
04-07-2007, 05:52 PM
Chica, this thread was fucked up to begin with. Porcupine sex? Yea, I knew no one would take that seriously.

So you made the thread, why exactly?

ZagmenO
04-07-2007, 08:38 PM
Pity you won't realize no one takes you seriously though.
I realize and don't care. In fact, I just laugh. :p

So you made the thread, why exactly?
Because it's perfectly normal to be interested in how the reproductive system of a porcupine works. Mommy told me that there's nothing wrong with it...so there!!!

JohnnyNemesis
04-08-2007, 06:56 AM
But your Mom also thinks there's nothing wrong with having sex for money, so yeah, her judgment isn't all that great.

Harnum
04-08-2007, 07:18 AM
Sigged, thxuvrymuch

JohnnyNemesis
04-08-2007, 07:40 AM
urvrywelcum,lawl.

ZagmenO
04-08-2007, 07:51 AM
Plz leave my mom's night job outta this...:(

goonadie1day
04-08-2007, 09:52 PM
Im bumping this... hahaha